People who are choosing to be childfree

tab, can you believe what these two have cooked up? 🤣 I’m the one being called a loser while you’re just the mistress. 😳 😬

🤦

Look, ladies—brightviper22 and redscout46—your posts practically reek of bitterness, which makes your decisions perfectly understandable. Now, both Alexander Adams94 and I are cat people, though I actually deal with twenty of them 😁 and I make it a point never to equate children with pets. That kind of comparison is just irrational. Therefore, there is absolutely no need for any further discussion. 😉

Anthony Perez28 said:tab, can you believe what these two have cooked up? 🤣 I’m the one being called a loser while you’re just the mistress. 😳 😬

🤦

Look, ladies—brightviper22 and redscout46—your posts practically reek of bitterness, which makes your decisions perfectly understandable. Now, both Alexander Adams94 and I are cat people, though I actually deal with twenty of them 😁 and I make it a point never to equate children with pets. That kind of comparison is just irrational. Therefore, there is absolutely no need for any further discussion. 😉

🥱 🍿

I don't want children either—to be honest, I've always known deep down that motherhood just isn't in my nature. I simply don't possess those maternal instincts or feelings. Some of my girlfriends have kids, and the more time I spend with them, the more certain I feel about my own decision to remain childfree.

William Collins11 said:I don't want children either—to be honest, I've always known deep down that motherhood just isn't in my nature. I simply don't possess those maternal instincts or feelings. Some of my girlfriends have kids, and the more time I spend with them, the more certain I feel about my own decision to remain childfree.

There are plenty of us out there, 😍 🎉

I’m starting to give more thought to the idea that kids just aren't my thing. I mean, they're adorable and all—I'll definitely have my "aww" moments—but I'm honestly not sure I want to commit to that lifestyle. It feels like it might be a bit too much work.

It’s almost as if your job doesn't chain you down enough; then you go and find someone to keep you tethered for the rest of your life. To me, it sounds like some poorly designed government mandate. 🤷

Anthony Perez28 said:tab, can you believe what these two have cooked up? 🤣 I’m the one being called a loser while you’re just the mistress. 😳 😬

🤦

Look, ladies—brightviper22 and redscout46—your posts practically reek of bitterness, which makes your decisions perfectly understandable. Now, both Alexander Adams94 and I are cat people, though I actually deal with twenty of them 😁 and I make it a point never to equate children with pets. That kind of comparison is just irrational. Therefore, there is absolutely no need for any further discussion. 😉

"Bitterness"... isn't that just the convenient label used around here whenever someone happens to hold a perspective that doesn't align with yours? 🤦
Neither brightviper22, nor I, nor anyone else in this group actually has anything or anyone to be bitter about... unlike you two lost souls.

Steven Smith16 said:I’m starting to give more thought to the idea that kids just aren't my thing. I mean, they're adorable and all—I'll definitely have my "aww" moments—but I'm honestly not sure I want to commit to that lifestyle. It feels like it might be a bit too much work.

It’s almost as if your job doesn't chain you down enough; then you go and find someone to keep you tethered for the rest of your life. To me, it sounds like some poorly designed government mandate. 🤷

Well, sure... if you say so.
And I’ll say it again. Once word gets out about the pregnancy, some people will just vanish. They’ll bail the second they hear the news. Others? They’ll swarm like flies, clueless and aimless. That old peace is gone. No more curling up next to someone to watch a movie. No more calling the guys over to grab a few drinks and just relax. It's all changed.

redscout46 said:"Bitterness"... isn't that just the convenient label used around here whenever someone happens to hold a perspective that doesn't align with yours? 🤦
Neither brightviper22, nor I, nor anyone else in this group actually has anything or anyone to be bitter about... unlike you two lost souls.

Just be careful those lungs don't get bitter—imagine if they were your child's lungs you were looking after. Or is that not even a thought you'd have?

redscout46 said:"Bitterness"... isn't that just the convenient label used around here whenever someone happens to hold a perspective that doesn't align with yours? 🤦
Neither brightviper22, nor I, nor anyone else in this group actually has anything or anyone to be bitter about... unlike you two lost souls.

I don't get this "bitterness" accusation either—honestly, people just don't want the responsibility of raising kids, they don't want to make sacrifices, and there's nothing wrong with that. Why should they be bitter?

I'm not bitter, and I'm certainly not jealous of my friends who have children—I'm genuinely happy for them, truly—but I know for a fact I wouldn't want to be in their shoes.

Ashley Johnson6 said:People just love to complain, really. There's this pervasive culture of negativity here in the States—if things are going great, people find a reason to whine, and if things are going south, they definitely don't shut up.

That whole habit of judging parenting in front of others is deeply ingrained in our culture, but honestly, it’s just pure nonsense.

Yeah, being a parent is hard—it’s incredibly tough being a mom during those first couple of years—but ask any (mentally stable) woman if she’d want to hit a reset button and go back to her old life... nobody would take that deal.

The beautiful moments far outweigh the "bad" ones, and even those rough patches? In a few decades—actually, in a few weeks for me—we'll be looking back on them with nothing but nostalgia...

Basically, people are just talking trash.

Even if she realized she made a mistake, she wouldn't admit it publicly because of attitudes like this.
Imagine calling someone mentally unstable just because they made different choices in their life. Even with parenthood.

Ashley Johnson6 said:I'm guessing the 88 in your handle is your birth year...

Just wait a few more years until those hormones and brain chemistry start kicking in and flip your whole perspective upside down. I know you feel like it's impossible right now, but we'll talk in 5-6-7 years...😉

And then you'll realize that everything you mentioned with such disgust is actually a huge joy, not a chore.

As for having kids... man, I don't know... I'm not a woman, I haven't lived it myself, I've just watched from the sidelines—and it sounds incredibly cliché, I know—but there isn't any experience in life that even comes close to it. None.

I have to address this post.🤣
Generally speaking, decisions made based on hormones aren't exactly known for being smart.🤷
When you're making a decision that alters your entire life, you consult your brain, not some other organ. You need to be rational, not driven by impulses.

John Baker

John Baker said:Even if she realized she made a mistake, she wouldn't admit it publicly because of attitudes like this.
Imagine calling someone mentally unstable just because they made different choices in their life. Even with parenthood.

I have to address this post.🤣
Generally speaking, decisions made based on hormones aren't exactly known for being smart.🤷
When you're making a decision that alters your entire life, you consult your brain, not some other organ. You need to be rational, not driven by impulses.

Precisely; the issue is that certain people don't bother using their heads at all, only realizing they actually needed them once the damage is already done. Not every single time, mind you, but far too often for comfort.

William Collins11 said:I don't get this "bitterness" accusation either—honestly, people just don't want the responsibility of raising kids, they don't want to make sacrifices, and there's nothing wrong with that. Why should they be bitter?

I'm not bitter, and I'm certainly not jealous of my friends who have children—I'm genuinely happy for them, truly—but I know for a fact I wouldn't want to be in their shoes.

That's exactly it. 👍

Honestly, I just can’t wrap my head around people who are desperate to have kids, yet feel the need to drift over to these specific threads to lecture everyone else. They have an entire dedicated parenting subforum at their fingertips—literally a whole community of people just like them—so why bother coming here? Do the childfree folks ever wander over to the parenting boards just to tell everyone how much they hate children? Of course not. It’s just not how it works.😁

And then, predictably, they start acting all high and mighty about "bitterness." I mean, really, who is actually bitter here? It feels like they’re obsessed with the childfree crowd, lurking in our spaces just so they can chime in with their sermons about how children are "blessings from above" or whatever. Look, that’s a lovely sentiment, truly, but you’re having kids for *you*, not for me. If you want to have fifteen children, go right ahead—more than can handle, really—but leave the rest of us alone. Everyone is entitled to different paths in life, isn't that obvious enough?

Ashley Johnson6 said:People just love to complain, really. There's this pervasive culture of negativity here in the States—if things are going great, people find a reason to whine, and if things are going south, they definitely don't shut up.

That whole habit of judging parenting in front of others is deeply ingrained in our culture, but honestly, it’s just pure nonsense.

Yeah, being a parent is hard—it’s incredibly tough being a mom during those first couple of years—but ask any (mentally stable) woman if she’d want to hit a reset button and go back to her old life... nobody would take that deal.

The beautiful moments far outweigh the "bad" ones, and even those rough patches? In a few decades—actually, in a few weeks for me—we'll be looking back on them with nothing but nostalgia...

Basically, people are just talking trash.

Infinitesimal.

John Baker said:Parenting is treated like some universal constant that nobody dares to question. People just have kids because that's how the world works. Honestly, how many people can actually give a meaningful answer to why they have children? Most excuses boil down to vague abstractions like "I love kids" (though they usually mean *their* kids), the basic biological urge, or even the ego trip of trying to achieve immortality through genetics...🙄
When you express a negative view to someone with kids, you aren't just sharing an opinion; you're essentially invalidating every sacrifice they've ever made and attacking their core values. People hate that.
I hear these predictable phrases from parents all the time: "Just wait until it's your turn," "You'll see," or "Enjoy your freedom while it lasts." It’s incredibly negative. They rarely talk about how beautiful it actually is.😛
My take? There's definitely a heavy dose of envy toward the freedom people have when they don't carry those responsibilities.
On top of that, there's this constant emphasis on martyrdom. You get lines like, "I sacrificed everything for you," which is just pure manipulation used to demand repayment for a choice they made.
There is so much toxicity baked into the whole concept that I find it impossible to view parenting as anything inherently beautiful.

I have zero desire for children. My partner is more than enough for me. To me, a child would be an optional addition to an existing relationship, not some essential component without which the relationship couldn't function.
I'm certain my partnership would suffer if we went down that road. For us, it's just the two of us plus a cat or a dog, and I'm perfectly happy.😬

Spot on. Personally, I feel like I burned out during my own upbringing. I was never really a kid; I was always the overresponsible one, essentially acting as a parent to my own parents. I simply don't have the capacity left to provide everything a child needs while simultaneously fighting for my own existence, health, and happiness. I know it isn't sustainable, so we won't have kids. We both had similar experiences growing up. But yes, when people with children take our choice as a personal insult, they can be incredibly rude. Honestly, repulsive.

boldnomad45 said:Spot on. Personally, I feel like I burned out during my own upbringing. I was never really a kid; I was always the overresponsible one, essentially acting as a parent to my own parents. I simply don't have the capacity left to provide everything a child needs while simultaneously fighting for my own existence, health, and happiness. I know it isn't sustainable, so we won't have kids. We both had similar experiences growing up. But yes, when people with children take our choice as a personal insult, they can be incredibly rude. Honestly, repulsive.

And then there's the judgment—being called selfish just because you don't want kids...🙂🙂

The issue is that most people are incredibly superficial; they focus entirely on appearances and follow the crowd because they’re afraid to stand out.

When I look at it...
Do I want children?

To be honest, there isn't an easy answer.
Right now, my priorities lie elsewhere; it's not even on my radar.

Perhaps one day, if I find the right partner. But if we are talking about bringing a child into this world, that person would need to be truly exceptional for me to consider co-parenting with them.

Plenty of people live perfectly fulfilling lives without kids...
Life shouldn't be lived under the pressure of perceived obligations.
I am young, and I have the luxury of deciding my own path right now.
It would be lovely, certainly, but only time will tell if I find someone whose DNA would blend with mine to create something beautiful. 🙂

I am firmly against third-party interference—specifically when people pressure couples into having kids by playing on a woman's maternal instincts. A child requires stability first and foremost.

This might sound harsh.
But some people should probably get a pet before they even think about planning a family.
If you can't afford to feed a dog, or if both partners are unemployed...
then you certainly shouldn't be planning for a child.
The lack of responsibility in some people is frustrating.

George Cook said:The issue is that most people are incredibly superficial; they focus entirely on appearances and follow the crowd because they’re afraid to stand out.

When I look at it...
Do I want children?

To be honest, there isn't an easy answer.
Right now, my priorities lie elsewhere; it's not even on my radar.

Perhaps one day, if I find the right partner. But if we are talking about bringing a child into this world, that person would need to be truly exceptional for me to consider co-parenting with them.

Plenty of people live perfectly fulfilling lives without kids...
Life shouldn't be lived under the pressure of perceived obligations.
I am young, and I have the luxury of deciding my own path right now.
It would be lovely, certainly, but only time will tell if I find someone whose DNA would blend with mine to create something beautiful. 🙂

I am firmly against third-party interference—specifically when people pressure couples into having kids by playing on a woman's maternal instincts. A child requires stability first and foremost.

This might sound harsh.
But some people should probably get a pet before they even think about planning a family.
If you can't afford to feed a dog, or if both partners are unemployed...
then you certainly shouldn't be planning for a child.
The lack of responsibility in some people is frustrating.

Beautifully put. I agree with every word.

And it isn't harsh. People need to learn how to handle responsibilities first. I went through a phase with horses—watching the hooves, carrying feed, covering them with blankets, plus everything else. If you can manage that and still make it to the ER in a hurry, then maybe. A child is a hundred times harder, and it'll easily cost you $30,000.

redscout46 said:"Bitterness"... isn't that just the convenient label used around here whenever someone happens to hold a perspective that doesn't align with yours? 🤦
Neither brightviper22, nor I, nor anyone else in this group actually has anything or anyone to be bitter about... unlike you two lost souls.

I actually had to start avoiding certain women altogether because they wouldn't stop nagging me about getting married and having kids—it was driving me crazy! So, I just stepped back from those circles and solved the problem myself 😁 ...though, granted, there are plenty of brilliant women out there who happen to be moms, but they aren't busy lecturing other women on how they "must" have children. They're... well, they're intelligent enough to respect everyone else's life choices, you know?

George Cook said:The issue is that most people are incredibly superficial; they focus entirely on appearances and follow the crowd because they’re afraid to stand out.

When I look at it...
Do I want children?

To be honest, there isn't an easy answer.
Right now, my priorities lie elsewhere; it's not even on my radar.

Perhaps one day, if I find the right partner. But if we are talking about bringing a child into this world, that person would need to be truly exceptional for me to consider co-parenting with them.

Plenty of people live perfectly fulfilling lives without kids...
Life shouldn't be lived under the pressure of perceived obligations.
I am young, and I have the luxury of deciding my own path right now.
It would be lovely, certainly, but only time will tell if I find someone whose DNA would blend with mine to create something beautiful. 🙂

I am firmly against third-party interference—specifically when people pressure couples into having kids by playing on a woman's maternal instincts. A child requires stability first and foremost.

This might sound harsh.
But some people should probably get a pet before they even think about planning a family.
If you can't afford to feed a dog, or if both partners are unemployed...
then you certainly shouldn't be planning for a child.
The lack of responsibility in some people is frustrating.

I agree with your post and share your views.
Unfortunately, it seems like that mindset is still deeply rooted here in America—if you aren't married by, I don't know, 30 or 35, and haven't had kids (ideally two, a boy and a girl, right?), then you've achieved nothing and you're just a selfish careerist. Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit, but I don't doubt there are people who would agree with that thesis...
Personally, I'm in the same boat as you. One day, if everything falls into place, it would be nice.. But just a few years ago, I categorically refused the idea of kids because I simply didn't think I was that type and couldn't see myself as anyone's parent 🙂 As it happens, as I get older, my opinion is shifting, but regarding people who don't want kids—I have nothing negative to say about them. I don't think they are bad or selfish. In fact, I think if someone doesn't want children, it's better that they don't have them, right? If someone doesn't feel that urge, doesn't think it will fulfill them, and doesn't see themselves in that role—why go through with it? You can't just say, "Fine, I'll try it and see what happens" 🤣

Dana Davis5 said:I actually had to start avoiding certain women altogether because they wouldn't stop nagging me about getting married and having kids—it was driving me crazy! So, I just stepped back from those circles and solved the problem myself 😁 ...though, granted, there are plenty of brilliant women out there who happen to be moms, but they aren't busy lecturing other women on how they "must" have children. They're... well, they're intelligent enough to respect everyone else's life choices, you know?

Haha, nobody is nagging me to marry yet, but for a while, everyone was really pushing me to find a boyfriend 🙄I’m honestly just enjoying being single right now, and the idea of jumping back into anything isn't even on my radar... I don't feel ready for that kind of thing. And look, I get that most of them didn't mean any harm, but I don't know... this constant pressure feels stupid. I'm not going to force myself to change how I feel just to fit someone else's version of what's "smart" or "best"...