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People who are choosing to be childfree

Started by redscout46 · · 👁 8 views · 97 replies

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Participants redscout46quietpilot87crimsonhound4Grace Edwardsjadetiger37ruggedtinker9Alexander Adams94brightviper22Gregory Jackson3Anthony Perez28Morgan Newman7Nicholas Gonzalez8John BakerAshley Johnson6Sandra MoralesPatrick Wright2Michael Cruz55Paul Thompson3Donna White50rowdypilot19George Kelly8electricbear222granitetiger69wearyowl29 …
Paul Thompson3 Paul Thompson3 Active Member
129 messages
joined Mar 2015
#41 ·
Kids are basically like drugs—they're great for a little while, but most of the time it’s just a mess and hard to walk away from. Don't do drugs, don't do kids.
Donna White50 Donna White50 Regular
342 messages
joined Jan 2018
#42 ·
brightviper22 said:👍
I can't even deal with my cat needing to go out in the middle of the night without wanting to lose my mind, let alone a baby you have to soothe, burp, and babysit constantly. With my insomnia? I’d be a ticking time bomb waiting for the next cry to snap me out of sleep. No way. Absolutely not.

I want a life. I want to live with someone I love and actually enjoy that connection without a third party crashing the party—even if that party is a child. The truth? Couples drift apart once kids arrive; they'd probably toss the kid off a balcony if they could. I have neighbors in their prime who don't have kids, just two cats. To me, that's perfection. Meanwhile, the neighbors with three kids? God, the 🙄 screaming never ends...

I seriously can't believe some people talk about children with such blatant contempt and selfishness. I guess some people think it's "cool" now—this Western trend that hit us like a tsunami—but personally, I think it's awful. Look, if you don't want kids, fine, that's your call... but whining about how demanding they are, how they cry, poop, pee, and act out, or how the world is just this rotten place... that's just reflecting your own stupidity. Because you're the one thinking that way—you're the one who used to poop in diapers and drive your parents crazy, born into a world that was arguably much harsher than today's. We all survived. I truly believe nobody looks back and genuinely regrets being born—unless they're currently in a massive funk or deep depression.
Maybe there are too many people on Earth, and it's good not to overcrowd things, but leave the kids out of it. They aren't to blame for being kids, for crying, or for needing love. You're all adults here, yet acting like a bunch of huge, selfish children. Whether you admit it or not, you might think you're perfect, but by acting this way and being so cynical, you're doing way more damage to others than one innocent, crying little kid ever could...

For me, making the call on kids is tough, even though I have a great marriage and I'm almost 35. It's a mix of things—lack of time, wanting to stay comfortable, not wanting those massive responsibilities, and honestly, just worrying about their health, our finances, and what the future holds in general...
redscout46 redscout46 MemberOP
24 messages
joined Feb 2015
#43 ·
Paul Thompson3 said:Kids are basically like drugs—they're great for a little while, but most of the time it’s just a mess and hard to walk away from. Don't do drugs, don't do kids.

🤣🤣
brightviper22 brightviper22 Member
18 messages
joined Mar 2015
#44 ·
redscout46 said:That is exactly it. Even I find myself drifting away from my boyfriend sometimes, mostly because our work shifts are such a mess and we're never on the same page. If I had to let anyone else tag along in my van, it would strictly be a cat, because let's face it, they are freaking perfect creatures. 🙂

And frankly, I don't get why certain people get so worked up over these types of posts; look at Anthony Perez28, for instance, acting like it's a crime. This is a forum. You should be able to talk about whatever you want, which is the whole reason we all signed up for this. If this topic doesn't sit right with you, then maybe head over to the automotive or computer boards and stick to discussing things you can actually touch. 🥱

True. I can't even make it to the bathroom without my cat. 🙂 Now I'm thinking of getting another one, then maybe another next year... forget kids. That's something I'll deal with when I'm older, if that ever happens.
Alexander Adams94 Alexander Adams94 Active Member
79 messages
joined Dec 2014
#45 ·
brightviper22 said:Maybe you should take something to calm down? Why are you acting like a manic runner, getting so caught up in these forum posts? It's ridiculous how emotionally attached someone can get to an online conversation. 🤣

I’m just playing around with the ideas being thrown out here. Having a kid isn't some massive life crisis for me, but it's a much bigger deal than smoking cigarettes or having sex. My nearly immobile grandpa can smoke, and plenty of guys have sex—not exactly groundbreaking achievements. These are silly comparisons. Why not go record an album with George Michael and say, "I'm too cool to deal with a baby right now"? She thinks she's too cool for a kid because she'd just want to smoke after work and hook up with her partner in peace. That's like saying I want to eat for an hour, enjoy my food, and I'm just "too cool" to be bothered by a crying baby.
brightviper22 brightviper22 Member
18 messages
joined Mar 2015
#46 ·
Alexander Adams94 said:I’m just playing around with the ideas being thrown out here. Having a kid isn't some massive life crisis for me, but it's a much bigger deal than smoking cigarettes or having sex. My nearly immobile grandpa can smoke, and plenty of guys have sex—not exactly groundbreaking achievements. These are silly comparisons. Why not go record an album with George Michael and say, "I'm too cool to deal with a baby right now"? She thinks she's too cool for a kid because she'd just want to smoke after work and hook up with her partner in peace. That's like saying I want to eat for an hour, enjoy my food, and I'm just "too cool" to be bothered by a crying baby.

🤦 Man, you're exhausting. Just rambling on about nonsense endlessly... I don't smoke and I don't hook up, so maybe find a church to pray in instead... 🥱 Time for an afternoon nap, while you're still over here theorizing. Enjoy yourself.
redscout46 redscout46 MemberOP
24 messages
joined Feb 2015
#47 ·
brightviper22 said:🤦 Man, you're exhausting. Just rambling on about nonsense endlessly... I don't smoke and I don't hook up, so maybe find a church to pray in instead... 🥱 Time for an afternoon nap, while you're still over here theorizing. Enjoy yourself.

Just let him be. The guy clearly has the intellectual capacity of a common garden slug.😵
Grace Edwards Grace Edwards Active Member
184 messages
joined May 2023
#48 ·
Paul Thompson3 said:Kids are basically like drugs—they're great for a little while, but most of the time it’s just a mess and hard to walk away from. Don't do drugs, don't do kids.

What kind of parallel is that? 🤣
rowdypilot19 rowdypilot19 Active Member
143 messages
joined Jan 2018
#49 ·
I honestly have no clue if I ever want kids... maybe one day, or maybe never... or who knows, maybe adoption is more my speed.

I mean, seriously, if you aren't into babies, you can always adopt a six-year-old that nobody else wants.

Everyone's got their own thing, and honestly, I usually just tell people like that to get lost—like, seriously, just get out of my house! 🤣
George Kelly8 George Kelly8 Newcomer
4 messages
joined Mar 2015
#50 ·
Grace Edwards said:👍

One reason why talking to people feels less and less necessary to me lately. If we agree, I feel like I'm just talking to myself. If we disagree, it actually hurts—like physically hitting my head against a wall. And if I just bite my tongue and give some fake little smile just to keep the peace, then what's the point? It feels like a massive waste of time to pretend.
It's pretty rare to find someone who hits that perfect middle ground on everything.

But, back to the topic...
The other day I was watching this documentary about folks from a small town in Texas. When an Imotian was describing this single guy who traveled halfway around the world and started his own business, he ended up adding that the guy had no wife or kids. "See? Nothing there." 🙏
Then, when he talked about one of his neighbors' marriages, he went, "They have five kids, so clearly the marriage works." Sure, maybe the husband gets aggressive after a few beers, or maybe they can barely afford to feed the kids, but apparently, "if there are five of them, everything is just fine." 🙏

Go ahead and talk to those people you disagree with. Seek them out. Those debates help you figure out who you actually are, and they help others too. It's worth the headache,
Grace Edwards Grace Edwards Active Member
184 messages
joined May 2023
#51 ·
There's just something about it 👍
electricbear222 electricbear222 Newcomer
1 message
joined Mar 2015
#52 ·
I don't see myself ever having kids... I'm neither conventionally attractive nor wealthy, and frankly, it doesn't seem like anyone is interested in getting intimate with me.
George Kelly8 George Kelly8 Newcomer
4 messages
joined Mar 2015
#53 ·
Choosing not to have kids is perfectly fine. Sure, maybe it’s not "natural" since humans—like every other living thing—have that biological drive to reproduce. But how does someone decide they just don't want to be a parent?
I hope one day we start prioritizing the reasons "against" it like this:
1. I'm not ready for the responsibility of raising a child, knowing I'll inevitably force my own biases on them while simultaneously robbing them of other potential paths. The thought of limiting someone else's choices that much actually terrifies me.
2. I realize the planet is already overcrowded and my own existence is basically a luxury.
3. I want a career; I don't want life to just pass me by.

It feels like that third point is usually the big one, which is pretty sad. It’s just as selfish as having kids just so you can brag about it to your family and friends.
granitetiger69 granitetiger69 Member
24 messages
joined Jan 2009
#54 ·
Alexander Adams94 said:What kind of shallow excuses are these? "I just want to get home from work, light up a cigarette, and have sex without anyone yelling at me." It’s as if those are somehow more creative pursuits than raising a child. Unless you're in a rock band with a career more demanding than changing damn diapers, what are we talking about here? You'll light a smoke and have some quiet time in bed—such a massive deal. The reasoning is just incredible: "A kid would get in my way because then I couldn't sit in my armchair, smoke, and sleep around without interruptions." As if you've written a masterpiece or recorded a legendary album and are far too creative to be bothered by a baby because your head is bursting with new ideas. Honestly, could you at least come up with reasons that show a slightly higher intellectual level than smoking after work and wanting peace and quiet? People create historical works of art and don't let dirty diapers or a crying infant stop them, yet apparently, a baby's cry is going to ruin your ability to smoke a cigarette and have some intimacy. Don't try to sell me those lines.

I guess there's truth to it, though. You do what you want with your life. Whether that's hooking up, smoking, writing books, or composing songs. ☕

Ashley Johnson6 said:I'm guessing the 88 in your handle is your birth year...

Just wait a few more years until those hormones and brain chemistry start kicking in and flip your whole perspective upside down. I know you feel like it's impossible right now, but we'll talk in 5-6-7 years...😉

And then you'll realize that everything you mentioned with such disgust is actually a huge joy, not a chore.

As for having kids... man, I don't know... I'm not a woman, I haven't lived it myself, I've just watched from the sidelines—and it sounds incredibly cliché, I know—but there isn't any experience in life that even comes close to it. None.

I'm the same age as her, and 26 is plenty of time to know if you want kids or not.

I want them, mostly because I want to raise a little being with someone I love—someone who's half me and half them.
I love him, and I want to watch him see what we build together.
It's interesting to me. It's like we're creating a little alien that's a mini version of us. 😬
And I think it'll be awesome for us to 🎉 travel, hit the beach, mess around, and watch movies together as a trio. It could honestly just be better.
And that phase where they're pooping, crying, and throwing up? That lasts maybe three years max. The rest of our lives we'll have together for the good stuff. 😍

But I respect people who don't feel that way. 👍
By the way, honey, discussions like this exist over on the women's forums. I think there are over a hundred pages of it. 🤔
George Kelly8 George Kelly8 Newcomer
4 messages
joined Mar 2015
#55 ·
electricbear222 said:I don't see myself ever having kids... I'm neither conventionally attractive nor wealthy, and frankly, it doesn't seem like anyone is interested in getting intimate with me.

Reminds me of infertility and IVF. People always go looking for some sign from above, but honestly, being sterile is about as clear a sign as you're gonna get—you don't need to have kids.
Alexander Adams94 Alexander Adams94 Active Member
79 messages
joined Dec 2014
#56 ·
redscout46, you’re a modern woman. You work hard, and after a long day on the job, you’ve earned the right to unwind with a few cigarettes and a guy. You check all the boxes for what a serious woman should be. Honestly, you gave me a chance to play the philosopher and share my thoughts on these modern, driven women. But redscout46, I’m just not feeling it. You work, you look effortless with a cigarette in hand, and you appreciate good sex. That sounds like a lot, yet I’m still not convinced. Is it just me, or does the idea of you being my mistress feel a little bit boring?
granitetiger69 granitetiger69 Member
24 messages
joined Jan 2009
#57 ·
George Kelly8 said:Reminds me of infertility and IVF. People always go looking for some sign from above, but honestly, being sterile is about as clear a sign as you're gonna get—you don't need to have kids.

image
wearyowl29 wearyowl29 Regular
715 messages
joined Feb 2014
#58 ·
Paul Thompson3 said:Kids are basically like drugs—they're great for a little while, but most of the time it’s just a mess and hard to walk away from. Don't do drugs, don't do kids.


Thought of the year right there!🤣
redscout46 redscout46 MemberOP
24 messages
joined Feb 2015
#59 ·
Alexander Adams94 said:redscout46, you’re a modern woman. You work hard, and after a long day on the job, you’ve earned the right to unwind with a few cigarettes and a guy. You check all the boxes for what a serious woman should be. Honestly, you gave me a chance to play the philosopher and share my thoughts on these modern, driven women. But redscout46, I’m just not feeling it. You work, you look effortless with a cigarette in hand, and you appreciate good sex. That sounds like a lot, yet I’m still not convinced. Is it just me, or does the idea of you being my mistress feel a little bit boring?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

There’s just this lingering sense of boredom when I consider the possibility of you being my mistress.

Good grief, oh my god! I actually burst into tears laughing.

And this guy too!!!
George Kelly8 George Kelly8 Newcomer
4 messages
joined Mar 2015
#60 ·
granitetiger69 said:image

Why obsess over something you physically can't do? IVF can drag on for years.
On adoption, YOU'RE RIGHT.

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