What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

Ugh, I swear, all this unsolicited advice just drives me absolutely insane. It’s not even that the advice itself is necessarily stupid—it’s just the people giving it, you know? Like, why am I getting life lessons from someone who had their first kid fifteen or twenty years ago? My coworker was actually being pretty chill about it, though—she was telling me how her daughter, who's got three kids now (the oldest is sixteen and the baby is only one), basically said that everything has changed since she first became a mom. From the practical stuff to diapers and a million other tiny little things... everything is different now. Honestly, the only advice I actually value is what we share here on the forum; all that other noise just gets under my skin.
And don't even get me started on my mother-in-law. She can tell I'm not buying any of it, but she still tries. It's like, "Oh, eat some pears, they're so healthy!" and then I have to explain—for the literally four hundredth time—that I'm skipping the pears because they're way too heavy on my stomach. Then it's, "But you eat tomatoes and bacon just fine!" and I'm like, no thanks, I'm not eating bacon if I don't want to deal with all that salt bloat and water retention. Just more nonsense.

I see we’re all getting hammered by our partners lately. It probably stems from the fact that we expect them to hold us like we're made of glass while our hormones are basically running a complete takeover of our brains—and honestly, they just don't get it.
The way most of you are describing your partners sounds exactly like my husband during my first pregnancy. I was miserable because he seemed totally indifferent to everything I was going through. Worst of all? Once the baby actually arrived, he spent the first couple of months looking completely clueless about how to even handle a newborn. I really think that if it's their first kid, they’re just lost. They suddenly find themselves stuck with a wife who is a total stranger because her hormones are doing their thing—one day everything is fine, the next day it's a disaster. In those first few months, the baby needs a mom, and frankly, they don't feel needed. Not that I'm making excuses for them, but I think they need some time to figure out their footing too.

And look, when a baby comes along—especially the first one—it changes everything. It changes you as a woman and a mother, and it changes him as a husband and a father. If there were any cracks in the marriage before, they are going to widen now. When people warned me about this, I thought, "Yeah, right," but man, was I wrong. A baby changes your entire world.

If it helps at all, I’m pregnant again with our second. My husband (knock on wood here); he’s taken over almost all the heavy lifting regarding our oldest. He’s always asking if I need a back massage, insists on rubbing lotion on my legs, and constantly checks in to see how he can help. He reminds me every single day not to stress out at work (which, let’s be real, is impossible) and told me he’d love nothing more than to send me off to a quiet beach resort just so I could relax and enjoy this pregnancy without a care in the world. He’s always asking if I’m craving something specific so he can go grab it, and he’s even suggested we hire a housekeeper so I can just take it easy.

In this pregnancy, it’s pretty obvious he’s actually enjoying it; he’s already obsessed with baby gear. To all the ladies reading this: hang in there. Just push through it—things will eventually get better, you’ll see.

Oh, and something that totally caught me off guard during this pregnancy? I have an intense craving for apple cider vinegar. I haven't touched the stuff in my entire life.

Ugh, I’ve been having such a rough time sleeping this past week... Honestly, I hit the pillow absolutely exhausted and pass out instantly. But then, just a few hours later? I’m tossing and turning like crazy. It actually feels like my hips are going numb from lying still for too long, and then the cycle starts. I have to get up to use the restroom, then I realize I'm parched, so I grab some water, crawl back into bed, and—you guessed it—back to the bathroom again. Then I'm thirsty once more... it's just an endless loop! And the worst part? My husband is sleeping so peacefully right next to me. How have you all been handling sleep during these weeks of pregnancy? (I know it only gets worse as you get closer to the finish line!)

cosmicwalker17 said:Ugh, I’ve been having such a rough time sleeping this past week... Honestly, I hit the pillow absolutely exhausted and pass out instantly. But then, just a few hours later? I’m tossing and turning like crazy. It actually feels like my hips are going numb from lying still for too long, and then the cycle starts. I have to get up to use the restroom, then I realize I'm parched, so I grab some water, crawl back into bed, and—you guessed it—back to the bathroom again. Then I'm thirsty once more... it's just an endless loop! And the worst part? My husband is sleeping so peacefully right next to me. How have you all been handling sleep during these weeks of pregnancy? (I know it only gets worse as you get closer to the finish line!)

Knock on wood, I've never slept better than I have during this pregnancy. Even now, I can sleep for 10 hours straight without even needing to get up to use the restroom.
The only thing is, for the last two or three days, it's been harder to fall asleep because I have about 13,758 things on my mind (strollers, cribs, bedding, labor, bloodwork, money, labor, labor...) just overthinking everything.
Plus, my apartment is too warm, which definitely doesn't help me drift off.

cosmicwalker17 said:Ugh, I’ve been having such a rough time sleeping this past week... Honestly, I hit the pillow absolutely exhausted and pass out instantly. But then, just a few hours later? I’m tossing and turning like crazy. It actually feels like my hips are going numb from lying still for too long, and then the cycle starts. I have to get up to use the restroom, then I realize I'm parched, so I grab some water, crawl back into bed, and—you guessed it—back to the bathroom again. Then I'm thirsty once more... it's just an endless loop! And the worst part? My husband is sleeping so peacefully right next to me. How have you all been handling sleep during these weeks of pregnancy? (I know it only gets worse as you get closer to the finish line!)

It was the same for me, but it finally let up after 16 weeks.

Also, I realized that if you actually get up once, twice, three times... your body starts expecting it. I eventually tried to just stay put and resist the urge.

The other thing is, if you absolutely have to use the restroom, you have to go.

I just lost my cool looking at the thread about pregnant women getting priority on the Women's Corner subforum.
To be honest, it’s more about the posts from certain inconsiderate women...

It's true what they say: a woman is a wolf to another woman.
Absolutely disgusting.

We should probably start tagging their usernames next to their posts in the pregnancy section, just so we can ask them how they're feeling now.

I am just so incredibly exhausted—like, beyond drained. People who didn't realize I was pregnant thought I was just being moody or totally unmotivated.

Now that everyone knows—because news travels at lightning speed in an office—I’ll mention how tired I am, and my manager just gives me this blank stare and snaps, "Oh, you're sleepy? You've only been pregnant for a month, don't be dramatic." 😲😲😲 Yeah, right, because she clearly knows exactly how I feel better than I do 🙄

On another note, I've already dealt with some ridiculousness. While my regular OBGYN was away on vacation, I noticed some brownish discharge and figured I might have a yeast infection. I went to see the doctor covering his practice, and the nurse there flat-out refused to see me. 😲 She claimed they only squeeze in pregnant patients if they are actively bleeding. Seriously? If I were actually bleeding, I wouldn't be sitting in a waiting room at a community clinic; I'd be heading straight to the ER. 🙄 When I vented to my coworkers about it, they lost it on my behalf, telling me I should have fought harder to be seen. But whatever, I just went to a private specialist the very next day. He saw me without any issues, and I even got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. 😍

My due date is only ten days away, and I’ve been getting daily phone calls from people asking if there's any news yet because apparently, someone else's baby is arriving early—WTF? 😠 Then there's this one lady who told me, "Starting today, I'm calling you every single day just to see if the baby's here." So, I finally just told her, "Actually, I won't be picking up the phone at all." 😠😠

I figured I had to tell people my due date so they could help out with childcare once the little one arrives, but man, look at the reaction I got... It's funny because when I was pregnant with my first, I kept everything so quiet; nobody even knew the exact date, and we didn't tell a soul until the baby was actually already born. Ahhhhh 🙏

boldgull54 said:My due date is only ten days away, and I’ve been getting daily phone calls from people asking if there's any news yet because apparently, someone else's baby is arriving early—WTF? 😠 Then there's this one lady who told me, "Starting today, I'm calling you every single day just to see if the baby's here." So, I finally just told her, "Actually, I won't be picking up the phone at all." 😠😠

I figured I had to tell people my due date so they could help out with childcare once the little one arrives, but man, look at the reaction I got... It's funny because when I was pregnant with my first, I kept everything so quiet; nobody even knew the exact date, and we didn't tell a soul until the baby was actually already born. Ahhhhh 🙏

Man. You wouldn't know if you were in my shoes. I should have been in labor already.
And my mom calls me every damn day just to ask, "Are you in pain yet?"
It drives me crazy because for five days now, it’s been hit or miss—sometimes it hurts, sometimes it doesn't—and I have no idea what to tell her when she calls while I'm feeling fine, even if it starts cramping up later tonight. Stop asking such stupid questions. Just leave me alone. I don't know if it hurts or not! And then she uses that pathetic tone: "Are you hurting, sweetie?..."
I'm losing my mind!!!!!!!!!

And every single person sends texts like, "Did you have the baby yet?"
Like, seriously, am I going to hide in a shed with my newborn and vanish from the face of the earth? Good grief.

I've stopped answering the phone. I can't deal with it because it's always the same thing—no "hello," no "how are you," just "are you in labor?"
What kind of stupid question is "ARE YOU IN LABOR?" Yeah... yeah, I'm literally in labor right now, screaming in pain, and sure, I'll definitely pick up the phone mid-contraction just to update you. Yeah, okay.🙄

I am in a world of hurt.

Kevin Bailey2 said:Man. You wouldn't know if you were in my shoes. I should have been in labor already.
And my mom calls me every damn day just to ask, "Are you in pain yet?"
It drives me crazy because for five days now, it’s been hit or miss—sometimes it hurts, sometimes it doesn't—and I have no idea what to tell her when she calls while I'm feeling fine, even if it starts cramping up later tonight. Stop asking such stupid questions. Just leave me alone. I don't know if it hurts or not! And then she uses that pathetic tone: "Are you hurting, sweetie?..."
I'm losing my mind!!!!!!!!!

And every single person sends texts like, "Did you have the baby yet?"
Like, seriously, am I going to hide in a shed with my newborn and vanish from the face of the earth? Good grief.

I've stopped answering the phone. I can't deal with it because it's always the same thing—no "hello," no "how are you," just "are you in labor?"
What kind of stupid question is "ARE YOU IN LABOR?" Yeah... yeah, I'm literally in labor right now, screaming in pain, and sure, I'll definitely pick up the phone mid-contraction just to update you. Yeah, okay.🙄

I am in a world of hurt.

I guess it's just how it is for everyone near the end. They've driven me completely nuts with the questions too. When my husband dropped me off at the hospital, I told him, "Don't you dare think about calling anyone to tell them I'm here," because they'll be blowing up my phone all night and day, and honestly, a woman needs peace after she gives birth...

I’ve still got like 50 days left until my due date, and honestly, I am so sick of everyone asking the exact same thing—like, do we know if it’s a boy or a girl yet? My mother-in-law thinks we’re just being secretive or whatever, but the baby is just positioned in a way where you can't see anything, you know? It’s driving me absolutely nuts, I swear. If they really care about the gender just to go out and buy clothes, then whatever, I don't care. My aunt already put together little outfits for both a boy and a girl since her own grandkids are twins, so she's ahead of the game. As long as the baby is healthy, that's all that matters to me, really.
Oh, and don't even get me started on the constant comments about whether I look like a balloon or not.

So, I’m pregnant again. Second time around...
During my first pregnancy, the constant unsolicited belly touches and everyone asking if it was a boy or a girl drove me absolutely insane. And now? It's happening all over again. God, I hate this...

cosmicorca15 said:So, I’m pregnant again. Second time around...
During my first pregnancy, the constant unsolicited belly touches and everyone asking if it was a boy or a girl drove me absolutely insane. And now? It's happening all over again. God, I hate this...

Everyone touches me. Everyone. Every single person. But I find it so awkward to actually tell them to stop. I just sit there thinking: well, it's not hurting me or the baby, right? But at the exact same time, it drives me absolutely crazy. 😲

It honestly drives me nuts when people try to be all "helpful" with their constant unsolicited advice. Like, if I’m heading down to Miami for a beach trip, suddenly everyone’s telling me I have to swim, or if I don't swim, then I *definitely* have to swim, or I need to eat this or that... it's just total madness coming at you from every single direction 😲
So, like, how am I supposed to stay chill? I'm told not to get stressed out, but meanwhile, everyone is just getting on my last nerve. I just wish people would leave me alone, you know?
And then there's the constant questioning about the future too—like, what's the plan, which preschool are we picking, which elementary school... it never ends.

My belly has shot up so much over the last few days that it’s obvious I’m nearing the finish line (36 weeks along). Now, everyone who lays eyes on me—from the cashier at Target to old acquaintances I haven't spoken to in years—feels entitled to grill me with questions or launch into their own unsolicited birth stories.
Honestly, it doesn't even bother me that much. I'm used to it, and sometimes it’s actually kind of nice.

On the flip side, the people who *actually* should be asking how I am? They stay silent...

I’ve been reading some of the comments from certain colleagues lately—stuff like, "When we start hiring more women, we should make sure to ask if they have a boyfriend" 😠 or even worse, "It would be better to just hire lesbians because they definitely won't end up getting pregnant" 😲. Honestly, it's just pathetic... 😠

cosmicorca15 said:So, I’m pregnant again. Second time around...
During my first pregnancy, the constant unsolicited belly touches and everyone asking if it was a boy or a girl drove me absolutely insane. And now? It's happening all over again. God, I hate this...

I honestly only touched a coworker's stomach once, and that was because she actually gave me permission and even lifted her shirt a bit so I could get a better look.🤣

hiddenscout362 said:I’ve been reading some of the comments from certain colleagues lately—stuff like, "When we start hiring more women, we should make sure to ask if they have a boyfriend" 😠 or even worse, "It would be better to just hire lesbians because they definitely won't end up getting pregnant" 😲. Honestly, it's just pathetic... 😠

hiddenscout362, I'll tell you what—just stay home. Seriously, nobody is going to go easy on you, and you certainly won't be hearing any thank-yous.

Richard Jones28 said:hiddenscout362, I'll tell you what—just stay home. Seriously, nobody is going to go easy on you, and you certainly won't be hearing any thank-yous.

Yeah, I can already see where this is going, and I’m just going to end up losing my mind😠
and honestly, given everything going on right now, that is the last thing we need.

It honestly irritates me when I have to come across certain posts on this subforum—and then deal with reading them while I'm scrolling through.
I’ve noticed a pattern where some moms tend to mirror the behavior of others, only to completely vanish from the community once certain situations start to unfold.
Isn't it interesting how people can pick up on someone's vibe just through text alone? Whether it's positive or negative, you can really feel it.