How do you stick to a diet?

wearycobra252 said:First off, major props to your friend.👍 Second thing, though—your friend hit a stage where he was so heavy he couldn't move. That means he was pretty far gone, and something definitely led him to that point. It wasn't just "eating kale." When you lose the ability to live a normal life, that's usually a massive wake-up call that forces a change. And before he got there, he was likely miserable being that size, probably dealing with judgment from people like you who looked at him like some kind of spectacle. So many overweight people are trying. They stumble, they lose their way, or maybe they just haven't hit that breaking point where their weight makes daily life impossible yet. Are they somehow less worthy than your friend because he managed to pull through?

And where did you get the idea that everyone posting here is fat? I mean, personally, I'm not. Well, okay, I've been fighting my weight my whole life. I gain weight incredibly fast, I have a massive appetite, and food is my comfort zone. But still, I watch what I eat, I track my meals (sweets used to be my big vice, but I'm making great progress there), and I work out regularly... and despite all that, I slip up all the time. A couple of years ago, I put on ten pounds just because I let things slide—skipped the gym and my walks because college finals were piling up, and I started stress-eating. But I got back on track, and I know this battle is going to be with me forever. So, for someone like me, who's been careful since I was ten years old, who has full family support (my dad was basically a drill sergeant about it) ensuring we cook healthy meals, and who actually understands the fundamentals of nutrition and exercise... it's still incredibly hard. So how does it feel for someone who hits 30 and suddenly realizes they need a change? Someone who has a habit and an actual craving for greasy takeout and soda? That person has to overhaul their entire existence! Can you even begin to wrap your head around how difficult that is???

Look, just walk me through the logic here—seriously, explain it to me!! Why is it always so much easier to grab a snack than to actually lace up my sneakers and go for a walk? Please, someone, why does it work like that??

Morgan Martin5 said:Starving yourself just leads to that crash you’re talking about, and then you end up overeating anyway. It's a cycle. Honestly? Just eat a little bit of everything—like, seriously, just a couple of bites—but do it throughout the day. You won't tank your calorie count, and you won't deal with those sugar crashes that send you on a frantic hunt for sweets. Much better. 😁
I eat like a bird most days, just hitting those tiny little meals constantly. You spend the whole day feeling full, yet somehow you end up eating way less than when I was actually trying to follow some strict diet. How does that even happen? 🙂

Look, if you actually stick to it—like, if you stay hydrated and get moving for at least an hour a day (honestly, no fad diet is ever gonna outrun a solid workout)—you can basically eat whatever the hell you want.

See, listen to someone who actually knows what they're talking about!

Aaron Howard27 said:Look, just walk me through the logic here—seriously, explain it to me!! Why is it always so much easier to grab a snack than to actually lace up my sneakers and go for a walk? Please, someone, why does it work like that??

The answer to your question is pretty simple: we aren't all wired the same way. We don't all have the same cravings or willpower. Something that feels like a breeze for you might be an uphill battle for someone else—maybe even impossible.
And yeah, it works both ways too. 🙂

Nobody struggling with obesity is sitting there happy about their weight.

Aaron Howard27 said:Look, just walk me through the logic here—seriously, explain it to me!! Why is it always so much easier to grab a snack than to actually lace up my sneakers and go for a walk? Please, someone, why does it work like that??

Well, I think it’s because everyone has their own weird little way of dealing with stress. Some people find instant relief in food—at least, in that exact second. And in that moment, they aren't even thinking, "Oh, I'm eating this to cope." They just feel this massive, overwhelming urge to eat. If you look back at what I wrote about how I cut down on sugar, it made sense. At first, I started logging every single sweet thing I ate, and only then did I realize *why* I was reaching for them. Like, when I head straight for a pint of Ben & Jerry's, I'm not doing it consciously to manage my anxiety. I'm doing it because I have this intense, almost uncontrollable craving for sugar. It's like somewhere along the line in my life, I started linking sweets to comfort way more than most people do.

The other day at Target, I saw this woman with a kid who was absolutely losing it—just screaming his lungs out. To get him to quiet down, the mom told him, "Stop crying right now and I'll buy you some chocolate."
See, that kid viewed that chocolate as a reward. And if that kind of pattern keeps happening, there's a really good chance that as he grows up, he'll spend a huge chunk of his adult life rewarding himself with chocolate, without ever truly understanding the reason behind it.

wearycobra252 said:Well, I think it’s because everyone has their own weird little way of dealing with stress. Some people find instant relief in food—at least, in that exact second. And in that moment, they aren't even thinking, "Oh, I'm eating this to cope." They just feel this massive, overwhelming urge to eat. If you look back at what I wrote about how I cut down on sugar, it made sense. At first, I started logging every single sweet thing I ate, and only then did I realize *why* I was reaching for them. Like, when I head straight for a pint of Ben & Jerry's, I'm not doing it consciously to manage my anxiety. I'm doing it because I have this intense, almost uncontrollable craving for sugar. It's like somewhere along the line in my life, I started linking sweets to comfort way more than most people do.

The other day at Target, I saw this woman with a kid who was absolutely losing it—just screaming his lungs out. To get him to quiet down, the mom told him, "Stop crying right now and I'll buy you some chocolate."
See, that kid viewed that chocolate as a reward. And if that kind of pattern keeps happening, there's a really good chance that as he grows up, he'll spend a huge chunk of his adult life rewarding himself with chocolate, without ever truly understanding the reason behind it.

My parents made certain mistakes with my brother and me; we didn't even have to cry to get what we wanted, because there was always a cookie, a piece of chocolate, or some ice cream nearby... 😢 For much of our lives, we were raised to believe that breakfast, lunch, or dinner wasn't complete without something sweet, because we were taught to "scavenge" for treats while waiting for the main meal...

I have managed to distance myself from sugar somewhat, though certainly not entirely, as I found myself eating half a Kinder Bueno just this morning. A year and a half ago, I would have polished the whole thing off, followed by ice cream, perhaps a large chocolate bar, or even a whole pack of cookies. When my doctor informed me there was a high probability I would develop diabetes, I felt as though my world was collapsing... after all, how does one find a way to quit the very thing that sustains your happiness?

I made a clean break almost overnight. I didn't keep a log, even though that is actually a very effective method for self-reflection and awareness. I told myself I would try to go four days without any sugar, then seven, eventually setting a limit of ten days. This meant that after ten days, I could permit myself, say, one chocolate bar or some biscuits. This period of discipline lasted several months and required constant vigilance, as the temptations in the aisles were relentless. Nowadays, when I walk into a store, I might think about grabbing a bite, but instead of reaching for chocolate, I opt for almonds, cashews, or fruit... occasionally I'll treat myself to a juice, as I’ve successfully managed to move away from those as well...

The reality is that sugar triggers a sense of mild euphoria that is often missing when we feel stressed or anxious. Back when I used to head to campus in Chicago and tell my best friend how depressed the city made me feel, they would always respond with, "Just make some pasta, eat some chocolate..." However, one can also hop on a bicycle and allow oneself to be flooded with a wonderful surge of energy that provides a satisfaction quite similar to eating chocolate. Or perhaps running? My current tactic for dealing with melancholy is to put on my sneakers and run for at least one minute longer than I did the previous day...

One must set a goal! That goal should be the individual themselves and their own internal satisfaction, which may happen to be accompanied by improved physical appearance. A diet, strictly defined, cannot function if specific habits are constantly undermining it. A diet can only succeed if it becomes a lifestyle—a decision to eat healthier, punctuated by the occasional, measured reward...

Benjamin Grant6 said:My parents made certain mistakes with my brother and me; we didn't even have to cry to get what we wanted, because there was always a cookie, a piece of chocolate, or some ice cream nearby... 😢 For much of our lives, we were raised to believe that breakfast, lunch, or dinner wasn't complete without something sweet, because we were taught to "scavenge" for treats while waiting for the main meal...

I have managed to distance myself from sugar somewhat, though certainly not entirely, as I found myself eating half a Kinder Bueno just this morning. A year and a half ago, I would have polished the whole thing off, followed by ice cream, perhaps a large chocolate bar, or even a whole pack of cookies. When my doctor informed me there was a high probability I would develop diabetes, I felt as though my world was collapsing... after all, how does one find a way to quit the very thing that sustains your happiness?

I made a clean break almost overnight. I didn't keep a log, even though that is actually a very effective method for self-reflection and awareness. I told myself I would try to go four days without any sugar, then seven, eventually setting a limit of ten days. This meant that after ten days, I could permit myself, say, one chocolate bar or some biscuits. This period of discipline lasted several months and required constant vigilance, as the temptations in the aisles were relentless. Nowadays, when I walk into a store, I might think about grabbing a bite, but instead of reaching for chocolate, I opt for almonds, cashews, or fruit... occasionally I'll treat myself to a juice, as I’ve successfully managed to move away from those as well...

The reality is that sugar triggers a sense of mild euphoria that is often missing when we feel stressed or anxious. Back when I used to head to campus in Chicago and tell my best friend how depressed the city made me feel, they would always respond with, "Just make some pasta, eat some chocolate..." However, one can also hop on a bicycle and allow oneself to be flooded with a wonderful surge of energy that provides a satisfaction quite similar to eating chocolate. Or perhaps running? My current tactic for dealing with melancholy is to put on my sneakers and run for at least one minute longer than I did the previous day...

One must set a goal! That goal should be the individual themselves and their own internal satisfaction, which may happen to be accompanied by improved physical appearance. A diet, strictly defined, cannot function if specific habits are constantly undermining it. A diet can only succeed if it becomes a lifestyle—a decision to eat healthier, punctuated by the occasional, measured reward...

That's it right there!! Honestly, I'm so glad someone else finally put it that way! It just goes to show that it really is possible.
🙏

Aaron Howard27 said:Oh, sure... because it’s just so easy to drive everything straight off a cliff and then act surprised when you hit the bottom, right? Give me a break!

You're missing the point. Showing someone empathy or acknowledging they're struggling isn't the same as giving them a gold star for their bad behavior. You can understand why someone is hurting without validating their screw-ups.

If people actually spent half as much time trying to understand one another, helping out would be a lot less complicated.

It’s not about calling an addict an idiot or acting surprised that they ended up in a hole. That’s not how recovery works—it starts elsewhere. Most people find it way easier to fix things when you approach them with a bit of humanity instead of just being a jerk. I don't get why people find it so hard to just try and see where someone else is coming from.

Aaron Howard27 said:That's it right there!! Honestly, I'm so glad someone else finally put it that way! It just goes to show that it really is possible.
🙏

Is it really that hard to wrap your head around the fact that bikes actually exist? 😲
All these people typing away here, acting like they have no clue about such a basic reality... 🙄

The issue isn't whether or not a bike exists, Aaron. That's obvious to anyone actually paying attention.

Anyway, I'm out. Peace.

Aaron Howard27 said:That's it right there!! Honestly, I'm so glad someone else finally put it that way! It just goes to show that it really is possible.
🙏

Look, I figured out exactly what Benjamin Grant6 is talking about on my own over the last year, and even then, I still don't feel the need to be a jerk to people. You've got some issues, IMHO. 🤷

quietpilot87 said:Look, I figured out exactly what Benjamin Grant6 is talking about on my own over the last year, and even then, I still don't feel the need to be a jerk to people. You've got some issues, IMHO. 🤷

everyone has their own approach...😍 the reality is that regardless of how blunt someone might be, perhaps that harshness serves as a necessary wake-up call for those of us facing similar circumstances...

I’ve already spent two days arguing with my family at home just because I cut my portions in half... The most difficult part is trying to empathize with someone who has made a choice for their own sake when you perceive that choice in an entirely different light... 😁

Aaron Howard27 said:That's it right there!! Honestly, I'm so glad someone else finally put it that way! It just goes to show that it really is possible.
🙏

I mean, seriously, who on earth decided this was impossible? If we all just sat around believing that, we’d all just give up on everything and spend our lives waiting in line at the hospital for gastric bypass surgery! Of course it’s possible—hell, I actually pulled it off myself!
But let's be real, it isn't easy. That’s why you have to try and actually empathize with people dealing with this stuff instead of judging them before they even start! Good grief, you are being so stubborn about refusing to accept anything anyone says here...🙄

Benjamin Grant6 said:everyone has their own approach...😍 the reality is that regardless of how blunt someone might be, perhaps that harshness serves as a necessary wake-up call for those of us facing similar circumstances...

I’ve already spent two days arguing with my family at home just because I cut my portions in half... The most difficult part is trying to empathize with someone who has made a choice for their own sake when you perceive that choice in an entirely different light... 😁

Man, some people just can't stomach addiction. Well, I can't stomach being misunderstood. Honestly, refusing to understand someone in that context is nothing but pure ego.

As for being blunt? I'm not buying it. Sure, some people need a bit of shock therapy every now and then, but dumping massive amounts of aggression on someone doesn't fix anything. It’s a fact. Most people find it way more meaningful when someone actually tries to get where they're coming from—but in a healthy way. For instance, if you're trying to lose weight, I'm not going to insult your intelligence by mocking you for ever gaining the weight in the first place. But I'm also not going to hand you a Hershey's bar; instead, I'll have some fruit ready when you come over. That's how you handle it. Approaching people with a baseline level of respect isn't exactly rocket science.

quietpilot87 said:Man, some people just can't stomach addiction. Well, I can't stomach being misunderstood. Honestly, refusing to understand someone in that context is nothing but pure ego.

As for being blunt? I'm not buying it. Sure, some people need a bit of shock therapy every now and then, but dumping massive amounts of aggression on someone doesn't fix anything. It’s a fact. Most people find it way more meaningful when someone actually tries to get where they're coming from—but in a healthy way. For instance, if you're trying to lose weight, I'm not going to insult your intelligence by mocking you for ever gaining the weight in the first place. But I'm also not going to hand you a Hershey's bar; instead, I'll have some fruit ready when you come over. That's how you handle it. Approaching people with a baseline level of respect isn't exactly rocket science.

👍 I am absolutely, 100% on board with this.

quietpilot87 said:Man, some people just can't stomach addiction. Well, I can't stomach being misunderstood. Honestly, refusing to understand someone in that context is nothing but pure ego.

As for being blunt? I'm not buying it. Sure, some people need a bit of shock therapy every now and then, but dumping massive amounts of aggression on someone doesn't fix anything. It’s a fact. Most people find it way more meaningful when someone actually tries to get where they're coming from—but in a healthy way. For instance, if you're trying to lose weight, I'm not going to insult your intelligence by mocking you for ever gaining the weight in the first place. But I'm also not going to hand you a Hershey's bar; instead, I'll have some fruit ready when you come over. That's how you handle it. Approaching people with a baseline level of respect isn't exactly rocket science.

I find myself in agreement. My own defense against such bluntness lies in that tiny little vial of poison one might use to spark a reaction... I spent my entire childhood being told exactly what I was doing wrong or right, constantly critiqued, all while food was being shoved onto my plate regardless of whether I actually wanted it...

One should strive to treat others exactly as they would wish to be treated themselves, or perhaps more accurately in this particular context... one should offer support and genuine assistance without falling into the trap of unsolicited criticism or acting like a know-it-all...

Benjamin Grant6 said:I find myself in agreement. My own defense against such bluntness lies in that tiny little vial of poison one might use to spark a reaction... I spent my entire childhood being told exactly what I was doing wrong or right, constantly critiqued, all while food was being shoved onto my plate regardless of whether I actually wanted it...

One should strive to treat others exactly as they would wish to be treated themselves, or perhaps more accurately in this particular context... one should offer support and genuine assistance without falling into the trap of unsolicited criticism or acting like a know-it-all...

It’s the absolute worst way to handle things, and honestly, you see it all the time.
Sometimes it feels like those types only micromanage you just so they have something to occupy their own empty lives.🙂

quietpilot87 said:It’s the absolute worst way to handle things, and honestly, you see it all the time.
Sometimes it feels like those types only micromanage you just so they have something to occupy their own empty lives.🙂

My mother is quite ill at the moment, and if she spends the energy to cook, she expects you to clear the plate out of pure obligation... on the other hand, my father doesn't really have a hobby to ground him, as his life is a constant cycle of stress between managing his health and work, leaving him with nothing to do but cook and dream about his next sugar fix...

To be perfectly clear—they are at an age where they don't even register my opinion, yet it is exhausting to constantly wage a war just to justify why I won't eat something... I simply cannot spend my life perpetually overstuffed...

And, of course, the absolute worst way to handle things is attempting to force someone else to repeat your own mistakes...

No matter how much I resist or try to manage my own affairs—because if one isn't trying while young, when will they?—according to them, I'm always being dramatic... when the reality is, I'm struggling enough just trying to find pants that fit, especially since my waist size fluctuates wildly from a 40 to a 44 depending on the day...

James Ramirez10 said:The issue isn't really about the food itself; it's about what food symbolizes. We need to tackle that mindset first.

That's the catch right there.

wearycobra252 said:Oh, please, just get that out of your head! You really need to try shifting your mindset. Instead of feeling guilty, just tell yourself, "Hey, today was just a light breakfast and lunch kind of day." Seriously, being starving isn't a sustainable way to lose weight—I mean, sure, you might drop some pounds quickly, but it's terrible for your health in the long run. It’s much better to eat plenty of small meals and just aim for slow, steady progress. If you keep beating yourself up because you ate a little extra—which, let's be real, happens to all of us—you're just going to end up feeling sadder and more frustrated. Then comes the cycle: you eat more because you're upset, then you try to fast the next day, then you get so hungry by tomorrow night that you end up raiding the fridge at midnight, and then you feel even worse... and it just keeps going in circles.

This hits home. This is exactly what I do to myself. I feel pathetic and incapable, and I hate being in my own skin when I don't see quick results. Once I break the diet, I just spiral through this endless loop of failure. I blame myself, and then it's like, "Fine, I'll just be miserable and ugly, but I need the food." I can't stand myself or my own unhappiness. I've been stuck in this for years.

Keith Jones76 said:One more thing—think about which thoughts or beliefs (let's call them "B") sit between X and Y. For example:
X - Fighting with my boyfriend
*
Y - Anxiety and binge eating

*B - We should always agree, and since we don't, I should have prevented this. Since I didn't, I'm a bad partner and he won't want me anymore, so I might as well just suffer.

What turns the irrational B into something rational (Quincy):
Quincy - Even if we don't agree all the time, we can still have a perfectly healthy relationship. Despite this, I am a good partner, and he will still want me if things are meant to be. So, there's no reason to just spiral into suffering (instead, I face whatever the future brings).

Whenever X occurs, lean into the Quincy (over the B), and you've laid the groundwork to change Y! Then, you get a much better behavioral pattern—staying busy with what you were already doing, starting something new, or, if you actually are hungry, adding a different kind of food to the mix.

And don't force it!!! It’s a process, not a sudden pivot! It takes time for new behaviors to stick.

By using this method—introducing the 'Quincy'—you aren't forcing Y; you're creating the right environment for it to happen naturally 👍, so to speak. You're utilizing your own cognitive potential rather than relying on training designed for animals (no joke).
That's basically my point.

This is really interesting. You have to map out the concept of how to react before it works. But it isn't easy; it takes mental strength and endurance, and I've pretty much used mine all up. I'm just trying to find enough left in me to recover. Poor me.

Aaron Howard27 said:That’s coming from someone who thinks you shouldn't just demolish a mountain of chips and chocolate every time life gets a little messy. Look, I apologize if my honest takes on things offend anyone—I just don't believe we need to turn every minor setback into a full-blown crisis. I've dealt with plenty of my own nonsense over the years, and I never felt the urge to go on a binge eating spree! Sure, some people drown their sorrows in food, but if they complain about it later, I'm not exactly here to coddle them with patronizing comments like "it'll all work out," or "you can handle this, just take it slow," or "it's not that bad, just get your priorities straight and reorganize your schedule..." No, thanks. My approach is a bit more direct: sometimes things aren't actually that complicated, and the only real way out is to simply STOP EATING TRASH AND START MOVING MORE!! Seriously, if people don't like hearing that, well, that's on them. I don't feel the need to sugarcoat reality; I'd rather present things as they actually are. To me, using food to cope with a breakup over something trivial is one of the silliest ways to live, and frankly, it feels like a relic from a different century!! I mean, women are supposed to be empowered, right?? Or does empowerment only apply when it's convenient?? Because that's not how it works... most of my friends deal with breakups by just getting back out there and seeing someone new... is that really such a scandal??? Even in this day and age???

Viewing women solely as sexual objects = what the hell?? Where on earth did you even get that idea?? Women being treated as sexual objects interests me about as much as yesterday's weather... quite impressive, really, how much you think you can analyze others based on just two posts...

Don't get mad just because you aren't seeing the big picture. What seems easy to you might be impossible for someone else... I'm sure you have problems that feel unsolvable to you, even if they look dead simple to an outsider. Bottom line, you lack empathy. Too bad.