School closures/delays?

Robert Rodriguez9 said:Olivia Brown7, did you look into Lincoln Elementary yet? I know they accept kids with special needs there.

I haven't even looked at schools yet. Honestly, every doctor and therapist I've spoken to has advised waiting. They suggested holding off for at least six months before starting any intensive evaluations to figure out which school would actually be the best fit.

I personally know a girl with Down syndrome who attends that school. Integration is almost always the better way to go. You should look into it a bit more. 😉

Olivia Brown7 said:I appreciate the kind thoughts, but it’s not quite like that.
He was actually eligible for an aide in preschool this year too, yet he didn't get one (he ends up sharing an aide with another boy instead).
And even if his speech improves significantly? There is no way he's attending a standard public school—even with an aide. It would likely have to be Suvag.

I’m not entirely sure how they handle things in preschool, but in the American school system, the setup is such that you only get one aide per classroom—so when they're balancing the rosters, they try to spread kids with special needs across different classes to make it work.

Now, I don't know the specifics of what your child is dealing with, but I do know there’s a boy in our local elementary school with severe disabilities—he uses a wheelchair, can't write on his own, and his speech is incredibly difficult to understand—yet, somehow, he’s attending a completely mainstream school.

- When it comes to children with disabilities, there are endless hurdles—everything from integration issues to the hearing environment, all the way down to the teachers and the school's support staff, which dictates so much regarding their future development—but personally, I’ve always believed these kids should attempt to integrate into regular schools rather than being tucked away in special education facilities.

That boy I mentioned—the one in the wheelchair—has been embraced beautifully by his classmates; they’re genuinely happy to see him and go out of their way to help him, and honestly, seeing that kind of empathy is a rare, beautiful thing. 😉

Robert Rodriguez9 said:I personally know a girl with Down syndrome who attends that school. Integration is almost always the better way to go. You should look into it a bit more. 😉

Of course. I’d much rather go with a "traditional" school.

Quincy:

Sam Kim12 Asks: ........ I’ve always been of the mind that children with disabilities should be given the chance to integrate into mainstream schools rather than being relegated to special education programs. Why shouldn't they have that opportunity? The little boy in the stroller? He’s been embraced so warmly by his classmates. Everyone is just so genuinely happy to see him, always cheering him on and offering a helping hand. Honestly, it’s quite moving to witness. 😉

The school counselor actually told us during our meeting that if his speech doesn't show significant improvement, we shouldn't even count on placement in a mainstream classroom—even with an aide. Her reasoning? Apparently, the teachers aren't sufficiently trained to handle those specific conditions. Her exact words.

In our school district, we’ve got everything from kids with Down syndrome to students with special needs and their full-time aides...

Which school are we talking about? We went to Lincoln High.

I'm stuck out in some tiny little town way out in the middle of nowhere, far away from Washington, D.C. 😉

Olivia Brown7 said:Of course. I’d much rather go with a "traditional" school.

Quincy:

Sam Kim12 Asks: ........ I’ve always been of the mind that children with disabilities should be given the chance to integrate into mainstream schools rather than being relegated to special education programs. Why shouldn't they have that opportunity? The little boy in the stroller? He’s been embraced so warmly by his classmates. Everyone is just so genuinely happy to see him, always cheering him on and offering a helping hand. Honestly, it’s quite moving to witness. 😉

The school counselor actually told us during our meeting that if his speech doesn't show significant improvement, we shouldn't even count on placement in a mainstream classroom—even with an aide. Her reasoning? Apparently, the teachers aren't sufficiently trained to handle those specific conditions. Her exact words.

In my view—and this comes from years of working directly with kids facing developmental challenges—not every child with special needs struggles in a traditional classroom setting.
And honestly? What that counselor said highlights the systemic failure within our public school system. We’re looking at a massive gap in teacher training combined with a glaring lack of specialized support staff—which, let's be real, is the absolute bedrock of making inclusion work for kids with developmental delays.
In the US, "inclusion" often just becomes a polite way of saying they dropped a child with special needs into a regular classroom and hoped for the best. It's rarely more than that, except in rare cases. For true integration to actually work, you need a massive amount of effort from the teachers and genuine, hands-on support from educational specialists and therapists. Without that, it's just a child sitting in a room where they don't belong.

When it comes to children facing more significant developmental hurdles, I’ve always felt that specialized special education instructors possess a much deeper level of training than your standard elementary school teachers... In my son's classroom, there is a child with Down syndrome, which, in my estimation, isn't even the most taxing challenge. However, my godmother's son... he simply cannot function within the confines of a traditional American school setting. He just can't sit still for more than five minutes at a time; after five minutes, you absolutely have to let him jump around in place for another five just to burn off that energy.

Kids with Down syndrome can also face significant intellectual challenges—some might even be completely nonverbal... It’s a lot to handle, honestly, and those kinds of hurdles make it incredibly tough for a child to thrive in a standard public school setting. That’s why I truly believe we have to tailor everything to the specific abilities of the individual child.

Anthony Gray said:In my view—and this comes from years of working directly with kids facing developmental challenges—not every child with special needs struggles in a traditional classroom setting.
And honestly? What that counselor said highlights the systemic failure within our public school system. We’re looking at a massive gap in teacher training combined with a glaring lack of specialized support staff—which, let's be real, is the absolute bedrock of making inclusion work for kids with developmental delays.
In the US, "inclusion" often just becomes a polite way of saying they dropped a child with special needs into a regular classroom and hoped for the best. It's rarely more than that, except in rare cases. For true integration to actually work, you need a massive amount of effort from the teachers and genuine, hands-on support from educational specialists and therapists. Without that, it's just a child sitting in a room where they don't belong.

Everything mentioned is spot on, but I honestly don't know how you're supposed to help.

A colleague of mine has a child with visual impairment and ADHD who was granted an Individualized Education Program (IEP). The teacher simply ignores it. The child is supposed to receive written assignments in large print with double spacing. Instead, she hands him the same sheet as everyone else—five tasks crammed onto one page. The kid barely scrapes by with a D. He loses his temper and demands a retake according to his accommodations. Then, he gets an A.

So, what are we supposed to do as parents of children with disabilities?

Most of what I actually know, I learned from private therapists. Doctors tend to have their own specific visions, but once you walk into a preschool or an elementary school, everyone adopts this "Listen, Mom... we're the experts here and we know better than you" attitude. It makes me bristle like a porcupine.

I can't exactly show up to school with my own private specialist to lecture the faculty on how to teach my son—that's just not realistic. But if a professional evaluation has already been handed to them, why on earth aren't they following it?

So, who's actually pulling the strings on these delays anyway?

I just got off the phone with my godmother, and I had to ask her how their whole enrollment process went... and well, here’s the gist of what they told her... she was given the option to try a standard public school, but the caveat was that if he hasn't developed any speech by the end of the first semester, he wouldn't be allowed to stay in a mainstream classroom. Since it was pretty obvious there wasn't going to be some sudden miracle where his speech catches up in just six months, they immediately pivoted toward the special education track.

The thing is, the administration at this particular school felt like his development was being stifled, suggesting that maybe—just maybe—he might fare better in a regular classroom setting. They actually went so far as to suggest she move back to her small hometown, where there's only one elementary school in the whole district, because then they would essentially be forced to accept him into the general curriculum.

She turned them down flat, of course. First off, she moved all the way to NYC specifically so she could have easy access to speech therapists and specialists, and honestly, she can handle a lot of the work at home herself... but more importantly, she truly believes he isn't cut out for a traditional classroom environment. The kid is constantly jumping around, banging on his desk, and tossing his pencil into the air just to catch it two hundred times in a row... imagine what kind of chaos that would cause in a room filled with twenty-five other children!

As for the question about delaying enrollment, she mentioned that they eventually told her they do respect parental wishes, so if a parent insists on a delay, it will be granted.

So, yeah... that's just what she went through...

Drew Johnson2 said:I just got off the phone with my godmother, and I had to ask her how their whole enrollment process went... and well, here’s the gist of what they told her... she was given the option to try a standard public school, but the caveat was that if he hasn't developed any speech by the end of the first semester, he wouldn't be allowed to stay in a mainstream classroom. Since it was pretty obvious there wasn't going to be some sudden miracle where his speech catches up in just six months, they immediately pivoted toward the special education track.

The thing is, the administration at this particular school felt like his development was being stifled, suggesting that maybe—just maybe—he might fare better in a regular classroom setting. They actually went so far as to suggest she move back to her small hometown, where there's only one elementary school in the whole district, because then they would essentially be forced to accept him into the general curriculum.

She turned them down flat, of course. First off, she moved all the way to NYC specifically so she could have easy access to speech therapists and specialists, and honestly, she can handle a lot of the work at home herself... but more importantly, she truly believes he isn't cut out for a traditional classroom environment. The kid is constantly jumping around, banging on his desk, and tossing his pencil into the air just to catch it two hundred times in a row... imagine what kind of chaos that would cause in a room filled with twenty-five other children!

As for the question about delaying enrollment, she mentioned that they eventually told her they do respect parental wishes, so if a parent insists on a delay, it will be granted.

So, yeah... that's just what she went through...

I heard the same thing
but these people at the school always have to act like they're some kind of geniuses.

Harold Cook2 said:So, who's actually pulling the strings on these delays anyway?

Basically, the school sends over a proposal to the expert committee over at City Hall, and then those folks are the ones who make the final decision, I think.

Ryan Stewart8 said:Basically, the school sends over a proposal to the expert committee over at City Hall, and then those folks are the ones who make the final decision, I think.

So, when do we actually hear back on that?

Harold Cook2 said:So, when do we actually hear back on that?

Well, I guess those things just kind of trickle in individually, so it really just depends on how much they're staying on top of their paperwork, I suppose.😁
The absolute latest you'd see them is right before school registration kicks off, but honestly, they usually show up within a couple of weeks or so.

Just finished our systematic exam today, and man, it dragged on for a solid two hours. Seriously, they were grilling us on everything under the sun 😲
So, when do you think I’ll hear back about whether I get a deferral or not? Will they send something to my house, or am I gonna get hauled into the principal's office for a talk?

Susan James said:It's because if a boy starts first grade at 6.5 while a girl starts at 7.5, she's going to be older than him.
And she might be taller too.
She might be smarter.
And probably more independent and mature.

Of course, it isn't strictly about birthdays or numbers, but adults tend to obsess over dates and statistics.

No one just decides to skip a grade or delay enrollment on a whim; you need official confirmation that the child isn't ready. Usually, that involves passing through a school pediatrician, a school counselor, or a preschool specialist—and sometimes even other medical institutions where the child has been receiving diagnostics or ongoing treatment.

I honestly doubt this is just parents acting on whims or wanting an extra year of carefree playtime in preschool.

When a professional suggests a child might not be ready for school yet, and that child happens to be right on the age cutoff, a parent might weigh those factors alongside things like a longer summer vacation, easier childcare, or smoother travel schedules. To me, I don't see anything wrong with that.
Even if it goes the other way—where the specialists don't find any reason to delay—a parent who feels strongly about it can always seek a third opinion. That doesn't guarantee a delay if there truly isn't a valid reason, though.

I'm not saying every expert is perfect—I know testing can sometimes be superficial or even biased—but looking at the overall number of delays, it seems to me that most of them are actually quite rare. And the vast majority of these delays make total sense.

At the same time, there are still many kids who *should* have had their enrollment delayed but didn't. Those are the kids I worry about... It’s hard for me to watch a parent refuse to accept that their child needs more time, only realizing it halfway through the school year when it's already far too late.
(Especially when they use excuses like "everyone else in the group is going, so they should too," or "they need to toughen up," or "we all started early 30 years ago, so why change now?" To me, that sounds like following outdated trends, and I'm generally against following trends just for the sake of it.)

I was stuck in a dilemma about whether to hold my little guy back.
We decided he'd go, but it still eats at me.🤦
He was born in late February, so he'll be 6.5, while the rest of his preschool crew will be 7 and a few months. It's a massive gap.
I know I'm biased because he's mine. My hesitation comes from fear. I was banking on the professionals to tell me if he was truly ready, but when the teacher said he's fine because he can read and write, I nearly had a nervous breakdown.
Hello? Kids can read at 3 years old and they definitely aren't ready for school.🙂
He wants to go, and the psychologist said he scored above average on the tests... but I'm still not 100% sure this is the right call.
I didn't expect them to do math with him during the psych eval (I was eavesdropping through the door; he was in there for an hour). I was thinking maybe they should have played a game of Sorry! just to see if he'd have a meltdown if he lost.😂
Anyway... from what I've seen, it feels like almost any kid can pass these tests. What kind of kids are the ones the experts actually suggest holding back?
If he knows that 1 apple plus 4 apples equals 5 apples, that's not some grand achievement proving he's ready for school. Most kids can count that high.

how do they even test for emotional maturity?

Seriously though, when it comes to playing Monopoly, don't get all worked up—I mean, is someone actually going to throw a total meltdown if they don't come out on top?

Because honestly... I’ve definitely met a few adults who still lose their cool and have a full-on tantrum if things don't go their way during a game of Monopoly 😁
... it's wild...