Schizophrenia - General Discussion

briskgull27 said:I'm heading over to Queens tomorrow. Hopefully, they won't lock me up.
I'm actually pretty nervous about it.

Is this a mandatory checkup?

It’s not like there are strict rules I have to follow. I’m pretty easygoing, so I usually just hash everything out with my doctor over the phone at the local community clinic. They aren't going to lock me up; they don't even have the facilities for it.
But once she heard my voice, she insisted that I come in person.🙂 ☕

briskgull27 said:It’s not like there are strict rules I have to follow. I’m pretty easygoing, so I usually just hash everything out with my doctor over the phone at the local community clinic. They aren't going to lock me up; they don't even have the facilities for it.
But once she heard my voice, she insisted that I come in person.🙂 ☕

Then you have nothing to worry about. 🙂 She simply wants to see you in person.

She wants to tweak my therapy sessions a bit. To me, she’s basically like God to everyone else here.
She’s the one calling all the shots regarding my future.

Based on your posts, you strike me as someone pretty hyperactive—always popping in and out of here. I have a buddy with that exact diagnosis who doesn't get seizures, though. He was always the life of the party. He poured all that energy into his guitar, and honestly, if someone had pointed him in the right direction, he could’ve made it big. As a person, though, he’s tough to deal with. Nobody can follow his train of thought because it's just too scattered. Eventually, people just find him exhausting. How does your inner circle handle you? Do you even have friends?

Honestly, my husband is just incredibly intuitive. Ever since we got together, I’ve been constantly amazed at how someone can understand me so perfectly. He’s just a grounded, sensible guy. While I have friends, I don't really have the energy to go out of my way to maintain what I consider high-quality friendships. I have plenty of acquaintances 🤣
but I’m also extremely hard on myself and others alike.

briskgull27 said:I honestly can't say what it looks like from an outsider's perspective;
That sudden surge of energy feels great at first, but once you've been hit by the crash,
it’s pretty much over.
It's also true that when I'm stuck in a depressive phase at home, my body actually aches.
And if I'm not fully psychotic but feeling slightly manic, my libido just skyrockets.

I feel like I have to share this: I'll never forget the time after receiving electroshock therapy on my Rib,
I woke up, started walking down the hallway, and ended up having a bathroom accident right there while the nurse was yelling:
"Go wash up!"

Sometimes, when you're transitioning from one medication to another, the depression is purely a side effect of the meds.
My diagnosis was recently updated to F25, which seems accurate—it's essentially a mix of schizophrenia and bipolar symptoms.
When I'm at work, I prefer not to get too emotionally close to my coworkers;
I find I much rather just lose myself in my paperwork.

On the days when I'm doing well, I'm wonderful company, and I know I'm feeling good, so I always think: I hope this lasts.😲

As for hallucinations, I'm aware they aren't "normal," so I usually just keep quiet and don't bring them up out loud.

Why on earth did you allow them to use electroshock therapy on you? That kind of treatment is incredibly taxing on the body.
And if a nurse was actually yelling at you like that, why didn't you file a complaint with the head nurse, the chief of medicine, or even Medicare?

Do you really think anyone asks for your permission before they start administering ECT?
You don't exactly have a seat at the table, do you? Anyone can just claim you made the whole thing up, and just like that, the conversation is over.😎

Eric Robinson81 said:Why on earth did you allow them to use electroshock therapy on you? That kind of treatment is incredibly taxing on the body.
And if a nurse was actually yelling at you like that, why didn't you file a complaint with the head nurse, the chief of medicine, or even Medicare?

Wait, why exactly is it harmful? 😢

I'm honestly just curious—why exactly is it considered harmful?😁

There are four of us now!!!!!!!!!
5!!!

Basically, Americans are always burning through money in the EU just to make sure they have decent internet access.

I totally get it! I feel like I’m building this karmic connection with my doctors. Honestly, realizing that is probably for the best for my own well-being😱

I haven't read every single post here, but I can at least give you a little glimpse into how insane it feels when you actually lose your mind.
So, it went like this...
I genuinely believed I was the only one who could save the world from total ruin.
I even thought I was Satan (though just for a very brief moment)
I thought I was a man.
I was convinced that elderly people were my primary demons.
I thought I was a spirit, and I almost died crossing the street because I was totally certain cars would just pass right through me.
I thought I was the CEO of every corporation on the planet... let me tell you, that was a hell of a feeling.
I thought Central Park was that paradise mentioned in the Bible—there’s a tree there that looked exactly like the Tree of Knowledge from the Bible. Once, my mom offered me an apple there, and suddenly I was certain she was Satan.
I was convinced I was being spied on by people from Verizon.
I thought they had somehow linked up inside my head and could hear my every single thought.
I was constantly obsessed with the idea that the love of my life would show up in Central Park, and I’d spend all my time waiting for them at the window.
I believed that every person has two doppelgängers: one bad version, and one better version you can become if you work hard enough.
I thought I had been conceived without any sin, and I used to run wild through the hospital, screaming that they weren't allowed to give me medication.
I was certain everyone at the company I worked for back then had AIDS, myself included, so they kept testing me for every possible disease imaginable... and, of course, I didn't have anything.
I thought all of my friends worked for that same company too.
I thought I had the power to heal people and perform exorcisms.
And so on... and so on...
The diagnosis they gave me was F29—unspecified psychotic disorder.

How many times have you actually had to stay in the hospital?

I remember once, at a high-security facility near Chicago, I spent two months stuck in a locked cell while everything else was wide open.

urbanwalker22, have you finally recovered now?

One outfit for everything? I honestly need a different one for every single occasion.
I used to have way more dresses, too—but goodness, they were all just for hooking up.
I’d move to Vrapče in a heartbeat if I could, but Queens has much better access and the Subway is right there.

I’m currently on Zyprexa in the mornings and taking Lamictal at night... because I hit a total breaking point. I went through this massive depressive episode once everything just let go of me—that moment when I finally realized the world keeps spinning exactly the same way, no matter how many lives I tried to "save" while working at the hospital.