Extended stays - what are your experiences?

I mean, yeah, I guess that assignment is just part of the curriculum, who knows
Maybe some teacher can weigh in 😁

(I almost wrote my friend 😵 )

urbantinker8 said:It’s just kind of a hassle, I guess.
If school lets out for both him and me around 11:30 or maybe even a bit earlier, I can't really just swing by and grab him on my way, since I'd have to head straight home first, and then I'm just stuck waiting around for two or three, maybe even four hours before I can actually go pick him up.🙄

At the start of the school year, we were required to provide an estimated pickup time for our child, though it’s never actually been an issue if they need to come home early... essentially, if classes end at noon and lunch isn't served until 3:00 PM, those who aren't enrolled in the after-school program head out for lunch, while the kids staying for the program stick around until roughly 1:00 or 2:00 PM. Until then, they spend their time out on the playground. Once lunch is over, they sit down to tackle their homework. Personally, I rarely let him come home before his assignments are finished, as ensuring he gets that schoolwork done was the primary reason I signed him up for the after-school care in the first place.

That sounds like a solid plan.👍

I mean, it’s not really something I need to worry about right this second, but I suppose I’ll end up asking some friends how things actually work at their kids' schools.
It probably varies quite a bit from one school district to another, too.

For us, the main reason we'd consider it is just that every other week I’d find myself sitting home alone until somewhere around 4:30 or 5:00 PM, and I guess that feels like a bit much for a first grader to handle on their own...😢
On those alternating weeks, though, I could easily swing by and pick them up before or after dinner, so they could just tackle their homework at home.

rowdypanther12 said:If I remember correctly, they won't be home by midnight, but they should be back around 2 or 3.

If they're staying in the daycare program, they can leave as early as 3:30 PM or as late as 5:00 PM.

Kate Morgan14 said:If they're staying in the daycare program, they can leave as early as 3:30 PM or as late as 5:00 PM.

In my experience, if you as a parent give the green light, the child can leave whenever you see fit; however, most parents actually prefer to keep their kids at the center since they’re already there and can get a head start on their homework. If you specifically instruct the teacher that you want your child picked up earlier, she will certainly accommodate that request without any hesitation whatsoever.

driftingtrucker17 said:At the start of the school year, we were required to provide an estimated pickup time for our child, though it’s never actually been an issue if they need to come home early... essentially, if classes end at noon and lunch isn't served until 3:00 PM, those who aren't enrolled in the after-school program head out for lunch, while the kids staying for the program stick around until roughly 1:00 or 2:00 PM. Until then, they spend their time out on the playground. Once lunch is over, they sit down to tackle their homework. Personally, I rarely let him come home before his assignments are finished, as ensuring he gets that schoolwork done was the primary reason I signed him up for the after-school care in the first place.

I genuinely can't wrap my head around the idea that people use after-school programs just to get the homework out of the way. If it were up to me, I’d be thrilled to pick my kid up right when school lets out, bring them home for lunch, and then sit down to help them with their work afterward. That’s what being a parent is about. It isn't about outsourcing your responsibilities so you don't have to deal with schoolwork or your child later in the day just because "it's already done" at school.☕

What’s the actual deal with parents helping with homework? Is it even their job?
And like, does it make you a bad parent if you just don't have the mental energy to tackle math problems after a brutal workday and a million other responsibilities? Maybe it's just too much.

In my house, "helping" was basically just asking, "Did you finish your work?" and me saying, "Yeah!" and then we'd move on. That was pretty much it. I think that's how it worked back when I was in fifth grade, at least.
Back then, I'd go to after-school care for those first four years of elementary school. I’d get home around 4 PM—my parents would pick me up from work—then lunch, and then just... chilling for the rest of the day. If I remember right, I didn't even carry a backpack home most weeks. We all had our own little cubbies in the classroom, so if you needed a book, you just grabbed it there.

Raymond Jones8 said:What’s the actual deal with parents helping with homework? Is it even their job?
And like, does it make you a bad parent if you just don't have the mental energy to tackle math problems after a brutal workday and a million other responsibilities? Maybe it's just too much.

In my house, "helping" was basically just asking, "Did you finish your work?" and me saying, "Yeah!" and then we'd move on. That was pretty much it. I think that's how it worked back when I was in fifth grade, at least.
Back then, I'd go to after-school care for those first four years of elementary school. I’d get home around 4 PM—my parents would pick me up from work—then lunch, and then just... chilling for the rest of the day. If I remember right, I didn't even carry a backpack home most weeks. We all had our own little cubbies in the classroom, so if you needed a book, you just grabbed it there.

I feel like we’ve already covered this ground—yeah, sure, help with the homework, help them study, basically spoon-feed them through school just to inflate their grades beyond their actual ability. Because clearly, that’s the foolproof way to guarantee a successful life later on, right? You know, when they’re 29 years old, sitting there unemployed with a degree from some overpriced private college, just waiting for their parents to pull some strings and land them a cushy government job in some mid-sized city, maybe something like an "Assistant Director of Sustainable Urban Development Initiatives" or whatever trendy buzzword is floating around the local council these days. That's how the script goes, isn't it? 😁

On top of all that, you really can't tell what's going on anymore; the curriculum today is lightyears more intense than anything we had to deal with back in the day. And look, I get it, kids nowadays are sharper than ever—like little geniuses—but if you try to connect those two facts, the math just doesn't add up. 🙂

Exactly. That’s part of the equation. We all finish a workday completely drained, so you don't just walk through the door and relax. You have to get the kids outside, run errands, handle the grocery shopping—it never ends. Even helping with homework requires active parenting. At least for first graders, until they actually develop a sense of discipline. Honestly, I find it presumptuous to expect a teacher to wrap everything up by noon and then act like parents should have zero clue what their child is actually studying or doing in class. And sure, you have to let them learn to manage their own responsibilities, but you also have to guide them toward that independence. By fifth grade, if someone is still asking you if your kid finished their homework, it’s already too late for those kinds of questions.

Man, this whole black-and-white debate on these forums is just so exhausting...🙂

So, here’s my take on the homework situation...

I mean, I don't think it would be remotely normal if a parent sat down and did every single assignment with their kid, or—even worse—just did the work for them. It doesn't really matter if we're talking about a first grader or a high schooler.

At the same time, though, I guess it also isn't exactly normal to have absolutely no clue what your child is actually working on or learning during the school day.

It’s all about finding that middle ground, people. Just a little balance.☕

Whether a kid is in an after-school program or not, there's nothing wrong with checking over a first grader's homework, asking if they actually understood the material, maybe having a quick chat about it if things seem fuzzy, or stepping in a bit if you think it might give them some confidence or help them build better study habits.
As time goes on, I suppose you should gradually step back, reducing how much you help with the actual writing and checking, until the kid is fully capable of handling it all on their own.

We shouldn't turn every little assignment into some massive academic crisis.😉

And honestly, it makes me a little sad to hear that the main reason someone uses after-school care is just so their kid can get their homework finished while at the center.😢
After-school programs exist so a seven-year-old isn't just left to fend for themselves for half the day while their parents are at work.

edit: sorry, nosorog, I think we were typing at the exact same time, so could you please move these posts over to that other thread?

Karen Richardson3 said:I feel like we’ve already covered this ground—yeah, sure, help with the homework, help them study, basically spoon-feed them through school just to inflate their grades beyond their actual ability. Because clearly, that’s the foolproof way to guarantee a successful life later on, right? You know, when they’re 29 years old, sitting there unemployed with a degree from some overpriced private college, just waiting for their parents to pull some strings and land them a cushy government job in some mid-sized city, maybe something like an "Assistant Director of Sustainable Urban Development Initiatives" or whatever trendy buzzword is floating around the local council these days. That's how the script goes, isn't it? 😁

On top of all that, you really can't tell what's going on anymore; the curriculum today is lightyears more intense than anything we had to deal with back in the day. And look, I get it, kids nowadays are sharper than ever—like little geniuses—but if you try to connect those two facts, the math just doesn't add up. 🙂

🤣🤣🤣
You're totally off base here, but I just couldn't help myself!

Paul Scott7 said:Exactly. That’s part of the equation. We all finish a workday completely drained, so you don't just walk through the door and relax. You have to get the kids outside, run errands, handle the grocery shopping—it never ends. Even helping with homework requires active parenting. At least for first graders, until they actually develop a sense of discipline. Honestly, I find it presumptuous to expect a teacher to wrap everything up by noon and then act like parents should have zero clue what their child is actually studying or doing in class. And sure, you have to let them learn to manage their own responsibilities, but you also have to guide them toward that independence. By fifth grade, if someone is still asking you if your kid finished their homework, it’s already too late for those kinds of questions.

Homework is the kid's job, not the parent's.
If the child is already in an after-school program (mostly because they can't just be left home alone or wandering the neighborhood from 11:30 to 4:30), it seems logical to me that they should finish their homework there at school.

I’m actually hoping they’ll be allowed to leave their books at school, just like we used to. Those backpacks aren't exactly light, and I can't imagine carrying their gear for them!

When choosing an after-school program, my biggest priority is physical activity and getting the kids some fresh air (assuming the city air is actually fresh!). I don't want them sitting around all day.
Actually, I’m a little worried because I heard some of the after-school instructors aren't big fans of "unstructured outdoor time," and apparently, some parents support that too. It sounds like they try to cram academic activities into that "structured" time, or even punish the whole class by keeping them inside until everyone finishes their homework...

Anyway, why am I stressing myself out about this a whole year in advance? 🤔
And I guess that big education reform from 2016 is just going to roll right along, and everything will magically turn out perfect. 🙂

Sure, I agree that homework is ultimately the child's responsibility. But as a parent of a first grader, it’s my job to look over their shoulder—at least during this initial stage—and provide some basic guidance on whether they're actually on the right track. Eventually, you have to step back and let them manage their own schoolwork.
I honestly have no idea where you all got the impression from my posts that I’m suggesting parents should constantly hover over their kids.
And frankly, the whole system seems flawed. It makes zero sense to leave textbooks at school when the kid is expected to study from them. If the books stay at the classroom, what exactly are they supposed to be studying?

Paul Scott7 said:Sure, I agree that homework is ultimately the child's responsibility. But as a parent of a first grader, it’s my job to look over their shoulder—at least during this initial stage—and provide some basic guidance on whether they're actually on the right track. Eventually, you have to step back and let them manage their own schoolwork.
I honestly have no idea where you all got the impression from my posts that I’m suggesting parents should constantly hover over their kids.
And frankly, the whole system seems flawed. It makes zero sense to leave textbooks at school when the kid is expected to study from them. If the books stay at the classroom, what exactly are they supposed to be studying?

I find the whole policy of leaving books at school a bit ridiculous myself.🤷
It's not even really because the kid won't be able to "study" at home—because, let's be real, there isn't much heavy lifting to do in first grade 😁, rather it's because parents end up having absolutely no clue what's actually happening in the classroom (and I know for a lot of people, that's probably preferred 😛).

Personally, I love that they don't have to lug their backpacks home if they’re staying for after-school care... everything gets done there—homework included—so there's zero point in hauling that bag back and forth. If she needs extra practice in the evening, it's just reading a book or some worksheets I print out from the web. Then, over the weekend, I just check her backpack, books, and notebooks to stay on top of what she's learning and how she's progressing.

I think you're conflating two different groups here—kids in after-school programs versus those who aren't. In our program, all the work is handled on-site. Once next year rolls around and she isn't enrolled in the program anymore, she'll be bringing her bag home and doing homework independently—though, of course, I'll be right there to supervise and help whenever necessary.

Checking homework... I’m just not really following the logic here.

I mean, sure, if a kid doesn't know an answer, they should show it. But checking it just to correct it on the spot?

Isn't a teacher's actual job to grade the work? Isn't the whole point of learning to make mistakes, then getting constructive feedback from the instructor who assigned the task in the first place?

And honestly, I don't see the sense in leaving their backpack behind either. Our kid will be bringing their bag home with them; let them pack what they need every morning. It gives them that mindset that they're actually heading to school, not just going on some field trip.

Look, you can't exactly expect a first grader to be fully independent—it’s just not realistic. They need time to adjust to the routine and find their footing... In my house, my kid still asks for help when a problem doesn't make sense. If I see she’s made a mistake, I'll step in, point out the error, and explain the reasoning behind it. Plus, let's be honest—teachers aren't always checking every single assignment they hand out anyway.

Kate Morgan14 said:Look, you can't exactly expect a first grader to be fully independent—it’s just not realistic. They need time to adjust to the routine and find their footing... In my house, my kid still asks for help when a problem doesn't make sense. If I see she’s made a mistake, I'll step in, point out the error, and explain the reasoning behind it. Plus, let's be honest—teachers aren't always checking every single assignment they hand out anyway.

Given how things work in first grade, this should actually be illegal.

I remember back in the day, we used to go through assignments together in class—one student would be at the chalkboard, another would be presenting, and the teacher would rotate through them while monitoring.

Independence is something kids should strive for, and they *must* have it if the work is actually leveled correctly for them. Sure, you can step in if they are truly, genuinely struggling, but you have to give them the space to figure it out on their own first.

silentraven6 said:Checking homework... I’m just not really following the logic here.

I mean, sure, if a kid doesn't know an answer, they should show it. But checking it just to correct it on the spot?

Isn't a teacher's actual job to grade the work? Isn't the whole point of learning to make mistakes, then getting constructive feedback from the instructor who assigned the task in the first place?

And honestly, I don't see the sense in leaving their backpack behind either. Our kid will be bringing their bag home with them; let them pack what they need every morning. It gives them that mindset that they're actually heading to school, not just going on some field trip.

And let's not even get started on the fact that, given how incredibly low literacy levels have become among Americans lately, there's honestly no way more than 5% of parents could even correct homework that requires actual writing.
When it comes to math, things are slightly better—I think most people can handle basic addition and subtraction—but the majority, say, don't really know how to divide without reaching for a calculator, right?

So yeah... I don't really know what to make of any of this. In principle, I agree that a kid starting school needs some supervision at first, especially if they're, I don't know, let's call them "irresponsible" types.

But I'm curious to hear from parents with school-aged kids—how many of you just stop hovering after the first grade? Because everyone uses that same old excuse: "Oh, they're just little first-graders, they're so small and sweet and need help navigating this cruel world."
In reality, though, the parents I know are still keeping tabs on their kids even through high school.
Just recently, my wife was complaining about spending her entire weekend studying alongside the kids. Our daughter is a freshman in prep school (meaning she finished middle school as an honors student), and she tells me, "Thank goodness Dad still remembers his chemistry and physics."
Now, I tend to love making generalizations, so I pretty much consider all those parents idiots.
Since they're politically active too, I see them as a perfect example of why this country is the mess it is.

edit: we're drifting off-topic here; I think this whole thing should stay under "grades for first graders." Or maybe it's "studying with kids," since we seem to veer into off-topic territory about that every five minutes. 😁

Karen Richardson3 said:And let's not even get started on the fact that, given how incredibly low literacy levels have become among Americans lately, there's honestly no way more than 5% of parents could even correct homework that requires actual writing.
When it comes to math, things are slightly better—I think most people can handle basic addition and subtraction—but the majority, say, don't really know how to divide without reaching for a calculator, right?

So yeah... I don't really know what to make of any of this. In principle, I agree that a kid starting school needs some supervision at first, especially if they're, I don't know, let's call them "irresponsible" types.

But I'm curious to hear from parents with school-aged kids—how many of you just stop hovering after the first grade? Because everyone uses that same old excuse: "Oh, they're just little first-graders, they're so small and sweet and need help navigating this cruel world."
In reality, though, the parents I know are still keeping tabs on their kids even through high school.
Just recently, my wife was complaining about spending her entire weekend studying alongside the kids. Our daughter is a freshman in prep school (meaning she finished middle school as an honors student), and she tells me, "Thank goodness Dad still remembers his chemistry and physics."
Now, I tend to love making generalizations, so I pretty much consider all those parents idiots.
Since they're politically active too, I see them as a perfect example of why this country is the mess it is.

edit: we're drifting off-topic here; I think this whole thing should stay under "grades for first graders." Or maybe it's "studying with kids," since we seem to veer into off-topic territory about that every five minutes. 😁

Laughing Man, Daisy, you just described my absolute worst nightmare. Honestly, I think I once had a dream where I spent an entire weekend tutoring a high schooler.🤣

I also think we need a new thread, but it isn't easy not to bring this up when discussing what staying at home means.

silentraven6 said:Checking homework... I’m just not really following the logic here.

I mean, sure, if a kid doesn't know an answer, they should show it. But checking it just to correct it on the spot?

Isn't a teacher's actual job to grade the work? Isn't the whole point of learning to make mistakes, then getting constructive feedback from the instructor who assigned the task in the first place?

And honestly, I don't see the sense in leaving their backpack behind either. Our kid will be bringing their bag home with them; let them pack what they need every morning. It gives them that mindset that they're actually heading to school, not just going on some field trip.

I don't really mean obsessively checking every single detail from A to Z, but rather just that specific thing: if a kid asks you to walk them through a problem or explain a concept, maybe you just do it.
It probably won't happen every single day or for every subject, and honestly, the sooner they learn to fly on their own, the better it is for everyone involved—both for the kid and for you, I suppose.

But if the textbooks just sit there in the living room and nothing actually happens, you aren't getting any real feedback at all, other than just seeing a grade on a report card once in a while.