What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

Carol Palmer90 said:Yeah, that point about the remote work thing is such a solid argument. Honestly, it’s a total win 🤦

It’s just fantastic because I’m actually at home, I'm not stressed out, I have plenty of time to catch up on sleep, and I'm definitely staying much better hydrated than I would be if I were still stuck at the office...🙂

I second that. 😂
I’m also carrying a girl (pointed at Harmony). Apparently, for some people, I’m just glowing too much for a girl; meanwhile, I’m just enjoying being home. Luckily, I haven't dealt with any nausea or vomiting, I'm eating regularly and healthy, and this tea is as smooth as can be.😁

I was also on the Nifty regimen, and during those first four months, I dealt with such aggressive breakouts that people would practically recoil when they saw my face... Eventually, everything finally settled down, though I’m still left with these persistent red marks everywhere the acne used to be 😢

The only insight I ever got was from my sister, who mentioned after talking to her doctor that it’s actually quite plausible that being on the pill could cause this kind of facial reaction due to the surge in male hormones 😲

Thank God I’m feeling absolutely fine, but my friend? She is going through absolute hell. She can’t stop throwing up and she’s sleeping constantly—you can literally see the chronic exhaustion etched all over her face. And then, you have people turning around and saying, "Oh, you're just pregnant, you aren't actually sick..." Honestly, it’s driving me crazy. It’s as if unless you have a massive baby bump, you aren't a "real" pregnant woman and don't deserve any empathy. People are actually mocking her. She can barely even stay on her feet because she feels so miserable, yet she isn't even able to take medical leave. It's just infuriating.

People in their 30s who don't have kids yet acting like they're experts. (It’s always men—they always pivot to looking at their wife when I mention that having that many kids means someone actually has to stay home).

Look, just don't come at me with that "oh, I'm gonna have three or four kids, it'll be easy, it's a piece of cake" nonsense. It won't be some magical fairy tale without the meltdowns, the complications, the chaos, or the feeling like you're floating on cloud nine.

I'm five months along now, and my husband calls this the start of my "blissful period." Yeah, right. I'm sweet, I'm more sensitive, I'm gentle—but my fuse is basically non-existent. Luckily, I'm also a little hard of hearing, so I don't catch every single stupid thing people say.

Those types really make me want to push them down a flight of stairs. Hey, everyone has a right to an opinion, but this is one of those life stages where you don't get to talk trash about serious stuff. Have one kid first, survive the first 18 years, and *then* decide with your partner how many you can actually handle.

Don't get it twisted—I'm not some obsessed "mommy blogger" or a housewife type. I'm chill, I get everything done, I don't overcomplicate things, there's no drama, and I don't live in fear. That's exactly why I'm being super realistic and objective, and why I have zero tolerance for stupidity.

Second off: the woman with no job, no degree, sitting around the house, "studying" for ten decades straight, hating on old people, and then telling me how she'll just get pregnant with anyone and pop out a baby. It wouldn't even be that crazy if we didn't have a friend who's a single mom, so we actually know how brutal it is. Like, from what money? Where? How? You gonna lean on the parents you claim to despise?

Third: here I am waiting two hours for my amniocentesis results, surrounded by a bunch of women. Every single one of them is on Facebook, venting, complaining, and freaking out for absolutely no reason. Not one of them spent even three minutes actually educating themselves or getting informed.

The lack of basic information (and let's be real, bad dental hygiene) among pregnant women kills me. It's like it's 1913 and you're illiterate, living on some remote hill in rural Canada, and haven't washed your hair once in nine months.
And it's not just about specific tests like the double marker or amniocentesis; it's about pregnancy in general, childbirth, those first days with a newborn, knowing what's normal and what isn't. Use that smartphone for something useful!

This forum is packed with amazing info, experiences, and beautifully written advice. From my first pregnancy, I have about 15 pages of text saved from this site covering everything from pregnancy and labor to babies up to age three. I read through it all, and whenever I found something helpful or important, I just copied it into a Word doc. Nothing caught me off guard because I'd already encountered it through everyone else's stories.
Everything is right here and easy to find.

But whatever, I guess it's better to be rude, uninformed, and just whine and moan about how everyone else is to blame.

Basically a variation of "what are you even whining about? You haven't actually struggled."

Look, here's the thing—I am obsessively organized when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth (living in the US, if you aren't some kind of martyr, you basically have to be obsessed). My first pregnancy was smooth sailing, had an awesome emergency C-section, was up and walking immediately, and now this second one is just as great—I'm active, capable, and I'll choose a C-section again if I want... So no, I haven't "struggled," and I'm not complaining. That's the whole damn problem.

But after baby number two, I’m locking my uterus and throwing away the key. I am done. Period. I was dead serious and crystal clear about that back during my first pregnancy.

I don't enjoy being pregnant, I don't love giving birth, I'm not some saintly martyr, and I certainly don't think my DNA is vital to the survival of the human race. I hate the fear, the uncertainty, and all that stuff some women call "sweet anticipation"—to me, it's pure terror.

Can you feel him moving? Is he spinning enough? Is he spinning enough? Is everything okay? Is he developing right? What if his heart just stops beating and I have to face my absolute worst nightmare... I freaking hate pregnancy. 😀

And that's not even touching the responsibility of raising a kid—the love, the emotions, the illnesses, puberty, falling in love...

Then some "genius" decides to chime in (and honestly, it's usually men, though women think the exact same thing and just keep their mouths shut) and when they ask: "So, when are you having a third?" (since I *am* currently pregnant), and I give them my answer and explanation—never—they just launch into this massive monologue.
They're like, "How can you have nothing to complain about? Everything is perfect, you're young, you're well-off, you have help (seriously?! they haven't exactly been helpful so far), so why won't you have a girl?"

And what if it's another boy? Are we going to castrate him and raise him like a little girl?

Where do people even get the nerve to comment on stuff like this? Of course, people who have raised more than two kids never say a word about it.

Why do you even care? And do I really look like someone who's going to take that kind of stupidity sitting down?

copperdrifter5 said:I was really hoping for a girl, but we ended up having a boy. We knew the gender pretty early on because I had the Nifty scan, which is 100% accurate about whether it's a boy or a girl.
Did anyone else deal with people saying, "But what if it's actually a girl?" even after I explained the Nifty results and how certain we were it was a boy?

I honestly don't get why some people feel the need to spout such mindless nonsense and make these incredibly stupid comments.
It’s a terrible comparison, but I heard this same kind of idiocy when my mom passed away—people just don't know what to say, so they end up blabbing absolute garbage instead.

Or based on belly shape... 🤦

A father of three actually tried to lecture me on the street, claiming I'm carrying a boy because of the specific way my stomach is protruding.
He has one son and two daughters, so he thinks he "knows."
I told him—the 3D ultrasound showed everything clearly enough, so please stop bothering me with this old wives' tale nonsense; we aren't living in the 15th century.🤦

Walter Brooks56 said:Or based on belly shape... 🤦

A father of three actually tried to lecture me on the street, claiming I'm carrying a boy because of the specific way my stomach is protruding.
He has one son and two daughters, so he thinks he "knows."
I told him—the 3D ultrasound showed everything clearly enough, so please stop bothering me with this old wives' tale nonsense; we aren't living in the 15th century.🤦

Jesus. It honestly fascinates me how some people feel the need to dump unsolicited advice on complete strangers—pregnant women or moms with toddlers—regardless of whether they actually have any experience with kids themselves.

Nobody ever tries to give me life advice while I'm riding the subway to work. Or when I'm grabbing a steak. Or while I'm waiting in line at a public restroom. Or any other random moment in my life.

Stroller, baby, gear... the solution for many of these "one-hit wonders" is just to spout stupid, unnecessary, and unwanted opinions.

copperdrifter5 said:Jesus. It honestly fascinates me how some people feel the need to dump unsolicited advice on complete strangers—pregnant women or moms with toddlers—regardless of whether they actually have any experience with kids themselves.

Nobody ever tries to give me life advice while I'm riding the subway to work. Or when I'm grabbing a steak. Or while I'm waiting in line at a public restroom. Or any other random moment in my life.

Stroller, baby, gear... the solution for many of these "one-hit wonders" is just to spout stupid, unnecessary, and unwanted opinions.

The other day, a building cleaner actually lectured me because she saw me walking back with just one single bag from Target, which is only a five-minute walk from my place. She told me I should be more careful. 🤣 It was more funny than annoying to me. I just smile and keep moving.
Especially when everyone gives such conflicting advice. One person tells you to lie down and not move an inch, while someone else insists you need to walk for an hour every day.

copperdrifter5 said:Jesus. It honestly fascinates me how some people feel the need to dump unsolicited advice on complete strangers—pregnant women or moms with toddlers—regardless of whether they actually have any experience with kids themselves.

Nobody ever tries to give me life advice while I'm riding the subway to work. Or when I'm grabbing a steak. Or while I'm waiting in line at a public restroom. Or any other random moment in my life.

Stroller, baby, gear... the solution for many of these "one-hit wonders" is just to spout stupid, unnecessary, and unwanted opinions.

Oh, tell me about it...
It is as if I am made of glass.
I think I am reasonably capable of knowing what I can handle, what I cannot, and exactly how I feel.
Honestly, the hardest part is just being stuck at home; I get so restless and stir-crazy.
The groceries aren't going to magically appear if I need them (especially while my husband is grinding away at work), nor will the laundry fold itself or the dogs walk themselves.
If I truly couldn't manage, I would ask for help.

The day before yesterday, I was out hiking in the Catskills with the dogs—not far and certainly not alone, obviously—and today is my due date.
That trip recharged my batteries for the next three days; I feel wonderful.

People keep asking my five-year-old if he’s going to have a little brother or a sister. He’s dead set on it being a brother. This one old man tried to tell him, "Oh, you know it's definitely going to be a girl, 100%." Luckily, my little guy is pretty easygoing and doesn't let people get under his skin—he just looked right at the man and said, "Listen, I've got it written down right here: it's a brother, not a sister."

So, I was at a funeral yesterday, right? And this woman—my husband’s godmother—comes up to greet me. She mentions she’s only seen me twice in her entire life, and then, out of nowhere, she goes to pat my stomach.
I swear, I almost snapped and asked her what on earth she thought she was doing. 😁
Either I’ve clearly gained some weight or she just has zero class, but either way, it was incredibly tacky and weird.

I am honestly losing my mind over this constant nausea; having to force myself to eat something every few minutes just to stay upright is exhausting, especially since I’ve already put on about 6 pounds when I’m not even ten weeks along yet.
It is also incredibly frustrating being stuck in this perpetual state of fatigue where I feel like I can barely keep my eyes open, which is absolutely the worst timing possible because I have a massive workload right now and I desperately need to be able to focus at the office.
And don't even get me started on the lower back pain—my lumbar region is just constantly throbbing. There isn't a single chance of me sleeping on my back or sitting down for any length of time without feeling miserable. It's just gross.

Death of Art said:What truly grates on my nerves during this pregnancy—and I mean strictly internal, nothing to do with how other people treat me—is quite simply this:

-THE PARANOIA:
It’s everything and anything. Every conceivable ailment, whether medically plausible or purely imaginary. In these last four months, I am convinced I have diagnosed myself with everything from a common cold to a brain tumor.
And it doesn't stop there; even something as mundane as sitting down on a park bench triggers it. It’s revolting. My skin starts itching the moment I wonder if the fabric of my coat or skirt is thin enough to allow some microscopic bacteria or virus to migrate through my clothes, past my skin, and straight into my uterus.

Don't even get me started on medication.
I endure these migraines that drive me to the brink of insanity, and then I came up with this peculiar little ritual where I drink a glass of water and just pretend I've taken a pill.
And honestly? It actually worked.
After a while, it occurred to me that if this kind of autosuggestion could dull a headache... perhaps it's possible to trick the body into secreting its own version of Advil or something similar...
Eventually, even that thought turned into a new layer of paranoia, leading me to stop trying the mental trick altogether because who knows... maybe the mind possesses such terrifying power that it can spontaneously manufacture Voltaren within my own bloodstream.

Now, the current obsession is HPV, which I am certain I contracted about two months ago. I had a Pap smear three months back and everything was perfectly fine.
But now I'm convinced I picked up HPV at the OB-GYN right after that exam, so I'll be heading in for a DNA PCR test to settle it. You see, I once sat directly on the exam table without a sheet, and later realized the paper covering hadn't been replaced at all; someone else had clearly been sitting there before me, and they undoubtedly had HPV, and I simply sat right in the path of it.
God help me... now I have to worry about HPV too. I'm even starting to question whether I should stop seeing the gynecologist for pelvic exams entirely, because at this point, I can't trust anything.

Then there is the sheer paranoia regarding herpes.
I went to try on a new blouse the other day... and suddenly, I felt a wave of nausea. I thought I might actually faint when the realization hit me: I was trying on an unwashed garment that hundreds of strangers had likely worn, and now I'm just sitting here waiting for the symptoms to manifest.

And towels... I wouldn't dare touch my private areas with a towel anymore, even if Anthony of Padua himself commanded it. Even if it's been washed, who knows whose hands were on it previously, or where those hands had been before that?
I'd much rather use disposable wipes that feel slightly more substantial than toilet paper.

And so it continues....

🤣

Law

Death of Art said:the worst part is, I’m not even being hyperbolic here.

I neglected to mention that at one point, I was genuinely convinced that down in the basement of Petrov Memorial Hospital, they were sacrificing women to some pagan deity, drugging them up and doing God knows what else...

and now, I find myself scouring the internet for those medical-grade stethoscopes doctors use, just so I can personally monitor my baby's heartbeat.

My OBGYN referred me to a psychiatrist to get authorization for stronger sedatives, because apparently, my current meds are about as effective as a placebo.😂

Yet, there is this pervasive dread regarding seeing a psychiatrist—this fear that I'll be slapped with an involuntary commitment, where they'll forcibly pump me full of medication, and I won't be able to make them understand that I am pregnant and cannot risk those drugs.
I already have the entire harrowing sequence playing on a loop in my mind:
"Oh, she's delusional. She thinks she's actually pregnant... let's just hit her with a double dose of antipsychotics mixed with heavy sedatives..."
And I'm just there, screaming, "No! That will kill my baby!!!"
Then they restrain me, inject the medication, and in the chaos, there's physical violence, and I end up losing the baby... a complete catastrophe!...

And looking back on it now... if I can actually navigate this pregnancy, I feel like I could endure anything life throws at me, because this experience feels like a descent into absolute, terminal psychosis.

🤣

Legendary !!

It truly grates on my nerves to be sitting here listening to three elderly women right outside my window, relentlessly berating me because I’m not out there gathering the fruit falling from the tree in my neighbor's yard—their little mantra being, "Oh, she just drives right past in her car, she won't do it, she absolutely WON'T"

Good grief, the sheer triviality of their preoccupations; when I hear them sitting there gossiping and prattling on, it’s usually just two retirees and a third woman who has apparently exhausted her entire intellectual capacity simply by raising three children, though she certainly has plenty of opinions to dish out until she turns her back

The reality is, I am in my own home, in my own yard, in my own driveway, with my own vehicle; if I decide to take a bag of fruit I've gathered from the ground and carry it inside, that's my business, and they can go ahead and make some jam out of whatever falls, provided they don't mind the mess left behind by the local dogs wandering through the yard—one neighborhood pet and a few overly eager strays
In general, I find people quite irritating, particularly certain women who seem to believe that having lived a bit longer grants them a monopoly on wisdom, citing nothing but their offspring as proof of their superiority; now, I have immense respect for mothers, truly, but certain individuals—mostly from the older generation—are exceptionally taxing. A large portion of my relatives on my father's side includes those self-proclaimed sages whose sole purpose in life was raising kids while the men worked away at the factory... honestly, what an exhausting way to live. It’s always something like, "My daughter-in-law has to wear one of those orthodontic braces, why on earth would she need that?" or "Oh, my son already has two grown children," or "My youngest is still in high school"—even when the woman in question is clearly struggling to maintain any semblance of a relationship with her husband
And then there are the various idiots who show up at the house unannounced, along with these meddling neighbors; I find myself increasingly drawn to the idea of moving somewhere much smaller, perhaps a quiet town in the Midwest, where you aren't forced to listen to the neighbors' nonsense while you're trying to eat dinner

I genuinely fail to comprehend why people feel such a profound compulsion to obsess over the lives of others
Personally, I have never felt the urge to pry into why a couple doesn't have children, or why someone has fallen leaves scattered across their lawn...

When people tell me—specifically my mom—that I shouldn't get worked up because it’ll somehow affect the baby, like they can just sense my stress levels or something...
I really do try my best not to let the little things get to me, but honestly, who can actually stay 100% calm for nine straight months??

Plus, I have a 2.5-year-old at home who is constantly cycling through different moods and phases, so you basically have to be on high alert 24/7...

Then there’s the insomnia. During the day, whenever I actually have a chance to nap, my brain just won't shut off. Then at night, I’m just tossing and turning for hours—I get this restless feeling in my legs, and the baby is kicking around so much in my stomach that I can't even get comfortable. And just when I finally manage to drift off... the toddler starts waking up, and then 😵

The newborn is only a month old, too, and she's only just starting to actually sleep...

It’s honestly kind of hilarious—and a little startling, too—how these intense cravings have just hit me out of nowhere. I feel like I can’t get enough fruit lately... specifically plums and those fuzzy peaches, you know? And then there's bananas, cherries, watermelon—I just can't stop. Beyond that, my body is screaming for cheese and sour cream with bagels, or maybe just cream cheese on a toasted bagel. Tuna pasta is a huge hit right now, and pancakes... though they *have* to be with apricot jam. Nothing else even comes close, really. Even fruit yogurt with cherries hits the spot. It’s definitely not the most "perfect" or healthy diet, but at least I can actually eat it without feeling nauseous... Oh, and I discovered this lemonade with rose water that tastes amazing, though I'm trying not to overdo it because of the heartburn.

On the flip side, the less fun stuff isn't exactly a blast—dealing with heartburn, constipation, constant bloating, being exhausted all the time, and that morning nausea... but, well, I guess it's all part of the ride...

The first four months of pregnancy: you don’t even have a bump yet, so everyone keeps asking, "Wait, are you actually pregnant?"
By the sixth month: suddenly, it's all, "Oh wow, look at that belly! Are you about to pop any day now?"
🤦🤦🤦🙂

Personally, I find other people's stares quite unsettling.
I know I can't control how people act when they walk by, but there's just something about being looked up and down that gets under my skin. 🕺

My sister-in-law and her endless advice (honestly, she gets on my nerves even when I'm not pregnant, so I don't know if that even counts)😬