Started by Michelle Wilson8 · · 👁 14 views · 184 replies
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Michelle Alvarez8 said:Weapon number two: condescending attitudes wrapped in fake empathy.
Just report hollowtrucker77 right now—then we can move straight on to weapons three and four: getting deleted and blacklisted. 😁
Michelle Alvarez8 said:Weapon number two: condescending attitudes wrapped in fake empathy.
Just report hollowtrucker77 right now—then we can move straight on to weapons three and four: getting deleted and blacklisted. 😁
John Hill said:Alright, look, I moved this thread to where it actually belongs. And just to be clear, decisions like this aren't made by Jose White18 alone, or by me, or any single moderator acting on their own. These three specific threads have been a mess for a long time now. Originally, there was just one single discussion about cheating. Then, a few women showed up claiming they didn't fit into that specific conversation, so three separate threads about adultery were opened. We allowed them because we wanted to be accommodating; we thought splitting things up would cut down on the constant bickering by letting people group themselves by interest. Instead, it just created these little cliques that ended up warring with each other. In any other normal situation, when threads get this out of hand—where moderation becomes a nightmare because we're constantly deleting arguments—you’d just lock them down. But because we wanted to cater to the regulars who frequent these topics, we kept putting it off. Eventually, we hit on the idea of moving them to a section of the forum with more relaxed rules, so they can still have their space to hang out. As for ZUD, we might eventually open a new thread regarding infidelity for new people interested in the subject, but this time without all the fragmentation and the clan warfare.
John Hill said:Alright, look, I moved this thread to where it actually belongs. And just to be clear, decisions like this aren't made by Jose White18 alone, or by me, or any single moderator acting on their own. These three specific threads have been a mess for a long time now. Originally, there was just one single discussion about cheating. Then, a few women showed up claiming they didn't fit into that specific conversation, so three separate threads about adultery were opened. We allowed them because we wanted to be accommodating; we thought splitting things up would cut down on the constant bickering by letting people group themselves by interest. Instead, it just created these little cliques that ended up warring with each other. In any other normal situation, when threads get this out of hand—where moderation becomes a nightmare because we're constantly deleting arguments—you’d just lock them down. But because we wanted to cater to the regulars who frequent these topics, we kept putting it off. Eventually, we hit on the idea of moving them to a section of the forum with more relaxed rules, so they can still have their space to hang out. As for ZUD, we might eventually open a new thread regarding infidelity for new people interested in the subject, but this time without all the fragmentation and the clan warfare.
John Hill said:Alright, look, I moved this thread to where it actually belongs. And just to be clear, decisions like this aren't made by Jose White18 alone, or by me, or any single moderator acting on their own. These three specific threads have been a mess for a long time now. Originally, there was just one single discussion about cheating. Then, a few women showed up claiming they didn't fit into that specific conversation, so three separate threads about adultery were opened. We allowed them because we wanted to be accommodating; we thought splitting things up would cut down on the constant bickering by letting people group themselves by interest. Instead, it just created these little cliques that ended up warring with each other. In any other normal situation, when threads get this out of hand—where moderation becomes a nightmare because we're constantly deleting arguments—you’d just lock them down. But because we wanted to cater to the regulars who frequent these topics, we kept putting it off. Eventually, we hit on the idea of moving them to a section of the forum with more relaxed rules, so they can still have their space to hang out. As for ZUD, we might eventually open a new thread regarding infidelity for new people interested in the subject, but this time without all the fragmentation and the clan warfare.
Edward Grant3 said:Three different moderators stepped up to explain why they made this call. And honestly? Every single one of those explanations was weaker than the last.
It turns out the reasoning is that this thread is supposed to be a chat, which—let’s be real—it isn't. Then we hear that moderating three hundred-plus pages felt like too much work, so instead of actually stepping in, you just let things spiral. It feels like you were all just sitting back, crossing your fingers, and hoping the whole thread would just die out on its own—and when it didn't, you hit a snag. So, the "solution" was to move the thread over to the "graveyard" section, even though it’s still very much alive, just in the hopes it might finally expire there.
And now you have the nerve to tell us we're "welcome" here. I mean, seriously... who ever felt truly welcome at a cemetery? 😕
John Hill said:If nobody had said anything, you’d be accusing us of ignoring you. Now that we actually showed up, suddenly everything is wrong again. Look, I get it—for some people, no explanation is ever going to be good enough, but that doesn't make it a valid point.
1. All three of these are chat threads. You can claim otherwise if you really don't know what the definition of a chat is.
2. This wasn't about being lazy. It was about the constant back-and-forth, where the arguments kept jumping from one thread to another between the mistresses and the betrayed.
3. I don't get this idea that we were just sitting around hoping these threads would die out. Why would I, or any moderator, actually care whether a thread lives or dies? 🤷 Whether it's a three-page thread or a 300-page one, it makes no difference to us. Besides, the plan is to reopen a single thread about infidelity—not three separate ones where everyone keeps dragging the fight from one place to another, which was becoming impossible to follow.
4. > isn't some graveyard; it's just a section of the forum where the rules are a bit more relaxed, so the issues from these three specific Topics don't stand out as much.
Zachary Fox2 said:It’s completely justified that three separate threads were opened, and honestly, I think it’s blindingly obvious to everyone why we need three instead of just one!?
Those adulteresses barely spent any time on ZUD before everyone started throwing that same old "it's been happening forever" excuse at them.
What kind of massive, explosive shouting matches are we even talking about here???
Look, not every single disagreement has to be treated like some kind of toxic back-and-forth battle. And honestly, if things actually reach a breaking point, why on earth shouldn't grown adults be allowed to go at it? If a situation has escalated to that level, let people vent and argue it out. It's part of being an adult.
And yeah, look, people have definitely split off into different threads based on what they're talking about, though only a handful of folks actually bothered to jump over to the next Topic... and honestly, even if it was some kind of mass exodus, it’s not like there's a rule against it or anything, so I don't see the big deal.
Or maybe we should just stick to guarding the sheep, making sure they don't wander off and join the neighbor's flock?
Is it really that much to ask? If someone actually takes the time to report a problem on the Topic, can't you guys just take a quick look and see what's going on? It shouldn't be this hard.
Look, if there aren't any complaints rolling in, that just means everything is running smooth, right? It means you can actually sit back and get your moderator duties done in peace without some random person breathing down your neck.
If there really was such a massive wave of reports and complaints flying around about certain dialogues and debates, then why on earth did everyone just suddenly shut up about it? Seriously, if things were hitting that boiling point, you don't just let the whole thing go silent without a single word being said. It makes zero sense.
It’s not even the same thing, you know? We aren't even gathering in the same spot. And honestly, how do you guys even envision this working—just opening up a brand new thread and calling it a day? Like, seriously? How are we supposed to actually carry on a conversation if we have to follow someone else's arbitrary rules and judge everything by their own twisted standards of what makes an adulteress? It's ridiculous.
Honestly, cheated spouses, mistresses, and adulteresses have absolutely no clue what they’re talking about when they start venting about the whole "infidelity" issue. It's like they're all speaking different languages. Instead of just rambling on, they seriously need someone to hand them a specific formula—a set of rules or a playbook—on how they should actually be communicating with one another.
No, I honestly have no clue what they were thinking with that move.
What kind of "intense fighting" are we even talking about here???
Having different opinions isn't the same thing as fighting. And if things actually reach a breaking point, why shouldn't adults be allowed to argue it out?
And yeah, people did split off by topic, but only a handful of individuals were crossing over to the next topic... even if it became a widespread thing, it wasn't banned, and I don't see the issue.
Or what, are we supposed to treat people like sheep that need to be kept from wandering into another flock?
Is it really that hard? If someone reports a problem on a topic, just take a quick look to see what's happening.
If there aren't any reports, then everything is fine, and you can just go about your moderator duties in peace.
If there truly were that many reports and complaints about specific dialogues and debates, why was everything kept quiet?
And no, where we gather matters. How are we supposed to imagine opening a new thread? How are we supposed to run a discussion based on someone else's arbitrary rules and standards of what counts as adultery?
Basically, the cheated, the mistresses, and the adulteresses have no clue what they're talking about when discussing "cheating," so they need to be given a specific formula for how to talk to one another.
Seriously, I just don't get this move.
John Hill said:If nobody had said anything, you’d be accusing us of ignoring you. Now that we actually showed up, suddenly everything is wrong again. Look, I get it—for some people, no explanation is ever going to be good enough, but that doesn't make it a valid point.
1. All three of these are chat threads. You can claim otherwise if you really don't know what the definition of a chat is.
2. This wasn't about being lazy. It was about the constant back-and-forth, where the arguments kept jumping from one thread to another between the mistresses and the betrayed.
3. I don't get this idea that we were just sitting around hoping these threads would die out. Why would I, or any moderator, actually care whether a thread lives or dies? 🤷 Whether it's a three-page thread or a 300-page one, it makes no difference to us. Besides, the plan is to reopen a single thread about infidelity—not three separate ones where everyone keeps dragging the fight from one place to another, which was becoming impossible to follow.
4. > isn't some graveyard; it's just a section of the forum where the rules are a bit more relaxed, so the issues from these three specific Topics don't stand out as much.
It wasn't clear, nor was it allowed, when that issue popped up on ZUD. Especially since the debate kept jumping from one thread to another anyway, so it probably could have just stayed in one place. It started as a thread about cheating, then the mistresses felt attacked and demanded their own space, so they split off because they were complaining too much in the old thread. There were attempts from various sides—both the mistresses and the cheated—to start their own discussions, but that stopped early on.
Maybe we moderators made a mistake by not keeping everything in one single thread from the start.
As long as people stick to the rules, I don't see an issue with them posting in whichever threads they want. But this situation involved threats of lawsuits, private messages demanding we punish someone from one side or the other, and requests for moderators to act as judges in arguments. And if we did moderate, we’d just get accused of favoritism based on who got punished.
There were tons of reports through the icon and via PM. On a forum this size, there isn't really a way for us to notify everyone that these three topics are constantly turning into shouting matches. This forum is just too big for that.
The only rule we expect is no insults, but that was impossible to maintain in those three threads.
Opening one main thread shouldn't be a problem, especially since the conversation was jumping around so much regardless.
John Hill said:It wasn't clear, and honestly, we didn't let even one problematic person on ZUD get away with it. Especially since the whole debate was constantly jumping from one thread to another anyway, so keeping it all in one place would have been easy. First, there was the thread about cheating, then the adulteresses started complaining they were being targeted and demanded their own space. They split up, and some of them opened their own thread because they felt like they were whining too much on the original one. There were attempts from a few other groups—both cheated spouses and adulteresses—to start their own discussions, but we shut that down early on.
If we made a mistake as moderators, it was only because we didn't force everything to stay under one single thread from the jump.What kind of "intense fighting" are we even talking about here???
Having different opinions isn't the same thing as fighting. And if things actually reach a breaking point, why shouldn't adults be allowed to argue it out?
And yeah, people did split off by topic, but only a handful of individuals were crossing over to the next topic... even if it became a widespread thing, it wasn't banned, and I don't see the issue.
Or what, are we supposed to treat people like sheep that need to be kept from wandering into another flock?
As long as everyone follows the rules of conduct, I don't see any problem with people posting in whatever threads they want. But we had threats of lawsuits, people sliding into DMs demanding we punish someone from a certain camp, and requests for moderators to act like judges in every debate. If we actually moderated, we'd just get accused of playing favorites based on who got penalized.Is it really that hard? If someone reports a problem on a topic, just take a quick look to see what's happening.
If there aren't any reports, then everything is fine, and you can just go about your moderator duties in peace.
If there truly were that many reports and complaints about specific dialogues and debates, why was everything kept quiet?
And no, where we gather matters. How are we supposed to imagine opening a new thread? How are we supposed to run a discussion based on someone else's arbitrary rules and standards of what counts as adultery?
Basically, the cheated, the mistresses, and the adulteresses have no clue what they're talking about when discussing "cheating," so they need to be given a specific formula for how to talk to one another.
Seriously, I just don't get this move.
There were tons of reports via the icon and through DMs. On a forum this size, there isn't a way for us to notify every single member saying, "Hey, heads up, there's constant fighting going on in those three threads." This forum is too massive for that.
The only rule we expect is no insults, and that was impossible to maintain across those three threads.
Opening one thread shouldn't have been an issue, since the conversation was migrating between topics regardless.
As long as everyone is playing by the rules and keeping things civil, I honestly don't see any issue with people posting on whatever topics they feel like, right? If we're all following the guidelines, why should it matter which thread someone chooses to jump into?
Honestly, I can't help but feel like this forum is just way too massive for a conversation like this, don't you think? It feels like we're trying to hold a private chat in the middle of a packed football stadium during the Super Bowl, where everyone is shouting at once and nobody is really listening to the nuance of what’s being said. Wouldn't it be much better if we had a smaller, more intimate space to actually unpack these things without the sheer volume of people drowning out the point?
The only real rule we were supposed to follow was to keep things respectful, but honestly, looking back at those three topics, it felt like achieving that was just an impossible task, don't you think?
So, I'm starting up a new thread here, though honestly, I don't see why that should be any kind of issue, right? After all, our conversations have always been drifting from one topic to the next anyway, haven't they?
Jose White18 said:If the ZUD PDF really relies solely on just three threads like you're claiming, then honestly, the whole ZUD might as well collapse along with them. It wouldn't be worth saving. Personally, I don't think it's that dependent, and I doubt it'll actually happen like that. 🙂
No one has had a single post deleted because of this move.
Nobody.
Not one.
hollowtrucker77 said:The threads haven't actually been moved; they aren't locked, they haven't been deleted, and nobody is being stopped from continuing the chat on them
neonsailor58 said:Exactly.
Maybe if you had actually communicated this within the threads themselves—or better yet, before moving them—we wouldn't be seeing such explosive reactions.🤷
Personally, it would have felt somewhat more normal to see the usual bickering over the last few days. Or am I just not reading the room correctly?
Michelle Wilson8 said:Oh, fantastic!
Just keep going right ahead, 🤣
You too!
(selling your soul like that😢, it really doesn't suit you)
neonsailor58 said:Honestly, I have absolutely no clue what they’re trying to get at here. What is the point?
In my estimation, these discussions ought to be filed under ZUD so that the community can actually find their way back to them. That said, there’s absolutely no need to start foaming at the mouth over it. Honestly, I am struggling to wrap my head around some of these reactions. I mean, seriously—if you can let something like this get you this worked up, how on earth do you manage to navigate actual life problems?🤷
It simply isn't worth my effort.
I have said this many times before, and I was certainly not the most popular person for saying it, but I believe this Topic regarding affairs became OFF topic a long time ago. It should be the one place where I would actually step forward first if I ever found myself in a bind. Some people, thank God, did chime in. Especially lately, there have been pages upon pages of absolute nonsense. Honestly, I just couldn't bring myself to read through all that, watching how Zeli ends up in a complete mess.
Actually, because of those particular individuals, it might be better if things reverted back to ZUD. Not that I’m suggesting the current Topic is high quality—not by a long shot—but circumstances dictate a change.
When I open a new thread, whoever feels like posting can certainly do so. As for the moderators, they are right there, performing their duties to the best of their abilities.
If you honestly consider this to be oppression, or some kind of blatant disrespect, or whatever else you want to call it, then I can only assume you’ve lived a life entirely devoid of any actual hardship.🤷
The only real issue I see here is that newcomers are going to have a hell of a time tracking down this thread, especially if the posting frequency starts to taper off. Once the activity dies down, it’ll just vanish into the digital abyss. Beyond that, I don't see any other problems. As for myself, I can't quite tell if I've gone too far OFF topic, or if I'm being low-brow, or whatever else you all might say. Honestly, I've lost track of where I even stand.
I think I've said enough about this matter. We're done here. It was amusing for a moment, I suppose, but now it’s simply grating on my nerves. Consider this discussion closed.
neonsailor58 said:Honestly, I have absolutely no clue what they’re trying to get at here. What is the point?
In my estimation, these discussions ought to be filed under ZUD so that the community can actually find their way back to them. That said, there’s absolutely no need to start foaming at the mouth over it. Honestly, I am struggling to wrap my head around some of these reactions. I mean, seriously—if you can let something like this get you this worked up, how on earth do you manage to navigate actual life problems?🤷
It simply isn't worth my effort.
I have said this many times before, and I was certainly not the most popular person for saying it, but I believe this Topic regarding affairs became OFF topic a long time ago. It should be the one place where I would actually step forward first if I ever found myself in a bind. Some people, thank God, did chime in. Especially lately, there have been pages upon pages of absolute nonsense. Honestly, I just couldn't bring myself to read through all that, watching how Zeli ends up in a complete mess.
Actually, because of those particular individuals, it might be better if things reverted back to ZUD. Not that I’m suggesting the current Topic is high quality—not by a long shot—but circumstances dictate a change.
When I open a new thread, whoever feels like posting can certainly do so. As for the moderators, they are right there, performing their duties to the best of their abilities.
If you honestly consider this to be oppression, or some kind of blatant disrespect, or whatever else you want to call it, then I can only assume you’ve lived a life entirely devoid of any actual hardship.🤷
The only real issue I see here is that newcomers are going to have a hell of a time tracking down this thread, especially if the posting frequency starts to taper off. Once the activity dies down, it’ll just vanish into the digital abyss. Beyond that, I don't see any other problems. As for myself, I can't quite tell if I've gone too far OFF topic, or if I'm being low-brow, or whatever else you all might say. Honestly, I've lost track of where I even stand.
I think I've said enough about this matter. We're done here. It was amusing for a moment, I suppose, but now it’s simply grating on my nerves. Consider this discussion closed.
All those pages of nonsense were really just an attempt to keep the Topic alive for everyone new coming in, and if you ask me, I don't see anything wrong with the old-timers hanging out and chatting like that. In fact, that whole process was part of our therapy, wasn't it?
If people couldn't even stomach reading that, how on earth are they going to manage when they get to the places where the arguments are actually flying thick and fast?
Do you really think any newcomer is going to step in and truly bare their soul?
Don't you see that the original Topic is basically dead, and we're all just using its name to keep things moving?The only real issue I can see here is that it's going to be incredibly tough for the new folks to actually track down this thread, especially if the posting starts to dry up.
And even if they do manage to find it, do you really think they’ll actually start writing?
Michelle Alvarez8 said:Weapon number two: condescending attitudes wrapped in fake empathy.
Just report hollowtrucker77 right now—then we can move straight on to weapons three and four: getting deleted and blacklisted. 😁
hollowtrucker77 said:Let's just skip ahead to number five and get both of them out of our hair once and for all.
😁
Sophia Gonzalez59 said:A petition for all us forgotten souls to make a comeback.
(two more entries—I've got two places I call home)
Jose White18 said:If the ZUD PDF really relies solely on just three threads like you're claiming, then honestly, the whole ZUD might as well collapse along with them. It wouldn't be worth saving. Personally, I don't think it's that dependent, and I doubt it'll actually happen like that. 🙂
No one has had a single post deleted because of this move.
Nobody.
Not one.
