And just like that, freshman year is over...

To those who sent kind words of comfort following the sudden decline—I was ready for this. It stung a bit how abruptly everything took a turn without warning, but I wasn't caught off guard.

The moment I decided to take responsibility for this man's care, I committed to understanding every facet of his illness: the progression, the fluctuations, the treatment protocols.

At least twice a month, I meet face-to-face with his attending psychiatrist, and I make it a point to call the on-call physician every few days.

It is infuriating that my family—specifically my parents—feel entitled to judge the effectiveness of his treatment when, over the last year, they have shown up to a single consultation with his psychiatrist, and even then, only after I practically forced them.

They are completely ignorant of the reality of his condition. When my parents visit him at the hospital, my mother will "tidy up" his wardrobe, which triggers a crisis two days later because he becomes convinced someone stole his belongings. They see him sitting there, head bowed and rigid, and they have the audacity to casually ask, "Are you still hearing those voices?" while they're walking out the door.

Honestly, I’ve been on the verge of banning them from visiting ten times already.😈

Kenneth Hernandez67 said:It really is Teshko for me, and honestly, it’s easier when I read a supportive word here, because in my actual life, I have zero support from anyone.

You people have no idea what kind of obstacles you run into when you're trying to help someone like that.

😢

Kenneth Hernandez67, you’ve broken through a barrier—a massive wall of family privacy. Get this: even the people who want to support you get intimidated. At the end of the day, it's FAMILY.

On top of all that—everything I do—I'm working in a country where seeing a psychologist is still treated like a taboo subject. 🙄

Believe me—nobody would blame you if you just threw in the towel... 😢

But I can see you're a fighter.🙂 You've started an avalanche, but just remember: you're doing this for his own good. 🙂

It’s honestly soul-crushing when you have someone in the family struggling with mental illness... I know the feeling all too well personally. You just know they’re never going to be fully independent, and they'll always end up leaning on someone else for everything. And I'm talking about one specific kid here, not just being dramatic...
I mean, what can I even say? Just hang in there and stay strong...

Is he doing even worse now than when you first "took charge" of the situation?

Sending you some major good vibes so you can crush this once and for all🙂

hey Kenneth Hernandez67, look, things can't possibly get any worse than they were at the start, and besides, everything is in good hands now.

seriously though, if anyone here actually knows what living with bipolar disorder looks like in the real world—not the textbook version, but the actual reality—please, tell me... sometimes I just don't know how to act around F. It feels like she’s constantly spinning these totally unrealistic ideas in her head, and I’m stuck wondering if it’s just the illness talking, or if she’s just kind of... escaping reality because her parents are way too overprotective? If it's the latter, it feels super hypocritical of me to just sit back and pretend everything is fine... I usually end up taking this middle-ground approach where I'll mention that I’d probably see things differently in her shoes—usually being a bit more self-critical, you know?—but I still leave room for the possibility that she might actually be right. Then again, if it’s just an inseparable part of the condition, the last thing I want to do is make things harder for her...

but honestly, the most important thing about my friendship with her is that she is genuinely a wonderful person—super smart and probably has the purest heart on the planet... we weren't even that close when she first got sick, like, we weren't best friends or anything... we've grown closer over time, but I still have all these lingering questions that she just can't seem to answer... anyway, I love hanging out with her.

Kenneth Hernandez67, hang in there—this is just one more temporary crisis that’s bound to blow over soon.
Sending my best to you and your uncle! 🙂

I visited him today...

His sister warned me not to be shocked since he's on an IV drip... he hasn't eaten a single thing in two days. She said she’d bring something over, hoping I could somehow talk him into eating while I was there.

When I walked into the room, seeing him lying there in that bed looking so small and helpless... it just broke my heart.😢

Teshko is talking, but it's mostly unintelligible and incredibly quiet.

I asked him how he was doing, and he just told me he feels a bit sick.
I tried to offer some comfort, talking about how spring is here, how maybe he just overexerted himself or got worn out, and how none of us really handle these seasonal shifts very well...

And then it just started... this torrent of disconnected sentences, concepts, thoughts, and ideas. It was a complete mess of time and space—a chaotic blur of actual events mixed with his own delusions. He kept bringing up people I've never heard of, long-dead figures, the founding of the United States, bits of Asterix comics, plastic cowboys and Indians, proceedings in Congress, even a man on the Moon...

I honestly thought my head was going to explode... and what on earth is happening inside his mind? It's absolutely devastating...

His sister disconnected the IV and brought in a plate with some warm bread and Nutella.

He just kept talking and talking and talking, barely even realizing he had eaten two slices of bread that I was feeding him piece by piece... well, at least it's something.

At one point, his roommate actually stood up from his bed and told him not to be mad, but that he had to leave because he couldn't listen to it anymore...

Imagine what we would have done without you😢
Kudos to Kenneth Hernandez67 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏

Hey, 🙂, things are gonna turn around soon, I swear. You'll see! 🙂

Kenneth Hernandez67, do you even realize what a miracle it is that he’s recovered this much, especially considering he didn't get the proper treatment he needed for years? Honestly, his condition isn't even close to how bad it was when he first arrived at the hospital...
I mean, give it some time—you'll be back here posting about how great things are at work and how much he's enjoying his books again 😁

You're wonderful, Kenneth Hernandez67. Sending huge greetings to you and Barbie 😘 😘

Kenneth Hernandez67, you're such a kind and wonderful woman. I guess your uncle is really lucky to have you in his life. Hang in there, and just keep being there for him.

Junior just messaged me to say the envelope arrived—it's the summons for the custody hearing. Looks like the final one. Scheduled for May 11th.

Well, I suppose it's good news, at least... felt like I should share it with you all 😍

Hang in there, Kenneth Hernandez67... I truly, deeply hope things take a turn for the better!

He seemed a bit better before... or maybe he just wasn't talking as much. 🙄

Kazhe says he ate, and I double-checked with the nurse; she confirmed it. 👍

I went to the hospital with my father... I'm at a loss for what to do. Even the nurse mentioned that he seems to decline every single time my dad visits him. I asked her for advice, if I should stop them from being alone together... she said she isn't qualified to give me a directive, but she thinks it might be better until this crisis passes.

We got into a massive, blood-boiling argument on the way back... he told me that Barb needs to get out of there immediately because he feels worse when she's around than when he's by himself.

Doctor's report excerpt:

...the illness follows a chronic, progressive, and irreversible course, characterized by dominant symptoms and lesions within the emotional, volitional, and impulsive layers of the personality...

Clinical presentation includes psychomotor inhibition, being overwhelmed, anxious, terrified, abulic, hypomimic, and hypodynamic; verbal communication requires assistance, lacking spontaneity...

Delusional paranoid ideas which the patient attempts to dissimulate, alongside auditory hallucinations of a distressing nature...

I'm devastated... reading this report for the third time now...

Dreams. From the weekend. From life. From everything.

Kenneth Hernandez67👍
Maybe you should honestly consider cutting back on those visits if they aren't just bothering him, but are actually draining you too, don't you think?

Sending you a huge hug and a kiss...

It isn’t easy, dear, trying to hold onto someone who just wants to run away—especially when they’ve started fleeing toward all the wrong things. It’s a tragedy, really.

I don't have any advice for you. I don't even have a clever message or some profound bit of wisdom to offer, because honestly? It wouldn't matter. At the end of the day, it’s just you and him, navigating the mess of your combined wills, trying to build days that are either slightly better or slightly worse.

But when things get this bad, how can anyone just smile through it or "stay strong"?

I just wanted you to know I’m reading your posts. I'm sending you some imaginary comfort, sent from the heart. Hang in there.

I honestly don't even know how to find something positive or comforting to say here... Watching this whole disease progress so closely has kept me at a distance from this thread for a long time, but yeah, life really does write its own twisted novels...
See, someone in my inner circle—someone incredibly dear to me—is dealing with a similar diagnosis... For her, it all started back during puberty... A fractured family, a pretty unstable home life, basically having to grow up being raised by her grandmother; she spent her childhood and teen years bouncing between other people's houses because her grandmother’s illness (and eventually her death) completely destabilized her world...
We eventually took her in, and she worked her tail off to finish school, landing a job at a nursing home where she truly found herself helping the sick... But she also wanted to be someone's partner, to experience love (and man, she is gorgeous!). So she finds her "prince," some guy from a totally destructive, broken home who's completely codependent on his mother, lives a lazy lifestyle, and relies on a revolving door of "friends"... Her dream comes true, she gets married, gets her own place, starts a family, and ends up pregnant, but due to medical contraindications, the pregnancy is terminated, leaving her permanently unable to conceive...
Living in a new, chaotic environment—barely scraping by at first since she was the only one with a steady income—leads to constant clashes with an alcoholic mother-in-law. After years of psychological abuse, things finally boil over into physical violence, and the mother-in-law dies suddenly at her hands. Now, she's stuck in a psychiatric hospital, waiting on a verdict because she killed her husband's mother...
The legal proceedings are wrapping up, and she's moving closer to where she used to live. She still keeps in touch with her husband because he’s been left totally alone and without any income. Even now, he's the only thing on her mind, the only thing she cares about... he's her entire world...
Now, they let her home occasionally (her brother picks her up, and she's already lost her mother), and life just carries on... It isn't exactly great, but he's the only one she has left...
The illness follows her every single second; sometimes she's soaring, and other times she's sinking into the deepest pit imaginable... and we all think it's finally the end, but then like a phoenix, she rises back into the light again... and it goes on like that, and it always will... she's 45 now....
So, yeah, that's why I know exactly how much effort and willpower this takes, and just how much it hurts...

The human psyche is such a strange, winding labyrinth...

Ladies, honestly—what can I even say? All I can tell you is hang in there. Truly, hats off to you all for the sheer effort, the grit, the persistence, and the love you put into this...

Kenneth Hernandez67, if I were in your shoes, I’d actually forbid my parents from coming for visits... it would make things easier for everyone involved. Honestly, they probably don't even grasp the gravity of what he's going through, so it won't hit them too hard—plus, you wouldn't have to deal with their constant lack of understanding...
Grrr, it’s infuriating how people take these kinds of illnesses for granted. In my opinion—and feel free to disagree—dealing with mental health struggles is far more taxing than any physical ailment... 😠

Anyway, sending big greetings to 👋 and 🙂 and I'll keep moving forward with good will...

Kenneth Hernandez67 said:I’m just... devastated. This is the third time I’ve gone over these medical results...

It’s been nothing but nightmares—from this past weekend, from life in general, honestly, from everything.

Don't go making things harder on yourself than they already are.

The weekend needs to be your time to decompress—no matter what—so please, take everything into account and just rest.

You know I've always got your back.

Things are going downhill fast...

The second I showed up at the door and the nurse—who’s been looking at me for a year now—told me she had to ask the attending physician if I was even allowed to visit him, I knew exactly what kind of place this was.

She saw me carrying a bag containing some warm cheese pastries and fruit tea... she told me not to get angry, but insisted I couldn't give them to him without her being there. She said I could stay for a quick minute and then she’d feed him later... and then she dropped the line that he isn't allowed to get out of bed under any circumstances. I was breaking out in a sweat. When I asked her what on earth was wrong with him, all I got was, "The doctor will explain everything," which was useless since I already had an appointment scheduled with him anyway...

His roommate was standing guard at the door, muttering to himself like a broken record, "He's restrained! He's restrained!" over and over again. Just mindless repetition. I didn't truly grasp the gravity of it until I actually laid eyes on him.