The beginning of the end for "Life for Two" according to the local shopkeeper

neonsailor58 said:Honestly, I have absolutely no clue what they’re trying to get at here. What is the point?

In my estimation, these discussions ought to be filed under ZUD so that the community can actually find their way back to them. That said, there’s absolutely no need to start foaming at the mouth over it. Honestly, I am struggling to wrap my head around some of these reactions. I mean, seriously—if you can let something like this get you this worked up, how on earth do you manage to navigate actual life problems?🤷

It simply isn't worth my effort.

I have said this many times before, and I was certainly not the most popular person for saying it, but I believe this Topic regarding affairs became OFF topic a long time ago. It should be the one place where I would actually step forward first if I ever found myself in a bind. Some people, thank God, did chime in. Especially lately, there have been pages upon pages of absolute nonsense. Honestly, I just couldn't bring myself to read through all that, watching how Zeli ends up in a complete mess.

Actually, because of those particular individuals, it might be better if things reverted back to ZUD. Not that I’m suggesting the current Topic is high quality—not by a long shot—but circumstances dictate a change.

When I open a new thread, whoever feels like posting can certainly do so. As for the moderators, they are right there, performing their duties to the best of their abilities.

If you honestly consider this to be oppression, or some kind of blatant disrespect, or whatever else you want to call it, then I can only assume you’ve lived a life entirely devoid of any actual hardship.🤷

The only real issue I see here is that newcomers are going to have a hell of a time tracking down this thread, especially if the posting frequency starts to taper off. Once the activity dies down, it’ll just vanish into the digital abyss. Beyond that, I don't see any other problems. As for myself, I can't quite tell if I've gone too far OFF topic, or if I'm being low-brow, or whatever else you all might say. Honestly, I've lost track of where I even stand.

I think I've said enough about this matter. We're done here. It was amusing for a moment, I suppose, but now it’s simply grating on my nerves. Consider this discussion closed.

I won't quote everything, especially since you mentioned you aren't exactly thrilled about this "purge" either. Thanks for laying it out so clearly—you put into words exactly what I was struggling to express. 👍

Michelle Wilson8 said:All those pages of nonsense were really just an attempt to keep the Topic alive for everyone new coming in, and if you ask me, I don't see anything wrong with the old-timers hanging out and chatting like that. In fact, that whole process was part of our therapy, wasn't it?
If people couldn't even stomach reading that, how on earth are they going to manage when they get to the places where the arguments are actually flying thick and fast?
Do you really think any newcomer is going to step in and truly bare their soul?
Don't you see that the original Topic is basically dead, and we're all just using its name to keep things moving?

The only real issue I can see here is that it's going to be incredibly tough for the new folks to actually track down this thread, especially if the posting starts to dry up.

And even if they do manage to find it, do you really think they’ll actually start writing?

So, let me get this straight: you all were just posting nonsense just to keep a thread alive that should have sunk a long time ago? 😵 Thanks for clarifying that even better than I did—you hit the nail on the head regarding why that switch should have happened ages ago. As for you old friends hanging out at your therapy sessions, that’s really not an issue at all. There is absolutely nothing stopping you from continuing to stay close.

stormyraven14 said:I’ve been reading through both sides of this, though I’ve read more of the "mistress" threads from start to finish than anything else. There were plenty of issues—some got sorted out along the way, while others just stayed messy—especially since that whole saga involving Ornelo and all those other interested parties was, well, epic in scale 😁 😁 😁 —I actually used to hop over from another forum just to follow that one. But lately, things have been mostly quiet. On the surface, the moderators' arguments seem to hold water, BUT!
If we keep going like this, every woman dealing with a cheating husband, or any girl who ended up becoming a mistress just because of momentum, is going to head straight to the main sub-forums where these stories actually belong...
Honestly, you guys have just created more work for yourselves without really achieving anything tangible, other than pushing a few "regulars" into corners where they're hard to find. Newcomers will just keep trying to start similar threads. And even if there isn't a deliberate attempt to open a chat topic about this, every single individual issue will probably turn into one eventually, simply because these are GENERAL, FREQUENT problems that clearly many people on this forum deal with.

It just doesn't feel fair.

I’m signing on to keep these topics in the main sub-forums.

Thanks for looking out, but that’s really up to the moderatorit. New users will be starting their own threads to kick things off. Everyone is more than welcome to join the conversation, but there won't be any live chat on those topics for the time being. 🙂

nimbletinker10 said:And me.😁 I'm on board with that too.

It is true that these threads tend to devolve into nothing more than mindless rambling, BUT if you actually take the time to look at them, all three of these sections contain posts that are absolute classics when it comes to the subject of Life for Two.🙂

I have to say, I find Michelle Alvarez8 quite attractive.😍

That’s easily the best euphemism for a chat I've ever heard. 😂 🙏

Zachary Fox2 As specified by:
It’s not even the same thing. We aren't exactly hanging out in the same circles anymore. And honestly, how do you people expect us to just spin up a brand-new thread? How am I supposed to carry on a conversation over there, playing by someone else's rules and measuring adultery by their arbitrary standards?
Honestly, cheated spouses, mistresses, and adulteresses don't have a single clue what they're talking about when they bring up the concept of "infidelity." They’re completely lost. Instead of these endless, aimless debates, what they actually need is a concrete formula—a set of rules on how to actually communicate with one another.
No, I honestly don't get this move at all.

I feel exactly the same way. It’s like my entire crew decided to pack up and move into a brand-new bar. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against a fresh spot with a new vibe, but at the end of the day, a bar is a bar.🙂

John Hill As specified by:
All three of these threads are clearly designated as chat topics. Now, I’m not trying to be condescending here, but if you can't recognize that, perhaps you need to brush up on the basic definition of what a "chat" actually is.

I honestly have no clue what the actual definition of "chat" is here, because I can't tell what distinguishes it from any other topic on this board. I actually reached out to the moderator recently to ask for a clear definition of the chat section, and apparently, someone else even started an entire thread specifically to ask that exact question, yet there hasn't been a single response.

It all started with the discussion on infidelity. Naturally, the adulteresses started throwing a fit, claiming they were being unfairly targeted, so they went ahead and demanded their own dedicated thread.

That simply isn't accurate.
Since I was one of the people who actually spearheaded this new thread, I remember exactly how the conversation unfolded.🙂
Let me refresh your memory here: initially, we had the Mistress threads, followed by the Betrayed. The Adulteresses didn't want to post in those specific discussions because the core issues are fundamentally different—something anyone who has actually navigated various triangles will realize pretty quickly. It wasn't about being aggressive; it was simply a matter of principle. I have no intention of walking into a vegetarian discussion and trying to sell everyone on juicy, fatty steaks.

Well, they finally split up. A few of them decided to start a whole new thread because they were doing nothing but whining and complaining incessantly on the old one.

😕 I must have missed this entirely—when exactly did this happen, and where was it taking place?

But let’s not forget—there was even a threat of legal action involved in all of this.

Alright, I remember this one clearly.🤣

You people seem to think you can just lump infidelity, adultery, and being a mistress all into one messy pile, while treating something like earlobe surgery or liposuction as if they're completely separate issues—like two totally unrelated problems in a marriage. And you're bringing this up on ZUD, because apparently, that’s somehow much more important?

👍

By making this move, if we ignore both our old-timers and the newcomers who are inevitably going to show up with issues related to these three specific topics, you're basically just piling a mountain of extra work on yourselves, and I honestly don't see the point.
There are going to be hundreds of threads started on this subject; the only difference will be whether the mistress is some guy in a relationship, if there are kids involved, if they work together, if the cheating happened over the summer or right now, or if it was a friend versus a coworker—basically, everyone will be arguing about which adulteress belongs to whom, for heaven's sake.
You guys had the perfect setup where all of us could be kept under control within just three threads; sure, things got a little messy sometimes, but I don't see the logic here, because people vent about drama during trips or when posting photos regardless, so what's the big deal?
And it’s especially unfair to the new people, because they won't know the landscape and will end up opening a brand-new thread for every single little issue, and let's be real, almost everything revolves around these core themes anyway.
On our usual threads, we didn't just talk about mistresses, the cheated, and the adulteresses; we talked about everyday life and relationships too, which actually saved you a ton of work by preventing a flood of unnecessary new threads. I just don't get why you're creating problems for yourselves for no reason.
Then there's those of us veterans who have been here for years, people who have built actual friendships and found a corner of the internet that feels tried and true, you know? It's not a problem for me to head over to the OFF topic section—I have nothing but praise for that crew and the moderatorit, and I'm grateful for the warm welcome—but it's not like it's a big deal for me or anyone else. Honestly, I don't care whether I click on ZUD or OFF, it doesn't change anything for me, and I still just don't see the point of this whole gesture.

moderatorit_this is a total joke of a democracy.
The internet and online forums ought to function like ancient Greek agoras, where we can all act as free citizens. Just look at the reactions you've been getting lately; people are still acting completely disconnected from reality.
The constant bickering was a huge issue just a week ago and then it suddenly stopped—don't try to dodge the fact that it happened.
When I browse other sites, all I see is garbage: insults and blatant attacks everywhere. Here, most of us have already worked through things by simply defending our own unique perspectives and views.

Bravo to the ladies across all three threads!!!!!!!! And of course, to the brave men too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

John Hill said:The explanation isn't arrogant or pathetic—it’s just the truth. But hey, if you honestly believe that other threads get away with this much leeway, why don't you show me an example? Show me a thread that stays open this long while having this much constant bickering, which in this case has even bled into three different threads.
To prove my point about what counts as "truth," I could list a whole bunch of threads—take the one about women who don't want to be mothers, for instance. Those discussions were intense and went on for a while, but once they started getting watered down and turned into nothing but petty fighting, they were shut down. That’s exactly what should have happened here. These threads were only left hanging this long because someone was trying to find a softer way to handle it.

PS: I don't get the logic here. Why would you think these topics personally offend any of us when we haven't even deleted or locked them? Look, on the OFF topic section, you can keep talking just like you can on ZUD or pretty much anywhere else on this forum.

John Hill, that’s just not true.
No one is spilling secrets or picking fights from those other two threads, nor is anyone coming over here to start trouble (not since the lady, Impossibila, and the rest of that crowd were removed).
The chat about mistresses serves a purpose on ZUD.
If you actually look closer, you'll see there's always some new girl popping up who needs advice.

John Hill said:If nobody had said anything, you’d be accusing us of ignoring you. Now that we actually showed up, suddenly everything is wrong again. Look, I get it—for some people, no explanation is ever going to be good enough, but that doesn't make it a valid point.

1. All three of these are chat threads. You can claim otherwise if you really don't know what the definition of a chat is.

2. This wasn't about being lazy. It was about the constant back-and-forth, where the arguments kept jumping from one thread to another between the mistresses and the betrayed.

3. I don't get this idea that we were just sitting around hoping these threads would die out. Why would I, or any moderator, actually care whether a thread lives or dies? 🤷 Whether it's a three-page thread or a 300-page one, it makes no difference to us. Besides, the plan is to reopen a single thread about infidelity—not three separate ones where everyone keeps dragging the fight from one place to another, which was becoming impossible to follow.

4. > isn't some graveyard; it's just a section of the forum where the rules are a bit more relaxed, so the issues from these three specific Topics don't stand out as much.

eureka.
So the mistresses were just collateral damage, I suppose?

Once again: shame on you.
Two and a half years of this topic and dozens of women who actually needed support.
All that self-restraint and careful moderation just to avoid arguments, insults, and bans.
And this is the best explanation you can give us?

Pathetic and transparent. 👎👎👎

Look at this. They're just throwing out a pile of "moderator truths" that we aren't buying—mostly because they assume we’re too dim to grasp them. All three of us are part of these threads, so where exactly is the issue? This isn't about one specific person, hey!

This actually gave me a good laugh because this is supposed to be the complaint book.
You’d almost think there’s an actual owner reading this stuff. And if they were reading quickly, they’d probably act on it—after all, the buyer is always right, provided they aren't making a mess in the store and keeping the revenue flowing. Meanwhile, we're just burning up server space that’s meant to be leased out for advertising.
Moderatorit, you haven't forgotten, have you?

Signing off on keeping these threads in their original sub-forums.

Just adding my two cents here—let's move this
Topic back to where it actually belongs.

I’m personally casting my vote to have the original threads reinstated. To be clear, I am neither an adulteress nor a jilted partner—hopefully 🤔—nor am I a mistress, but I always enjoyed dropping by certain topics to read through the advice. Back when we were moved over to DiK on the US site, I actually posted in the "Just broke up with my boyfriend" thread. At the time, new people would join in to poke fun at us, or someone who had just gone through a breakup would show up looking for a bit of levity, only to find they couldn't locate the discussion on the US site anymore. It seems rather foolish to relegate such topics to OFF topic; I don't see how moving them there will stop the constant back-and-forth arguments from happening anyway. Or is that simply no longer a priority?

Maybe I just don't know how to read people—or maybe I’ve always been looking at the wrong moment... but I have never once seen a slaughterhouse for the betrayed or the mistress... I actually found myself wondering if it ever truly comes to that... I check the mistress threads... they're all peaceful, recounting how much and how often they're having sex, even bragging about being with their husbands just last night... then I check the cheated threads... they're just mourning in peace... mostly, I'm voting to bring it back... or at least some topic regarding... Life for Three or Four😍

Jose White18 said:I won't quote everything, especially since you mentioned you aren't exactly thrilled about this "purge" either. Thanks for laying it out so clearly—you put into words exactly what I was struggling to express. 👍

So, let me get this straight: you all were just posting nonsense just to keep a thread alive that should have sunk a long time ago? 😵 Thanks for clarifying that even better than I did—you hit the nail on the head regarding why that switch should have happened ages ago. As for you old friends hanging out at your therapy sessions, that’s really not an issue at all. There is absolutely nothing stopping you from continuing to stay close.

Thanks for looking out, but that’s really up to the moderatorit. New users will be starting their own threads to kick things off. Everyone is more than welcome to join the conversation, but there won't be any live chat on those topics for the time being. 🙂

That’s easily the best euphemism for a chat I've ever heard. 😂 🙏
That whole grasping at straws thing doesn't really hold water with me anyway, but honestly, can you seriously not see the irony here?

Besides, why did the Topic even need to be shut down?
Give me one logical reason, if you can manage it.
And if you can't... 😍

Are we here for the forum, or is the forum here for us?😕

but there won't be any chatting on those threads for the foreseeable future. 🙂

Can I get just one sensible argument?

The problem, quite frankly, is that there isn't a solution.

Then again, maybe there isn't even a problem to begin with. 🙂

First off, all three threads have essentially devolved into nothing more than a group chat. They’ve taken on every single hallmark of casual chatting. In that sense—while they might seem like a refuge for those dealing with infidelity or being a mistress—they actually act as a barrier, because newcomers walk right into a room full of established regulars, and it becomes painfully obvious to them.

Secondly, if we were to implement consistent moderation, it would mean nuking a massive chunk of those pages and posts, which would just trigger another mountain of backlash.

Thirdly, a total lack of moderation would cause an equally large pile of frustration—I mean, how many times can one read that mindless, useless nonsense like "girls, squeeze the triangle"? (Nanny, please, not that triangle 🤣).

Fourthly, bringing up some supposed "ruin of Life for Two" is just hyperbolic and honestly ridiculous.

And just when the general readership—meaning, the three of you who actually made it to this sentence 🙂—thinks I’m actually endorsing this decision, here comes the twist:

I simply don't see the benefit of this move. What exactly is supposed to change overnight? What new, good, or beautiful thing is going to start happening from today onward? Is there some technical necessity behind this, or is it just some rushed attempt at "thread cleanliness" within the PDFs (sic!)?

So, looking at the pure cost/benefit analysis, this move is clearly wrong: there's no gain to be had, yet there are plenty of losses. I suspect that, while likely acting in good faith, you've made a mistake. Regardless of how dramatic the reactions are—people crying "it's the end of the world as we know it"—and regardless of how much those three topics have become stagnant and uninteresting due to a monopoly of voices, just let people have their fun.

They’ve completely tangled themselves up in their own web. Honestly, none of their excuses hold any water; their only move left is to sweep this whole mess under the rug before the higher-ups notice the massive screw-up they've made.
They’re playing it the classic American way.😛Just hush—give it some time and they'll cool off. Let the sheep bleat all they want.
It’s just driving me crazy because I see it happening everywhere I look.

Lord, you’ve shed some serious light on this issue with your deep insights, and I truly appreciate it.

Nicholas King said:The problem, quite frankly, is that there isn't a solution.

Then again, maybe there isn't even a problem to begin with. 🙂

First off, all three threads have essentially devolved into nothing more than a group chat. They’ve taken on every single hallmark of casual chatting. In that sense—while they might seem like a refuge for those dealing with infidelity or being a mistress—they actually act as a barrier, because newcomers walk right into a room full of established regulars, and it becomes painfully obvious to them.

Secondly, if we were to implement consistent moderation, it would mean nuking a massive chunk of those pages and posts, which would just trigger another mountain of backlash.

Thirdly, a total lack of moderation would cause an equally large pile of frustration—I mean, how many times can one read that mindless, useless nonsense like "girls, squeeze the triangle"? (Nanny, please, not that triangle 🤣).

Fourthly, bringing up some supposed "ruin of Life for Two" is just hyperbolic and honestly ridiculous.

And just when the general readership—meaning, the three of you who actually made it to this sentence 🙂—thinks I’m actually endorsing this decision, here comes the twist:

I simply don't see the benefit of this move. What exactly is supposed to change overnight? What new, good, or beautiful thing is going to start happening from today onward? Is there some technical necessity behind this, or is it just some rushed attempt at "thread cleanliness" within the PDFs (sic!)?

So, looking at the pure cost/benefit analysis, this move is clearly wrong: there's no gain to be had, yet there are plenty of losses. I suspect that, while likely acting in good faith, you've made a mistake. Regardless of how dramatic the reactions are—people crying "it's the end of the world as we know it"—and regardless of how much those three topics have become stagnant and uninteresting due to a monopoly of voices, just let people have their fun.

Well, first of all, you're spot on there, but that whole mistress hall thread turned into a lounge room the very second the moderators themselves decided to rename it from "Hey mistresses, where are you guys?" to "Hello mistress triangle chat topic"

I mean, sure, you jump in, crack a few jokes here and there, but honestly? I still don't see the point in any of this.

In barely ten hours, we've already managed to rack up a pretty decent pile of posts and an honestly impressive amount of views.
Should we just make ourselves at home here? 😍
Is this some kind of uniquely American style of privatization? 🤣
I can't help but feel like our messages, our wishes, and all these comments actually fit much better within our own specific themes...😂

Anthony Howard33 said:Well, first of all, you're spot on there, but that whole mistress hall thread turned into a lounge room the very second the moderators themselves decided to rename it from "Hey mistresses, where are you guys?" to "Hello mistress triangle chat topic"

I mean, sure, you jump in, crack a few jokes here and there, but honestly? I still don't see the point in any of this.

I had a feeling—though perhaps I should have been more certain—that only three people would actually make it through to the final sentence of my post. 🙂

Michelle Wilson8 said:In barely ten hours, we've already managed to rack up a pretty decent pile of posts and an honestly impressive amount of views.
Should we just make ourselves at home here? 😍
Is this some kind of uniquely American style of privatization? 🤣
I can't help but feel like our messages, our wishes, and all these comments actually fit much better within our own specific themes...😂

Well, I suppose we have the terrible TV program to thank for that. 🤣