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Best self-help books?

Started by shadowcrane192 · · 👁 6 views · 118 replies

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Participants shadowcrane192Jesse Ortiz4William Nelson7Brandon Jackson49hollowdrifter77darkhawk30dustynomad182Samuel Miller21nimblesailor3Anthony Baileynimblepilot29Joshua Carter97feralhound55James Sanchez12placidrangerThomas Walker13Peter Phillips32hiddenhawk3amberbadger8silentcyclist3electrictiger70Kyle Lee7feraltrucker5graniteangler55 …
placidranger placidranger Regular
339 messages
joined Sep 2004
#61 ·
electrictiger70 said:He was a psychologist? 😲 Well, look where that gets you... 🤣

No, this is mostly about self-image.

Is it an e-book? If I send you my email via PM, could you send it over? :blink,blink: I would really love to finally wrap my head around what this is all about and how it actually differs from NLP.

Yeah, something like that—a counselor and a "professor of counselor education." 🤷
The guy really lost his grip years ago. I remember reading some of his stuff on "manifesting"... 😵
Is it an e-book? If I email you via PM, could you send it over? :blink,blink: I’d love to finally figure out what this is all about and how it actually differs from NLP.

Sure. It doesn't really have much to do with NLP.
placidranger placidranger Regular
339 messages
joined Sep 2004
#62 ·
electrictiger70 said:I am not afraid of quantum physics. You completely misunderstood my point. I was simply saying that within the specific context of quantum mechanics—where the idea that you get what you seek, or that reality itself depends entirely on the observer, actually holds weight...

Quantum physics gets shoved into the self-help genre because it sounds fancy and scientific—but in reality, it has absolutely zero connection to consciousness or any of that nonsense.
placidranger placidranger Regular
339 messages
joined Sep 2004
#63 ·
Kyle Lee7 said:Most people carry around this messy mix of positive and negative beliefs, and their reality ends up being a direct reflection of that—it’s really just a blend of the good and the bad. For instance, I’ve always held the firm belief that my education and career path will go well, and as long as I maintain that high vibration, I find myself constantly moving upward. Of course, I occasionally get tripped up by sudden waves of doubt or fear, which causes things to slide downhill for a bit. However, because my baseline frequency for my professional life stays so positive, any falls are short and minor, while the progress remains steady. On the flip side, I struggle with some deep-seated negative beliefs regarding my personal life that stem from my early childhood. As long as I’m clinging to those old patterns and mindsets, I find myself stuck in the exact same cycles in my private life.

So, what, a three-year-old kid in a rural village facing terminal illness just needs to "think more positively"? That actually makes sense, apparently. 👍
electrictiger70 electrictiger70 Active Member
85 messages
joined Jan 2008
#64 ·
placidranger said:Quantum physics gets shoved into the self-help genre because it sounds fancy and scientific—but in reality, it has absolutely zero connection to consciousness or any of that nonsense.

I actually have to disagree on this one. :P There really is a connection, specifically through that whole "observer" paradigm that gained traction once physics started suggesting that the act of observing influences reality—that the observer essentially helps shape reality. I won't go into a full lecture here unless I want a group of physicists jumping me, 😁, but I truly believe there is something there. It aligns incredibly well with my favorite Zen philosophies and certain psychological frameworks. And so on.
electrictiger70 electrictiger70 Active Member
85 messages
joined Jan 2008
#65 ·
placidranger said:Yeah, something like that—a counselor and a "professor of counselor education." 🤷
The guy really lost his grip years ago. I remember reading some of his stuff on "manifesting"... 😵
Is it an e-book? If I email you via PM, could you send it over? :blink,blink: I’d love to finally figure out what this is all about and how it actually differs from NLP.

Sure. It doesn't really have much to do with NLP.

I read one of his pieces where he claims he felt this overwhelming higher calling one day to go out and interpret Taoism. He does such a terrible job of interpreting it, though. So, my conclusion is simple: either he’s insane, or that "higher calling" was just pure madness. 😂

It can. It doesn't actually have much to do with NLP.

Great. And by the way, I really dig the signature. 😍
placidranger placidranger Regular
339 messages
joined Sep 2004
#66 ·
electrictiger70 said:I actually have to disagree on this one. :P There really is a connection, specifically through that whole "observer" paradigm that gained traction once physics started suggesting that the act of observing influences reality—that the observer essentially helps shape reality. I won't go into a full lecture here unless I want a group of physicists jumping me, 😁, but I truly believe there is something there. It aligns incredibly well with my favorite Zen philosophies and certain psychological frameworks. And so on.

physicists would come for you😁 No, seriously—quantum physics is being totally misinterpreted by the self-help industry.
electrictiger70 electrictiger70 Active Member
85 messages
joined Jan 2008
#67 ·
placidranger said:physicists would come for you😁 No, seriously—quantum physics is being totally misinterpreted by the self-help industry.

And what makes you an expert on this? Are you perhaps a physicist? 😁 If so, why don't you go ahead and provide a correct interpretation—specifically, explain to us exactly which parts of quantum physics are being misapplied in self-help literature.😛
placidranger placidranger Regular
339 messages
joined Sep 2004
#68 ·
electrictiger70 said:And what makes you an expert on this? Are you perhaps a physicist? 😁 If so, why don't you go ahead and provide a correct interpretation—specifically, explain to us exactly which parts of quantum physics are being misapplied in self-help literature.😛

http://www.csicop.org/si/9701/quantum-quackery.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_mysticism
I'm no physicist—thankfully, I have Google to do the heavy lifting. 😁

The bottom line? There’s zero evidence that consciousness or mere thoughts have any actual impact on physical reality.
electrictiger70 electrictiger70 Active Member
85 messages
joined Jan 2008
#69 ·
placidranger said:http://www.csicop.org/si/9701/quantum-quackery.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_mysticism
I'm no physicist—thankfully, I have Google to do the heavy lifting. 😁

The bottom line? There’s zero evidence that consciousness or mere thoughts have any actual impact on physical reality.

Skeptical inquiry—it seems skepticism is your close friend. 😉 Actually, I won't say more; sometimes being skeptical proves useful. 🙂
Good grief, why don't you just try explaining that to me in two or three sentences? I really don't have the energy to deal with this quote so late at night. 😁 🥳 🙂

Regardless, Deepak Chopra (1989) 😲... there is so much I am going to learn here.
Samuel Miller21 Samuel Miller21 Member
39 messages
joined Jun 2008
#70 ·
placidranger said:http://www.csicop.org/si/9701/quantum-quackery.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_mysticism
I'm no physicist—thankfully, I have Google to do the heavy lifting. 😁

The bottom line? There’s zero evidence that consciousness or mere thoughts have any actual impact on physical reality.

However, within the psychological domain, consciousness *is* the reality. 🤷
electrictiger70 electrictiger70 Active Member
85 messages
joined Jan 2008
#71 ·
Alright, look, everyone here keeps rambling on about consciousness being this cosmic currency, talking about the Supreme Being and all that fluff... That wasn't my point at all. I wasn't thinking about those Hindu concepts or those vague, overwhelming "oceanic" feelings—actually, 😉 I’d rather not even go there. I don't really care for those expansive, watery approaches; I find myself much more drawn to Zen, Buddhism, and similar disciplines.

There's some interesting, though somewhat unrefined, material here: http://www.abstractatom.com/buddhism_and_modern_physics.htm. However, I actually produced a solid paper on this exact subject once. I need to dig through my files to see if I still have a copy somewhere...
placidranger placidranger Regular
339 messages
joined Sep 2004
#72 ·
electrictiger70 said:Skeptical inquiry—it seems skepticism is your close friend. 😉 Actually, I won't say more; sometimes being skeptical proves useful. 🙂
Good grief, why don't you just try explaining that to me in two or three sentences? I really don't have the energy to deal with this quote so late at night. 😁 🥳 🙂

Regardless, Deepak Chopra (1989) 😲... there is so much I am going to learn here.

Things happen regardless of whether anyone is watching. Period. There have been countless attempts to argue the opposite, but nothing has ever actually held up under scrutiny. Is there something specific you're struggling to wrap your head around?
Whatever. Dr. Deepak Chopra (1989) 😲 What am I even going to find out on this place?

Physician.
physicist
placidranger placidranger Regular
339 messages
joined Sep 2004
#73 ·
Samuel Miller21 said:However, within the psychological domain, consciousness *is* the reality. 🤷

Exactly—thoughts only impact our subjective reality. Basically, we can learn to reinterpret the chaos around us, which is where that whole "positive thinking" thing actually holds some weight.
electrictiger70 electrictiger70 Active Member
85 messages
joined Jan 2008
#74 ·
placidranger said:Things happen regardless of whether anyone is watching. Period. There have been countless attempts to argue the opposite, but nothing has ever actually held up under scrutiny. Is there something specific you're struggling to wrap your head around?
Whatever. Dr. Deepak Chopra (1989) 😲 What am I even going to find out on this place?

Physician.
physicist

There is. First—how exactly would you go about proving that what you observe is your subjective reality rather than an objective one? As far as I am aware, that hasn't even been the subject of proof or disproof; a subjective perspective is distinct from an objective one. Therefore, it remains unproven that things happen independently of the observer's consciousness.
Whether we are discussing Schrödinger's cat or Mujin's board, as you so eloquently put it in a previous post. Furthermore, the observer alters the course of the experiment; this is already well-established in the social sciences.
Second, why aren't you responding to my PM? 😉 😁

physician - medical doctor,
physicist - physicist.

Aha, right. For a moment, I actually wondered if it was just a result of my declining English skills. 🤣
electrictiger70 electrictiger70 Active Member
85 messages
joined Jan 2008
#75 ·
placidranger said:Exactly—thoughts only impact our subjective reality. Basically, we can learn to reinterpret the chaos around us, which is where that whole "positive thinking" thing actually holds some weight.

Now, if we dive into some heavy philosophical waters: what truly constitutes subjective reality? And where does the line get drawn between what is subjective and what remains objective reality?😉
placidranger placidranger Regular
339 messages
joined Sep 2004
#76 ·
electrictiger70 said:There is. First—how exactly would you go about proving that what you observe is your subjective reality rather than an objective one? As far as I am aware, that hasn't even been the subject of proof or disproof; a subjective perspective is distinct from an objective one. Therefore, it remains unproven that things happen independently of the observer's consciousness.
Whether we are discussing Schrödinger's cat or Mujin's board, as you so eloquently put it in a previous post. Furthermore, the observer alters the course of the experiment; this is already well-established in the social sciences.
Second, why aren't you responding to my PM? 😉 😁

physician - medical doctor,
physicist - physicist.

Aha, right. For a moment, I actually wondered if it was just a result of my declining English skills. 🤣

I'm not following your question. We were discussing quantum physics. 🤷It hasn't been proven that consciousness influences reality.
Schrödinger's cat or Mujin's board—whatever fancy way you phrased it in an earlier post. Furthermore—the act of observing changes the course of the experiment; we already see this in the social sciences.

That might hold water in social science, but in physics? For crying out loud, it doesn't work like that. 😁
Second, why aren't you answering my DM? 😉 😁

Dammit, check your email. 😁
feraltrucker5 feraltrucker5 Active Member
117 messages
joined Oct 2012
#77 ·
electrictiger70 said:Offt:
"Occasionally," huh? Look, Nex, it's fine, 🙂 there's no need to be embarrassed. You can just admit that you actually swallow everything those authors write and occasionally tune into Oprah too. This is a Psychology thread; we allow even more blunt confessions here than people do in the US. 😂 From "I can't find a partner" to "I am hitting my head against a wall," provided you include the mandatory disclaimer of "occasionally" or "I have a friend who does that," depending on which version makes you feel more comfortable. 🤣

😂

No, it’s more like "occasionally" because I honestly read everything... I mean, I'll jump from self-help manuals straight into trashy crime novels, then pivot to biographies of Soviet dictators, and somehow end up with a chick lit paperback by mistake 😁 And besides, the local library won't let you check out more than three books at once anyway 😢

But hey, you actually gave me a pretty interesting topic to chew on.
Jonathan Kelly33 Jonathan Kelly33 Newcomer
3 messages
joined Jul 2008
#78 ·
electrictiger70 said:Caroline Myss's anatomy of spirit is a little pathetic and overly sentimental in an American way, but it’s actually good. It’s especially useful when someone has been struggling with a chronic illness for years without understanding the cause; modern medicine often completely overlooks the mind-body connection.
As for Consciousness—is that by Mel? That one is alright. Toxic Parents is pretty infuriating; it’s helpful to understand the mechanics of it, but honestly, who wouldn't want to strangle their own parents after reading it? 🤣 I haven't read the others.

If you want to heal your spirit and body, check out Louise Hay—that's basically a manual, you really have to put in the work with that book.
Then there's *The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People* by Covey—also a total manual. Great for control freaks or entrepreneurs; he was basically an expert at fixing interpersonal dynamics within American corporations.
And *The Power of Now* by Eckhart Tolle—absolutely stellar read.
My psychiatrist actually recommended the book on toxic parents. It's specifically for people coming from dysfunctional families who need to process deep trauma—for anyone else, it's probably way too heavy and honestly unnecessary.
I absolutely love de Mella—he's so easy to talk to and stays positive, even though he’s brutally honest. Besides being a priest, he was also a psychotherapist.
Kyle Lee7 Kyle Lee7 Active Member
149 messages
joined Nov 2007
#79 ·
placidranger said:Thoughts shape subjective reality—but they have zero impact on objective reality. There's still no proof that thought influences physical matter, despite countless attempts to prove otherwise. Just because religions claim something doesn't make it true.
The fact that your thoughts don't physically manifest right in front of your eyes the moment you think them—which is why you can't wrap your head around it—is a completely different issue altogether.
And just because modern science is struggling to explain these laws doesn't mean they don't exist.

A few centuries ago, people like you were arguing that the Country was a flat disc, simply because you thought we'd all fall off if it weren't.

Actually, it's the exact opposite—what you're describing is an ancient dogma, essentially the equivalent of believing the Earth is flat. Both are nothing more than unverified convictions.


You might be wrong, but hey, that's your right.😉
Kyle Lee7 Kyle Lee7 Active Member
149 messages
joined Nov 2007
#80 ·
electrictiger70 said:I think we need to emphasize certain points here... it holds true that some of your thoughts or unconscious patterns might eventually lead to an energetic blockage or physical illness because the psyche and the body are not separate. However, saying that simply learning life is dangerous will cause you to contract a specific disease feels like a bit of an overreach to me. I understand your point, but I think you are exaggerating, primarily because the implications of your claim are extreme and parts of the logic don't quite hold up—this whole quantum physics angle isn't that simple. For instance, what about those people who do terrible things and think terrible things every day, yet nothing bad seems to happen to them? That’s where the error lies from the start: what we are discussing isn't just "thoughts," it is unconscious belief patterns. Saying thoughts shape the world is not the same as saying unconscious belief patterns shape the world.

People also resist this idea because it would imply they are responsible for the bad things in their lives, but that shouldn't be viewed that way. First off, they aren't "to blame" and they didn't desire for bad things to occur, but they were—unbeknownst to them—sending out signals that say: I am powerless, and the world is a terrifying and dangerous place.
But one day, when you realize how this works, you realize that from that moment on, you have freedom and choice.

Of course, as you noted, you can try to think positively at a hundred miles an hour, but if deep down you harbor unconscious emotions, beliefs, or childhood traumas, those conscious positive thoughts won't act like a magic wand. However, every single positive thought does bring a slight shift, which leads to new positive thoughts, which brings further shifts.
The real work is on oneself, and that is a lifelong endeavor.

I agree with your line of reasoning, but I would still choose to swap "positive thinking" for the underlying belief patterns behind those thoughts... And that is why this entire psychology of "positive thinking" doesn't work at all; you can hardly address unconscious patterns through conscious positive thinking. It's been tested, and it's ineffective.🤣, the best possible outcome when you find yourself in this position is simply negation.
If we are discussing the process of becoming aware of the underlying belief patterns that drive our thoughts, then we are dealing with an entirely different matter altogether 👍

- I didn't actually mention quantum physics anywhere
-unconscious belief patterns are incredibly powerful, though that doesn't mean conscious thought lacks influence—it’s really just a matter of which areas of your life have blocks and which don't. Where there's no resistance, you can easily "allow" things to happen
-it all comes down to flow versus resistance. There is a powerful life force at play, and then there is resistance (the more resistance you create, the more problems you attract—and that resistance comes from both conscious and unconscious beliefs or feelings, like thinking "nobody loves me," for instance)
-following that logic, any positive thought, feeling, or belief—whether conscious or subconscious—will always carry more weight than a negative one
-positive thinking works, provided you aren't fighting against it by doubting its very power (which creates resistance)
-trying to force positive thinking on someone when their "vibration" is miles away from that state is just unproductive. You're absolutely right there, but that's why you have to take it one step at a time, like climbing a ladder (for example, if you feel sad, the first move might be shifting toward anger, then to frustration, then maybe impatience, then toward a sense of positive expectation, then optimism, then excitement, and finally relaxation... you can't just skip ten steps from sadness straight to pure happiness)
-as for the people who constantly think and act poorly: just because you don't see immediate consequences doesn't mean they aren't happening. They might feel miserable internally, suffer from health issues, live in a constant state of rage, or eventually face justice, much like how Radovan Karr did

In my experience, I don't know a single person who constantly thinks and acts poorly while remaining genuinely happy. That alone is a massive contradiction!

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