People who are choosing to be childfree

redscout46 said:Well, obviously women have to suffer for it. Unlike someone like Alexander Adams94, who probably just stuffs his head under a pillow whenever the kid starts wailing. That’s exactly why everyone is so entitled and arrogant these days.
But then again, there really is nothing more beautiful in this life than one's own comfort.

👍
I can't even deal with my cat needing to go out in the middle of the night without wanting to lose my mind, let alone a baby you have to soothe, burp, and babysit constantly. With my insomnia? I’d be a ticking time bomb waiting for the next cry to snap me out of sleep. No way. Absolutely not.

I want a life. I want to live with someone I love and actually enjoy that connection without a third party crashing the party—even if that party is a child. The truth? Couples drift apart once kids arrive; they'd probably toss the kid off a balcony if they could. I have neighbors in their prime who don't have kids, just two cats. To me, that's perfection. Meanwhile, the neighbors with three kids? God, the 🙄 screaming never ends...

redscout46 said:Well, obviously women have to suffer for it. Unlike someone like Alexander Adams94, who probably just stuffs his head under a pillow whenever the kid starts wailing. That’s exactly why everyone is so entitled and arrogant these days.
But then again, there really is nothing more beautiful in this life than one's own comfort.

But what kind of support will your kids actually provide when you're older, instead of just letting you fade away in some nursing home?

🤦

I honestly fail to see the utility of threads like this. Is the goal to gather a crowd of people who don't want kids just to upvote those who do? What’s the actual point? If you don't want children, fine—that’s your prerogative, and frankly, nobody cares. I haven't encountered a single thread where people were ganging up on those opting out of parenthood, yet the reverse seems to happen quite frequently.
So, what's the catch? Why does it bother you so much to see three little kids living in the house next door? Could you not simply let people live their lives and focus on cultivating your own?
That would be far too much effort, wouldn't it? 🙄

Since we are opening up this discussion, we might as well address the reality of foster care. Every child sitting in an American foster home has a biological mother and father somewhere out there. In most cases, those parents decided their own personal comfort was more important than their own flesh and blood. It’s shameful.

Gregory Jackson3 said:Uninformed people tend to cling blindly to outdated traditions
that is essentially your answer

everyone seems to have this preconceived notion that young people should just rush through life, get their footing, and start building families immediately...

What does "right away" even mean? Better to figure out you want kids earlier rather than later... I mean, Krste Papić's wife had her kid at 57, then put "gone too soon" in his obituary after he passed... wtf, the guy was 80. Of course he went too soon if your kids are still in middle school and you haven't even gotten them on their feet yet... so... everything in its own time...

Anyway, back to the topic. People love being around people who think just like them. It’s obvious enough that parents or close friends comment on our stuff about kids because they have skin in the game. Older folks might be worried they'll end up playing with a cat instead of grandkids, and friends know it's easier to hang out when there's common ground—like kids. But random people? Coworkers, neighbors, distant relatives... they shouldn't really care. It's pointless for them to chime in with judgments on decisions that aren't their business...

Anthony Perez28 said:🤦

I honestly fail to see the utility of threads like this. Is the goal to gather a crowd of people who don't want kids just to upvote those who do? What’s the actual point? If you don't want children, fine—that’s your prerogative, and frankly, nobody cares. I haven't encountered a single thread where people were ganging up on those opting out of parenthood, yet the reverse seems to happen quite frequently.
So, what's the catch? Why does it bother you so much to see three little kids living in the house next door? Could you not simply let people live their lives and focus on cultivating your own?
That would be far too much effort, wouldn't it? 🙄

Since we are opening up this discussion, we might as well address the reality of foster care. Every child sitting in an American foster home has a biological mother and father somewhere out there. In most cases, those parents decided their own personal comfort was more important than their own flesh and blood. It’s shameful.

Don't get so worked up over a thread. You're always going to have your opinion and others will have theirs regardless of the circumstances... just chill out.☕

Look, if someone wants kids, fine. If they don't, also fine.

So why do people feel the need to come at us? Honestly, I think it’s just this weird defense mechanism—like they're projecting their own unresolved baggage onto everyone else. Take, for instance, someone who desperately wants children but can't have them. Instead of dealing with that heartbreak, they just turn around and lash out at anyone who actually *can* have kids but chooses not to. Or even the other way around—think about a parent who’s completely burnt out, running on fumes, and feels like they have zero time left for themselves. Since they can't exactly admit, "Hey, my kids are exhausting me," they see you living your life, doing whatever you want, and suddenly they feel judged by your very existence. That resentment? It’s usually just them being mad at their own situation, but they redirect all that heat toward you.

Seriously, just stop giving a damn about what other people think. Just live your life however works for you. 🙂

Parenting is treated like some universal constant that nobody dares to question. People just have kids because that's how the world works. Honestly, how many people can actually give a meaningful answer to why they have children? Most excuses boil down to vague abstractions like "I love kids" (though they usually mean *their* kids), the basic biological urge, or even the ego trip of trying to achieve immortality through genetics...🙄
When you express a negative view to someone with kids, you aren't just sharing an opinion; you're essentially invalidating every sacrifice they've ever made and attacking their core values. People hate that.
I hear these predictable phrases from parents all the time: "Just wait until it's your turn," "You'll see," or "Enjoy your freedom while it lasts." It’s incredibly negative. They rarely talk about how beautiful it actually is.😛
My take? There's definitely a heavy dose of envy toward the freedom people have when they don't carry those responsibilities.
On top of that, there's this constant emphasis on martyrdom. You get lines like, "I sacrificed everything for you," which is just pure manipulation used to demand repayment for a choice they made.
There is so much toxicity baked into the whole concept that I find it impossible to view parenting as anything inherently beautiful.

I have zero desire for children. My partner is more than enough for me. To me, a child would be an optional addition to an existing relationship, not some essential component without which the relationship couldn't function.
I'm certain my partnership would suffer if we went down that road. For us, it's just the two of us plus a cat or a dog, and I'm perfectly happy.😬

brightviper22 said:👍
I can't even deal with my cat needing to go out in the middle of the night without wanting to lose my mind, let alone a baby you have to soothe, burp, and babysit constantly. With my insomnia? I’d be a ticking time bomb waiting for the next cry to snap me out of sleep. No way. Absolutely not.

I want a life. I want to live with someone I love and actually enjoy that connection without a third party crashing the party—even if that party is a child. The truth? Couples drift apart once kids arrive; they'd probably toss the kid off a balcony if they could. I have neighbors in their prime who don't have kids, just two cats. To me, that's perfection. Meanwhile, the neighbors with three kids? God, the 🙄 screaming never ends...

That is exactly it. Even I find myself drifting away from my boyfriend sometimes, mostly because our work shifts are such a mess and we're never on the same page. If I had to let anyone else tag along in my van, it would strictly be a cat, because let's face it, they are freaking perfect creatures. 🙂

And frankly, I don't get why certain people get so worked up over these types of posts; look at Anthony Perez28, for instance, acting like it's a crime. This is a forum. You should be able to talk about whatever you want, which is the whole reason we all signed up for this. If this topic doesn't sit right with you, then maybe head over to the automotive or computer boards and stick to discussing things you can actually touch. 🥱

What kind of shallow excuses are these? "I just want to get home from work, light up a cigarette, and have sex without anyone yelling at me." It’s as if those are somehow more creative pursuits than raising a child. Unless you're in a rock band with a career more demanding than changing damn diapers, what are we talking about here? You'll light a smoke and have some quiet time in bed—such a massive deal. The reasoning is just incredible: "A kid would get in my way because then I couldn't sit in my armchair, smoke, and sleep around without interruptions." As if you've written a masterpiece or recorded a legendary album and are far too creative to be bothered by a baby because your head is bursting with new ideas. Honestly, could you at least come up with reasons that show a slightly higher intellectual level than smoking after work and wanting peace and quiet? People create historical works of art and don't let dirty diapers or a crying infant stop them, yet apparently, a baby's cry is going to ruin your ability to smoke a cigarette and have some intimacy. Don't try to sell me those lines.

Alexander Adams94 said:What kind of shallow excuses are these? "I just want to get home from work, light up a cigarette, and have sex without anyone yelling at me." It’s as if those are somehow more creative pursuits than raising a child. Unless you're in a rock band with a career more demanding than changing damn diapers, what are we talking about here? You'll light a smoke and have some quiet time in bed—such a massive deal. The reasoning is just incredible: "A kid would get in my way because then I couldn't sit in my armchair, smoke, and sleep around without interruptions." As if you've written a masterpiece or recorded a legendary album and are far too creative to be bothered by a baby because your head is bursting with new ideas. Honestly, could you at least come up with reasons that show a slightly higher intellectual level than smoking after work and wanting peace and quiet? People create historical works of art and don't let dirty diapers or a crying infant stop them, yet apparently, a baby's cry is going to ruin your ability to smoke a cigarette and have some intimacy. Don't try to sell me those lines.

🥱 The fact that you're so limited that you failed to grasp my irony is entirely your own problem. No, it isn't just about smoking cigarettes; I have plenty of other things to occupy my time. This was meant to be a banal, simplified description, but clearly, someone with your specific intellectual capacity simply can't wrap their head around it. ☕

redscout46 said:Hello there.
There’s one thing I just can't wrap my head around lately. Why does our society react with such intense hostility whenever someone dares to mention they don't want children? I brought this up recently during a dinner with some older folks and their circle of friends, and one gentleman looked absolutely horrified, as if I’d admitted to a felony. I mean, how am I even supposed to explain it—that I simply don't want them? (Though, apparently, if you aren't eager to be a parent, you're just being willfully ignorant.)
Personally, I don't see what all the fuss is about. Every time I hear those tired clichés, like "I spent all morning feeding my son with a spoon just to make sure he actually swallowed his food... kids are life's greatest treasure," I feel a physical urge to recoil. To be perfectly honest—though I try not to let the disgust show publicly—I tell people straight up that I value my freedom, that I want to focus on my career, and that I plan to travel with a partner, only to immediately be condescended to with comments like, "Oh, you just don't understand yet..." 🤦
The sheer audacity of it.
What do you all think? Is it really considered "abnormal" to not want to spend your life cleaning up after someone, feeding them smelly mush, and sitting through endless school meetings? Am I asking for too much comfort by choosing not to spend the next twenty years constantly worrying about someone else or draining my bank account on ballet lessons, English tutors, and soccer camps? Am I truly that selfish if I'd rather come home to a tidy apartment, sink into the couch, and enjoy a quiet moment after a long day at work, instead of cooking massive family meals and stepping on Lego bricks every five minutes? 🤣
I don't know what's going on with America lately, but people seem to have completely lost their minds.😵

I'm guessing the 88 in your handle is your birth year...

Just wait a few more years until those hormones and brain chemistry start kicking in and flip your whole perspective upside down. I know you feel like it's impossible right now, but we'll talk in 5-6-7 years...😉

And then you'll realize that everything you mentioned with such disgust is actually a huge joy, not a chore.

As for having kids... man, I don't know... I'm not a woman, I haven't lived it myself, I've just watched from the sidelines—and it sounds incredibly cliché, I know—but there isn't any experience in life that even comes close to it. None.

redscout46 said:🥱 The fact that you're so limited that you failed to grasp my irony is entirely your own problem. No, it isn't just about smoking cigarettes; I have plenty of other things to occupy my time. This was meant to be a banal, simplified description, but clearly, someone with your specific intellectual capacity simply can't wrap their head around it. ☕

Alright, let's hear something actually intellectual from your life besides smoking and hooking up. Go ahead. Just please don't tell me, "I listen to Pink Floyd and having a baby is a major distraction during this intellectual pursuit."

John Baker said:Parenting is treated like some universal constant that nobody dares to question. People just have kids because that's how the world works. Honestly, how many people can actually give a meaningful answer to why they have children? Most excuses boil down to vague abstractions like "I love kids" (though they usually mean *their* kids), the basic biological urge, or even the ego trip of trying to achieve immortality through genetics...🙄
When you express a negative view to someone with kids, you aren't just sharing an opinion; you're essentially invalidating every sacrifice they've ever made and attacking their core values. People hate that.
I hear these predictable phrases from parents all the time: "Just wait until it's your turn," "You'll see," or "Enjoy your freedom while it lasts." It’s incredibly negative. They rarely talk about how beautiful it actually is.😛
My take? There's definitely a heavy dose of envy toward the freedom people have when they don't carry those responsibilities.
On top of that, there's this constant emphasis on martyrdom. You get lines like, "I sacrificed everything for you," which is just pure manipulation used to demand repayment for a choice they made.
There is so much toxicity baked into the whole concept that I find it impossible to view parenting as anything inherently beautiful.

I have zero desire for children. My partner is more than enough for me. To me, a child would be an optional addition to an existing relationship, not some essential component without which the relationship couldn't function.
I'm certain my partnership would suffer if we went down that road. For us, it's just the two of us plus a cat or a dog, and I'm perfectly happy.😬

People just love to complain, really. There's this pervasive culture of negativity here in the States—if things are going great, people find a reason to whine, and if things are going south, they definitely don't shut up.

That whole habit of judging parenting in front of others is deeply ingrained in our culture, but honestly, it’s just pure nonsense.

Yeah, being a parent is hard—it’s incredibly tough being a mom during those first couple of years—but ask any (mentally stable) woman if she’d want to hit a reset button and go back to her old life... nobody would take that deal.

The beautiful moments far outweigh the "bad" ones, and even those rough patches? In a few decades—actually, in a few weeks for me—we'll be looking back on them with nothing but nostalgia...

Basically, people are just talking trash.

I consider myself responsible enough to realize I shouldn't bring a child into such an unfair world. (I'm basically being hard on myself here). Let’s be honest: I’m selfish. I love sleeping in until 10 or 11 on Saturdays, and I value my peace. One day, if I'm financially stable enough to provide a life similar to the one I had growing up, I might actually sit around and daydream about it. I can already picture a little kid running around and causing chaos for their old man. But let’s be real—even then, I’d probably find some excuse to avoid it. It always works out somehow. 🙂

If I were to find myself in that situation by pure accident, I’d likely eventually realize what a blessing it truly is. But for now, it's just baby steps.
Cheers 🙂

Alexander Adams94 said:What kind of shallow excuses are these? "I just want to get home from work, light up a cigarette, and have sex without anyone yelling at me." It’s as if those are somehow more creative pursuits than raising a child. Unless you're in a rock band with a career more demanding than changing damn diapers, what are we talking about here? You'll light a smoke and have some quiet time in bed—such a massive deal. The reasoning is just incredible: "A kid would get in my way because then I couldn't sit in my armchair, smoke, and sleep around without interruptions." As if you've written a masterpiece or recorded a legendary album and are far too creative to be bothered by a baby because your head is bursting with new ideas. Honestly, could you at least come up with reasons that show a slightly higher intellectual level than smoking after work and wanting peace and quiet? People create historical works of art and don't let dirty diapers or a crying infant stop them, yet apparently, a baby's cry is going to ruin your ability to smoke a cigarette and have some intimacy. Don't try to sell me those lines.

Maybe you should take something to calm down? Why are you acting like a manic runner, getting so caught up in these forum posts? It's ridiculous how emotionally attached someone can get to an online conversation. 🤣

Ashley Johnson6 said:People just love to complain, really. There's this pervasive culture of negativity here in the States—if things are going great, people find a reason to whine, and if things are going south, they definitely don't shut up.

That whole habit of judging parenting in front of others is deeply ingrained in our culture, but honestly, it’s just pure nonsense.

Yeah, being a parent is hard—it’s incredibly tough being a mom during those first couple of years—but ask any (mentally stable) woman if she’d want to hit a reset button and go back to her old life... nobody would take that deal.

The beautiful moments far outweigh the "bad" ones, and even those rough patches? In a few decades—actually, in a few weeks for me—we'll be looking back on them with nothing but nostalgia...

Basically, people are just talking trash.

I never actually said that it was a bad thing; I was simply approaching this thread from my own personal vantage point following the recent, rather intense scrutiny I faced for refusing to participate. Look, if someone wants to procreate, far be it from me to stop them, but I fail to grasp why everyone suddenly lost their minds just because I wasn't interested. It felt like everyone was ringing my doorbell all at once, demanding an explanation for a preference they had no business questioning.😁 I decided to start this thread just to see if anyone else actually feels the same way I do, though I realize I’m likely just being another fool cluttering up the forum with yet another unnecessary topic.

Everyone carries their own set of priorities through life, and if I’m being honest—and perhaps a little selfish in the process—mine center entirely around personal happiness and constant self-improvement. Beyond that, I care deeply about the well-being of my partner, my parents, and my friends. I also came to realize the complexities of family relatively late in the game when I finally had a brother, which gave me a perspective on upbringing and parenting that I think is a bit more seasoned than someone who’s just dealing with a newborn for the first few months.

I’ve often thought that life is actually quite a beautiful thing when you’re granted the freedom to simply do what makes you happy. Everyone should be allowed to follow their own path, really. But if we're going to live by that rule, then that autonomy needs to be respected. It’s a bit exhausting, honestly, because after being shut down and dismissed so many times during my various discussions here, I’ve finally just decided to embrace it—to lean into being unapologetically honest and a little sarcastic in my posts. It feels more authentic that way, even if it ruffles a few feathers. 😁

Look, I definitely don't want kids, man. Honestly, I’m just way too self-centered to take on that kind of massive responsibility, especially when you consider how much energy you have to pour into them for such an insanely long stretch of time. I’d basically have to put my own desires and ambitions on the back burner, and let me tell you, I am just not ready for that.

brightviper22 said:Maybe you should take something to calm down? Why are you acting like a manic runner, getting so caught up in these forum posts? It's ridiculous how emotionally attached someone can get to an online conversation. 🤣

That kid probably considers that achievement the absolute pinnacle of his existence. ☕

A friend of mine used to go on and on about how she absolutely did not want kids—like, zero interest, total "ugh" factor... then she gets pregnant, and suddenly all she talks about is the baby. It’s wild.

I’m still not sure if it's in the cards for me, but for now? Definitely not. I’ve lived enough life to know what I want, and I have no intention of having a kid before I hit 30. Actually, let's be real: I don't want that kind of responsibility on my shoulders until I'm at least 38.

There’s also this other thing weighing on my mind... even though I know deep down I’d be an incredible mother and would raise a child perfectly, there’s this nagging fear. Even if I do everything right, there's always that tiny, terrifying chance that despite my best efforts, the kid grows up to be some complete idiot or just a mediocre person. To me, that would feel like my ultimate failure. So, maybe it's better not to take the risk at all...

Patrick Wright2 said:Look, I definitely don't want kids, man. Honestly, I’m just way too self-centered to take on that kind of massive responsibility, especially when you consider how much energy you have to pour into them for such an insanely long stretch of time. I’d basically have to put my own desires and ambitions on the back burner, and let me tell you, I am just not ready for that.

To be perfectly honest, 👍