How do you stick to a diet?

Aaron Howard27 said:Hold on a second, everyone... where is this conversation even heading? What is this talk about addicts? Where did that comparison even come from?? Are we supposed to be feeling sorry for them?? It’s not like I’m the one out there injecting them, right? Since when did addiction become some kind of genetic destiny?? Sure, a tendency toward weight gain exists—I get that—but even that isn't an issue if you just maintain a healthy perspective on it. I could honestly list a billion different examples and reasons why I might be sitting at 330 pounds today instead of my current 175, for instance. So what's your deal? Would you use that same logic to justify it if I murdered someone every time I ran into a problem? Or would you just say, without a second thought, that I belong in a maximum-security prison for life...
Oh, please, don't be ridiculous.

either way, you still weigh more than me lol.

Betty Harris15 said:Well... I eat junk because I have a massive sweet tooth and giving it up is too hard. Chocolate, cookies, ice cream, burgers, pizza... do I really need to keep listing them?

If you were actually a true foodie—someone who really appreciates high-quality flavors—you wouldn't be filling up on trash...

I think everyone eventually hits that moment where everything just clicks. You realize you can't keep going like this, and you simply refuse to spend your whole life feeling unhappy with yourself. That's when you truly change your habits and overhaul your entire lifestyle from the ground up.

Dieting alone is useless...

You have to find an activity that actually keeps you engaged. From what I've observed—and I'm speaking from experience with the women I know—the struggle for many is that they don't have any hobbies or interests, and they aren't willing to put in the work to find them. It's tough, I know...

Find something you genuinely enjoy doing. Without that spark, you can't force yourself to stay on a diet for the rest of your life. That’s exactly why people give up...

The key is to shift your habits by making an activity—whether it's cycling, weekend road trips, rollerblading, hiking, badminton, tennis, or volleyball—a fundamental part of your daily routine.
You're mostly just eating out of pure boredom...

Zachary Sanchez2 said:If you were actually a true foodie—someone who really appreciates high-quality flavors—you wouldn't be filling up on trash...

I think everyone eventually hits that moment where everything just clicks. You realize you can't keep going like this, and you simply refuse to spend your whole life feeling unhappy with yourself. That's when you truly change your habits and overhaul your entire lifestyle from the ground up.

Dieting alone is useless...

You have to find an activity that actually keeps you engaged. From what I've observed—and I'm speaking from experience with the women I know—the struggle for many is that they don't have any hobbies or interests, and they aren't willing to put in the work to find them. It's tough, I know...

Find something you genuinely enjoy doing. Without that spark, you can't force yourself to stay on a diet for the rest of your life. That’s exactly why people give up...

The key is to shift your habits by making an activity—whether it's cycling, weekend road trips, rollerblading, hiking, badminton, tennis, or volleyball—a fundamental part of your daily routine.
You're mostly just eating out of pure boredom...

Yeah, no. 🙂 Not everyone is wired that way. Men aren't either.

Maybe for some people it's true, but you can't paint everyone with the same brush.
A lot of folks just turn to food when life gets stressful because they haven't learned any other coping mechanisms, but otherwise, they're totally fine.

As for being bored? Honestly, I'd argue that heavier people actually have a lower tolerance for boredom. 🤔 They need way more stimulation than thin people just to stay focused on something else instead of reaching for a snack. Thin people get distracted by every little thing, which keeps them from thinking about food.🤷

I'm currently working through my own weight issues, so I spend a lot of time observing how fit people live—I'm basically taking notes from them. There's no other way, since I'm trying to tackle the mental side of this whole mess first.

Ugh... how many times do I have to tell you guys that I’m active and definitely not lazy when it comes to working out. Everyone keeps lecturing me about moving more, exercising, running, swimming—I do all of it, probably more than most of you combined. I live in San Diego and running the entire Balboa Park trail isn't even an issue for me.
But honestly, no matter how much I train, sure, it gives me strength and energy, but none of that matters if I come home feeling hungry, miserable, and unsatisfied, only to end up devouring two chocolate bars or whatever else is sitting in the fridge. It’s tough. Being alone makes everything feel a bit bleak and, honestly, kind of boring.

And what exactly makes you so miserable and pissed off when you get home?

Look, we're talking about some kind of void here 🤷
You've gotta figure out what kind of hole it actually is.

Are you starving for emotional connection—like a partner—or maybe just a career that doesn't suck?

I’ve been running since I was 16—dropped a ton of weight along the way—but I’m still wrestling with some leftover baggage. I get where you're coming from, 🙂 You need to rip this problem out by the roots.

quietpilot87 said:Look, we're talking about some kind of void here 🤷
You've gotta figure out what kind of hole it actually is.

Are you starving for emotional connection—like a partner—or maybe just a career that doesn't suck?

I’ve been running since I was 16—dropped a ton of weight along the way—but I’m still wrestling with some leftover baggage. I get where you're coming from, 🙂 You need to rip this problem out by the roots.

Yeah. I want emotional fulfillment. I want someone who actually gets how I see the world.

Betty Harris15 said:Yeah. I want emotional fulfillment. I want someone who actually gets how I see the world.

Guess we're on the same page then. More than anything, I just want my person. Someone where we feel 😍unstoppable together.🙏

It’ll all work out. Just keep doing the work, keep training, and don't let yourself get burnt out by everything hitting you at once. Don't lose your way—don't start chasing cheap thrills or meaningless flings just to fill the void. It'll come 🙂

quietpilot87 said:Guess we're on the same page then. More than anything, I just want my person. Someone where we feel 😍unstoppable together.🙏

It’ll all work out. Just keep doing the work, keep training, and don't let yourself get burnt out by everything hitting you at once. Don't lose your way—don't start chasing cheap thrills or meaningless flings just to fill the void. It'll come 🙂

exactly so.

If we allow ourselves to succumb to a sense of discontentment, others will certainly notice and begin to distance themselves accordingly. There is an American woman who once remarked that when you feel good, you should let it show on your face, and while that is one way to put it, there is a certain truth to the old adage that if you cry, you will do so alone, but if you smile, the world will smile back at you...

On a personal level, I struggle through my own bouts of melancholy every single day, yet I navigate them in solitude; regardless, I still make an effort to share smiles with others. In fact, one of the most profound moments I have experienced was during a particularly devastating and transformative day, when a few people told me, "Thank you for brightening our day with your smile and your spirit..."

We all crave being loved and held within the secure embrace of stable emotions, but perhaps love that is truly seeking connection can only hear its own echo. If there is a desperate struggle or a forced attempt to make love happen, it simply won't occur, and the body will inevitably carry the weight of those misguided choices...

Life is singular, yet opportunities are many; one must learn to surrender to the flow and find a way to appreciate both the highs and the lows. Most often, love arrives precisely when it is least expected.

Which is why I suggested earlier—take a deep breath and reflect upon what you actually do with your life, what fulfills you, and what brings you genuine satisfaction. Then, examine the root of your discontent and seek out your peace.

As for me, I am currently facing a stash of ice cream, Swiss rolls, an assortment of gourmet jams, deli meats, and cheeses waiting for me at home... The reality is that I am feeling quite unsettled, because I have finally met someone with whom there was an immediate, undeniable connection from the very first handshake, and now everything feels suspended. However, if I were to simply drown my sorrows in ice cream, it would offer nothing more than a momentary reprieve; tomorrow morning, the pain will remain just as sharp. It might even feel heavier when I recall how many times friends have told me what they value about me and why they are grateful to know me.

I shall simply grit my teeth and face the world... it is a matter of sheer character.

Betty Harris15 said:This is really interesting. You have to map out the concept of how to react before it works. But it isn't easy; it takes mental strength and endurance, and I've pretty much used mine all up. I'm just trying to find enough left in me to recover. Poor me.

It doesn't really take that much effort. Once you hit on a good strategy, just write down the procedure. Once it's on paper, you've got it. Done. You just pull it out whenever you need it.
There's also a chance you'll end up with two or three different "mental scripts" instead of just one, which you can swap between as needed, but that's about it. Nothing fancy.

quietpilot87 said:Guess we're on the same page then. More than anything, I just want my person. Someone where we feel 😍unstoppable together.🙏

It’ll all work out. Just keep doing the work, keep training, and don't let yourself get burnt out by everything hitting you at once. Don't lose your way—don't start chasing cheap thrills or meaningless flings just to fill the void. It'll come 🙂

The thing is, he’s already gone. It is what it is. Losing him was honestly the most painful thing I’ve ever dealt with. I felt like I couldn't even breathe. I was just gasping for air through the tears. Now, the grief is just killing me. I try to stay busy and do things that make me happy to turn things around... but the sadness is still overwhelming. The other day, I was at the beach with a friend, watching couples who clearly have nothing in common, and I just thought... we were soulmates, and now we're just wasting our lives. I started crying and couldn't stop. I’m not even the type of person who cries easily, so this feels weird and unbearable. We ended up buying ice cream and junk food just to comfort ourselves—eating and talking and eating more—but none of it really matters except maybe as a momentary distraction from this crushing weight. I felt this too early in life, and it’s destroying me.

Betty Harris15 said:either way, you still weigh more than me lol.

It really all comes down to height. 😉

Betty Harris15 said:The thing is, he’s already gone. It is what it is. Losing him was honestly the most painful thing I’ve ever dealt with. I felt like I couldn't even breathe. I was just gasping for air through the tears. Now, the grief is just killing me. I try to stay busy and do things that make me happy to turn things around... but the sadness is still overwhelming. The other day, I was at the beach with a friend, watching couples who clearly have nothing in common, and I just thought... we were soulmates, and now we're just wasting our lives. I started crying and couldn't stop. I’m not even the type of person who cries easily, so this feels weird and unbearable. We ended up buying ice cream and junk food just to comfort ourselves—eating and talking and eating more—but none of it really matters except maybe as a momentary distraction from this crushing weight. I felt this too early in life, and it’s destroying me.

I am currently navigating an identical situation. 😢 It is not merely sadness; rather, it feels as though a part of my physical being is dying away every single day. Though, I do not indulge in ice cream... I have reached a stage where even sweets would offer no relief.

It would help immensely if I were granted the chance to touch or hear him once more, yet I am plagued by the fear that such an opportunity will never materialize. I struggle daily against the urge to dial his number, terrified that there will be no answer on the other end. He won't respond to a text message either.

As for me, it seems I am losing weight without even trying, simply from the sheer exhaustion of stress, insomnia, constant rumination, and this pervasive grief.

In any event—do not cast blame upon yourself, because if you manage to escape the sorrow for even a brief moment, that moment is incredibly precious. One day, you will look back and laugh at how much ice cream you managed to consume...👍

Betty Harris15 said:Well... I eat junk because I have a massive sweet tooth and giving it up is too hard. Chocolate, cookies, ice cream, burgers, pizza... do I really need to keep listing them?

This could actually be a physiological addiction. When you're constantly flooding your system with sugar, you're basically feeding the yeast in your body—they're always hungry for more...
From what I've seen, it takes about 7 to 10 days to finally kick that sugar craving.

The way to fix it is through a varied diet (swap those simple carbs for complex ones and up the protein) and staying hydrated—aim for at least two liters of water a day.

Betty Harris15 said:Ugh... how many times do I have to tell you guys that I’m active and definitely not lazy when it comes to working out. Everyone keeps lecturing me about moving more, exercising, running, swimming—I do all of it, probably more than most of you combined. I live in San Diego and running the entire Balboa Park trail isn't even an issue for me.
But honestly, no matter how much I train, sure, it gives me strength and energy, but none of that matters if I come home feeling hungry, miserable, and unsatisfied, only to end up devouring two chocolate bars or whatever else is sitting in the fridge. It’s tough. Being alone makes everything feel a bit bleak and, honestly, kind of boring.

If you just focus on exercising, you're only going to drop weight if you burn more calories than you're putting in. Since you're eating junk food that's super calorie-dense but small in volume, it digests instantly. You're just going to feel hungry again immediately and end up back at the pantry!

Why not try some actual vegetables or whole grains instead of the chocolate? They'll actually keep you full for a decent amount of time, and they're probably way lower in calories than chocolate and all that other garbage.

Benjamin Grant6 said:I am currently navigating an identical situation. 😢 It is not merely sadness; rather, it feels as though a part of my physical being is dying away every single day. Though, I do not indulge in ice cream... I have reached a stage where even sweets would offer no relief.

It would help immensely if I were granted the chance to touch or hear him once more, yet I am plagued by the fear that such an opportunity will never materialize. I struggle daily against the urge to dial his number, terrified that there will be no answer on the other end. He won't respond to a text message either.

As for me, it seems I am losing weight without even trying, simply from the sheer exhaustion of stress, insomnia, constant rumination, and this pervasive grief.

In any event—do not cast blame upon yourself, because if you manage to escape the sorrow for even a brief moment, that moment is incredibly precious. One day, you will look back and laugh at how much ice cream you managed to consume...👍

You’ve got a different issue here. You're just too sensitive. 🙂

Look, it's obvious—not everyone puts on weight for the same reasons.

quietpilot87 said:You’ve got a different issue here. You're just too sensitive. 🙂

Look, it's obvious—not everyone puts on weight for the same reasons.

Overly sensitive? Perhaps I am highly perceptive, yes, but "overly sensitive" is an exaggeration... unfortunately, when one battles as many life hurdles as I have, others often find themselves expressing admiration for my resilience, whereas they might have crumbled under similar circumstances...

To be perfectly clear—I had a thoroughly "normal" upbringing with a healthy childhood, largely raised by my grandmother. The reason I began struggling with my weight is something I view as a matter of circumstance; it coincided with a pivotal year when my mother finally earned her degree and took full control of my discipline (she can be rather strict...). Whether it was practice or a tournament, I simply wasn't permitted to attend because I had to adhere to strict meal times, and without that structure, things spiraled. Following a significant injury at age nine, combined with forced inactivity and a penchant for sweets, I reached a threshold of weight that has become a lifelong struggle...

I am not on some restrictive diet, nor am I searching for radical solutions or making excuses; in fact, even today, I don't obsess over every morsel, but rather listen to my body. Does all that stress and my inherent sensitivity still influence my weight gain? Most likely...

From what I can gather, Betty Harris15 seems to be in a similar boat, and it is evident she struggles with the same issues I do—a certain lack of affection and emotional security. My only advice would be to cultivate a bit more self-belief and to stop assigning blame... mental strength develops gradually, just as one cannot expect weight to vanish overnight...

Any of us could achieve a slender, striking physique, but if we lack internal acceptance, all that effort remains futile. The most vital thing is to accept oneself—to recognize both strengths and flaws, and to maintain an honest internal dialogue...

Aaron Howard27 said:It really all comes down to height. 😉

How tall are you?

Benjamin Grant6 said:I am currently navigating an identical situation. 😢 It is not merely sadness; rather, it feels as though a part of my physical being is dying away every single day. Though, I do not indulge in ice cream... I have reached a stage where even sweets would offer no relief.

It would help immensely if I were granted the chance to touch or hear him once more, yet I am plagued by the fear that such an opportunity will never materialize. I struggle daily against the urge to dial his number, terrified that there will be no answer on the other end. He won't respond to a text message either.

As for me, it seems I am losing weight without even trying, simply from the sheer exhaustion of stress, insomnia, constant rumination, and this pervasive grief.

In any event—do not cast blame upon yourself, because if you manage to escape the sorrow for even a brief moment, that moment is incredibly precious. One day, you will look back and laugh at how much ice cream you managed to consume...👍

Haha. You actually made me laugh. I hope everything works out. Plenty of good things are happening to me too, but this nostalgia for him just casts a shadow over everything else. But hey, today is slightly better. I'm angry, sad, and feeling hollow all at once. A bit of everything, but better than yesterday. 🙂

Betty Harris15 said:Haha. You actually made me laugh. I hope everything works out. Plenty of good things are happening to me too, but this nostalgia for him just casts a shadow over everything else. But hey, today is slightly better. I'm angry, sad, and feeling hollow all at once. A bit of everything, but better than yesterday. 🙂

People often tell me that even in the most difficult circumstances, I still manage to force a smile 😁

but I find it much harder to be kind to myself... even if I won't let the smile fade 👍