How to stay organized: Tips for order, cleanliness, and discipline

Honestly, I’d love nothing more than to see you vanish from this forum—and I'm actually willing to help make that happen. Just give me some details on what kind of activities you're into and what you can handle, since I don't know much about your diagnosis.

weedo, look, you've already made progress. Writing things down is a solid step forward, not just mindless rambling.

Every little thing counts, even something as simple as closing the blinds. You can have a schedule, sure, but if you’re forcing yourself to stick to it too hard, what’s the point? It loses all its meaning.

Honestly, life is better when you just let things happen spontaneously. Of course, true spontaneity usually comes from being prepared enough to actually relax and let your subconscious take over.

Paul Thompson3 said:Honestly, I’d love nothing more than to see you vanish from this forum—and I'm actually willing to help make that happen. Just give me some details on what kind of activities you're into and what you can handle, since I don't know much about your diagnosis.

Maybe check the forum somewhere around 8:15–8:20 AM... and then again from 7:30 to 8:00 PM 🙂 and that's that.
I can just toss my phone in the trash.

Activities
- Any kind of physical workout—ideally nothing that requires insane precision because I’m a total klutz. Was shoveling snow today—loved it!
- Biking (maybe some mountain biking/enduro)
- Hiking
- Chopping wood (not much use for that since I'm living on city gas right now)
hmm...
- Gym sessions—to really ramp up the calorie burn (already part of the routine)
- Playing guitar to chill out and steady my nerves...
- Trapping / hunting
- Exploring the great outdoors
...hm, yeah, something along those earthly lines...

It can totally consume you—it takes up time and it’s a blast. Plus, it’s potentially dangerous, so you’re focused like never before; the adrenaline hits and you get that real sense of adventure. It's a great way to blow off steam while exploring nature. And if you get hooked on swapping parts and building a custom rig, that’s just as much fun.
You could probably join a group that rides around Mount Rainier and the trails near Washington, D.C. Even hitting the paths in Central Park is a good time. If you end up wiping out, don't blame me. 😁

Why not just pick up a guitar and start playing if you're having fun? You could write rhymes or some songs just for the hell of it—I honestly regret not knowing how to play; I’d love to be singing in some basement band just for the vibes.

Adopt a puppy from a shelter and you'll have your hands full.

I'm gonna pass on commenting about the traps.

Just wandering around the city with a camera and no real destination can be fun—you get plenty of steps in and burn calories at the same time.

An indoor bike is definitely the safer bet—at least you don't have to worry about flat tires out on the road.

But what about things like getting the chimney cleaned?

It’s a weird thing—like being under voluntary house arrest inside a cage of self-destruction. That gang always needs to smash something. Grab a beer, then let's go break some glass.
Then, once you actually get moving and pull off a solid, high-octane day full of actual experiences, you start thinking how much better and more meaningful that is than being stuck at home. God, the willpower it takes. Honestly, I haven't eaten anything in days—just coffee, cigarettes, and I'm starting to smell pretty bad. It's at that point where you can't even bother showering because what's the point? 🤦
My internal clock is flipped again, so I’ll have to try and reset it. Then I’ll catch a little burst of momentum, only to crash right back down to the absolute bottom. It’s just this cycle, over and over.🙄 I’ll feel like I’m the ultimate king, thinking I’m some genius when I’m really just a little idiot who wants everyone to admire him. Then I’ll feel like that’s all nonsense and that I’m actually the biggest loser alive. Then I’ll remember that I want to be a decent guy with principles, just like I am. Then I’ll wonder which principles might actually make me a total piece of trash. And I wouldn't want to be.
Then I’ll remember I’m talented and should probably launch my own business and finally earn some real money. Then I’ll remember that launching a business requires capital, and I absolutely loathe the corporate world—it drives me insane. Why the hell would I start something when I could just change my mind tomorrow and lose the point of everything? How am I supposed to start a business if people perceive me as an unstable wreck? Plus, I annoy people too easily, yet I’m supposed to be smiling, understanding, driven, and full of energy. And fine, maybe, but I can't stomach acting like one of those mindless drones from a commercial, possessing the mentality of some Facebook troll. Then I’ll think that *I'm* the one who is actually the idiot. Then I’ll think the worst: everything I could have done, how good my life could have been, how it all went sideways, and how I’m failing in every possible way. And how is it even possible for me to be a balanced person when I grew up in a dysfunctional family where I didn't even stand a chance at being different? I’ll blame myself for not realizing this right after the Army, finding a job, and cutting them off. All because I’m a stupid slacker and a professional procrastinator since day one. I’ll be caught somewhere between rational, cold intellect and my innate, childish spontaneity and silliness. I’ll think about what a piece of work my brother is and how I should have punched him in the face while it still made sense. I'll remember all those little losers who tried to get ahead through me because they're cowards who look over their shoulders to make sure no one hears them talking.
Then I’ll remember that I concluded long ago that I’m not built for this world, and it’s certainly not built for me; the whole thing is just a damn farce.
Then I’ll think it would be best to just end it all.🤦 But I'll tell myself to screw that, especially when every road leads to despair.
Tomorrow I’ll wake up and wonder why I write this stuff on the internet. I'll wonder why I give a damn. I'll wonder why I'm being such a crude, primitive ape. I'll wonder if I'm minimally hairy and maybe lacking testosterone, questioning if I have too many feminine traits—which my ego will hate. I'll wonder if mistyseal11 is so much smarter than me that he's actually baiting me into embarrassing myself. I'll realize it's a messed up way to think. Regardless, I'll feel this intense urge to stay below everyone else, yet I don't want to be the oppressor above anyone.
I’ll think that maybe I am actually insane, and I should just take some pills so I know what state I'm in. It's too much for one person. In a dark mood, I'll wander through the city thinking about how a random stranger could possibly see me as some total freak—how did it even come to this?!

Sorry mistyseal11, I hijacked your thread—guess I'm just an egocentric idiot. Man, how much better a person is when they're actually happy and satisfied.

If any professional happens to stumble upon this—I’d really appreciate your take on the whole situation. Is this just how I function, or am I looking at something like bipolar disorder? And I don't mean the textbook version most people talk about. It's more that I've never felt emotionally stable—never knew where I stood. My relationship with my parents was nonexistent; being the middle child, there was always this lingering sense of being overlooked and treated unfairly at home. I'm hypersensitive, a bit of an artsy type, and I tend to pick up on things about people that everyone else misses—plus, I get fixated. When it comes to people I care about, I attach quickly, but I detach even faster if they hurt me—at which point I just freeze them out, depending on how much of a jerk they're being. Honestly, I'm constantly caught in the crossfire between my own ideals and the harshness of reality.

I struggle with this constant, heavy mental fog—just sitting around, spiraling into a depressive funk. Honestly, I get more pissed off when I see someone else being mistreated than when someone targets me. If someone manages to humiliate me and I don't snap back, it eats at me forever. If I ever hit the jackpot with the Powerball, I’d probably focus more on charity than living some high-end luxury life. Maybe I have a bit of a moral superiority complex. I tend to judge people—fair enough—but I can admit when I'm wrong. My biggest respect goes to strong, decent people who treat those with less status with dignity; anyone who acts like trash toward people beneath them is worthless in my eyes. I tend to see things in black and white. It drives me insane when people call themselves "warriors" or claim their "mom gave birth to a fighter." That's just hilarious to me. Also, I can't stand being in a group where someone else is clearly the favorite—it makes me want to crawl into a hole. Everything has piled up so much lately that it’s hard to function, let alone live normally. It feels unbearable sometimes. I have this "all or nothing" mentality—either everything is going perfectly, or nothing makes sense at all. Back when I was a kid, I was arrogant, thinking I was the best-looking, funniest, smartest guy in the room. I couldn't stand looking at myself in the mirror, though I doubt I'm a narcissist because I genuinely want the best for people who are decent.
I'm a loner, and the human urge to conform really grates on me—even though, occasionally, I still crave that sense of belonging. People who only know me on the surface would never guess I feel this way; it’s pretty textbook. I’ve always had this drive to set things right. I can't stand watching fail videos of skaters wiping out, I hate horror movies, and I have zero interest in seeing tragic accidents. I value genuine kindness above almost everything. I honestly don't get how anyone manages to grow into a stable adult given all the chaos, suffering, and sheer possibility in the world. I’ve never really known what I want from myself; I'm at my best when things are spontaneous, but the second something becomes a mandatory obligation, I push back. And I really don't get the narrow-mindedness of splitting everything into left versus right.
I had a good childhood, but the issues started in my teens and haven't let up since.
I think my sense of identity is pretty weak. I’m not one for big risks, but I’ve never actually been afraid of dying.

Paul Thompson3, you hit the nail on the head. It’s all just part of the process, right? You’ve got your ups and your downs
while you're riding the wave.

When that itch for something different starts kicking in, that's usually the best time to actually pull the trigger and make a move.

Paul Thompson3 said:I struggle with this constant, heavy mental fog—just sitting around, spiraling into a depressive funk. Honestly, I get more pissed off when I see someone else being mistreated than when someone targets me. If someone manages to humiliate me and I don't snap back, it eats at me forever. If I ever hit the jackpot with the Powerball, I’d probably focus more on charity than living some high-end luxury life. Maybe I have a bit of a moral superiority complex. I tend to judge people—fair enough—but I can admit when I'm wrong. My biggest respect goes to strong, decent people who treat those with less status with dignity; anyone who acts like trash toward people beneath them is worthless in my eyes. I tend to see things in black and white. It drives me insane when people call themselves "warriors" or claim their "mom gave birth to a fighter." That's just hilarious to me. Also, I can't stand being in a group where someone else is clearly the favorite—it makes me want to crawl into a hole. Everything has piled up so much lately that it’s hard to function, let alone live normally. It feels unbearable sometimes. I have this "all or nothing" mentality—either everything is going perfectly, or nothing makes sense at all. Back when I was a kid, I was arrogant, thinking I was the best-looking, funniest, smartest guy in the room. I couldn't stand looking at myself in the mirror, though I doubt I'm a narcissist because I genuinely want the best for people who are decent.
I'm a loner, and the human urge to conform really grates on me—even though, occasionally, I still crave that sense of belonging. People who only know me on the surface would never guess I feel this way; it’s pretty textbook. I’ve always had this drive to set things right. I can't stand watching fail videos of skaters wiping out, I hate horror movies, and I have zero interest in seeing tragic accidents. I value genuine kindness above almost everything. I honestly don't get how anyone manages to grow into a stable adult given all the chaos, suffering, and sheer possibility in the world. I’ve never really known what I want from myself; I'm at my best when things are spontaneous, but the second something becomes a mandatory obligation, I push back. And I really don't get the narrow-mindedness of splitting everything into left versus right.
I had a good childhood, but the issues started in my teens and haven't let up since.
I think my sense of identity is pretty weak. I’m not one for big risks, but I’ve never actually been afraid of dying.

What makes you say that?

If someone messed with me back when I was a kid, I wouldn't even feel the anger—I just couldn't process it. As pathetic as it sounds, I felt like I had a solid sense of self back then because I naturally drew people in; I was this little leader, almost like some kind of indigo child. No matter how much I try to look back and deconstruct it, I can't figure out what the hell happened—I just always had this nagging feeling that something was off, that I was different from everyone else. Honestly, I think my identity is weak because I see myself in too many different things instead of just locking onto one thing that feels mine and grabbing it. It’s like a perpetual identity crisis that leads me to believe I don't really have one at all. I’m not sure if an identity is supposed to be a fixed personality where you always spout the same old talking points, or if it's something else—like when people know exactly who you are. Or maybe people just act a certain way so they become recognizable to others, that whole "you know how I roll" vibe. Around other people, I often feel like my entire energy just vanishes—as if their presence completely overrides mine because mine is so thin. Maybe it’s just a lack of worth; my self-esteem is pretty much non-existent at this point.

@Paul Thompson3:
the whole thing is that thinking is basically just a byproduct of having too much free time.
I could've honestly written 99% of what you put there myself, but I cut it all out because it was a total TL;DR
(just like it says in the first post of this thread)

it’s true—absolutely nothing we do actually matters, and for any path I take or any direction I choose, I can always find some massive justification for it or just decide it's completely pointless...

I basically embraced the game just so I could act like a robot.
how? by using a strictly analytical, programmer-style mindset. you've gotta live it 24/7.
staring at the ceiling is exhausting; it just triggers more thoughts and turns into this absolute mental nightmare.

I don't even get hyped for Friday or Saturday anymore... I used to be all like, "Yessss!! Weekend baby!!"
but now, every single day feels like Saturday to me.

Most days feel about 97% Groundhog Day—mixed with that weird vibe from a movie where you just stare at the screen, unable to process what's happening. Most of the time I'm struggling—just really, really struggling. I can be sitting at home, totally safe, and still feel like I'm on the edge of a breakdown. A few years back, it used to hit me physically—this awful, grinding tension right in my shins.

Lawrence Bailey77 - Look, sometimes I say one thing and mean another. If I had some rock-solid identity, I guess I’d always stick to the same script.

And this whole thing with regional slang and dialects... man... sometimes I even throw in some old-school southern slang just for kicks! {you know what I mean?}

Look, things are always easier when you can just laugh them off, though I guess forcing a joke can feel a little weird {but hey, it's not all bad}

So, why does life even exist?

Carl Rivera43 said:And this whole thing with regional slang and dialects... man... sometimes I even throw in some old-school southern slang just for kicks! {you know what I mean?}

Look, things are always easier when you can just laugh them off, though I guess forcing a joke can feel a little weird {but hey, it's not all bad}

So, why does life even exist?

Honestly, just finding a way to get through 24 hours every single day that actually feels meaningful to me.

I’ve been living my life like every day is Saturday and just tossing everything else out the window.
It’s honestly wrecked my mental state, my health, my social life, my productivity, my inspiration, my creativity...
everything's just gone downhill.

The question is super simple and there's really no need to overthink things with everyone else.

Time
Fritter and waste the hours in an off-hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your hometown
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

it doesn't even make sense to pick out just one specific part of the lyrics... because honestly, every single line perfectly captures exactly how I'm feeling right now...

okay,
once somebody finally shows me the "path" (order / cleanliness / discipline)
then this is what happens

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the American way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say

...but that's totally fine by me.
that's exactly what I want.
the race. once again.

Look, if the topic was actually that simple, why didn't you just jump in? You got plenty of solid suggestions—basically everything under the sun. It’s either some physical grind, a creative outlet, or just wasting time online—there isn't much else to it.
Everyone keeps harping on about hiking, language classes, or "self-improvement."
Maybe you could just accept that most people simply don't care about the same things at nearly 30 as they did when they were 19? What, you looking for a life coach or something?

Anyway, just don't go joining ISIS.😁

mistyseal11 said:Honestly, just finding a way to get through 24 hours every single day that actually feels meaningful to me.

I’ve been living my life like every day is Saturday and just tossing everything else out the window.
It’s honestly wrecked my mental state, my health, my social life, my productivity, my inspiration, my creativity...
everything's just gone downhill.

The question is super simple and there's really no need to overthink things with everyone else.

Yeah, the topic is simple... at least on paper!

Moving around creates opportunities. And yeah, there are so many different paths that can totally shift your mood.

Life is supposed to reward you, right? But it gets messy when things change so fast that you hit a wall. You put in the work, but it feels unappreciated, and suddenly even the tiny mistakes feel like huge disasters.

Some people walk around like robots, just rushing through life and using their talents to manipulate others or cloud the truth. I'm not jealous of the ones who have more money or a flashier lifestyle; I just see that a lot of that behavior is unnatural. Isn't it better to keep your dignity and look out for yourself than to play dirty?

All those restrictions, limitations, "can'ts"—what's the point? Is it just fear of failing again? Even when we're holding all the right cards?
Man, those fears really stall your life. Or maybe... maybe those fears are part of the mystery?
Uh, the endless nature of secrets. Secrets you don't want to fully uncover, yet you still want to peek behind the curtain just a little bit.
Why is it that leaving so many questions unanswered leaves such a deep impression?
Uh, maybe I'm wandering off too far here. I guess I'd prefer if things were revealed faster, but then the whole challenge of the mystery would change, wouldn't it?

Actually, looking back, all those lingering traces definitely carry a lesson.

Carl Rivera43, why didn't you show up for trivia night?
Everyone headed to bed early—right when I'm starting to feel lonely... damn the working class, they really have to go make their bread, don't they?🤣
Someone get a therapist in this chat—I need someone to listen to my venting, analyze me, maybe give me some attention... I'll tell you everything, I'll confess it all😵🤣

Since everyone’s already passed out, I’ll just recap my day on the forum.
It was actually a good one. My sense of humor came back—even my will to live, for a second there. I’m glad I actually connected with people; usually, I just drop random comments or leave trails of mental garbage. Everyone else seemed to enjoy it too. Weedemer went to sleep at a decent hour, while Lapsus had what looked like a spiritual epiphany—a total biblical release. Carl Rivera43 was messing around a bit, too; seemed like he was in a decent mood.
I also ran into Descender—the guy has a sharp way of thinking and observing. I have to admit, his writing is on a much higher level than mine.

Even the FAQ seemed to be in a good mood today, which is great. It makes me happy when it's doing well, because honestly, the guy is a mess, but he’s a good man at heart.

I'm not thrilled with how basic my vocabulary felt today, though I wrote a lot. I kept making slips, but I just didn't have the energy to polish things up and look eloquent. My brain isn't exactly firing on all cylinders lately—not helping that the brain fog is real and I've been smoking too many cigarettes...

Today felt more like something you'd hear from some kid hanging out at a bus stop. Let's be real—I've never been one for flowery prose, even if I can write something coherent and punchy when I want to.
Years of wasting time, not reading, and listening to nothing but rap have definitely taken their toll—plus spending way too much time with people whose entire vocabulary is about fifty words. It's a shame I got sucked into that street culture when I was younger; I don't belong there, and I was looking for things that just don't exist in that world. Damn, I keep repeating myself and overusing "and" as a connector. Even the swearing starts to sound mindless if I overdo it.
And yeah, I actually went to a fancy gala, haha—what an idiot. There's a gentleman inside me, but there's also that little delinquent from high school still living in my heart, and I love him because even though he talks simple, his intuition is top-tier. He just needs to learn how to express it better.

Paul Thompson3, seriously, great job on that breakdown {you nailed the whole situation}

Speaking of making guesses, Wedo just headed straight to the casino!

Ugh, the weather forecasters missed the mark again. I spent the entire night trekking through the city lugging an umbrella around {and I almost left it behind, too}

By the way, I once accidentally walked right into my old boss's office without even knocking {the guy actually told me, "I could've been naked!"}
From then on, I always knock {hey, you live and learn, right?)

mistyseal11 said:Time
Fritter and waste the hours in an off-hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your hometown
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

it doesn't even make sense to pick out just one specific part of the lyrics... because honestly, every single line perfectly captures exactly how I'm feeling right now...

okay,
once somebody finally shows me the "path" (order / cleanliness / discipline)
then this is what happens

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the American way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say

...but that's totally fine by me.
that's exactly what I want.
the race. once again.

If you’re actually looking for a race... first off,
- you have to decide which discipline you're actually competing in
- you need to figure out who your actual opponents are
- and you have to be damn well pissed off about it.

(Or, if some other emotion is what drives you—which, I guess, is possible—you'll have to dig deep to find it... because indifference? That's just the biggest lie there is.)