Is love really blind?

It’s not really a big deal if you fall in love, because honestly, you end up being blind to half the things happening around you anyway. It’s more about those people who just refuse to let go and keep clinging to their feelings instead of just cutting off the emotional parasite...

Jamie Reyes73 said:Dammit, I'm a man (though clearly, all you think about is sex 🤣).

Dig up those old posts of yours for me to read, because I can't believe
that you shed tears back then and are now peddling this story. 😁
Of course it's bullshit... I feel much better and more stable with someone
whom I am not in love with...
Naturally, I've been in love—more than once, in fact—otherwise, I wouldn't be bothering with this topic at all.
It sucks for me, and you really ought to realize it's a mess based on your own opening post.
It has never led to a positive outcome for me...
A colleague of mine (26) committed suicide because of love. 😢

Fine, give me a single positive example of *love...

Pride is also a useless feeling... One needs to be realistic , and when you're full of pride, that becomes impossible. 😬

*Love—by which I mean that chemical rush, that state of being infatuated. 😍

What am I supposed to do when you have such a trashy 🤣 avatar and I haven't even seen your actual username 😬
If you want me to find them, fine... but I don't have anything better to do. There's a search function if you're actually interested in looking.

You feel much better and more stable with someone you aren't in love with 😕
I don't follow. It's unlikely that I'm being stupid 😁, so please explain how that works for you... personally, I feel my best when I am actually in love with someone.
Is love a mess? No, even considering some of my great loves had unhappy 🙂 endings, I wouldn't say they were bad. They were beautiful while they lasted... now they are just the past.
And it seems to me you are confusing the concepts of "love" and "infatuation"...

Rebecca Scott3 said:Everyone’s got different experiences... different needs... different ways of looking at or understanding the world...
...no big deal... your opinion is yours...
...you don't have to read them... it's fine... I'm not some novelist living off a fan base...
....we're just swapping ideas here
.... 🙂
😉

I’m honestly telling you this with the best intentions, but you really should consider changing your writing style. I'm not the only one who skips over your posts because of it. That constant breaking up of... sentences is exhausting and hard to follow—especially in an online forum setting where people aren't usually looking for deep dives or trying to focus intensely. Plus, there are plenty of others who write "normally" (if you'll excuse my use of that word, haha), so your posts just get passed over.
I COULD ALSO WRITE LIKE THIS BECAUSE I THINK THESE LETTERS ARE COOL... but I don't, because on the internet, all caps feels like shouting.
Likewise, I won't write in this tiny font either because it's too hard to read.

If you want to have a meaningful conversation, write properly😁, but if that doesn't matter to you, then keep writing the way you do.👋

Jerry Martinez5 said:Topic: Is love blind? Please stick to the subject matter.

On topic: Love isn't blind, but infatuation definitely is.

Legion, your lecturing is honestly hilarious. It’s almost pathetic, really. 😍
I mean, how old are you? Have you seriously never even been suspended? What on earth have you done with your life, you dark soul? 😢

Those jokes are great... as if someone who's never been a lonely loser has never truly loved, or has wasted their entire life 🤣... give me a break... living as a lonely loser is what's actually wasted, though nobody wants to admit it 😉 but that's the reality...

Your attempt—and I don't think it's just yours—to link being a lonely loser to whether or not someone has truly loved is about as logical as saying, "You've never broken a leg skiing, so you don't know what skiing is," or better yet, "You've never crashed a car, so what kind of driver are you?"

Infatuation... how long does it last? For a lonely loser, it can last for years 😉... and would you call that infatuation? 😉

Go ahead and try to justify yourselves to God and the public 😁 but you have to accept that, globally speaking, lonely losers are still a minority... sure, this topic isn't exactly popular on this forum, so it feels like they are everywhere when they really aren't 😁, and yes, being a lonely loser is abnormal. It doesn't mean someone loves or is infatuated—it just means they're obsessed. Because, as we concluded long ago, love has to be mutual, and for a lonely loser, it isn't. Forget that young Verter; he's nothing but trouble. 😬

silentpilot6 said:What am I supposed to do when you have such a trashy 🤣 avatar and I haven't even seen your actual username 😬
If you want me to find them, fine... but I don't have anything better to do. There's a search function if you're actually interested in looking.

You feel much better and more stable with someone you aren't in love with 😕
I don't follow. It's unlikely that I'm being stupid 😁, so please explain how that works for you... personally, I feel my best when I am actually in love with someone.
Is love a mess? No, even considering some of my great loves had unhappy 🙂 endings, I wouldn't say they were bad. They were beautiful while they lasted... now they are just the past.
And it seems to me you are confusing the concepts of "love" and "infatuation"...

Which is exactly why I specified I was only talking about infatuation...
Fine, I'll watch my wording from now on. 😉

Look, I didn't realize an avatar could cause such a stir—maybe we should just set a photo of some hunk 🤣

I'm not referring to "love," but rather infatuation... you're asking how anyone can
let themselves be made a fool, and I'm telling you they have to be
infatuated—blinded by the chemistry...
Now, I honestly don't know how someone could be such a fool as to spend 13 years
being infatuated and letting themselves be walked all over... I suspect that's already the case, and it might not even
have much to do with infatuation at all...
For me, infatuation is total nonsense because, no matter how much I want to, I can't
be completely realistic—not toward myself, and certainly not toward the other person...

As for love, I always have plenty of it... 😍 and for many different people...

Hopefully that clears things up. 🙂

Who’s talking about dating an avatar? You have to admit, you're being a bit sensitive here. 😬
All this talk about falling in love... how long does that phase actually last? Three, maybe four months at most. Meanwhile, how much longer do people stay unfaithful? Way longer than that.

silentpilot6 said:Alright, let me repeat the question... why hasn't anyone in this thread protested against a similar campaign involving billboards or massive posters? It’s the exact same point... being emaciated isn't beautiful or desirable. 🤷
If I had come up with this scheme myself, I'd be accused of "sneaking it through," wouldn't I? 🤷

Regarding this current madness... you say there's no cure. Fine... but for some, this "temporary" insanity lasts for years... sometimes even thirteen years. 😲 I wouldn't call that "temporary."
And you know what actually helps? Prevention. 😁 (For those who still have a bit of sense left.) For some, it might even serve as a wake-up call. And I don't mean my posting on this thread, but the subject itself... though, of course, it doesn't hurt to provide a framework for people to discuss what they observe.
As they say: fools learn from their own mistakes, while the wise... the wise read the forums. 🤣 😂
Say whatever you want, but I still maintain that a large portion of these fanatics simply aren't themselves. There must be underlying roots or causes. A "normal" person (I don't mean they are clinically insane, just that they aren't all quite right 😁), no matter how much they love someone, won't allow these things to happen. Ultimately, they won't fall for someone who treats them like a doormat—which is exactly what these fanatics do.

It probably happens when someone starts getting a weird kick out of the chaos, or maybe when they just don't have anything better to do—no real responsibilities or bigger problems weighing them down. The reason can be super lame. Boredom. When you've got a "difficult" partner, you spend all your energy managing the relationship and dealing with them while everything else just runs on autopilot. It adds this weird layer of tension and drama to an otherwise tiny life.

But once you actually have other things in your life that keep you busy and happy—or heaven forbid, actual problems you need to tackle immediately—those confusing, draining relationships just become a massive headache that you want to get rid of ASAP.

silentpilot6 said:who’s even talking about using an avatar to flirt? you have to admit you're being a bit soft here😬
All this talk about falling in love... how long does that actually last? Three months, maybe four if you're lucky. Meanwhile, how long does being a total jerk last? For most people, way longer than that.

for me, it lasted about 15 years🤦🙈😵

Amanda Flores88 said:It probably happens when someone starts getting a weird kick out of the chaos, or maybe when they just don't have anything better to do—no real responsibilities or bigger problems weighing them down. The reason can be super lame. Boredom. When you've got a "difficult" partner, you spend all your energy managing the relationship and dealing with them while everything else just runs on autopilot. It adds this weird layer of tension and drama to an otherwise tiny life.

But once you actually have other things in your life that keep you busy and happy—or heaven forbid, actual problems you need to tackle immediately—those confusing, draining relationships just become a massive headache that you want to get rid of ASAP.

That makes some sense, but wouldn't any "normal" person 😬 just move on from those kinds of relationships? Otherwise, they'd have nothing left to do but stare at the walls or knit sweaters.😁

silentpilot6 said:Reading through that famous controversial thread on Reddit, one question really stuck with me. Is Love actually blind? It probably is deaf and foolish, too...
Initially, I intended to write about women who consciously enter relationships with married men and end up getting burned every single time. They waste years of their lives on some idiot who feeds them lines and promises the moon and stars—promises he almost never keeps. But seeing all the stories posted there, I can't help but wonder if it's just blindness or if people are simply... I'd rather just say they're fools. 😬
I should probably make this personal and reflect on my own past experiences... at one point, I was involved with a married woman. The thing was, she was actually a great person; I genuinely liked her. But the moment I realized this "crush" might turn into something more serious, I walked away. I had no desire to get tangled up in those kinds of situations that almost never have a happy ending.

To get to the point... why do some people allow their partners (and I don't just mean married ones) to treat them like complete fools? Like they're totally blind despite having perfectly good eyesight... essentially, just pushovers.
Where is their logic? Where is their pride? Where is their common sense? Is Love truly blind, deaf, and foolish...
Do people honestly believe that Love conquers all? It doesn't. And even that version of Love (at least the kind we see in these threads) is almost always one-sided.
It’s sad—people suffer, endure pain, and humiliate themselves... they push away friends and family and fall into financial or other messes, all for the sake of people who clearly don't love them back.

Look, you can't go mixing up being "in love" with actual love—that’s a huge mistake. Being in love? That's just a massive hormonal glitch in your brain. Real love is more like this steady, balanced state where we somehow choose to see way less than what's right in front of us, even though our eyes are wide open.
That’s why everyone says love is blind.

silentpilot6: The logic is flawed. It’s like trying to fix a broken engine by polishing the hood.

silentpilot6 said:Alright, let me repeat the question... why hasn't anyone in this thread protested against a similar campaign involving billboards or massive posters? It’s the exact same point... being emaciated isn't beautiful or desirable. 🤷
If I had come up with this scheme myself, I'd be accused of "sneaking it through," wouldn't I? 🤷

Regarding this current madness... you say there's no cure. Fine... but for some, this "temporary" insanity lasts for years... sometimes even thirteen years. 😲 I wouldn't call that "temporary."
And you know what actually helps? Prevention. 😁 (For those who still have a bit of sense left.) For some, it might even serve as a wake-up call. And I don't mean my posting on this thread, but the subject itself... though, of course, it doesn't hurt to provide a framework for people to discuss what they observe.
As they say: fools learn from their own mistakes, while the wise... the wise read the forums. 🤣 😂
Say whatever you want, but I still maintain that a large portion of these fanatics simply aren't themselves. There must be underlying roots or causes. A "normal" person (I don't mean they are clinically insane, just that they aren't all quite right 😁), no matter how much they love someone, won't allow these things to happen. Ultimately, they won't fall for someone who treats them like a doormat—which is exactly what these fanatics do.

Look, we’re talking about a preventative campaign here, not a cure.

silentpilot6 said:Alright, let me repeat the question... why hasn't anyone in this thread protested against a similar campaign involving billboards or massive posters? It’s the exact same point... being emaciated isn't beautiful or desirable. 🤷
If I had come up with this scheme myself, I'd be accused of "sneaking it through," wouldn't I? 🤷

Regarding this current madness... you say there's no cure. Fine... but for some, this "temporary" insanity lasts for years... sometimes even thirteen years. 😲 I wouldn't call that "temporary."
And you know what actually helps? Prevention. 😁 (For those who still have a bit of sense left.) For some, it might even serve as a wake-up call. And I don't mean my posting on this thread, but the subject itself... though, of course, it doesn't hurt to provide a framework for people to discuss what they observe.
As they say: fools learn from their own mistakes, while the wise... the wise read the forums. 🤣 😂
Say whatever you want, but I still maintain that a large portion of these fanatics simply aren't themselves. There must be underlying roots or causes. A "normal" person (I don't mean they are clinically insane, just that they aren't all quite right 😁), no matter how much they love someone, won't allow these things to happen. Ultimately, they won't fall for someone who treats them like a doormat—which is exactly what these fanatics do.

That’s the thing about illness—it's unpredictable. With the flu, you can usually count on five days. These cases are far more complicated than that.

silentpilot6 said:Alright, let me repeat the question... why hasn't anyone in this thread protested against a similar campaign involving billboards or massive posters? It’s the exact same point... being emaciated isn't beautiful or desirable. 🤷
If I had come up with this scheme myself, I'd be accused of "sneaking it through," wouldn't I? 🤷

Regarding this current madness... you say there's no cure. Fine... but for some, this "temporary" insanity lasts for years... sometimes even thirteen years. 😲 I wouldn't call that "temporary."
And you know what actually helps? Prevention. 😁 (For those who still have a bit of sense left.) For some, it might even serve as a wake-up call. And I don't mean my posting on this thread, but the subject itself... though, of course, it doesn't hurt to provide a framework for people to discuss what they observe.
As they say: fools learn from their own mistakes, while the wise... the wise read the forums. 🤣 😂
Say whatever you want, but I still maintain that a large portion of these fanatics simply aren't themselves. There must be underlying roots or causes. A "normal" person (I don't mean they are clinically insane, just that they aren't all quite right 😁), no matter how much they love someone, won't allow these things to happen. Ultimately, they won't fall for someone who treats them like a doormat—which is exactly what these fanatics do.

It’s easy to throw stones when you aren't the one standing in the line of fire.🙂 You’ve probably never heard the old saying that people can't learn from someone else's mistakes. They only learn from their own—because you need the sting of your own failure to finally get the lesson through your thick skull.

silentpilot6 said:Alright, let me repeat the question... why hasn't anyone in this thread protested against a similar campaign involving billboards or massive posters? It’s the exact same point... being emaciated isn't beautiful or desirable. 🤷
If I had come up with this scheme myself, I'd be accused of "sneaking it through," wouldn't I? 🤷

Regarding this current madness... you say there's no cure. Fine... but for some, this "temporary" insanity lasts for years... sometimes even thirteen years. 😲 I wouldn't call that "temporary."
And you know what actually helps? Prevention. 😁 (For those who still have a bit of sense left.) For some, it might even serve as a wake-up call. And I don't mean my posting on this thread, but the subject itself... though, of course, it doesn't hurt to provide a framework for people to discuss what they observe.
As they say: fools learn from their own mistakes, while the wise... the wise read the forums. 🤣 😂
Say whatever you want, but I still maintain that a large portion of these fanatics simply aren't themselves. There must be underlying roots or causes. A "normal" person (I don't mean they are clinically insane, just that they aren't all quite right 😁), no matter how much they love someone, won't allow these things to happen. Ultimately, they won't fall for someone who treats them like a doormat—which is exactly what these fanatics do.

Sure, it's possible. But everyone has issues (except you, apparently), and those problems manifest in different ways. Labeling pushovers as merely "stupid" is lazy. That is a massive oversimplification of a complex, multi-layered issue.

Alternatively, if we buy into the theory that love means unconditional acceptance and expecting absolutely nothing in return, then fine. In that case, pushovers are the only ones who truly LOVE. 😍

Kenneth Peterson5 said:Look, you can't go mixing up being "in love" with actual love—that’s a huge mistake. Being in love? That's just a massive hormonal glitch in your brain. Real love is more like this steady, balanced state where we somehow choose to see way less than what's right in front of us, even though our eyes are wide open.
That’s why everyone says love is blind.

👍 A hormonal imbalance, sure! 😍

silentpilot6 said:That makes some sense, but wouldn't any "normal" person 😬 just move on from those kinds of relationships? Otherwise, they'd have nothing left to do but stare at the walls or knit sweaters.😁

Nah, none of that is actually tense enough. 🙂

silentpilot6 said:What am I supposed to do when you have such a trashy 🤣 avatar and I haven't even seen your actual username 😬
If you want me to find them, fine... but I don't have anything better to do. There's a search function if you're actually interested in looking.

You feel much better and more stable with someone you aren't in love with 😕
I don't follow. It's unlikely that I'm being stupid 😁, so please explain how that works for you... personally, I feel my best when I am actually in love with someone.
Is love a mess? No, even considering some of my great loves had unhappy 🙂 endings, I wouldn't say they were bad. They were beautiful while they lasted... now they are just the past.
And it seems to me you are confusing the concepts of "love" and "infatuation"...

The sweet spot is being with someone where the sex is great and you can just have a chill, casual conversation without any pressure.
Because people lack that genuine connection, love becomes this tired, cliché concept. People try to define it through escapism (cheating), money (ego), power (social status), beauty (showing off to others), or even honesty (using someone else as an emotional dumping ground for your own problems); stuff like that.
A little bit of all those things isn't necessarily bad, but they shouldn't be the main focus.
Ugh... that's a heavy burden to carry for the person on the receiving end.
😉

Sean Cruz said:But here’s the thing: accepting a rabbit, or a person, 😁 exactly as they are isn't actually unconditional love. Maybe you and I just define "unconditional" differently.
To me, being truly unconditional would mean expecting absolutely nothing from the other party—literally zero. I don't think any living creature is capable of that. Even in your case, that rabbit makes you happy because he plays with you and provides companionship, but there's still an element of ownership involved. That's not unconditional love. It's the same with people. Even when we claim to love someone unconditionally or say we'd die for them, we’re always subconsciously expecting something in return. In my view, unconditional love is little more than self-delusion.

By that logic, it looks like I love only my rabbit. I expect nothing from him. In fact, I expect him to be a jerk, just like he’s always been. But if that changed, I’d still love him. We want him to give us a treat, but instead, he bites our nose. We know that's a possibility—we're happy if he gives the treat, and if he bites? Well, that's just him—stubborn, fearless, and bold.

I don't even expect him to stay good-looking, even though he is (and smells great). He could go bald, get mange, or start stinking—we would still love him. There is something special about him, and since he's an animal and not a human, you just forgive him for everything.

I wanted to jot down some thoughts regarding the root causes of infidelity... just a random list.

1. Masochism. Some people clearly have specific needs and desires that they satisfy in the bedroom, 😁 so they allow themselves to be stepped on in every other aspect of the relationship—and honestly, it seems they almost enjoy it.

2. The delusion that you can change someone. That is completely false. You might make small concessions or find a "middle ground," but that only works for minor issues. Core character traits don't just shift... you can't teach an old dog new tricks, much like how obsessive jealousy (which usually stems from a mountain of other issues) won't just vanish.
A chronic slacker isn't going to transform overnight, cheaters will likely cheat as long as they live, and addicts face an uphill battle that most fail. People try to fix these types and end up getting burned themselves. You have to learn to recognize the signs and walk away early. Trying to fix a broken Mississippi never works for anyone, unless you fall into category number one 🙂... in which case, you're just asking for it.

3. Closely tied to point two is the "savior complex"—something quite common among women. They feel they can rescue or reform someone. They tell themselves that nobody understands him, nobody loves him, and nobody wants him... but she will. She’ll take this poor, lonely, misunderstood soul and show him what true love feels like. 😂 😵
To give you a real-world example... a girl from my neighborhood (she's smart and attractive enough, but definitely suffers from this savior syndrome) was with a guy from the same area for nearly five years. Almost nobody wanted anything to do with him, and there were very good reasons for that. She’d spend her time lecturing people about how pitiful he was, how lonely he felt, and how no one understood him... claiming she wasn't "like everyone else." Eventually, she got pregnant, and the moment the baby arrived, the guy vanished into thin air 🙂... only then did she realize why nobody had bothered with him in the first place.

There's more to say, but I don't have the energy right now. 😬

So, how do you justify claiming someone was a pushover in just one relationship? Everything you listed isn't a permanent part of his character. Take masochism, for example—it isn't an inherent trait, so you can't just label him a masochist by default.

It’s pretty tough to change someone's core programming—I mean, you see it happen sometimes, sure, but those moments are rare outliers. And honestly? They almost always stem from some kind of profound personal growth through deep self-reflection—you know, that process of really getting to know yourself alongside a partner, a parent, a sibling, or even a grandparent. It isn't just about external circumstances...

Precisely. Transformation only happens through relentless self-improvement.

Drew Morgan said:silentpilot6: The logic is flawed. It’s like trying to fix a broken engine by polishing the hood.

Look, we’re talking about a preventative campaign here, not a cure.

That’s the thing about illness—it's unpredictable. With the flu, you can usually count on five days. These cases are far more complicated than that.

It’s easy to throw stones when you aren't the one standing in the line of fire.🙂 You’ve probably never heard the old saying that people can't learn from someone else's mistakes. They only learn from their own—because you need the sting of your own failure to finally get the lesson through your thick skull.

Sure, it's possible. But everyone has issues (except you, apparently), and those problems manifest in different ways. Labeling pushovers as merely "stupid" is lazy. That is a massive oversimplification of a complex, multi-layered issue.

Alternatively, if we buy into the theory that love means unconditional acceptance and expecting absolutely nothing in return, then fine. In that case, pushovers are the only ones who truly LOVE. 😍

Let's take this step by step. 😁
Wasn't this supposed to be preventative too? Didn't girls who were just starting down the path of starvation join those discussions? Didn't they ask for advice on how to reach some twisted, unrealistic beauty ideal? Weren't they exchanging "brilliant ideas" 😵 on how to practically stop eating without their parents noticing? Sorry-da, if this had been a topic reserved only for long-term sufferers, your critique might actually carry weight... but that wasn't the case here.
Sorry, you can't claim they weren't reading it, especially when girls at the very beginning of an eating disorder—or heading straight for one—were actively participating.

Moving on... being foolish is an illness, but I'll ask again: can something characterized as a "temporary" lapse 😵 really be called something that lasts for years? If it lasts for years, then there is clearly something fundamentally wrong with those people.

Personal experience is the best teacher, I agree... and I've learned most of my lessons that way, though I have occasionally learned from the mistakes of others. Have you?

You call it a multilayered problem... I say people love playing philosopher, making things unnecessarily complicated when they could be simple. It's quite straightforward: you don't stay with a jerk, you don't start anything with an idiot, you don't act like a doormat for a moron, and you don't sit around weeping over a fool... if you do, it means you aren't thinking clearly and likely have much deeper, hidden issues to deal with.

But love isn't unconditional... except perhaps in a parent-child relationship, though even then, it's not always the case.
Accepting someone as they are? Fine, but why accept an idiot exactly as he is? Why accept a jealous coward exactly as he is? Why accept someone with a hundred flaws? Expecting nothing isn't the definition of love... reciprocity is. How can you fall for someone who gives you nothing, or only negative things? How can any "normal" person fall in love like that?
You say fools are the only ones who love... so what are everyone else doing? 😕Do they not like them?
Of course they do, but they have standards; they possess a bit of common sense and simply refuse to tolerate idiots.