How do you stick to a diet?

Betty Harris15 said:The problem is mostly the sugar. And that's a solid idea, the tracking part. Though by the end of the day, I feel like I've failed my diet if I've eaten anything more than a light breakfast and lunch.

Oh, please, just get that out of your head! You really need to try shifting your mindset. Instead of feeling guilty, just tell yourself, "Hey, today was just a light breakfast and lunch kind of day." Seriously, being starving isn't a sustainable way to lose weight—I mean, sure, you might drop some pounds quickly, but it's terrible for your health in the long run. It’s much better to eat plenty of small meals and just aim for slow, steady progress. If you keep beating yourself up because you ate a little extra—which, let's be real, happens to all of us—you're just going to end up feeling sadder and more frustrated. Then comes the cycle: you eat more because you're upset, then you try to fast the next day, then you get so hungry by tomorrow night that you end up raiding the fridge at midnight, and then you feel even worse... and it just keeps going in circles.

Betty Harris15 said:There are plenty of reasons... a rough childhood or whatever. Most people have their own traumas they deal with, and food just happens to be my vice.
There was this one guy I worked with once. Just thinking about him now makes me feel like the pain is going to kill me.

Man, tell me about it! I’m totally using food to heal myself too. I get stuck in those depressive slumps, dealing with my own stuff, and I just turn to eating to deal with the sadness. It’s basically an addiction at this point, if I'm being totally honest with you guys!

Betty Harris15 said:haha... glad you guys started a discussion, thanks for the suggestions. Maybe this topic went deeper than just diet, which obviously becomes an issue when everything else in life is falling apart. My real question was actually how to build character—specifically, how to face the life struggles that have been hitting me hard lately. Seriously, I won't dump all this on you, but these last few days have been the worst of my life. And now... once everything peaked, you know what happened... I can't even take a bite of food. That Emotional Freedom Technique method sounds tempting, but honestly, when you think about it, it's a double-edged sword.

redharbor9 said:Yeah, that’s a solid tactic. You could even pull that off in certain types of psychotherapy. Keeping a food journal might work, though you gotta be careful it doesn't spiral into an eating disorder 😍. It wouldn't hurt to set up a chart—one column for what you ate, and another for the situation, feelings, or thoughts that triggered it...

Once you actually catch those patterns and realize why you're eating, you can start swapping them out for something else. Like, once you spot the pattern where "if X happens, I eat Y," then next time you hit X, you shut down Y before it starts by doing something else instead—like going for a walk, grabbing an apple, or jumping on a video game...

One more thing—think about which thoughts or beliefs (let's call them "B") sit between X and Y. For example:
X - Fighting with my boyfriend
*
Y - Anxiety and binge eating

*B - We should always agree, and since we don't, I should have prevented this. Since I didn't, I'm a bad partner and he won't want me anymore, so I might as well just suffer.

What turns the irrational B into something rational (Quincy):
Quincy - Even if we don't agree all the time, we can still have a perfectly healthy relationship. Despite this, I am a good partner, and he will still want me if things are meant to be. So, there's no reason to just spiral into suffering (instead, I face whatever the future brings).

Whenever X occurs, lean into the Quincy (over the B), and you've laid the groundwork to change Y! Then, you get a much better behavioral pattern—staying busy with what you were already doing, starting something new, or, if you actually are hungry, adding a different kind of food to the mix.

And don't force it!!! It’s a process, not a sudden pivot! It takes time for new behaviors to stick.

By using this method—introducing the 'Quincy'—you aren't forcing Y; you're creating the right environment for it to happen naturally 👍, so to speak. You're utilizing your own cognitive potential rather than relying on training designed for animals (no joke).
That's basically my point.

Keith Jones76 said:It's pretty funny coming from someone who treats women like nothing more than sexual objects 😢—because clearly, guys like that have zero actual life. I highly doubt they've ever had a deep connection with a woman, which is a massive, massive loss in itself. 👎

That’s coming from someone who thinks you shouldn't just demolish a mountain of chips and chocolate every time life gets a little messy. Look, I apologize if my honest takes on things offend anyone—I just don't believe we need to turn every minor setback into a full-blown crisis. I've dealt with plenty of my own nonsense over the years, and I never felt the urge to go on a binge eating spree! Sure, some people drown their sorrows in food, but if they complain about it later, I'm not exactly here to coddle them with patronizing comments like "it'll all work out," or "you can handle this, just take it slow," or "it's not that bad, just get your priorities straight and reorganize your schedule..." No, thanks. My approach is a bit more direct: sometimes things aren't actually that complicated, and the only real way out is to simply STOP EATING TRASH AND START MOVING MORE!! Seriously, if people don't like hearing that, well, that's on them. I don't feel the need to sugarcoat reality; I'd rather present things as they actually are. To me, using food to cope with a breakup over something trivial is one of the silliest ways to live, and frankly, it feels like a relic from a different century!! I mean, women are supposed to be empowered, right?? Or does empowerment only apply when it's convenient?? Because that's not how it works... most of my friends deal with breakups by just getting back out there and seeing someone new... is that really such a scandal??? Even in this day and age???

Viewing women solely as sexual objects = what the hell?? Where on earth did you even get that idea?? Women being treated as sexual objects interests me about as much as yesterday's weather... quite impressive, really, how much you think you can analyze others based on just two posts...

Aaron Howard27, you really think people just choose to drown themselves in junk food? 😁

I mean, they have an issue, and then they consciously decide to gorge themselves? You honestly think it’s easy for them to just say NO to themselves?
If it were that simple, we wouldn't have such a massive obesity epidemic in this country.

Unfortunately, most of the time it's a subconscious thing—works almost like having a split personality. You overeat, and then thirty minutes later you're beating yourself up, wondering how you could be so stupid.
I'd call it a straight-up addiction. If you haven't been through it, you won't get it.

Sure, you can fight it and win, but it isn't nearly as easy as you're making it sound.
Most of the time, once you start pulling at that thread, you realize you're dealing with a massive, tangled mess of problems.

quietpilot87 said:Aaron Howard27, you really think people just choose to drown themselves in junk food? 😁

I mean, they have an issue, and then they consciously decide to gorge themselves? You honestly think it’s easy for them to just say NO to themselves?
If it were that simple, we wouldn't have such a massive obesity epidemic in this country.

Unfortunately, most of the time it's a subconscious thing—works almost like having a split personality. You overeat, and then thirty minutes later you're beating yourself up, wondering how you could be so stupid.
I'd call it a straight-up addiction. If you haven't been through it, you won't get it.

Sure, you can fight it and win, but it isn't nearly as easy as you're making it sound.
Most of the time, once you start pulling at that thread, you realize you're dealing with a massive, tangled mess of problems.

No, absolutely not! Nobody can justify binge eating just because they're going through something. They could have gone for a walk to clear their heads, but no—instead, they decided to take a little stroll to the fridge, and once they've dealt with their problem, they reward themselves with a slice of cheesecake. Look, people, that isn't the way to handle things. I don't feel sorry for those types, and frankly, neither should you.

Aaron Howard27 said:No, absolutely not! Nobody can justify binge eating just because they're going through something. They could have gone for a walk to clear their heads, but no—instead, they decided to take a little stroll to the fridge, and once they've dealt with their problem, they reward themselves with a slice of cheesecake. Look, people, that isn't the way to handle things. I don't feel sorry for those types, and frankly, neither should you.

Were you ever overweight?

Never—mostly because I simply wouldn't allow it. I have far too much self-respect for that sort of thing.

Aaron Howard27 said:No, absolutely not! Nobody can justify binge eating just because they're going through something. They could have gone for a walk to clear their heads, but no—instead, they decided to take a little stroll to the fridge, and once they've dealt with their problem, they reward themselves with a slice of cheesecake. Look, people, that isn't the way to handle things. I don't feel sorry for those types, and frankly, neither should you.

I might just hand you a red card.🤣🤣🤣

An eating disorder is—well, it's an eating disorder. There are about ten different types listed in medical manuals. Usually, there's depression lurking in the background... and it requires years of psychotherapy to fix.

A lot of people deal with stress by grabbing some chocolate or ice cream, but they don't end up carrying an extra 60 pounds.

The way you're phrasing this is basically like saying: Nobody can justify having anxiety, depression, panic attacks, relationship struggles, or failing at work or school because of life's problems.

If people could just go for a walk and clear their minds at the first sign of trouble, as you suggest, maybe half of all mental health disorders wouldn't exist.

Healthy people might gain 5 pounds, then they tighten up their diet, move around a bit more, and sort it out in a month. But that's how it works with all disorders: a healthy person gets nervous about a college entrance exam, takes it, and moves on. A sick person struggles for years with a hundred different issues because of extreme anxiety.

Look, I’m definitely not buying three candy bars for someone trying to lose weight just to "comfort" them—that's not how this works. But honestly, if you actually believe that's the right move, you’ve completely lost the plot. Got a little ego issue or something? 😁

It’s like me saying addicts are just weak and pathetic—I mean, seriously, is there a specific requirement to shoot up? Sure, I could have gone down that road too, but I chose not to. 🤣

Aaron Howard27 said:Never—mostly because I simply wouldn't allow it. I have far too much self-respect for that sort of thing.

Look, do us all a favor and stop talking about things you clearly don't understand. 🙂

I think I'll go take a look at those threads where you whine about your own problems, just so I can offer you the same "brilliant" advice you seem to love handing out here.😁

Hold on a second, everyone... where is this conversation even heading? What is this talk about addicts? Where did that comparison even come from?? Are we supposed to be feeling sorry for them?? It’s not like I’m the one out there injecting them, right? Since when did addiction become some kind of genetic destiny?? Sure, a tendency toward weight gain exists—I get that—but even that isn't an issue if you just maintain a healthy perspective on it. I could honestly list a billion different examples and reasons why I might be sitting at 330 pounds today instead of my current 175, for instance. So what's your deal? Would you use that same logic to justify it if I murdered someone every time I ran into a problem? Or would you just say, without a second thought, that I belong in a maximum-security prison for life...
Oh, please, don't be ridiculous.

Aaron Howard27 said:Hold on a second, everyone... where is this conversation even heading? What is this talk about addicts? Where did that comparison even come from?? Are we supposed to be feeling sorry for them?? It’s not like I’m the one out there injecting them, right? Since when did addiction become some kind of genetic destiny?? Sure, a tendency toward weight gain exists—I get that—but even that isn't an issue if you just maintain a healthy perspective on it. I could honestly list a billion different examples and reasons why I might be sitting at 330 pounds today instead of my current 175, for instance. So what's your deal? Would you use that same logic to justify it if I murdered someone every time I ran into a problem? Or would you just say, without a second thought, that I belong in a maximum-security prison for life...
Oh, please, don't be ridiculous.

You're honestly wasting your breath🤣 No point even getting into these arguments👋

quietpilot87 said:You're honestly wasting your breath🤣 No point even getting into these arguments👋

Oh, sure... because it’s just so easy to drive everything straight off a cliff and then act surprised when you hit the bottom, right? Give me a break!

Keith Jones76 said:One more thing—think about which thoughts or beliefs (let's call them "B") sit between X and Y. For example:
X - Fighting with my boyfriend
*
Y - Anxiety and binge eating

*B - We should always agree, and since we don't, I should have prevented this. Since I didn't, I'm a bad partner and he won't want me anymore, so I might as well just suffer.

What turns the irrational B into something rational (Quincy):
Quincy - Even if we don't agree all the time, we can still have a perfectly healthy relationship. Despite this, I am a good partner, and he will still want me if things are meant to be. So, there's no reason to just spiral into suffering (instead, I face whatever the future brings).

Whenever X occurs, lean into the Quincy (over the B), and you've laid the groundwork to change Y! Then, you get a much better behavioral pattern—staying busy with what you were already doing, starting something new, or, if you actually are hungry, adding a different kind of food to the mix.

And don't force it!!! It’s a process, not a sudden pivot! It takes time for new behaviors to stick.

By using this method—introducing the 'Quincy'—you aren't forcing Y; you're creating the right environment for it to happen naturally 👍, so to speak. You're utilizing your own cognitive potential rather than relying on training designed for animals (no joke).
That's basically my point.

Don't overcomplicate things for the poor girl... she doesn't even need those beliefs. Honestly, she'll have an easier time hitting her target without all that heavy analysis. Once she actually nails it, then she can worry about working on that middle ground.

Or put simply: stop overanalyzing the situation.😍

Aaron Howard27 said:Oh, sure... because it’s just so easy to drive everything straight off a cliff and then act surprised when you hit the bottom, right? Give me a break!

Look, obesity isn't some lifestyle choice. Binge eating isn't a "choice" either. Some people struggle with these behaviors in a way that—and I say this from my own personal experience here—crosses the line straight into compulsive territory. There really isn't a massive difference in the root causes between binge eating and smoking, or addiction to drugs, or whatever else. It's all connected. People just handle their demons differently. Some find a way out by sweating through an hour at the local YMCA, and hey, good for them. Some go grab a bottle of bourbon. And others? They end up face-down in a jar of Nutella. Why is it so much easier to judge the last group instead of actually trying to understand them? We recognize almost every other type of addiction, but obesity and overeating? That's the easiest one to just write off as laziness or a lack of discipline. People act like you should just ship everyone off to the middle of the desert to starve it out and stop complaining about how hard it is, as if they aren't already doing everything they can.🙄

wearycobra252 said:Look, obesity isn't some lifestyle choice. Binge eating isn't a "choice" either. Some people struggle with these behaviors in a way that—and I say this from my own personal experience here—crosses the line straight into compulsive territory. There really isn't a massive difference in the root causes between binge eating and smoking, or addiction to drugs, or whatever else. It's all connected. People just handle their demons differently. Some find a way out by sweating through an hour at the local YMCA, and hey, good for them. Some go grab a bottle of bourbon. And others? They end up face-down in a jar of Nutella. Why is it so much easier to judge the last group instead of actually trying to understand them? We recognize almost every other type of addiction, but obesity and overeating? That's the easiest one to just write off as laziness or a lack of discipline. People act like you should just ship everyone off to the middle of the desert to starve it out and stop complaining about how hard it is, as if they aren't already doing everything they can.🙄

And what exactly are they "doing," though? Give them a choice between fried chicken or kale and you'll see pretty quickly what they reach for... I’ve met plenty of overweight people over the years and it’s always the same story—a greasy burger in one hand and a large soda in the other... and now I'm supposed to feel bad for them?? Honestly, I don't.
A good friend of mine—someone who eventually reached the point where he could barely walk—finally decided to stop eating junk and started exercising... just little bits at a time, as much as his body would allow, and he ended up losing 30 pounds. He feels incredible now, and he's still steadily dropping weight. So, reading these posts and thinking about his journey, I get this sudden urge to strap you guys to a treadmill, crank it up to the highest setting, and then go for a long bike ride—and believe me, that would be a very long ride indeed...

It’s always the same pattern with me—whenever I get one of those sudden, intense cravings, I try to talk myself out of it by asking, "What’s the actual point here?" I mean, what am I really gaining? If I give in, I’m just going to overindulge until I feel physically sick, and all I’ll have to show for it is a fleeting moment of satisfaction followed by a massive wave of self-loathing.🤣

Aaron Howard27 said:And what exactly are they "doing," though? Give them a choice between fried chicken or kale and you'll see pretty quickly what they reach for... I’ve met plenty of overweight people over the years and it’s always the same story—a greasy burger in one hand and a large soda in the other... and now I'm supposed to feel bad for them?? Honestly, I don't.
A good friend of mine—someone who eventually reached the point where he could barely walk—finally decided to stop eating junk and started exercising... just little bits at a time, as much as his body would allow, and he ended up losing 30 pounds. He feels incredible now, and he's still steadily dropping weight. So, reading these posts and thinking about his journey, I get this sudden urge to strap you guys to a treadmill, crank it up to the highest setting, and then go for a long bike ride—and believe me, that would be a very long ride indeed...

First off, major props to your friend.👍 Second thing, though—your friend hit a stage where he was so heavy he couldn't move. That means he was pretty far gone, and something definitely led him to that point. It wasn't just "eating kale." When you lose the ability to live a normal life, that's usually a massive wake-up call that forces a change. And before he got there, he was likely miserable being that size, probably dealing with judgment from people like you who looked at him like some kind of spectacle. So many overweight people are trying. They stumble, they lose their way, or maybe they just haven't hit that breaking point where their weight makes daily life impossible yet. Are they somehow less worthy than your friend because he managed to pull through?

And where did you get the idea that everyone posting here is fat? I mean, personally, I'm not. Well, okay, I've been fighting my weight my whole life. I gain weight incredibly fast, I have a massive appetite, and food is my comfort zone. But still, I watch what I eat, I track my meals (sweets used to be my big vice, but I'm making great progress there), and I work out regularly... and despite all that, I slip up all the time. A couple of years ago, I put on ten pounds just because I let things slide—skipped the gym and my walks because college finals were piling up, and I started stress-eating. But I got back on track, and I know this battle is going to be with me forever. So, for someone like me, who's been careful since I was ten years old, who has full family support (my dad was basically a drill sergeant about it) ensuring we cook healthy meals, and who actually understands the fundamentals of nutrition and exercise... it's still incredibly hard. So how does it feel for someone who hits 30 and suddenly realizes they need a change? Someone who has a habit and an actual craving for greasy takeout and soda? That person has to overhaul their entire existence! Can you even begin to wrap your head around how difficult that is???

Peter King2 said:It’s always the same pattern with me—whenever I get one of those sudden, intense cravings, I try to talk myself out of it by asking, "What’s the actual point here?" I mean, what am I really gaining? If I give in, I’m just going to overindulge until I feel physically sick, and all I’ll have to show for it is a fleeting moment of satisfaction followed by a massive wave of self-loathing.🤣

Starving yourself just leads to that crash you’re talking about, and then you end up overeating anyway. It's a cycle. Honestly? Just eat a little bit of everything—like, seriously, just a couple of bites—but do it throughout the day. You won't tank your calorie count, and you won't deal with those sugar crashes that send you on a frantic hunt for sweets. Much better. 😁
I eat like a bird most days, just hitting those tiny little meals constantly. You spend the whole day feeling full, yet somehow you end up eating way less than when I was actually trying to follow some strict diet. How does that even happen? 🙂

Look, if you actually stick to it—like, if you stay hydrated and get moving for at least an hour a day (honestly, no fad diet is ever gonna outrun a solid workout)—you can basically eat whatever the hell you want.