Open relationships

Kate James14 said:Quincy Jones

The issue is with you. You’re an adult. You are responsible for your own actions.

So you want a man to take responsibility for you? Then you don't deserve anything better.
Quincy Jones

Quincy Jones

Quincy Jones

Quincy Jones

Yeah. Exactly. ☕When a woman is a bit underwhelmed, yet it’s really just a matter of two adults reaching an agreement, the logical conclusion is that the man is some kind of selfish predator, an exploiter, a total scumbag, and a disgusting human being. Typical. 😵.

That’s all it takes to spark a feminist uprising. Just hint that some guy got laid for free without even trying. 😁.

Yeah, true. You can't exploit people like that; it isn't ethical. Find someone on your level and just exploit each other mutually.

jadetinker85 said:Yeah, true. You can't exploit people like that; it isn't ethical. Find someone on your level and just exploit each other mutually.

This isn't about ethics. It's just that typical gut reaction women have when they hear something that doesn't fit their narrative.☕.

Kate James14 said:Quincy Jones

The issue is with you. You’re an adult. You are responsible for your own actions.

So you want a man to take responsibility for you? Then you don't deserve anything better.
Quincy Jones

Quincy Jones

Quincy Jones

Quincy Jones

Yeah. Exactly. ☕When a woman is a bit underwhelmed, yet it’s really just a matter of two adults reaching an agreement, the logical conclusion is that the man is some kind of selfish predator, an exploiter, a total scumbag, and a disgusting human being. Typical. 😵.

That’s all it takes to spark a feminist uprising. Just hint that some guy got laid for free without even trying. 😁.

Can you actually, ever, just once, answer a question without bringing up some imaginary male discrimination?
It’s pretty obvious you can’t, because every single one of your damn posts feels like a direct outlet for your own frustrations and projections.

Look, I know myself, and while I can't speak for every woman you've quoted, I'm betting they’d all say the exact same thing if the situation involved some naive, young, insecure kid being played by someone more dominant and experienced—regardless of whether that person was a man or a woman.

But I guess that's something you'll never wrap your head around, since you're always letting your own complexes drive everything you say about gender dynamics.

If you actually thought we were saying stuff like, "Oh honey, he's not worth it, go smash his car lol" or "Just sabotage his birth control so he can't leave, haha," then you totally missed the point. We weren't being petty; we were just pointing out the obvious—that this guy is straight-up using her, and she’s just sitting there baffled because she can't read his blatant red flags.

But hey, I guess you interpreted it as us launching a full-scale assault on the entire male gender, didn't you?🤣

Seriously though... I don't think anyone in this entire thread has said a single nasty thing about the guy.
Look, he might have some issues, but that's not really the point. What matters is that he’s just not looking to settle down—at least not with the OP—and honestly, that's totally fair.

I’m not looking for anyone else besides myself

Raymond Fisher98 said:Seriously though... I don't think anyone in this entire thread has said a single nasty thing about the guy.
Look, he might have some issues, but that's not really the point. What matters is that he’s just not looking to settle down—at least not with the OP—and honestly, that's totally fair.

I didn't think anything bad about him until I realized what was actually happening. He’s just exploiting someone who is clearly in a vulnerable position, especially given her mental health struggles.

He’s honestly giving me mental fatigue

Raymond Booth40 said:He’s honestly giving me mental fatigue

Then just cut him loose, man!

Raymond Booth40 said:He’s honestly giving me mental fatigue

Look, once you start getting tangled up in messes with people like this—especially when you've already been dropping those red-flag comments—there's a pretty good chance those mental struggles were already there. This whole relationship isn't the cause; it's just the fallout.

I stumbled upon this Quincy lately, and it immediately made me think of the author and this whole discussion.
A great way to test an emotional connection is seeing how someone reacts when you say "No." Love respects a "No," while control just ignores it.
— Henry Ford

If you’re struggling mentally, it might be because you're trying to force control over things you can't. You have to accept the situation as it is and just move on.

George Ramos13 said:Can you actually, ever, just once, answer a question without bringing up some imaginary male discrimination?
It’s pretty obvious you can’t, because every single one of your damn posts feels like a direct outlet for your own frustrations and projections.

Look, I know myself, and while I can't speak for every woman you've quoted, I'm betting they’d all say the exact same thing if the situation involved some naive, young, insecure kid being played by someone more dominant and experienced—regardless of whether that person was a man or a woman.

But I guess that's something you'll never wrap your head around, since you're always letting your own complexes drive everything you say about gender dynamics.

No ☕. He’s just a pathetic crybaby who needs to grow a pair and walk away from a lunatic. That’s what "they" would say, at least based on my observations here. You could say the same about the author. In reality, it’s mostly just silent resentment.

George Ramos13 said:If you actually thought we were saying stuff like, "Oh honey, he's not worth it, go smash his car lol" or "Just sabotage his birth control so he can't leave, haha," then you totally missed the point. We weren't being petty; we were just pointing out the obvious—that this guy is straight-up using her, and she’s just sitting there baffled because she can't read his blatant red flags.

But hey, I guess you interpreted it as us launching a full-scale assault on the entire male gender, didn't you?🤣

There is that possibility 🕺. But people always jump in before me. So what if someone takes issue with it? "Bugs Bunny, what are you going to do about it? This is just my opinion 🙂." Maybe an ad hominem attack flies my way.

So what? Am I not allowed to speak like that? Fine, if you say so 🙂.

Look, I get it. It's in your interest to bark when something bothers you, because people react more to women's problems. I think it's instinctual. You identify with her. Maybe you've lived through it too. Naturally, the narrative will be biased.

Kate James14 said:No ☕. He’s just a pathetic crybaby who needs to grow a pair and walk away from a lunatic. That’s what "they" would say, at least based on my observations here. You could say the same about the author. In reality, it’s mostly just silent resentment.

There is that possibility 🕺. But people always jump in before me. So what if someone takes issue with it? "Bugs Bunny, what are you going to do about it? This is just my opinion 🙂." Maybe an ad hominem attack flies my way.

So what? Am I not allowed to speak like that? Fine, if you say so 🙂.

Look, I get it. It's in your interest to bark when something bothers you, because people react more to women's problems. I think it's instinctual. You identify with her. Maybe you've lived through it too. Naturally, the narrative will be biased.

Like I said, you wouldn't get it because every single one of your "serious" posts is just a massive vent for your deep-seated issues with women. Case closed.

Go ahead, have another little cry.

Raymond Booth40 said:I’m not looking for anyone else besides myself

Look, that attitude is going to hit a wall the second someone comes along who actually makes you lose your cool. You can sit there and wait for that inevitable moment when she realizes your worth, thanks you for being there, and then walks out the door—or you can be smart and cut ties now. Find a guy who actually gives a damn about you, and who you actually give a damn about. It’s simple math.

Honestly, the US isn't really the vibe for open relationships... around here, people usually just think "open" means two people hooking up while one person is secretly hoping for a real commitment.

A true open relationship is when there are actually multiple people involved and both partners are totally on board with it... you definitely need a bit of life experience to pull that off without everything blowing up in your face.

There is simply no way he can fall in love when he’s a true narcissist. He fell for me too, and look how that turned out. Now he claims he isn't interested in anyone else at all.

Raymond Booth40 said:There is simply no way he can fall in love when he’s a true narcissist. He fell for me too, and look how that turned out. Now he claims he isn't interested in anyone else at all.

Do us a favor and show this thread to the guy. It would be great if he weighed in himself. Then we can give you some advice and start bugging him until he realizes he needs to be with you. ☕ 😉

Raymond Booth40 said:There is simply no way he can fall in love when he’s a true narcissist. He fell for me too, and look how that turned out. Now he claims he isn't interested in anyone else at all.

Whoa, you are seriously tripping right now...
My advice? Maybe try finally listening to what he actually told you. And honestly, listen to most people on this thread, too. He isn't going to be with you, he isn't going to marry you, and he's perfectly fine staying single until he's 40. He doesn't want marriage, kids, or a white picket fence. You’re so hyper-focused on this "relationship" of yours that you're completely missing the obvious—he doesn't want to be with you in the way you clearly want him to be. It's take it or leave it. Otherwise, you might just find yourself waiting until you're 40, praying that he suddenly decides to make things official just because he's getting older.

Raymond Booth40 said:There is simply no way he can fall in love when he’s a true narcissist. He fell for me too, and look how that turned out. Now he claims he isn't interested in anyone else at all.

And that’s the bottom line.
Pack your bags and get out of there.
The man is telling you straight to your face that he doesn't want a relationship and he doesn't want any responsibilities. Why would you keep looking for hidden meanings in his words?
Stop obsessing over him and what he isn't willing to give, and instead, start focusing on yourself and what you actually want out of life.

So, he’s turning forty soon, and she’s just there worrying that he’ll end up all alone and miserable ☕ 😬