Open relationships

Raymond Booth40 said:I really need to understand why he won't commit to anyone. Honestly, being with him just leaves me feeling completely drained; I feel like my brain has been wiped clean and I'm not even the same person anymore.

Look, honey, it’s not that he won't be with anyone else. He just won't be with you.
Face facts. There's nothing more to say about it.

Then they can claim they don't want to be with me specifically, or that they don't want to be with anyone at all—it’s not my fault. I am certain of that. But honestly, I just don't have the mental capacity to get over it right now.

Rachel Richardson said:And then there's me, just repeating the same line over and over...😬

The phrase always goes something like this:

I'm not looking for anything serious (with you😬)

Everyone hits that phase at some point. And predictably, they end up hooking up shortly after. ☕

Same goes for those people claiming they'll end it all over heartbreak, only to be found dead alongside their wife and kids. 🙂

Darth Vader said:I don't believe it until I see the pictures. ☕

Haha, I knew that comment was coming. 😒

I don't post anything inappropriate or provocative, but I definitely am. Take my word for it. I really need someone by my side to help me get back on my feet. It honestly bothers me when you all insist he's lying just because he claims he isn't seeing anyone right now.

Raymond Booth40 said:I don't post anything inappropriate or provocative, but I definitely am. Take my word for it. I really need someone by my side to help me get back on my feet. It honestly bothers me when you all insist he's lying just because he claims he isn't seeing anyone right now.

Just post whatever you feel comfortable with.
Don't focus on the face—focus on the silhouette.
That shouldn't be an issue.

Darth Vader said:Fine. I'll make a note of you for the next sessions. 😬

🙂 romanticist ♡

Raymond Booth40 said:I don't post anything inappropriate or provocative, but I definitely am. Take my word for it. I really need someone by my side to help me get back on my feet. It honestly bothers me when you all insist he's lying just because he claims he isn't seeing anyone right now.

He might not be lying to you; he could just be lying to himself. But it’s pretty obvious he isn't looking to be with you.

I get that it hurts and it's hard to swallow, but what exactly have you been doing for four years? If things were actually great and the only issue was whether he calls you his girlfriend or not... please. Give me a break.

It isn't just me; they aren't interested in anyone else either. It’s always the same excuse—that they just aren't looking for anyone right now. That's what the group above was saying.

Darth Vader said:Well, my username is a bit provocative—you just have to change a single vowel. 😁

And what about the avatar? 🙂
smart girl Quote😁

Raymond Booth40 said:It isn't just me; they aren't interested in anyone else either. It’s always the same excuse—that they just aren't looking for anyone right now. That's what the group above was saying.

You constantly bring up your ex...
He’s getting screwed from the side—do you really think he needs another one?
Maybe it’s time you started giving yourself some credit—or at least, some actual thought.

Raymond Booth40 said:It isn't just me; they aren't interested in anyone else either. It’s always the same excuse—that they just aren't looking for anyone right now. That's what the group above was saying.

Why bring up the higher-ups? Just accept the "no," respect his choice, and move on, man. You aren't going to change his mind, and he isn't going to change his mind.

I just can't wrap my head around the fact that they won't go with anyone else.

I've gone ahead and cleared out three one-day bans for people who couldn't stop spamming, being total trolls, or just drifting way off-topic. Since this is a personal thread, if you guys really feel the need to type away, there's plenty of room in that massive text box right next to the main forum chat topic. I just scrubbed over 70 posts, and honestly, once the next chat starts getting out of hand, I'm pulling the plug and banning the whole thing. Have a good night, y'all 😁

Raymond Booth40 said:I really need to understand why he won't commit to anyone. Honestly, being with him just leaves me feeling completely drained; I feel like my brain has been wiped clean and I'm not even the same person anymore.

That’s because he spent the whole time brainwashing you. Seriously, why did you even get sucked into this kind of relationship with him in the first place?

Raymond Booth40 said:Then they can claim they don't want to be with me specifically, or that they don't want to be with anyone at all—it’s not my fault. I am certain of that. But honestly, I just don't have the mental capacity to get over it right now.

Look, it's rare for any guy or girl not to start looking elsewhere after four years. Just grit your teeth and cut him loose. If you keep dragging this out, you're going to feel a hundred times worse three years from now than you do today.

Rachel Richardson said:Just post whatever you feel comfortable with.
Don't focus on the face—focus on the silhouette.
That shouldn't be an issue.

Given everything being said here, this isn't off-topic, so let me weigh in. Don't you post on this forum all the time about how happily married you are with two or three little kids? Aren't you embarrassed to be giving advice like this to a girl whose self-esteem is completely trashed? With a real life like yours, what, are you waiting for her to come home to a welcoming committee from Chicago? Real constructive advice there, truly.🙂

.

It wasn't always like this. At first, things felt much more like a committed relationship. Then, overnight, he just completely flipped the script and started acting like he was just casually dating someone... before, he actually treated me like we were together.

Sean Kern2 said:That’s because he spent the whole time brainwashing you. Seriously, why did you even get sucked into this kind of relationship with him in the first place?

Look, it's rare for any guy or girl not to start looking elsewhere after four years. Just grit your teeth and cut him loose. If you keep dragging this out, you're going to feel a hundred times worse three years from now than you do today.

Given everything being said here, this isn't off-topic, so let me weigh in. Don't you post on this forum all the time about how happily married you are with two or three little kids? Aren't you embarrassed to be giving advice like this to a girl whose self-esteem is completely trashed? With a real life like yours, what, are you waiting for her to come home to a welcoming committee from Chicago? Real constructive advice there, truly.🙂

Ugh, he's honestly gross. I can see it now—creeping up on every woman like, "Hehe, oh stop, I'm a married man, why are you being so difficult?"

OT, just cut him loose. If you want different things, just walk away. I know it sucks, but it’s way better for your mental health. For whatever reason, he only sees you as a hookup.

Raymond Booth40 said:On top of all that, there's an 80 percent chance they're dealing with narcissistic personality disorder, based on how they act.

Why 80%? Why isn't it a flat 100%?

Raymond Booth40 said:It wasn't always like this. At first, things felt much more like a committed relationship. Then, overnight, he just completely flipped the script and started acting like he was just casually dating someone... before, he actually treated me like we were together.

Every relationship operates within certain boundaries—it's what defines its structure.
Don't you think this one crossed those lines a long time ago?
The bottom line here is that you need to take action; honestly, you should have done it a while back...

Raymond Booth40 said:It wasn't always like this. At first, things felt much more like a committed relationship. Then, overnight, he just completely flipped the script and started acting like he was just casually dating someone... before, he actually treated me like we were together.

This is basically a case study for a therapist. I don't get why he's still taking advantage of this poor girl—he clearly sees how much she's struggling right now.

Raymond Booth40 said:I’ve been in an open relationship—more like "friends with benefits"—with my partner for nearly four years now. I can't imagine walking away from this, but I have to wonder if there's any hope for things to change. He has told me repeatedly that he has zero interest in a committed relationship with anyone. To give some context, I spent five years on my own after leaving my previous partner, who ended up having a child with someone else. Now, my current partner tells me straight to my face that he doesn't care about the arrangement; he’s perfectly happy doing whatever he wants, and when I asked if it would stay this way forever, he said yes. It feels devastating to think this is all it will ever be. Is there actually anything that can be done here? Honestly, I feel a bit ashamed that I've allowed this to drag on for so long. It’s a sad situation, truly. While I wouldn't say I'm deeply attached, I find myself unable to walk away entirely. When I confronted him about it, he just gave me a Quote: "I'm fine like this. I don't want a relationship with anyone, period."

You clearly lack enough self-respect, and it's no surprise some jerk who's way older than you decided to take advantage of that.
But look, it's already been four years, and there isn't even a tiny hint that he’s going to change, fall in love with you, or take you seriously.

He literally told you to your face, too. 🤷

It is never too late to bail on a bad situation. Period. You need to grow a backbone and decide you aren't going to let yourself get played anymore.

As for that pregnancy thing... 😵
Don't you dare go through with that.

Because trust me, you won't achieve anything by doing that.
Based on that "idea" of yours, I'm starting to hope you're just trolling.

Quincy Jones

Raymond Booth40 said:So what’s my issue here? He’s just as much to blame. If I were a man and he knew that, I wouldn't be hanging out with someone who wants to be with me when I don't feel the same way about him. He'd find someone else instead.

The issue is with you. You’re an adult. You are responsible for your own actions.

So you want a man to take responsibility for you? Then you don't deserve anything better.
Quincy Jones

Sean Kern2 said:Can someone please point out where I actually called her an angel? You don't need to be some NASA rocket scientist to see the girl is just incredibly naive. Besides, I’m not about to go out of my way to kick someone while they're down, regardless of gender—I've got at least a little bit of class left.😉

The real issue is that she's been tied to this guy since she was twenty-one, and he's spent four years conditioning her through sex. You want to talk about that?🙂

The problem is definitely that self-proclaimed predator; everything we're reading from her perspective is just the aftermath of being with him.

Quincy Jones

jadetinker85 said:This is basically a case study for a therapist. I don't get why he's still taking advantage of this poor girl—he clearly sees how much she's struggling right now.

Quincy Jones

George Ramos13 said:You clearly lack enough self-respect, and it's no surprise some jerk who's way older than you decided to take advantage of that.
But look, it's already been four years, and there isn't even a tiny hint that he’s going to change, fall in love with you, or take you seriously.

He literally told you to your face, too. 🤷

It is never too late to bail on a bad situation. Period. You need to grow a backbone and decide you aren't going to let yourself get played anymore.

As for that pregnancy thing... 😵
Don't you dare go through with that.

Because trust me, you won't achieve anything by doing that.
Based on that "idea" of yours, I'm starting to hope you're just trolling.

Quincy Jones

Raymond Fisher98 said:Ugh, he's honestly gross. I can see it now—creeping up on every woman like, "Hehe, oh stop, I'm a married man, why are you being so difficult?"

OT, just cut him loose. If you want different things, just walk away. I know it sucks, but it’s way better for your mental health. For whatever reason, he only sees you as a hookup.

Yeah. Exactly. ☕When a woman is a bit underwhelmed, yet it’s really just a matter of two adults reaching an agreement, the logical conclusion is that the man is some kind of selfish predator, an exploiter, a total scumbag, and a disgusting human being. Typical. 😵.

That’s all it takes to spark a feminist uprising. Just hint that some guy got laid for free without even trying. 😁.