Not wanting kids: Is it just me?

Bradley Smith said:I actually liked your first reply better; too bad you deleted it
🤣 and honestly, nothing beats watching you bring up sex in a thread about kids🤣
man, you're something else🙏 🙏 🙂

what was that thing you said about not standing out? :wipes a tear from eye:

Well, damn... if I'd known you liked the first response that much, I wouldn't have hit delete.🤣
The only reason I pulled it was because I didn't want this whole discussion to spiral completely out of control—but clearly, we're already there.😁
Are we going to get banned for going off-topic?🙂

Gerald Scott4 said:Well, call me a slut then.🙂

nah, just kidding

Bradley Smith...

Gerald Scott4 said:👍People tell me all the time that they're actually afraid of me...🤣🙂
and honestly, I take that as a huge compliment.🥳
Though, it is pretty hilarious to me that women who are barely 5'4" and 105 lbs are supposedly "scared" of me.😁

That used to be my height and weight for years. Now... better if I just stay quiet... 😢

amberfox4 said:Suppressing all that anger is definitely a recipe for health problems.
I wouldn't say I get truly furious over things like this—it's hardly worth my energy—but I do find myself feeling quite frustrated with my own reactions when I get defensive, mostly because I have this nagging desire to avoid being harsh.

Deep down, you actually want to 😁, you're just scared.

Give it a shot next time and let us know how it goes. 🙂

crimsongull20 said:Bradley Smith...

That used to be my height and weight for years. Now... better if I just stay quiet... 😢

🙂

crimsongull20 said:Deep down, you actually want to 😁, you're just scared.

Give it a shot next time and let us know how it goes. 🙂

I honestly suspect the core issue here isn't even that people are being intentionally or maliciously rude, though it certainly feels that way; rather, I think they genuinely believe that asking such questions is perfectly acceptable social behavior.
And if I were to push back—saying something along the lines of, "Well, excuse me, but I find that a bit intrusive, don't you think? Those are private matters..."—then the other person would simply offer some defensive retort like, "Oh, don't be so sensitive, I didn't mean anything by it, I don't see what the big deal is..."
And just like that, I end up looking like the aggressor, acting brusque or difficult, while the other party maintains this air of innocence, claiming they had no ill intent whatsoever.
Please, I am in desperate need of some actual advice on how to navigate this.

amberfox4 said:I honestly suspect the core issue here isn't even that people are being intentionally or maliciously rude, though it certainly feels that way; rather, I think they genuinely believe that asking such questions is perfectly acceptable social behavior.
And if I were to push back—saying something along the lines of, "Well, excuse me, but I find that a bit intrusive, don't you think? Those are private matters..."—then the other person would simply offer some defensive retort like, "Oh, don't be so sensitive, I didn't mean anything by it, I don't see what the big deal is..."
And just like that, I end up looking like the aggressor, acting brusque or difficult, while the other party maintains this air of innocence, claiming they had no ill intent whatsoever.
Please, I am in desperate need of some actual advice on how to navigate this.

That response you suggested isn't rude at all; it's incredibly soft.

Even if their intentions are good, remember that the road to hell is paved with them. Why are you so afraid of coming across as blunt?

If you're worried about the confrontation, just pretend you didn't hear them. Turn your head, look away, and change the subject immediately.

crimsongull20 said:That response you suggested isn't rude at all; it's incredibly soft.

Even if their intentions are good, remember that the road to hell is paved with them. Why are you so afraid of coming across as blunt?

If you're worried about the confrontation, just pretend you didn't hear them. Turn your head, look away, and change the subject immediately.

And you know what, I recall a time when a female acquaintance of mine, someone roughly my age, decided to pry into the specifics of how my husband and I manage our finances—given that I don't hold a traditional job, he works abroad, and I tend to travel quite a bit, though there are various private reasons for our lifestyle that we certainly feel no obligation to explain to anyone... but that is beside the point.
To be perfectly honest, I found myself quite taken aback by her inquiry, even though this isn't the first instance where someone has directed such culturally insensitive and intrusive questions toward me regarding matters that involve absolutely no one else but my spouse and myself.
I always find myself stumbling when faced with these kinds of interrogations, primarily because it remains utterly incomprehensible to me why people feel entitled to ask such things, and consequently, I struggle to formulate a response.
I am acutely aware that I owe no one an elaborate explanation regarding the private affairs of my husband and me.

Look, let’s be real here. Not everyone operates on the same wavelength, and certainly not everyone views certain topics as taboo. I know people who will literally wave their paychecks in your face and vent loudly about how they’re struggling to survive on these damn $893, acting like the utility bills are the only thing hitting their bank accounts $500, while their spouse's Social Security check is nothing more than $460 plus a tiny $33 kicker.
At the exact same time, I know folks who guard their finances and private business like it's a state secret. One acquaintance of mine bought an apartment recently and refused to even hint at whether she took out a mortgage or paid cash. It was like she thought someone was going to jump out from behind a bush and steal her wallet just because she shared the details!
Personally, I’ve never been one for keeping massive secrets, and I don't lose my mind if someone asks me what I make or dives into other personal matters.
Whether I actually answer those questions really just depends on who I’m talking to and whether I feel like being open in that moment. Usually, I’ll give a ballpark figure, sometimes I’ll dodge the question entirely, and occasionally I’ll just tell them the exact truth. I don't sweat it either way. I'm fully aware that I can be a bit indiscreet myself sometimes, so I don't see why anyone else should have to be so guarded.

It isn't so much that these topics are strictly forbidden or shrouded in mystery, but rather a matter of fundamental social etiquette; one simply doesn't pry into certain matters unless the individual chooses to volunteer that information themselves.
Perhaps it is my own disposition that finds this behavior particularly grating, as I have never once felt the inclination to subject someone to intrusive, private inquiries, nor do I possess any genuine curiosity regarding their personal affairs—in fact, I struggle to grasp why anyone would find such details worthy of interest in the first place.
It never even occurs to me to dwell on the private lives of others, let alone pose questions of such a nature, so I don't really require a formal code of conduct to guide me; I suppose I simply possess an innate sense of propriety and decorum.

I still can't quite wrap my head around why this wasn't posted over on the Women's Corner.

Not me🤷
I guess the mods decided we all belong in a psych ward instead☕

We touched on this over on the Reddit threads recently, so there’s probably no point in rehashing the whole thing here.
Plus, it's actually pretty interesting how things are pivoting toward what hannah3 was mentioning—basically, how to shut down people fishing for info without feeling like a complete jerk about it 🤷 while still keeping your boundaries intact