How do I break free from my own illusions?

ambercrane722 said:Who the hell knows what's actually rattling around in his brain... maybe he’s stuck thinking about how much you used to love him, or maybe the guy just has a thing for some twisted BDSM drama. For all we know, he’s out there chasing every skirt in town, or honestly, he might not give a damn about you unless it involves getting laid. Who can say? And here you are, losing sleep over it. He might not even realize you're in the room. You'd need to run a full FBI profile on him to figure it out, but let's be real—that's a tall order for people like us who basically live in our own little bubbles, though I guess if you put in the work, you might crack the code eventually.

I don't even know... he isn't crazy, he just has these super rigid principles. The real kicker is that I actually love him because of them, yet he won't go for me specifically because of those exact same rules... it's such a total paradox. If he didn't have those strict ways about him, I wouldn't love him quite this way, and then he wouldn't even be the same guy... just a complete contradiction...
hahah if only he would just loosen up a little when it comes to me 😂

Anyway... he's not really the main topic here.
He's actually a good guy, seriously—honestly, he's better than 90% of the people I know.
If anyone has an issue with him, they can take it up with me.
First off, how do you even lose your mind like this over someone when it's so obvious that nothing is ever going to happen with him?

It's just not meant to be for me...

mistypanther98 said:Wait, did he disappear because you were just a distraction, or was he actually terrified that seeing you in person would shatter his little fantasy?

Honestly... I'm not even sure... it could be both...
Maybe I was just some fun little distraction for him (actually, let's be real, it definitely was)
But hey, what am I even doing overthinking this right now...
Was I just a good time for him? Yeah, most likely.

What exactly did you see in him?

What was it about him that made you fall?

So, do you even have any dreams of your own, shadowheron49? Honestly, stop chasing some fantasy and some guy who—if he even gives you the time of day—is just going to expect you to be the launchpad for his own ego because he knows how much you worship him. Trust me, guys like that are everywhere; once they realize they’ve got a woman totally devoted to them, they’ll just use her as a stepping stone to hit their own goals and ambitions. Most men are just wired that way, believe me... they chase their own North Star and just want a sidekick to help them get there. If there’s actual love, sure, maybe you share a vision, but otherwise? Who is this dude anyway? You need to do your homework and really think about what you actually want out of life. Just imagine if he actually decided to settle down with you—would you even be happy? Ugh, the misery that follows is real. You’ve basically fallen for the exact thing you’re missing in yourself: the drive to go after your own ambitions, your own dreams, and your own unique identity. Once you finally become that person, you're gonna get bored of everything you see in him right now. That’s why so many women in this country don't bother looking for a partner at all... unless it's for pure, unadulterated love. And let's be real, pure love is the only thing that actually matters and the only true ideal, while everything else is just a massive distraction.

shadowheron49 said:You definitely picked the wrong thread for this, but man, you nailed the description of the guy I'm currently dealing with—not him, me, you little brat 😂

I have no clue what that is... maybe masochism?
just a totally warped idea of love... something super twisted and probably really hard to "fix"...

Something tells me—just from skimming through this whole mess—that you're both just masochists at heart. Like, you're out here suffering for him, and he's out there suffering for someone else. 👎

And honestly? You’ll probably just keep hunting for the next person to pine after—someone more dominant, someone stronger, someone "successful"—someone who at least pretends to be perfect. Because let's face it, nobody's actually perfect, but since you don't really love yourselves or see your own worth, you try to make up the difference through someone else.

Anyway, still haven't gotten an answer to my question. 😁

mistypanther98 said:What exactly did you see in him?

What was it about him that made you fall?

It’s just how incredibly straightforward he is—he doesn't put on any acts, and you always know exactly where you stand because when he makes a promise, he sticks to it. He can be stubborn as hell and pretty intense, but there’s this softness to him too... like, he has such a huge heart, and seeing anything unfair really sets him off like a wildfire, though he cools down pretty quick.
And if he’s wrong, he actually owns up to it instead of being one of those idiots who just doubles down on everything regardless of the facts.
He has this unique kind of intelligence; if he tells you something, you can take it to the bank because he’ll back it up.
He treats everyone exactly the same and never plays the suck-up, and even though he loves me, he won't sugarcoat things when I mess up, but he only does it because he wants what’s best for me.
Honestly, his advice has saved me from myself more than a few times.

He isn't addicted to anything on this planet; it’s almost like... he’s just built differently.
He won't eat meat because he's sensitive about animals, he doesn't smoke, he hits the gym, avoids sweets, and stays away from basically 90% of what people think is "good food"—for him, just some salad is plenty. 😂
He uses Training Inc. to master his willpower and keeps total control over all his impulses... honestly, he’s just independent. Not even dependent on love.
He really has no time for modern society.
He’s gorgeous... like, angelically beautiful, and he definitely has plenty of opportunities to just "mess around," but he’s looking for something real and won't compromise on his principles, so... while waiting for someone like that, he's become pretty disillusioned with women.

He is incredibly smart.
His intuition is insane, like he can see right through you, so trying to lie to him is pretty much impossible.

He's simple. Positive.
He has this soothing, gentle voice... paired with a rock-solid backbone.
He's got a sense of humor... and a massive heart... he’s forgiven my countless outbursts (which were totally my fault), but hey...
He truly has a giant heart and a pure soul...

He’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met.
I fell for his simplicity most of all; talking to him is just so easy.
He listens way more than he talks..
He really thinks before he speaks... he won't just blurt something out and leave me reeling.
He can be sooo harsh sometimes, like, seriously brutal to the point of tears, but... but it’s never without a good reason...
Because I’m definitely no angel myself... I know I could be pretty rude and go overboard... thank God I wasn't closer to him back then 😂
But after half an hour passes, you can talk to him again.
You just have to let him cool off and settle it.
He doesn't hold grudges.

Forget about him, just grind for your own dreams and let fate handle the rest. It’s not like he’s some one-in-a-million legend; there are plenty of guys out there just like him... you're just blinded because you've got it bad for him right now.

George Clark19 said:Something tells me—just from skimming through this whole mess—that you're both just masochists at heart. Like, you're out here suffering for him, and he's out there suffering for someone else. 👎

And honestly? You’ll probably just keep hunting for the next person to pine after—someone more dominant, someone stronger, someone "successful"—someone who at least pretends to be perfect. Because let's face it, nobody's actually perfect, but since you don't really love yourselves or see your own worth, you try to make up the difference through someone else.

Anyway, still haven't gotten an answer to my question. 😁

😁 Hey, I am definitely not a masochist, this whole thing is just absolutely killing me... seriously...
I just saw in him exactly—and I mean *exactly*—what I need to fall in love, to cherish, and for it to last forever.
Because... I've never really done the whole "love at first sight" thing... I never felt those wild, overwhelming emotions before... but he just has that spark, that trigger... it’s simple... even if it feels totally weird and confusing why I feel like he's meant 😂 to be my soulmate (ugh, I'd die of embarrassment if I actually said that out loud)... how is it possible that I feel this way and he doesn't?

I can't make heads or tails of this love.

It'd honestly be better to just stay single and skip all this drama.

😁 Wait, what question? I've completely lost my train of thought...

ambercrane722 said:Forget about him, just grind for your own dreams and let fate handle the rest. It’s not like he’s some one-in-a-million legend; there are plenty of guys out there just like him... you're just blinded because you've got it bad for him right now.

I mean, sure, there are guys who are similar... but honestly? It's just not the same thing...
I can't even find the right words to describe him properly... if you could just peek inside my heart for a second... seriously, if he could see what I see when I look at him, he'd fall for himself too! 😂

Maybe I am a little blinded... but I really do try my best to stay grounded and logical... 😂though clearly, I'm not exactly giving off that vibe right now.

Anyway... after him, there's no way. I don't want anyone even remotely like him because I know I'll just end up falling for him all over again in someone else...
I need his total opposite...

Seriously, you're just cracking up constantly? Look, either go out there and live some actual adventure or just go find someone else to bother! It’s honestly pathetic how people act nowadays... everyone is obsessed with being like Angelina Jolie or Madonna, while regular, normal people just don't get any love anymore.

ambercrane722 said:Seriously, you're just cracking up constantly? Look, either go out there and live some actual adventure or just go find someone else to bother! It’s honestly pathetic how people act nowadays... everyone is obsessed with being like Angelina Jolie or Madonna, while regular, normal people just don't get any love anymore.

It’s so easy to just slap a laughing emoji on a screen...
just to hide the stuff you don't actually want to show...

😂but at the end of the day, everyone is just human, you know? I've realized that so much that I don't even take everything in textbooks as gospel because, let's face it, humans wrote them too... and he's just a human😁
But he's a human I'm really into.

Look, if you’re feeling this way, trust me, I’ve been exactly where you are. Honestly? I just have to laugh at myself because there’s no logical way to explain it—it’s like we’re all just settling up some cosmic debt from a past life or something. I actually buy into those wild theories... plus, who knows? Maybe it's just one long lesson after another until we finally evolve into the absolute best versions of ourselves.

ambercrane722 said:Look, if you’re feeling this way, trust me, I’ve been exactly where you are. Honestly? I just have to laugh at myself because there’s no logical way to explain it—it’s like we’re all just settling up some cosmic debt from a past life or something. I actually buy into those wild theories... plus, who knows? Maybe it's just one long lesson after another until we finally evolve into the absolute best versions of ourselves.

I'm right there with you on that.
Looking back at him... if he hadn't come into my life... things would be totally different, but like, *completely* different.
That guy had such an impact on me... seriously... I was already heading in the right direction, but I just didn't have a clue how to make it happen or where I was tripping up... he was my wake-up call. He basically gave me a little "hey, wake up!" slap because he's super spiritual and we're both into that whole alternative scene, but he's way ahead of me on that path and he passed on exactly what I needed to hear...
I guess that was his "mission," too.

It's such a shame... that's all there is to it.

Give me a break... you're totally overthinking this. You're stuck in your head worrying about who we are or aren't—acting like we're all just some group of crazies wearing masks, feeling miserable, pathetic, or lacking any backbone. It’s all complete nonsense. Just chill out and put that energy into chasing your dreams and hitting your goals instead.

ambercrane722 said:Give me a break... you're totally overthinking this. You're stuck in your head worrying about who we are or aren't—acting like we're all just some group of crazies wearing masks, feeling miserable, pathetic, or lacking any backbone. It’s all complete nonsense. Just chill out and put that energy into chasing your dreams and hitting your goals instead.

hmmm, so what you're basically telling me is that I should fight for him?

Nah, absolutely not, that just doesn't fly with me. What are we even fighting for? Give me a break—the world is yours, yet it feels like you're constantly being boxed in by men. I’ve lost count of how many powerhouse women I’ve sat down with who ended up telling me they wished they’d just walked their own path solo. You’re just like me—someone who’s seen it all, traveled the map, and now you're sitting here acting like you're going through some deep tragedy? Please. What "struggle"? What "battle"? It's nonsense. Love is love, period, and it shouldn't come with a list of rules or a bunch of lies. Honestly, enough already. I am so done with this virtual nonsense, let's get out of here!

ambercrane722 said:Nah, absolutely not, that just doesn't fly with me. What are we even fighting for? Give me a break—the world is yours, yet it feels like you're constantly being boxed in by men. I’ve lost count of how many powerhouse women I’ve sat down with who ended up telling me they wished they’d just walked their own path solo. You’re just like me—someone who’s seen it all, traveled the map, and now you're sitting here acting like you're going through some deep tragedy? Please. What "struggle"? What "battle"? It's nonsense. Love is love, period, and it shouldn't come with a list of rules or a bunch of lies. Honestly, enough already. I am so done with this virtual nonsense, let's get out of here!

👍 You're totally right.

This is the first time I've ever felt this way about someone... and it'll be the last.

You're only hurting because you're chasing a validation for that picture of yours, babe... but let's be real, it never even existed. It’s like you were just directing some cinematic masterpiece inside your own head, imagining how everything would play out perfectly. We're all hardwired to daydream about some Prince Charming riding in on a white stallion, right? But honestly, once you realize that you have to be your own hero alongside someone who actually loves you back, that's where the real magic happens. Sadly, life doesn't always work out that way. I know plenty of women who ended up alone and stayed that way until the end... but hey, it's not the end of the world.

I’m fully aware it’s all an illusion...
even if it feels incredibly real deep down inside...
that feeling is totally genuine, everything about it...
nothing would actually change, even if this whole thing moved into the real world... I just know...
I really do.

One day, it’ll all just pass by...
Time eventually heals every wound and fades every memory...

But right now, I’m heading out to grab a massive Hershey's bar, and honestly, I don't care what anyone thinks... call me crazy if you want, I love being this way and I wouldn't change a single thing...
It's all just proof of how much I live within my own dreams and fantasies...
And honestly... I truly believe I could stare down pure evil with just a look, though I'll never bother trying because I can feel in my soul that it's possible, and the whole world is basically just a hologram anyway...
I believe there are spirits all around me, and they're good, even if they scare me and stay out of sight...
I believe in God too—He’s such a great guy—I haven't seen Him, but I feel His presence in my heart..
The truth is... I believe in so many things I've never actually seen, simply because I see them through my heart...
I don't trust my eyes...
I don't trust my own words...
I only trust my heart.
All I really have is... me... and my soul just wants to believe in fairy tales, in love, and in some kind of magic that makes the grass grow and the planets spin...
My inner self refuses to accept this harsh reality, because it isn't even harsh at all when I look at it through my heart.

I saw him with my heart, just as clearly as if he were right here in front of me... I'd recognize him with that exact same feeling... my eyes might be blind, and eyes have a way of lying... but the heart never lies.

I’m going to keep believing in him, because that's the only way I feel truly alive.
Even this pain feels sweet... because it comes from him.
It’ll pass, I know it will...
I can feel it in my heart.

I’m literally tearing up here... part from the sheer absurdity and part because I can't stop laughing my head off. You have no idea how ridiculous this whole thing is, man, seriously, I’m losing it. Just hang in there and wait, you'll see the punchline eventually. Good luck! :-)