Troy

Since we're talking about slaughter scenes, that epic battle at
Stirling is truly unbeatable. It’s the gold standard for gritty, large-scale combat where you see exactly who's winning and who's paying the price.
😬They used over 6,000 extras to film that sequence, and more than a hundred of them actually ended up needing medical attention afterward.

Immediately following her comes the epic battle at 🙏 Falkirk, followed by a long lull before the siege of
Troy begins.
I am just waiting to see how they portray Alexander the Great.
That man was truly LUUUUUUUD tough, and if he isn't depicted that way, I will be genuinely disappointed. 😁

What did he actually do? What do you all think? Any city that dared to resist him was leveled to its foundations, with the inhabitants either killed or enslaved. Even those that surrendered peacefully weren't safe from a similar fate, especially if they decided to rebel the next morning.

I don't quite understand why people are so disappointed with
Troy. What exactly were you expecting besides a Hollywood spectacle?
At the end of the day, what is wrong with a Hollywood spectacle? If I wanted something intellectually demanding or deep, I would pick up a book. I go to the movies to enjoy myself, and Troy is more than enough entertainment. 👍

Hands down, this is easily the most boring movie I've ever sat through.
It’s basically just a $250 million pile of absolute junk.

Danielle Steel's Troy

😁😁😁

Personally, I thought the movie was totally fine!! It just drags a bit in places with some pretty tedious, long scenes...
It’s kind of wild how you can be watching someone struggle for their life, praying they don't die, but then you just stab them in the stomach with a sword and they're dead before you can even finish saying "cookie"!
See ya👋

I just walked out of the theater myself, and honestly, there wasn't anything new or particularly surprising about it.

I don't really feel up to diving into all the details right this second... maybe I'll talk more tomorrow once I've had some time to process everything, but most of what I mentioned before actually ended up happening...

It’s a bit of a shame that they put Achilles so much in the spotlight, because he isn't even the main figure of that whole saga—that would be Odysseus. I suppose Hollywood is obviously more interested in the guy swinging swords and doing all that action stuff.

In my opinion, though, the best film by Wolfgang Petersen remains Das Boot.

So, to me, this movie doesn't really stand out from things like Gladiator, Braveheart, or LOTR... and since we're on the subject, you could probably watch the trailer for The Day After Tomorrow and see it'll be exactly the same as The Core (which was honestly one of the worst things I've ever seen), Deep Impact, Vulcano, and so on.

I actually watched Helen of Troy recently, so I suppose this is more or less the same kind of movie. I guess the only real difference might be that the actress playing Helen seems quite a bit more beautiful than the one in Troy, at least based on what I saw over on IMDb.

silentpilot6... You've gotta be kidding me, don't tell me you actually think Braveheart is a good movie???? 😲 😲
I might just lose my mind... or at least go on a total rant....🙂

So... I just finished watching a late-night showing of Troy.
The first half hour was a total disaster... just hammy acting and pure boredom... my friend and I spent the first thirty minutes just cracking jokes and laughing our heads off about how bad it was.
My favorite part had to be that scene where Achilles' mom tells him, "Listen son, if you go to Troy, you aren't coming back," and Achilles just gives this super "deep" stare into the distance. Like... please. 🙄
And then there's the woman playing Helen, who is—well, I won't say she's ugly, but let's just say... she's nothing special... she looks like any other random person you'd see walking down a street in any US city.
It’s so weird because she's supposed to be playing "the most beautiful woman in the world," when both Saffron (Hector's wife) and the other woman Achilles is seeing are way ahead of her in the beauty department.
Plus, her acting is just DESPERATE!!!
Both her and Orlando gave such catastrophic performances.
On top of that, they completely butchered The Iliad, leaving out huge details and changing everything... and then they have the nerve to slap "inspired by Iliad" on the credits at the end as an excuse....🙄
But, honestly, once I pushed past all that nonsense, I actually got sucked into the movie and really enjoyed myself.
I especially loved Brad Pitt and Eric Bana.... oh my god, if I hadn't been sitting behind a screen, I would have jumped right in and started flirting with them.
Man, what absolute smokeshows.
Brad is so incredibly buffed up that Russell in Gladiator looks like a total couch potato next to him.
Seriously, you wouldn't want to run into him in a dark alley somewhere.
And hey... the acting was actually decent, especially Eric. He was truly great.
The battle scenes are absolutely stunning.
I almost teared up when Hector died, and Patroclus too... and, uh... when Brad was giving that whole speech about humanity and blah blah blah....
So, basically, three absolute legends in one movie. That makes it worth it.
All in all, I'd give it a 4 * out of 5. 😁

Quote: Legion. You clearly enjoyed it.
For me, Troy was pretty boring (aside from the fights).

We should probably pass a law in America banning people from making historical epics that have absolutely nothing to do with our own landscape.

That’s definitely how it should be.

Later.

The very first thing that popped into my head the second I walked out of the theater was: "Peter Jackson is God!!!!"

Honestly, anyone who had the nerve to grumble that anyone could whip up a historical or fantasy super-spectacle given the massive tech, budget, and crew available should go watch Troy.
See, Petersen had three times the budget, way better technology (unlike that New Zealander who apparently had to sell off his entire flock of sheep just to afford some computers 😁), he had A-list stars, and a massive army of film crews spread across several continents.
His only real problem was that he had absolutely no clue what to actually do with them.

I’m pretty sure most of the "historical" research for Troy basically boiled down to watching the LOTR trilogy. I mean, there isn't a single thing in this movie that hasn't been swiped or borrowed from Jackson's films. What Petersen is so obviously missing—and what he just couldn't replicate from LOTR—is vision, risk, and actual passion.

Look, folks, Troy is a movie with top-tier acting, top-tier production, and third-rate writing.
The first thing that hits you is the catastrophic dialogue—and when I say catastrophic, I mean K-A-T-A-S-T-R-O-P-H-I-C!!! Good grief, who wrote this? R. A. Salvatore? Robert Jordan? Danielle Steel? It feels like it was penned by some ambitious but painfully untalented fantasy writer who has spent their entire life reading nothing but R. A. Salvatore, Robert Jordan, and Danielle Steel. I was honestly just waiting for Paris to turn to Helen and drop a baby line.

But alright, fine. Some people claim that dialogue is the least important factor in a Hollywood super-spectacle. Well, how about the battles? They look like the soggy fever dream of any aspiring fan of American gladiators. Still, I can't say I didn't walk away with a few history lessons. Thanks to this movie, I learned that in the ancient world, two armies of fifty thousand men would charge at each other, kill a few people, then just stop and circle around some incredibly important mano-a-mano showdown: Hector vs. Ajax, or Hector vs. Patroclus (though I honestly thought he was Achilles—I mean, they both clearly go to the same barber 😁).
To make a long story short, the battles are just like the rest of the film—lifeless and boring.

When the characters were talking, I was counting the minutes until the action started, and once the action finally kicked in, I was counting the minutes until they started talking again.

…
And maybe none of this would be such a headache if the cast hadn't almost entirely flopped (that's Brian Cox, Brendan Gleeson, and Eric Bana 🙂).

I say "almost entirely" because we have Peter O'Toole there, who carries the whole thing on his back for a mere five hundred spears. Apparently, you need sixty years of acting experience just to deliver this garbage dialogue in a way that sounds phenomenal.

The absolute worst part, though, is Brad Pitt. Don't get me wrong, I like him as an actor and he's got talent, but what on earth possessed him to portray Achilles as some kind of narcissistic, douchey quarterback prima donna? When he was charging toward Apollo's temple at the beginning, I seriously thought he was going to attempt a touchdown. Not to mention he has this silly you-have-to-see-it-to-believe-it Dragon Ball Z special move where he charges, jumps, and stabs with his sword.

The only thing I couldn't figure out was whether that "what-is-this-even-supposed-to-be" look in his eyes belonged to Achilles or to Pitt himself.

…
Anyway, to wrap this up... as I already said:

Don't watch Troy.
Take those two and a half hours and do something much better and more noble: work in your garden, flip some pancakes, walk the dog, or head to the barber...

…
One more thing.

Peter Jackson is God!!!

hmmm... I thought I’d drop by to share some thoughts, and it looks like Richard Hernandez13 saw and felt pretty much the exact same thing I did 👍

folks, don't waste $10 on a movie ticket—you're much better off grabbing some burgers instead 🙂

Richard Hernandez13 said:The most tedious movie ever made.
A complete waste of a $250 million budget.

Danielle Steel's Troy

😁😁😁

It felt to me like some low-budget soap opera set against the walls of some famous city...
Hector was somewhat tolerable, but everything else...🙂
aside from the shirtless, muscle-bound archetypes, of course.
The portrayal of Achilles was an absolute mess—he’s presented as this indecisive, borderline incestuous wreck who doesn't even need a woman, yet somehow dies happy in her arms. It is a travesty how they handled such a legendary epic... Helen is utterly lifeless, just someone staring blankly into the distance, a performer with zero depth, all covered in useless makeup. And Andromache is just another victim of war. Don't waste $10 on a decent burger for yourselves; send it to that actress instead.

Bercana said:Look, silentpilot6. You clearly loved it.
For me, Troy was pretty terrible (except for the fight scenes).

Americans should be legally barred from making historical films that have absolutely nothing to do with their own landscape.

And I mean that wholeheartedly.

Take care,

Look, Bercana. Personally, I find that everyone praises LOTR totalno smeće Breaveheart. 🙂 🤮

Braveheart remains one of my all-time favorite movies. So what if it is?
Kill me now.😁

Bye,

So, they’re attacking Troy now, like it's some kind of four-part VIII epic?

What exactly was scavenged from that absolute buffoon Jackson?

You bring up dialogue, but just look at the dialogue in LOTR.
🤔
-From what I recall of reading The Iliad back in high school-the armies actually stood there watching their "champions" tear into each other.

Granted, they probably didn't all stand still (at least not the ones more than ten feet away), but those close by certainly did.

And let's be honest, Achilles is a narcissistic butcher.
👎One more thing: Jackson is a guy who calls himself an expert in Fantazy, much like I claim to be an expert in nuclear physics.

I’ll step in here as an outside observer to offer what I believe to be my own perspective from God😁 (though outsiders often see the situation more clearly than those on the inside) 😬

It seems to me that there is a pervasive sense of animosity throughout this entire subforum toward Hollywood spectacles, or anything even remotely resembling them.
To be honest, I am not quite sure how LOTR fits into this whole narrative, but it feels like that one exception that proves the rule. It isn't actually a Hollywood spectacle—it’s an Australian production, and since Jackson is also Australian, perhaps that is why it managed to turn out so brilliantly despite its flaws.

I would bet that if it had been filmed in Hollywood under a different director, people would be spitting on it just as much as I do. 👍

When you say you dislike Braveheart😲—I truly don't understand that. If you said you disliked Gladiator, I could wrap my head around it—but even that film hasn't earned such intense criticism. Now, you're saying you dislike Troy as well.
It is not that I am specifically defending it; to me, it is decent entertainment, nothing more. But for anyone claiming that it is better $10 to spend money on nails—they are simply being ridiculous.

What I really want to say is 🤔 that if you can't manage to be a sophisticated film enthusiast, at least don't act like one. You shouldn't pose as someone who "gets" cinema while automatically attacking spectacles by default.

Besides, what exactly were you expecting? Hegelian philosophy? Deep substance? Dialogues that will teach you everything there is to know about the art of film?

It is not as if I am some defender of Hollywood. Far from it. I am simply writing down how things appear to me. I might be wrong, but I do not believe I am being completely delusional or writing things that have no basis in reality.
Now, this is where we run into 😁 mass psychology. One person starts criticizing something, then others join in, and everyone else feels compelled to outdo the previous critics—even if they don't actually feel that way, they just follow the crowd.

I haven't just noticed this here; it happens frequently across the forum. Even people I know personally behave this way online, only to talk to me about completely different things in RL.

Regardless, I have no intention of defending Troy, so why bother? It didn't move me deeply enough to justify spending any extra time on it. However, if you are going to watch it, you should.

Mandrili-ti, why are you getting so worked up? If you enjoyed it, fine, but if we didn't, that's just how it is 🙂
even if this

There were some really great moments. Honestly, the snacks were the highlight—mostly because I was starving. The champagne was decent enough, and the wine—some Pinot—was passable.

It definitely improved my impression 😬

P. S. You've basically explained why critics praise certain films while trashing others. It's all about the presentation 😂

I'm not upset at all; I'm just taking a break from studying and decided to write a bit and put together some psychological profiles of the people on this forum.

Thure, you've got it wrong. There is a massive difference between offering criticism and engaging in mass psychology.😁

Besides, I am actually quite interested in hearing more critiques regarding Troy.

P. S.
I haven't properly explained what the Mandrili-ti actually are yet; you seemed to think they were just some kind of spheres 😂 or whatever else you mentioned. You probably remember it too😉

So-ko, who is the bigger mandril here? 😬

I might be a mandril, but you are a total MANDRILČINA 🙂

silentpilot6 said:I’m honestly not quite sure how LOTR fits into my whole perspective on things, but I suppose it really is that one damn exception that proves the rule. It isn't just some typical Hollywood spectacle—it feels more like an Australian production through and through, especially since Jackson is Australian himself, which probably explains why he managed to turn that absolute mess of a project into something truly stellar.

Whatever you do, don't go calling a New Zealander an Australian! 😉

...
Just to be clear, I don't have anything to say. I really don't hold any particular grudge against those big Hollywood spectacles.

I have I’ve always felt this deep-seated, almost irrational frustration whenever I find myself sitting through a movie that just feels completely hollow—you know, those films that lack any real soul or spark, whether they’re trying to be some massive, sweeping Hollywood blockbuster or a pretentious little indie darling. It’s such a letdown when you go in expecting to feel something, only to realize you're watching something totally lifeless and uninspired.

...
It just doesn't exist. I honestly feel like I’m just being dragged through the mud here. When it comes to movies.

silentpilot6 said:But you guys really went after Troy just because it’s some four-way split like VIII Nego-kaj.

Is this whole Nego-kaj thing just stuff scavenged from that FAT IDIOT JACKSON?

You bring up the dialogue—well, if you actually take a look at the dialogue in LOTR.

🤔-from what I seem to recall about reading the Iliad back in high school- the armies basically just stood there watching their "star players" beat the hell out of each other.

I mean, granted, they probably didn't all stop in unison (not that anyone more than ten feet away could tell), but those close to the action were definitely just standing there.

And let's be honest, Achilles is a total narcissistic slayer anyway.

Plus, I guess Jackson is just some guy who pretends to know anything about Fantasy, much like how I pretend to understand nuclear physics.👎

What you said definitely applies to him being fat, but honestly, if I ever had to choose which movie to rewatch, Troy over LOTR any day... I actually dig Troy because it doesn't have those scenes that absolutely nauseated me in LOTR, specifically those parts where Frodo, Aragorn, and Arwen are having these cinematic visions like they're on some kind of trip... it really drags the movie down so much it gives you a headache.

I guess I mostly agree with you on that point...👍

I’ve only seen the trailer, and honestly? No way am I wasting my cash on that disaster until maybe ABC or—better yet—GOT picks up the rights in like 10 or 15 years. I'm just not about throwing money away on those American hacks... though hey, if they end up teaming up with Morning, who knows? Actually, nah, better not.

Hey there!