Open relationships

Peter Diaz3 said:If we are being honest here, how many truly impressive men actually exist in their 40s? Looking at the hundred parents dropping kids off at soccer practice, I’d be lucky to pick out five men in that age bracket who actually earn the title of "a catch." Everyone else seems small, lethargic, neglected, with crumbs stuck to their shirts and nothing but a spare tire around their waist.

What defines an impressive man? It’s someone standing well over 6'3", hitting the gym at least three times a week, watching what he eats, and possessing actual style. He should hold a position of influence, possess charm and intellect, always smell great, drive a quality car, and have a perfect smile. In your 40s, those types make up maybe 1% of the population. And believe me, those men are constantly being pursued.

Sent from my iPhone using Twitter

Your standards are a little unrealistic! You're aiming for the top 1% of the market—especially if you don't personally fall into that elite bracket. Aiming for the top 10-15% isn't an impossible dream, and it's actually quite achievable. There's a difference.

Brenda Perez11 said:Your standards are a little unrealistic! You're aiming for the top 1% of the market—especially if you don't personally fall into that elite bracket. Aiming for the top 10-15% isn't an impossible dream, and it's actually quite achievable. There's a difference.

Fair enough, but what is she actually looking for in this scenario?
The role of a side piece for some local guy?

I don't know—from her description, it seems like her focus is purely on the material stuff.🤔

Brenda Perez11 said:Your standards are a little unrealistic! You're aiming for the top 1% of the market—especially if you don't personally fall into that elite bracket. Aiming for the top 10-15% isn't an impossible dream, and it's actually quite achievable. There's a difference.

I have to disagree. If we are talking about the "cream of the crop," we are looking at a man between 37 and 42 years old. He needs to be physically very attractive to most women, which implies he should be tall—let's say 6'3" or taller. He must be well-built with broad shoulders, a fit physique, and impeccable grooming. Just on those points alone, the percentage drops significantly; you're already down to the top 30%. Most men in that age bracket look quite neglected. You know this is true; you see it for yourself when you observe people at a beach in California. Forget the winter months when everyone is bundled up in heavy coats; the beach reveals everything. Furthermore, if you want someone who possesses confidence, a strong presence, intellect, and charm, that percentage plummets even further. Now we are down to your 15%. But if you truly want a "catch" in every sense of the word, women are invariably drawn to men who possess power. Social power—men who are influential. To achieve that, one typically needs a certain status, perhaps serving as a CEO of a major corporation or holding a high-level management position. Such individuals are incredibly rare, which is why I referred to the top 1%.

Peter Diaz3 said:I have to disagree. If we are talking about the "cream of the crop," we are looking at a man between 37 and 42 years old. He needs to be physically very attractive to most women, which implies he should be tall—let's say 6'3" or taller. He must be well-built with broad shoulders, a fit physique, and impeccable grooming. Just on those points alone, the percentage drops significantly; you're already down to the top 30%. Most men in that age bracket look quite neglected. You know this is true; you see it for yourself when you observe people at a beach in California. Forget the winter months when everyone is bundled up in heavy coats; the beach reveals everything. Furthermore, if you want someone who possesses confidence, a strong presence, intellect, and charm, that percentage plummets even further. Now we are down to your 15%. But if you truly want a "catch" in every sense of the word, women are invariably drawn to men who possess power. Social power—men who are influential. To achieve that, one typically needs a certain status, perhaps serving as a CEO of a major corporation or holding a high-level management position. Such individuals are incredibly rare, which is why I referred to the top 1%.

What are you guys talking about? What 1%?
There isn't even a 1% of men over 6'3", especially once they hit middle age.
When you factor in all those other requirements, we aren't even talking about 1 percent. We're nowhere near it.

"But she won't settle for anything less; she deserves someone like that," she read in Gloria.
... meanwhile, she can't even fry an egg.🤦

Yeah... For that girl who’s barely five feet tall and obsessed with wild strawberries, having a guy who's at least 6'3" is a total dealbreaker for her.

Terry Bennett said:What are you guys talking about? What 1%?
There isn't even a 1% of men over 6'3", especially once they hit middle age.
When you factor in all those other requirements, we aren't even talking about 1 percent. We're nowhere near it.

"But she won't settle for anything less; she deserves someone like that," she read in Gloria.
... meanwhile, she can't even fry an egg.🤦

Well, you could probably find yourself a wife who actually knows her way around a kitchen too.
Honestly, I have no idea where you people find guys and girls who can't cook.
I tend to hang out with actual adults, and most of them don't pull this kind of nonsense without thinking twice.

Raymond Booth40 said:It wasn't exactly obvious from the start; it gave me a false sense of hope. It was only later that I realized

So what's your move? He hasn't given you an ounce of hope in ages, yet you're still sitting there waiting. For what, exactly?

Raymond Fisher98 said:Well, you could probably find yourself a wife who actually knows her way around a kitchen too.
Honestly, I have no idea where you people find guys and girls who can't cook.
I tend to hang out with actual adults, and most of them don't pull this kind of nonsense without thinking twice.

😁 😁 😁

Linda Johnson15 said:Yeah... For that girl who’s barely five feet tall and obsessed with wild strawberries, having a guy who's at least 6'3" is a total dealbreaker for her.

Exactly! Super tall guys are a total turnoff for me. And this idea that someone is hot just because they're tall or have a certain look? Please. Real men have attitude and confidence. You don't need to be a supermodel to pull that off!

My guy is a total narcissist too, honestly!

Peter Diaz3 said:I have to disagree. If we are talking about the "cream of the crop," we are looking at a man between 37 and 42 years old. He needs to be physically very attractive to most women, which implies he should be tall—let's say 6'3" or taller. He must be well-built with broad shoulders, a fit physique, and impeccable grooming. Just on those points alone, the percentage drops significantly; you're already down to the top 30%. Most men in that age bracket look quite neglected. You know this is true; you see it for yourself when you observe people at a beach in California. Forget the winter months when everyone is bundled up in heavy coats; the beach reveals everything. Furthermore, if you want someone who possesses confidence, a strong presence, intellect, and charm, that percentage plummets even further. Now we are down to your 15%. But if you truly want a "catch" in every sense of the word, women are invariably drawn to men who possess power. Social power—men who are influential. To achieve that, one typically needs a certain status, perhaps serving as a CEO of a major corporation or holding a high-level management position. Such individuals are incredibly rare, which is why I referred to the top 1%.

I think you're missing the mark on two specific traits you claim are vital to women. Having a shredded physique definitely isn't one of them! It doesn't have to be a beer belly, but there is a massive middle ground of men who take reasonable care of their health and fitness without looking like they stepped off a bodybuilding stage. Those guys are plenty sexy to most people. And 6'3"? That's a bit of an exaggeration.
Secondly, influence and social power aren't nearly as critical as you make them out to be. A perfectly respectable, middle-class social standing is more than enough for most circles. It doesn't require anything extreme or rare.
So, I'd say we're looking at a much higher percentage of viable men within the surrounding area and that age group. Though, I'm not quite sure why you've narrowed the window so strictly to 37-42?

Raymond Booth40 said:My guy is a total narcissist too, honestly!

This seems like a solid topic for discussion.
Is every attractive man just a narcissist? 🍿

Raymond Booth40 said:My guy is a total narcissist too, honestly!

Look, dropping one random sentence every three days without actually giving us any real context just creates this unnecessary mess in a personal thread where people are genuinely trying to step up and offer some solid advice. If you want actual help, try to lay out the full story or give us some details, otherwise, what we're even talking about makes zero sense. Besides, if we're going to dive into open relationship stuff, we've got a specific dedicated thread for that, so let's just keep the general conversation over there instead of cluttering things up here.🙂

Brenda Perez11 said:I think you're missing the mark on two specific traits you claim are vital to women. Having a shredded physique definitely isn't one of them! It doesn't have to be a beer belly, but there is a massive middle ground of men who take reasonable care of their health and fitness without looking like they stepped off a bodybuilding stage. Those guys are plenty sexy to most people. And 6'3"? That's a bit of an exaggeration.
Secondly, influence and social power aren't nearly as critical as you make them out to be. A perfectly respectable, middle-class social standing is more than enough for most circles. It doesn't require anything extreme or rare.
So, I'd say we're looking at a much higher percentage of viable men within the surrounding area and that age group. Though, I'm not quite sure why you've narrowed the window so strictly to 37-42?

Take this 37-year-old man as an example. He claims he exercises frequently but struggles with uncontrolled carbohydrate intake, though he is willing to correct it. Truly, looking at his muscle definition, it is evident that this individual puts effort into himself.

At 5'10", he weighs about 187 lbs. Men in their 40s who look like this are quite rare, as most look significantly worse than him—and this is what you categorize as "not having a beer belly, but still caring about appearance." In my humble opinion, based on my experience with women from various social backgrounds and statuses, this type of man will attract certain women, let alone many. What is unfortunate is that men aged 40 and older rarely look even remotely like this, which is a shame. Very few men in their 40s can truly be called handsome. I suppose some people simply have very low standards, for whom someone like Drago Krpin would be considered attractive.

Terry Bennett said:What are you guys talking about? What 1%?
There isn't even a 1% of men over 6'3", especially once they hit middle age.
When you factor in all those other requirements, we aren't even talking about 1 percent. We're nowhere near it.

"But she won't settle for anything less; she deserves someone like that," she read in Gloria.
... meanwhile, she can't even fry an egg.🤦

Maybe in Appalachia or the Midwest, it’s 1%. Personally, I’d wager that in California, it’s closer to 10%. Being 6'3" isn't some impossible, mythical height. And honestly, if they dropped the requirement down to 6'1", you might actually be looking at 30% of the population.

Peter Diaz3 said:Take this 37-year-old man as an example. He claims he exercises frequently but struggles with uncontrolled carbohydrate intake, though he is willing to correct it. Truly, looking at his muscle definition, it is evident that this individual puts effort into himself.

At 5'10", he weighs about 187 lbs. Men in their 40s who look like this are quite rare, as most look significantly worse than him—and this is what you categorize as "not having a beer belly, but still caring about appearance." In my humble opinion, based on my experience with women from various social backgrounds and statuses, this type of man will attract certain women, let alone many. What is unfortunate is that men aged 40 and older rarely look even remotely like this, which is a shame. Very few men in their 40s can truly be called handsome. I suppose some people simply have very low standards, for whom someone like Drago Krpin would be considered attractive.

There are far fewer women over 40 who could be described as total bitches than there are men over 40 who can be called hot shots. Women tend to decline much faster and more drastically.

Brenda Jackson4 said:There are far fewer women over 40 who could be described as total bitches than there are men over 40 who can be called hot shots. Women tend to decline much faster and more drastically.

You know that being bolded means it's a trait 🤔
but I'll let your ignorance slide... just this once 😁

Brenda Jackson4 said:There are far fewer women over 40 who could be described as total bitches than there are men over 40 who can be called hot shots. Women tend to decline much faster and more drastically.

It’s enough to make you ashamed to live in this country when you read stuff like this.👍

Rachel Richardson said:This seems like a solid topic for discussion.
Is every attractive man just a narcissist? 🍿

People would lose the thread on this one fast 🕺.

The issue is that "narcissism"—or most of its traits—is actually healthy and even desirable in small doses. Everyone would get lost trying to draw the line between being a narcissist and just being a confident guy.

And let's be honest: some people simply can't handle a discussion about narcissism unless they're busy judging and moralizing everyone else.

Brenda Jackson4 said:There are far fewer women over 40 who could be described as total bitches than there are men over 40 who can be called hot shots. Women tend to decline much faster and more drastically.

I have to disagree with you, my friend, you degenerate.
Nowadays, women are presented with significantly more options to stay "fit." If we start with beauty centers where women undergo various skin treatments—ranging from wrinkle and cellulite reduction to liposuction, and now the latest Botox treatments used to cling to a youthful appearance—it’s quite extensive. Then there are the various fitness options available to them, such as Pilates, gyms, aerobics, step aerobics, CrossFit, numerous dance clubs where middle-aged women are a staple, as well as swimming and running. Women in their 40s are generally in much better shape than men in their 40s. You can see this just by looking at the beach; if you grab 100 random women between ages 35 and 45 and 100 random men in that same age bracket, you will find a much higher percentage of women in peak physical condition and great shape.

On a different note, I do agree that those of us from the South are significantly taller. Here in New York City, you really only run into a tall man if he’s from the Midwest or carries roots from the South. These so-called locals of the second or third generation are practically little people. Which, of course, suits me just fine.

Raymond Booth40 said:My guy is a total narcissist too, honestly!

Alright, you dodged the question. Are you with him for the money?