Did the brawl in paradise actually happen?

My parents never once laid a hand on me. Not once. My kid is pushing ten now, and she has never felt my physical force—and she never will, no matter what kind of trouble she gets into. Look, there are ways to discipline, there are consequences you can implement that actually work. Because of how I was raised, I have nothing but respect for my own parents to this day. My daughter knows just how lucky she is because her mom doesn't hit her. And you want to know how I know? She tells me. All the time. She talks about how she and her friends discuss it at school. And honestly? It’s heartbreaking. There are way too many parents out there who think they need to lash out physically just to "make a point." From everything my daughter tells me, kids don't actually learn why they shouldn't do something; they just learn to fear the next time they get smacked. They aren't learning respect; they're living in terror. That’s why they hide bad grades. That’s why they spiral into depression. That’s why they hide things like teen pregnancies until it's too late and they end up making desperate, fatal decisions—just to avoid being beaten by their parents. 👎... Is that really what being a parent is supposed to be? Plus, I know someone who is the first one to swing on her kid, even though she grew up in a house where she was constantly hit herself. You do the math.

Look, my brother did the exact same thing when he was a kid. Nobody laid a hand on him, and today he is a perfectly law-abiding citizen.
How a parent explains their actions matters immensely, whether they choose physical discipline or any other method.
I don't have kids myself, but I am no advocate for corporal punishment. Nor am I a fan of forcing my opinions on others. It is tragic when parents hit their children, but we cannot ignore the reality that raising stubborn brats is incredibly difficult. Some parents reach a breaking point and lash out, which only leaves them drowning in guilt and creates a toxic emotional environment for everyone involved. In my view, it is far wiser to avoid hitting altogether and adopt much more effective disciplinary methods. Even extreme psychological tactics—like those involving burning a stuffed animal—can trigger consequences far worse than a physical strike.
Some reading material for you:

http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepu...hment0319.html

And this:

Researchers analyzed survey data from 807 mothers of children ages 6 to 9, taken in 1988 and 1990. They compared levels of antisocial behavior among spanked and unspanked children over that interval.

According to the researchers, the more spanking a child received at the start of the study, the higher the level of antisocial behavior recorded by the end.

Antisocial behavior was defined as cheating, lying, disobedience at school, breaking things deliberately, a lack of remorse after misbehaving, or failing to get along with teachers.

To be honest, I’ve never once been on the receiving end of a beating, even though I certainly wasn't an angel growing up. I used to lock myself in my room so they’d have to break in just to talk to me, and I spent half my childhood climbing trees only to fall and break my arms. I can't even recall what they used to yell at me back then—I don't think I could hold onto those memories if I tried. But I will remember for the rest of my life the time my mom grabbed me by the hair because, at thirteen, I decided a coffee shop was a better destination than tennis practice. It didn't even hurt, really; I barely felt it. What truly stung was the sheer embarrassment of being treated like a child when I felt so grown up. After that, the idea of running away never even crossed my mind.
Of course, I’m not saying anyone should be hitting people—especially kids—over every little thing, let alone using a belt or anything like that. That sounds like some outdated military tactic to me. However, I wouldn't feel an ounce of guilt about grabbing a switch, giving them a quick tap on the fingers, and leaving it somewhere visible. Then, the next time they misbehave, I’d just point to it. If my parents had taken that approach, they probably would have saved a lot of money on furniture and a whole lot of stress on their nerves.

Kids are people too... adults are people too... so if you think it's okay for kids to get hit—maybe even by their own siblings—then why don't you go ahead and pick one up and keep them right where you can reach them at all times? Why? Because when you screw up, or your husband does, or your boyfriend, or your brother, or your dad, or your mom... someone needs to be there to deal with it. Maybe then they'll actually learn something! Since people are supposed to learn through experience while they're still alive, right? 🙂..
By the way, maybe try taking a little time to reflect on yourselves too, just so you don't forget who you are and end up making the same mistakes again.

John Parker5 said:Kids are people too... adults are people too... so if you think it's okay for kids to get hit—maybe even by their own siblings—then why don't you go ahead and pick one up and keep them right where you can reach them at all times? Why? Because when you screw up, or your husband does, or your boyfriend, or your brother, or your dad, or your mom... someone needs to be there to deal with it. Maybe then they'll actually learn something! Since people are supposed to learn through experience while they're still alive, right? 🙂..
By the way, maybe try taking a little time to reflect on yourselves too, just so you don't forget who you are and end up making the same mistakes again.

Ha ha. Brilliant!🙏
Personally, I think the worst thing in the world is a parent who treats their own kids like that. It's monstrous. And anyone defending this behavior is just trying to justify being a bully to those who are weaker than them.
And that's supposed to be a parent?!🙂🙂

I’ve taken a few hits in my life, and honestly? I deserved them. There were certain things a four or five-year-old just couldn't wrap their head around back then.
I don't carry any childhood trauma. Quite the opposite, actually. When it comes to parenting, I look at my own parents as the gold standard.

Would I ever lay a hand on a child? I can't say for sure. I have an endless amount of patience.
But dealing with kids is such shaky ground; you never truly know how far a single word or a specific gesture might push things.

Maybe I would end up losing my cool and swinging—I don't have kids of my own, so I'm really just guessing here.
But regardless, yes if I saw my children becoming so problematic that they were completely out of control.

Morgan Cooper34 said:I’ve taken a few hits in my life, and honestly? I deserved them. There were certain things a four or five-year-old just couldn't wrap their head around back then.
I don't carry any childhood trauma. Quite the opposite, actually. When it comes to parenting, I look at my own parents as the gold standard.

Would I ever lay a hand on a child? I can't say for sure. I have an endless amount of patience.
But dealing with kids is such shaky ground; you never truly know how far a single word or a specific gesture might push things.

Maybe I would end up losing my cool and swinging—I don't have kids of my own, so I'm really just guessing here.
But regardless, yes if I saw my children becoming so problematic that they were completely out of control.

Look, you're an adult, a mature person, and you shouldn't be allowing that. Clearly, not everyone is cut out to be a parent. You need a certain level of self-control if you're going to claim the right to have children in the first place. The real issue is that everyone thinks they have some God-given entitlement to parenthood.

That bolded statement isn't something to be praised.
A child is a whole new human being, and a sane person doesn't say they "can't handle" a kid so they have to lash out.
No, I'm not buying those nonsense excuses. It sounds exactly like those abusive husbands who claim their hand flies up just because their wife ☕got on their nerves...

Ladies, look at it this way: imagine if your husband or boyfriend laid a hand on you every single time you lied about being at work when you actually spent those six or seven hours grabbing coffee with a friend. Or guys, picture your wife losing her cool and hitting you because you were busy grilling fish and accidentally torched her favorite rosebush in the yard. Do you think you’d deserve a physical hit, or just a really intense, heated argument? Now, take all that and imagine how a child feels when they get struck by the one person they love more than anything in the world...
p.s. I know these examples are pretty basic, but honestly, nothing else popped into my head right then. 😁

Look, parents these days are way too soft on their kids. Most of them are so slammed with work they don't have the patience for deep, meaningful conversations, so they just resort to a quick swat to get things under control—it’s like a shortcut to peace and quiet. In my opinion, kids today are definitely worse than previous generations, but you can't blame that on a lack of discipline. No, blame it on the parents who say stuff like, "Leave me alone, I'm busy," or "Just watch cartoons, I don't have time to play right now." So, what happens? Kids start acting out in every way possible, whether they realize it or not, just to get some attention from their parents.

I’m with you on that one. Honestly, for every time a parent feels that urge to slap their kid, they should probably just give themselves a smack instead.

Truth is usually somewhere in the middle, just like it always is...☕

It’s totally unacceptable when a man hits a woman, or if a woman hits a man... but apparently, it's perfectly fine to lay a hand on a child?! Give me a break! The irony is just unreal..

Alex Patel96 said:Look, you're an adult, a mature person, and you shouldn't be allowing that. Clearly, not everyone is cut out to be a parent. You need a certain level of self-control if you're going to claim the right to have children in the first place. The real issue is that everyone thinks they have some God-given entitlement to parenthood.

That bolded statement isn't something to be praised.
A child is a whole new human being, and a sane person doesn't say they "can't handle" a kid so they have to lash out.
No, I'm not buying those nonsense excuses. It sounds exactly like those abusive husbands who claim their hand flies up just because their wife ☕got on their nerves...

Go read the thread about violent children. Personally, I've sat there and watched kids slap, spit at, and scream at their parents while the mother just crouches down next to them saying, "Oh honey, we don't do that."
Those kids grow up to be delinquents.

As for that bolded part, I was talking about parental statements and parental actions. In the sense that you truly never know how a single critique, a smack, or even just a harsh tone might wreck a child's self-esteem and shape their future behavior.

John Parker5—you're comparing spanking a kid for every little thing to "major" offenses. Take me, for example. I got my first real beating when I swiped candy from a convenience store for the fourth time. I was four years old. For the first three times, my mom tried the gentle approach—"Sweetie, that's not right, that's not okay." But honestly? If she hadn't laid the hammer down on that fourth time, I probably would've kept stealing.

Morgan Cooper34 said:Go read the thread about violent children. Personally, I've sat there and watched kids slap, spit at, and scream at their parents while the mother just crouches down next to them saying, "Oh honey, we don't do that."
Those kids grow up to be delinquents.

As for that bolded part, I was talking about parental statements and parental actions. In the sense that you truly never know how a single critique, a smack, or even just a harsh tone might wreck a child's self-esteem and shape their future behavior.

John Parker5—you're comparing spanking a kid for every little thing to "major" offenses. Take me, for example. I got my first real beating when I swiped candy from a convenience store for the fourth time. I was four years old. For the first three times, my mom tried the gentle approach—"Sweetie, that's not right, that's not okay." But honestly? If she hadn't laid the hammer down on that fourth time, I probably would've kept stealing.

Parents have to be authoritative. They need to stand firm behind their decisions, their reasoning, and their punishments. Kids are incredibly strong personalities—way stronger than we give them credit for. In most cases, kids with parents who lack authority grow up to be criminals. It’s a massive, complex issue... we could easily link this back to the Violent Kids thread. And yeah, I'm sensitive about the small stuff because, quite frankly, I'm against corporal punishment.

There is absolutely no excuse for hitting children with objects—belts, sticks, hairbrushes, you name it—but I don't see any harm in an occasional swat on the backside or behind the ear when necessary.

Talking things through is all well and good, but sometimes logic just doesn't cut it. Take this situation, for example:

I remember getting disciplined for the first time after I swiped candy from a convenience store for the fourth time in a row. I was four years old. For the first three times, my mom tried the gentle approach—"Sweetie, that isn't right, we don't do that." But honestly, if she hadn't finally laid down the law on that fourth attempt, I probably would have kept stealing.

What else was her mother supposed to do? Sit her down for the five-hundredth lecture? Children simply haven't developed the capacity for complex reasoning—you know, understanding cause and effect—that a rational adult possesses. That comes with age.

And looking at how many kids act these days... the screaming, the flailing, the sheer disrespect... honestly, good luck trying to reason with a little monster like that.

Morgan Cooper34 said:Go read the thread about violent children. Personally, I've sat there and watched kids slap, spit at, and scream at their parents while the mother just crouches down next to them saying, "Oh honey, we don't do that."
Those kids grow up to be delinquents.

As for that bolded part, I was talking about parental statements and parental actions. In the sense that you truly never know how a single critique, a smack, or even just a harsh tone might wreck a child's self-esteem and shape their future behavior.

John Parker5—you're comparing spanking a kid for every little thing to "major" offenses. Take me, for example. I got my first real beating when I swiped candy from a convenience store for the fourth time. I was four years old. For the first three times, my mom tried the gentle approach—"Sweetie, that's not right, that's not okay." But honestly? If she hadn't laid the hammer down on that fourth time, I probably would've kept stealing.

Those parents clearly have zero control and let things slide until they're dealing with actual criminals, but violence isn't the answer, obviously.
I honestly can't stand people whose first instinct is to hit, instead of saving it as a last resort.
Hitting kids is just a sign of total incompetence; it's what happens when people have no clue how to actually parent.👎

John Parker5 said:It's wrong if a man hits a woman, or a woman hits a man... but somehow it's fine to hit a child?! Give me a break! Talk about irony...

👍

Quote;
It’s great to talk to kids, sure, but if they just aren't hearing you, then they aren't hearing you. This is exactly what I mean. What was her mom supposed to do? Just sit there and lecture her for the 500th time? Kids haven't developed those higher-level reasoning skills yet—you know, that whole "cause and effect" logic adults use. That comes later.

It isn't just "nice" to do, it's absolutely necessary! Look, if you have to repeat the same damn thing ten times, then you do it. I'll say it again: parents just don't have the time or the patience these days. Kids aren't born little delinquents; they turn out that way for a reason, and if we don't step in early, well, mothers will be left picking up the pieces later! A three or four-year-old might not think like a fully grown adult, but they can definitely tell the difference between a firm, authoritative "NO" and some weak, half-hearted, pathetic "no."

Michael Ortiz5 said:There is absolutely no excuse for hitting children with objects—belts, sticks, hairbrushes, you name it—but I don't see any harm in an occasional swat on the backside or behind the ear when necessary.

Talking things through is all well and good, but sometimes logic just doesn't cut it. Take this situation, for example:

I remember getting disciplined for the first time after I swiped candy from a convenience store for the fourth time in a row. I was four years old. For the first three times, my mom tried the gentle approach—"Sweetie, that isn't right, we don't do that." But honestly, if she hadn't finally laid down the law on that fourth attempt, I probably would have kept stealing.

What else was her mother supposed to do? Sit her down for the five-hundredth lecture? Children simply haven't developed the capacity for complex reasoning—you know, understanding cause and effect—that a rational adult possesses. That comes with age.

And looking at how many kids act these days... the screaming, the flailing, the sheer disrespect... honestly, good luck trying to reason with a little monster like that.

For stuff like that, you go with consequences—limiting privileges or taking things away—not hitting them. If she swiped some candy, say, her mom should have just said, "No trips to Target for a bit," and actually explained why. Or maybe a temporary ban on sweets, again, with a clear explanation.
If a kid doesn't even have the cognitive capacity to tell right from wrong yet, then punishment—especially physical punishment—is useless. At that stage, the only thing that actually works is distraction.

Casey Wright4 said:For stuff like that, you go with consequences—limiting privileges or taking things away—not hitting them. If she swiped some candy, say, her mom should have just said, "No trips to Target for a bit," and actually explained why. Or maybe a temporary ban on sweets, again, with a clear explanation.
If a kid doesn't even have the cognitive capacity to tell right from wrong yet, then punishment—especially physical punishment—is useless. At that stage, the only thing that actually works is distraction.

I'm signing my name to every single word of this.👍

silentpilot6 said:If a kid tried to light a fire on the balcony and ended up setting the shutters ablaze, and you barely managed to stop the whole house from going up in flames, what would you have done?
I would have sat him down and said, "Look at what you've done, you little troublemaker..." Well, because I did that, I ended up getting a beating and learned some hard lessons. That was that. 😁

Just install aluminum shutters and call it a day, right? 😁
Man, "it's fine, just fix it later" is such a dangerous, lazy way of thinking—it’s a mindset that’s been rotting through society for generations. Trust me, violence doesn't just spawn out of thin air; it’s learned behavior, plain and simple.
The first three years of life are everything—that’s when you basically build a future bully. Honestly, I can't wrap my head around seeing moms who feel the need to constantly smack their kids... I mean, if they aren't already acting like primitive cavemen, shouldn't they be the ones providing some actual gentleness? Anyone using physical force like that is part of the problem. And let's be real, most of the time it isn't even a conscious choice—it’s just them repeating the patterns their own parents drilled into them (even if those parents are halfway across the country or long gone).