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Moderators are being so petty, uncreative, and incompetent

Started by reddriver35 · · 👁 3 views · 193 replies

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reddriver35 reddriver35 Active MemberOP
51 messages
joined Aug 2010
#1 ·
Most moderators on this forum aren't actually doing their jobs. This isn't about being toxic or starting drama. I just want to point out the flaws in how things are moderated—and how they aren't.

In my view, being a moderator shouldn't just be about handing out bans and deleting threads. It shouldn't be about picking on the smaller users 😬. Unfortunately, that seems to be the only thing happening here. Sometimes it feels more like a competitive sport than actual oversight. 😁

I get it; this is a massive site, and dealing with relentless trolls can be exhausting.

But we aren't all trolls. There are people coming here with genuine issues looking for advice. And what do they get? Chaos and rudeness from certain users. Meanwhile, the moderators don't seem to care about the author, their problem, or the mob that descends on them. They either can't or won't grasp the context of a thread. So, the group runs wild, the discussion falls apart, and the user leaves feeling completely let down. 😢

I know the mods will probably jump in and label me a spammer. They'll brand me and act like I have no right to an opinion. I disagree. I have a right to speak. I admit my mistakes, and I’m trying to cut back on the spam. But let's be honest: some moderators mess up too. Even if they often look the other way when I break rules that should earn me a ban. It's happened several times. And who could I even complain to? I'm just the damn barking spammer, according to a nickname one moderator gave me. 😢 Ironically, he claims to enjoy my spamming because I'm "spunky and cute."😕 He couldn't care less, as long as he isn't the one getting banned.

But I'm more than just a spammer.

I actually understand people. Lately, users have been hitting me up via private message—not to chat, but to ask about threads that were deleted. I give them advice and support. They feel safe talking to me in my DMs. That’s how they should feel on the forum, too. But they don't. Because the moderators just hand out punishments while the unruly crowd runs rampant. 😢

A moderator should know how to step into a conversation and help the author guide the discussion. We have a few who do that, but it's not enough. More of them should act that way. A truly good moderator is like a fairy over at Psychology.

My issue is that I feel bad for the people who have been swept away by the broom and kicked off the site. My other problem is that I can't keep up with all the private messages anymore. 😢I'm buried.😢
Plus, my inbox capacity is tiny—only 75 messages.

I'm not asking for a bigger inbox; I'm trying to constructively point out that moderators need to do their jobs properly.

Because whatever I am doing in private messages is exactly what should be happening right here on the forum, where more people can participate in the discussion. Civilizedly!!
wearyotter81 wearyotter81 Member
28 messages
joined May 2015
#2 ·
reddriver35 said:
Because they feel totally safe in my DMs.

I find this so sweet! 😬
hollowtrucker77 hollowtrucker77 Regular
681 messages
joined Nov 2007
#3 ·
reddriver35, you’ve shared your little perspective, sure, but you haven't provided a single shred of concrete evidence or an actual example to back any of it up
we set out to read about various mods, yet somehow ended up reading a biography of you instead
🙂
placidfalcon4 placidfalcon4 Member
44 messages
joined Feb 2010
#4 ·
🍿

I just wanted to give a quick shout-out to the mods on my feed—specifically "Sports"—and how they actually protect us decent users from the constant troll invasions.😁

Though man, there are some real characters among the mod team out there. (hint: Lyla)🤣
reddriver35 reddriver35 Active MemberOP
51 messages
joined Aug 2010
#5 ·
hollowtrucker77 said:
princess, you gave us your opinion, but where's the proof? Or a single concrete example?
we came here to talk about mods, but all we learned was about you.
🙂

Oh, definitely. There's a thread on an American forum that actually inspired me to start this one here. Not sure if I'm allowed to drop a link, though. It's public. 🤷

My point is this: moderators delete comments instead of actually stopping the toxic vibes from taking over a thread.

So the discussion dies. People just end up trolling each other. It basically encourages spamming. And somehow, I'm the only one getting penalized. 😢 Honestly, I think I overexplained myself because I’m worried nobody takes me seriously. 😢 That's why it ended up being more about me than the actual issue. 🙂

Can I post the link? 🙂
reddriver35 reddriver35 Active MemberOP
51 messages
joined Aug 2010
#6 ·
placidfalcon4 said:
🍿

I just want to give a quick shout-out to the mods on my feed—specifically the "Sports" crew. They do a killer job protecting us actual contributors from the endless swarm of trolls.😁

Man, there are all kinds of mods out there. (Looking at you, Lyla.)🤣

Not on my watch! I started this thread with one goal in mind: making sure it actually serves a purpose.

There’s really no need to tear others down.

Got a specific example of that moderator's behavior? Lay it on me.

Don't come over here acting like a know-it-all just to start a fight. What's your goal? To stir the pot?

Look, I’m not here to start a fight. I just want a solution. Is that too much to ask? 🙂

Is there any point in discussing the housing fund? 😁

P.S. A little praise is fine, but there's no need to go overboard with the brown-nosing. 😬
placidfalcon4 placidfalcon4 Member
44 messages
joined Feb 2010
#7 ·
reddrider35 said:
Not happening! I started this thread because I actually want it to be useful.

Cut the trash talk—stop dragging everyone else down.

If you actually have a specific example involving that moderator—go ahead and lay it out.

Don't come over here acting all high and mighty just to stir the pot and start a fight.

Look, I’m telling you again—I'm not looking for a fight here. I just want a solution. 🙂

The Housing Finance Agency? Please. Just another layer of bureaucracy. 😁

P.S. A compliment is fine—but there's really no need to start sucking up. 😬

The point I'm making is—not every single mod is out to get you.🙂

Where else am I going to find a better example than mine? That guy over at the local YMCA is basically a legend around here.😁 So, half the forum went after her, and the other mods were busy scrubbing her posts—yet somehow, she’s still a moderator.🤷 And you’d be looking for a solution too—as if that actually helps.🙏

I can speak to this specific example—it’s one of the few I actually know. I'll leave the rest alone since I don't have any insight there.🙂
reddriver35 reddriver35 Active MemberOP
51 messages
joined Aug 2010
#8 ·
example topic

The author reached out to me privately. I sent him a DM because honestly, it felt wrong seeing everyone mock him. Private messages stay private—I’m not posting his name here. But he could have just said all this on the forum if people hadn't chased him off. 😢

This is just one example. It happens more often than you'd think. 🙂

Edit: Like I said, I messaged him because the treatment wasn't fair. And guess what? He actually reached back with some good news. 🙂

My point is this: he should be able to talk about this openly on the forum. There are plenty of users here who would actually understand and offer solid advice. Instead, the thread died because of poor moderation. The guy still has questions. Still has doubts. We aren't all clones. Not everyone is walking around with Chuck Norris levels of 😁 confidence. That shouldn't be a reason to treat anyone like this. 🙂
reddriver35 reddriver35 Active MemberOP
51 messages
joined Aug 2010
#9 ·
Alright, let's get into it...

N/A said:
The second I saw you were 24 and she was 26, I knew it wouldn't work. End of story. Fairy tale over. Plus, you sound insecure. Older women aren't really looking for younger guys who lack confidence. : rofl:

N/A said:
I don't want this thread to go off the rails. Based on my post, it might look like I'm some terrified kid, but I didn't write everything out because I'd have to pen a whole novel. Bottom line: I'm not some scared little boy, but I'm no Don Quixote either...
Just an average guy who isn't afraid to approach women. It's a bit tricky right now since she's older, but I'm not a loser....
What I'm actually wondering about is timing. Should I make a move immediately so I know where I stand, or would I have better odds by playing it slow and hanging out more to see if something lasts????
The worst thing would be waiting too long and never even trying :not sure:

timid moderator
N/A said:
That’s what I was thinking too. 😁

As far as advice goes, the best suggestion was from Ona007... just shoot her a message saying When are we grabbing coffee? and then wait.... 😁
That's what I would do... hopefully. 😁

N/A said:
It's not bad; that's usually my strategy anyway, though it feels a bit shallow 😁

This is slightly better.
says:
It’s not shallow.
Just ask her out for a drink—no extra explanation needed. Let her figure out what kind of drink you mean and why. 😁

the guy's got issues
says:
Hmm, she’s a bit different from most girls. I don't think that typical "alpha" move works on her... she shuts those guys down pretty fast when they try that, so maybe I need something more creative? :D She's more of a sweetheart; she isn't interested in showboating. : )
I don't have her number, so I'll definitely hit her up on Facebook. It's just a question of how. 🙄


the meltdown begins!!

kiss me said:
God, for crying out loud, is he an insecure mess or 🤦
Look honey, maybe stay away from her. You're still too young for this:face:

His "strategy" ( watch the spelling 😲) is to ask a girl he likes for coffee—shallow!!! :lo l:
Seriously, what else would you invite them to? Deep-sea diving? :lol ::lo l:

says:
Wow, rude. I was talking about the approach, not whether it's coffee or scuba diving. 🙄

says:
Like I said. The guy is way too immature for a 26-year-old woman. And then they have the nerve to laugh at me when I point it out, especially when his own actions prove him wrong. He claims he's "responsible and mature despite being young"—as if you can wrap garbage in fancy cellophane and expect it not to smell. : lol:

Yeah, if he actually had any brains or a shred of seriousness, he wouldn't be opening threads like this on a forum. He’d be out grabbing coffee with her right now.

kiss me said:
I'm not being rude, you're just getting on my nerves... why are you bothering me on a Sunday afternoon with this nonsense 😠
What else would you do, ask her out for coffee in some "extra" way? :not knowing:
Should I recite a Shakespearean sonnet to her? :lo l:

Are you chatting with her on Facebook? Then near the end of the conversation, just write—we should grab coffee tomorrow if you're down... and that's it. :facepalm :

So at 25, you need to draft a formal manifesto just to ask someone for coffee? 🙄:lol ::lol :

N/A said:
Maybe tell him to stop thinking with his ass like he's doing here. I've noticed only guys who can't get laid open threads here looking for a recipe for their sex lives and relationships. : )

N/A said:
Overreacting?
She's 24, she doesn't claim to be some philosopher, and she isn't overthinking fifty different ways to ask someone for coffee. It's Sunday. Why are you sitting at home on a forum? You're overcomplicating things. That's what you're doing.
Why aren't you having coffee with her right now? It's Sunday, the weather is great, there's sun, hot coffee, and pastries—that's it. Or are you afraid you won't have anything to talk about? You've turned a simple invitation into a massive philosophy project. Maturity? Responsibility? All I see in your posts is a kid who just wants to hook up and nothing more. A man who actually likes a girl would just invite her for coffee, lunch, or pizza and spend his Sunday in good company. Instead, you're here spinning endless webs of bullshit over a damn cup of coffee.

Write yourself a cheat sheet before your date so you don't forget how to speak. 🤣

What a freak, my god. : rofl:

toorkish said:
🤦

I'm sick of these metrosexual types and all those sensitive, soft guys. There are so many of you that even I'm seeing too many women running away from you in search of an old-school man.

I'm totally over these kinds of threads..

toorkish said:
Then come over here and let me show you what I've got. I'm older, and I'm damn good in bed. : clint:

This thread is already dead.

reddriver35 said:
Fanboy. Ahem... Does the age gap bother you? : o

kiss me said:
You can tell he's whining because I'm being blunt with him, and I don't even know him. :lo l:

To the OP: if you want people patting you on the back and feeling sorry for you, go buy someone a coffee on Facebook.

And where are the moderators?

By the way, just so nobody thinks they're hunting witches, N/A isn't the only moderator on this forum.
reddriver35 reddriver35 Active MemberOP
51 messages
joined Aug 2010
#10 ·
placidfalcon4 said:
The point I'm making is simple: not every moderator is out to get you.🙂

Where could I find a better example than mine? Isn't that guy a legend over at the local YMCA?😁 So, half the forum went after her, other mods were busy scrubbing her posts, and yet? She’s still a moderator.🤷 And you’d be looking for a solution, too?.🙏

I can speak to this one. As for the rest, I’ve got nothing to say.🙂

Look, I’m not saying everyone here is a villain. My point is simple: this forum is poorly moderated.

Like you said. Half the forum migrated just because of her, yet she’s still holding onto that moderator spot. I've heard things about her. I don't really hang out in the Sports section, so I wouldn't know for sure.

Look, I'm giving you all an opening here. Why not take it? Write something about it. 🙂
reddriver35 reddriver35 Active MemberOP
51 messages
joined Aug 2010
#11 ·
wearyotter81 said:
This is adorable! 😬

Thanks, I know I am pretty. 😁

Let's talk about my inbox for a second. 🤣

The truth is, I contribute more to this forum than some of the actual moderators. And yet, I can't seem to climb down from my pedestal of shame. 🙂

Since we're being sweet, let's clarify the connection between me and the mods.

Sometimes the moderators go overboard, handing out bans without thinking twice. I saw it happen with my own eyes when N/A got banned. Meanwhile, the jerk who actually caused the reaction didn't get a thing. In this thread

Unfairly Banned Post

Sorry you have to read this. It's a bit grotesque. 🤦
The only person who actually had anything useful to say in that thread was the one who got banned. Honestly, I just find it hilarious now. 🤣

I often find myself laughing at this place. It feels like something straight out of "Monty Python". 🤣

So yeah, they ban me too. I know I'm on the moderators' blacklist.
Fine. I'll admit my mistakes, but maybe the mods should look at their own.

They don't participate in the discussion. Just saying "maybe" like a brick wall isn't enough. 😬

You're supposed to build a good atmosphere. De-escalate things. Sometimes jumpstart a stale debate. Hint: look at how a fairy handles things over at Psychology.

And another thing. I once went to the women's section and my posts were deleted. They called me and a few others "chronic arguers with an attitude problem"😢
in the thread lesbian anthem 🤣, and honestly, I still think it's funny. : D

They don't even know me.
wiredharbor22 wiredharbor22 Active Member
82 messages
joined Feb 2008
#12 ·
The community here has been this way for a long time. Every so often, a topic pops up on the US board that really belongs over on the general forum, but it stays put because people know the original poster won't get any real answers... they'll just get drowned out by a sea of jokes at their expense. 🤷
reddriver35 reddriver35 Active MemberOP
51 messages
joined Aug 2010
#13 ·
wiredharbor22 said:
Look, this forum has always been like this. Occasionally, a topic pops up on the General Discussion board that doesn't actually belong there. It should be moved over to the Off-Topic section, but it stays put because everyone knows the OP won't get any real answers—they'll just get drowned in a sea of jokes at their expense. 🤷

Are you implying I'm playing Don Quixote tonight? 😢

P.S. Should I tell this guy to start a thread in General Discussion, or just have them move it? 🤷
wiredharbor22 wiredharbor22 Active Member
82 messages
joined Feb 2008
#14 ·
He directed those remarks toward him. 🤣

I can't tell if you're playing the Don Quixote role here. Personally, I've reached my limit with it. I'm convinced there are ways to fix this, but clearly, the current state of affairs suits too many people. It's baffling to me that they don't care that all the decent users have abandoned the forums... 😁
reddriver35 reddriver35 Active MemberOP
51 messages
joined Aug 2010
#15 ·
Look, this thread isn't just about the specific subforum. It’s about how this entire site is managed. I’ve tried to adapt to the chaos, yet I’m still getting warnings even though I haven't actually harmed anyone. When I have something meaningful to say, I say it seriously. A little casual chatting in the social areas is fine. But this? This is a free-for-all. And they allow it. Honestly, they don't know how to fix it, nor do they seem to want to. I don't see a single moderator from that section anywhere in here.
It just goes to show how broken the system is. The moderators aren't even showing up. So arrogant!!

And regarding the users and their issues with the Recreation section, it's the exact same story! Nobody shows up to offer anything constructive or point out what's actually wrong.

And I'm the idiot for starting this thread. 😢

There's your answer. It's better to spam and play the clown than to actually contribute something intelligent. 😢

They practically encourage the spam, then slap you with a warning for it. To make matters worse, they penalize high-quality posts while leaving these mindless, negative rants untouched. 😕 Isn't the goal to foster discussion through example? They fail at that. It proves they can't tell the difference between actual trolling and someone just using sarcasm, irony, or a bit of humor.
The thing is, those kinds of posts are often indirectly on-topic and actually help the conversation.

But how am I supposed to explain that to you if you won't even try to understand? 🤷

This is the second time I've looked like a fool right here on this American forum this week. 😢

I've been punked! Part two. 😢 😢

...
@wiredharbor22: Maybe I'll just send it to my boss in the end.
velvettiger10 velvettiger10 Member
41 messages
joined May 2008
#16 ·
reddriver35 said:
It’s a total circus, honestly. I don't even know how they let this happen. The truth is, they have zero intention of actually fixing anything. I haven't seen a single moderator from this forum stepping up to do their job.

Look, I’ll make you a promise right now: from here on out, my corner of this site is going to be strictly black and white, and there will be absolutely no off-topic nonsense allowed. I'm done looking the other way or playing nice. If you break the rules, you get banned. Period. 🙂

Will that finally satisfy you?
reddriver35 reddriver35 Active MemberOP
51 messages
joined Aug 2010
#17 ·
velvettiger10 said:
Look, I promise from here on out, everything will be strictly black and white, and no more off-topic nonsense. No more playing nice or looking the other way. Just straight-up bans. 🙂

Will that satisfy you?

N/A said:
🤦 🤣


That is exactly my point. 👎

Edit: No, it won't satisfy me!! Even if you are the best moderator on this forum, you shouldn't have done this. You completely missed my point. And I didn't expect this from you either. Neither did N/A. 👎

At least you showed up to the thread, if nothing else. 😢
velvettiger10 velvettiger10 Member
41 messages
joined May 2008
#18 ·
reddriver35 said:
See, that is exactly my point. 👎

What exactly is bothering you, Prinčy? 🙂

Try being a little more specific.

What is it about my performance as a moderator that bugs you? Which tasks am I failing to handle properly? I would honestly love to know so I can figure out if this is something I can actually learn and master, or if I should just pack my bags and leave because I'm clearly out of my depth. 🤷
reddriver35 reddriver35 Active MemberOP
51 messages
joined Aug 2010
#19 ·
velvettiger10 said:
What exactly is bothering you, Prinčy? 🙂

Try being a little more specific.

What specifically about my moderation bothers you? What am I failing to do? I’d actually love to know so I can either learn how to fix it or just pack my bags if I'm truly incompetent. 🤷

You're great compared to the rest of them.

If I had one request, it would be for you to jump into discussions a bit more. Just a tiny bit more participation, if you don't mind. 🙂

Take that guy from the story at the beginning, for example. Poor kid was terrified because everyone jumped him, and he ended up shaken up. If you were there, you could have stepped in and redirected the conversation to show that kind of approach isn't okay. Not everyone is outgoing, charming, or bold. Some people are insecure. Try to understand that.
Please, read Nicholas's thread and see what he wrote. In my opinion, the moderator really dropped the ball there.

I reached out to him via PM. He messaged me yesterday with an update. He actually took my advice. He still has questions, too. But with this current atmosphere, he doesn't feel comfortable asking them on the public forum. He should be able to. But I don't have the time to spend all day answering PMs for users who are afraid to post publicly.

People are constantly messaging me privately, which tells me they relate to what's happening. So now, I'm asking the moderators to try and create an environment where everyone feels welcome.
We need actual discussion, not just people attacking someone by calling them a troll, stupid, pathetic, or immature.
The whole point of a forum is to have different people with different viewpoints talking to each other.

Aside from the chaos over at LJES, everyone just echoes each other here. It's impossible to find a dissenting opinion. You're basically rejected by default if you disagree. That prevents high-quality users from engaging in debate. And when that happens, LJES loses its entire purpose.
steelskipper5 steelskipper5 Active Member
176 messages
joined Feb 2010
#20 ·
velvettiger10 said:What exactly is bothering you, Prinčy? 🙂

Try being a little more specific.

What is it about my performance as a moderator that bugs you? Which tasks am I failing to handle properly? I would honestly love to know so I can figure out if this is something I can actually learn and master, or if I should just pack my bags and leave because I'm clearly out of my depth. 🤷

Look, I’ll pivot slightly to LjES and how things are moderated there—which, indirectly, involves you too.
Basically, that thread about why people are repulsed by gay culture or population growth spiraled into nothing but pure insults and hate speech. And this wasn't just a one-off thing; it went on for days.
I was reporting posts. Other people were posting that they had reported stuff, too.
If I bothered to check whether those reported posts actually got sanctioned? They didn't.

I honestly think that discussion died out simply because all the sane people stopped opening threads in the face of that much trolling, insulting, and blatant hate. Personally, I have no intention of ever starting a thread like that again.

Don't get me wrong—I'm not advocating for the kind of aggressive self-censorship that seems to be happening over at Religion (because apparently, according to some puritanical creature there, saying "damn" is a profanity rather than just a figure of speech; seriously, someone needs to teach them what an actual swear word is). But still, certain standards of communication should be maintained. Constantly attacking other users? I mean, that's just beneath any reasonable standard.

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