Schizophrenia - General Discussion

I actually dealt with this myself until about six years ago, but I haven't had it since then.

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Taylor Campbell4 said:I'm telling you, I feel the same way—I don't know what to do when there's someone like briskgull27 in the family 😬 and they tell me they aren't going to some relative's wedding!!! To a wedding 🙂 saying they won't go 😲 😠 Oh, come on, you can't 🙂 😁 😬 😍 I wouldn't stand for that 😈 🤣

I'm joking—honestly, I have no clue how I would handle it or what I'd even do. I can only imagine, just like anyone else who hasn't walked in those shoes.

As for what you were saying about your friends and neighbors, it seems like a logical reaction to me: what good are friends like that anyway? People are unpredictable, and it's certainly not exclusive to people dealing with mental health struggles; friends bail or cause drama for all sorts of reasons.
A person can always make new friends. Often, people lose connections when they change, and your dad has changed too. It’s just a more heartbreaking case because the illness is what drove that change. I really don't know. Personally, I would try my hardest not to give up on that family member. Though, I suspect I might swing toward an extreme before I eventually find the right balance.

That situation with the neighbor you mentioned is interesting, too. I'm not sure if you guys talk openly about this illness at home or what your general stance is. In my opinion, family members should be able to discuss it completely candidly—no holding back and no unnecessary drama—just accepting it the same way we’d accept a cold or the flu.
The thing is, most people simply don't understand these conditions; that neighbor likely doesn't either, so she's probably just reacting to something she doesn't comprehend.

I'm not sure if you can find any high-quality information online—maybe specifically regarding what life is like living with someone diagnosed with this condition...

Anyway, that's just me thinking out loud; please don't take it as me trying to act like a know-it-all.

It also occurs to me that people struggling with these issues often don't get the actual attention they need from others. Things can easily slip through the cracks. Perhaps, rather than all the articles and advice found online, what would actually help more is just genuine attention—maybe that would offer more insight than anything else. If you know what I mean.
I'm wishing the best for you, your dad, and the rest of your family. Regarding your father: if it isn't tomorrow, or the day after, or next month, then hopefully in a few years. I am deeply convinced that we will see progress in how these illnesses are understood, and that recovery—in the sense of maintaining a good quality of life—is possible. But all of that happens in its own time.

Look, that neighbor is completely irrelevant—she isn't some major player in my life or anyone else's, seriously. And besides, she wasn't being rude or anything; she was staying perfectly polite. I only brought her up as an example! I don't think you really caught my drift here. I'm not out here pining for those kinds of friends—you can find plenty of people like that even when you're totally healthy, you know? People staring at you, whispering behind your back, all that stuff. Actually, if nobody is jealous of you or talking about you, maybe you're just... I don't know, boring? If I notice someone sizing me up, I'd much rather take it as a compliment than let it get to me or start spiraling into self-doubt (like, "is there something wrong with me?" or "how do I look?"). But, I'm fine—I'm healthy, I'm young, I've got my life together, and I'm doing pretty well in my career within reasonable limits. He, on the other hand, is dealing with mental illness; he's disillusioned, mostly with himself, and then with everyone else. Ever since he fell ill, he's become hyper-sensitive—which, like, I've said several times now—and the absolute worst part is that he feels humiliated. That's the key word right there. There are plenty of people who would happily sit down with him, talk, joke around, but he just shuts them out—he runs away from them. So, in this whole situation, he's the one making it impossible to build new friendships. It's not that everyone abandoned or rejected him—quite the opposite, really—it's that he's pushing *them* away. This fear of people? In his case, it's just a symptom of the illness.

And look, you’re absolutely right—people are usually so wrapped up in their own little worlds and their own endless problems that they don't even notice anyone else. I get that, I really do. But the guy... he just can't help feeling like everyone is staring at him like he’s some kind of freak show. You know what I mean? It’s easy for us to sit here and play philosopher, acting all superior and looking down on small-mindedness, stupidity, or those mindless comments people throw around. We can afford to be detached because, well, we're sane and rational. But someone who’s actually struggling mentally? They experience every single thing as a direct, personal attack.

wanderingcyclist69 said:Look, that neighbor is completely irrelevant—she isn't some major player in my life or anyone else's, seriously. And besides, she wasn't being rude or anything; she was staying perfectly polite. I only brought her up as an example! I don't think you really caught my drift here. I'm not out here pining for those kinds of friends—you can find plenty of people like that even when you're totally healthy, you know? People staring at you, whispering behind your back, all that stuff. Actually, if nobody is jealous of you or talking about you, maybe you're just... I don't know, boring? If I notice someone sizing me up, I'd much rather take it as a compliment than let it get to me or start spiraling into self-doubt (like, "is there something wrong with me?" or "how do I look?"). But, I'm fine—I'm healthy, I'm young, I've got my life together, and I'm doing pretty well in my career within reasonable limits. He, on the other hand, is dealing with mental illness; he's disillusioned, mostly with himself, and then with everyone else. Ever since he fell ill, he's become hyper-sensitive—which, like, I've said several times now—and the absolute worst part is that he feels humiliated. That's the key word right there. There are plenty of people who would happily sit down with him, talk, joke around, but he just shuts them out—he runs away from them. So, in this whole situation, he's the one making it impossible to build new friendships. It's not that everyone abandoned or rejected him—quite the opposite, really—it's that he's pushing *them* away. This fear of people? In his case, it's just a symptom of the illness.

1. After my first hospitalization, I was so consumed by shame that I barely
left the house for an entire year.
2. The shame of hiding the illness for another 7 years.
3. Now, I meet someone new and just blurt out that I have schizophrenia—maybe I'll even
downplay it, acting like I'm just mentioning a stomach ulcer or a common cold.

I honestly don't know what the next stage will be.

But let me tell you one thing: A close family friend who graduated from medical school back in 1972 once told me, "You have to work three times harder than everyone else." What do you think about that?

wanderingcyclist69 said:And look, you’re absolutely right—people are usually so wrapped up in their own little worlds and their own endless problems that they don't even notice anyone else. I get that, I really do. But the guy... he just can't help feeling like everyone is staring at him like he’s some kind of freak show. You know what I mean? It’s easy for us to sit here and play philosopher, acting all superior and looking down on small-mindedness, stupidity, or those mindless comments people throw around. We can afford to be detached because, well, we're sane and rational. But someone who’s actually struggling mentally? They experience every single thing as a direct, personal attack.

Exactly. Because once you're labeled, you're essentially considered "lesser" for the rest of your life. Period.🙂

briskgull27 said:Exactly. Because once you're labeled, you're essentially considered "lesser" for the rest of your life. Period.🙂

Less worthy compared to whom, exactly?

Jerry Green59 said:Less worthy compared to whom, exactly?

Compared to other people, though there are some shifts happening, similar to what we see within the LGBTQ+ community.

briskgull27 said:Compared to other people, though there are some shifts happening, similar to what we see within the LGBTQ+ community.

Compared to other people—from whose perspective exactly?

Jerry Green59 said:Compared to other people—from whose perspective exactly?

Well, if we're looking at it from the perspective of most people, based on how the majority is distributed along a Gauss curve.

Jerry Green59 said:Compared to other people—from whose perspective exactly?

Honestly, briskgull27 has a point. The main perspective—the one that actually matters most—is how everyone else sees things, you know? The "unlabeled" crowd. If some guy falls for a girl dealing with schizophrenia (or vice versa, obviously), his whole circle is gonna jump down his throat with those "helpful" little suggestions... like, "Hey, she's great, but maybe think twice about this?" Most people would seriously hesitate before even grabbing a quick bite at McDonald's with someone struggling with that kind of diagnosis. It’s just the way it is... damn.

Donna Campbell6 said:Honestly, briskgull27 has a point. The main perspective—the one that actually matters most—is how everyone else sees things, you know? The "unlabeled" crowd. If some guy falls for a girl dealing with schizophrenia (or vice versa, obviously), his whole circle is gonna jump down his throat with those "helpful" little suggestions... like, "Hey, she's great, but maybe think twice about this?" Most people would seriously hesitate before even grabbing a quick bite at McDonald's with someone struggling with that kind of diagnosis. It’s just the way it is... damn.

I have a friend in another city who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Even though we had some disagreements over the summer, she is much more pleasant to me than many "normal" people here in Washington, D.C. I never worry about whether a girl is ill. I only care if she treats me poorly. And in that regard, the "normal" people have actually been far worse than her. So, my advice is: ignore everyone else.

There is one catch, though: some women with schizophrenia aren't above being arrogant and demanding a perfect partner they can't actually have. They neglect their local friends and then blame all their failures on their illness. I know someone like that here in Washington, D.C. She's arrogant, haughty, and rude. Then she acts surprised when everyone avoids her.

So, I suppose if you are polite to those around you within reason, considering the illness, everything should be fine.

Maybe I didn't mention: that girl from the other city and I were actually in love. But her own mother literally forbade her from being with me.
The mother pushes every guy away, and I suspect she might even be a contributing factor to the illness, since she is pathologically attached to her daughter and won't let her go.

@Douglas Brown4, look, it’s not all about sex. You take your meds, lose some weight, change up your hair color, and things just fall into place.

I mean, people have sex in Queens too, believe it or not.
I totally get where you're coming from. There's actually this one doctor at the cerebral palsy clinic I work at, and I find myself drawn to him more than most—it's just a different kind of connection!
But I’m talking about life as a whole here. Once you hit that third hospitalization, the illness becomes a lifelong reality.
I've always had a thing for Black men, but once, when this tall Black woman started dancing right in front of me in New York City, I actually got a little spooked (and I wasn't even high).

The thing is, you make one mistake and suddenly everyone looks at you differently. You have a "record," and you realize how judgmental people can be—especially when you're dealing with schizophrenia. It's tough!
I tend to be quite an emotional person.
Maybe people with more "rational" minds handle all of this a bit easier?
Whenever someone asks me how I'm doing, I end up telling them my whole life story; I just don't know how to give a simple answer.
In my tiny little town of maybe 5,000 people, I basically only hang out with two families.
Honestly, whenever I see someone famous, my first thought is: "Check it out, a person with schizophrenia in the wild!"

Donna Campbell6 said:Honestly, briskgull27 has a point. The main perspective—the one that actually matters most—is how everyone else sees things, you know? The "unlabeled" crowd. If some guy falls for a girl dealing with schizophrenia (or vice versa, obviously), his whole circle is gonna jump down his throat with those "helpful" little suggestions... like, "Hey, she's great, but maybe think twice about this?" Most people would seriously hesitate before even grabbing a quick bite at McDonald's with someone struggling with that kind of diagnosis. It’s just the way it is... damn.

It really depends on the environment you're in.
In my view, I wonder what kind of "guys" allow their inner circle to dictate their choices like that. 😕Hebe those types of guys. 😬
There are very progressive families out there—families that don't hold onto old prejudices and raise their kids to be supportive and independent without imposing their own views.

Like I mentioned before, it ultimately comes down to education and awareness; most people simply aren't informed.

Regarding the McDonald's comment, it's the same principle. Some people are naturally more prone to fear than others—I wouldn't judge anyone for that. If someone acts out violently or discriminates because they're scared, that's unacceptable. But if someone just feels uneasy and walks away 🙂, well, you can't really blame them. (No sense in running after them 😬).

Also, I suspect briskgull27 knows she isn't entirely right here.
While it's true that how others perceive you matters for practical life reasons (especially when navigating mental health stigmas), your own self-perception is just as vital—if not more so.

All these perceptions are contagious, if you will. In real-world situations, how a person views themselves carries massive weight. If an individual doesn't carry internal prejudice or a negative self-image, others will eventually find it easier to see them through that same lens.

The key is that you have direct control over your own mindset, whereas you can only influence others indirectly—through education and spreading information.

I have a family member living with schizophrenia. He’s been battling this since 1996. I find it quite fascinating that you maintain the stance that this is strictly a biological brain disorder rather than an issue of the soul. I am absolutely convinced it is the latter. In fact, I believe one could actually prove that there is no underlying physiological brain dysfunction at all.

He has suffered immensely, though he is stable now, relying on Zyprexa and perhaps quinine or something similar. In my view, the only true path to recovery is to step away from the medication and fight this battle through sheer force of will. It is an incredibly grueling undertaking—one that might last a lifetime or even lead to death—but victory is possible. He attempted to quit his meds once before, which resulted in him being committed to a psychiatric ward after several violent outbursts. When he was eighteen, he was the life of the party, the star among his friends and the girls he dated, but as the illness took hold, people simply drifted away from him.
His intellect and core personality remain intact. During the onset of his condition, he was so manipulative that he had doctors dancing on their fingertips, leading them to issue completely incorrect diagnoses, but eventually, he just couldn't hold out...

I wish you the very best.

swiftcobra43 said:I have a family member living with schizophrenia. He’s been battling this since 1996. I find it quite fascinating that you maintain the stance that this is strictly a biological brain disorder rather than an issue of the soul. I am absolutely convinced it is the latter. In fact, I believe one could actually prove that there is no underlying physiological brain dysfunction at all.

He has suffered immensely, though he is stable now, relying on Zyprexa and perhaps quinine or something similar. In my view, the only true path to recovery is to step away from the medication and fight this battle through sheer force of will. It is an incredibly grueling undertaking—one that might last a lifetime or even lead to death—but victory is possible. He attempted to quit his meds once before, which resulted in him being committed to a psychiatric ward after several violent outbursts. When he was eighteen, he was the life of the party, the star among his friends and the girls he dated, but as the illness took hold, people simply drifted away from him.
His intellect and core personality remain intact. During the onset of his condition, he was so manipulative that he had doctors dancing on their fingertips, leading them to issue completely incorrect diagnoses, but eventually, he just couldn't hold out...

I wish you the very best.

Well, I’ve been dealing with this since 1996 too!
Here is how it works for me: if I'm feeling depressed, antidepressants help; if I'm in a manic phase, I need sleep aids. It seems like mental anguish actually manifests as physical pain.
The worst part is feeling like my very spirit leaves me when I don't take my medication, because one of the consequences of skipping doses feels like the death of my mind.

Look, whatever label "science" gives me doesn't change the reality that I’ll only truly be at peace when I pass away, nor does it explain why these medications seem to prevent me from ever finding true tranquility.

I used to be the star of the show, too, so I know how fragile that status really is.
Nowadays, I actually have a few friends who practically beg me to stop talking about schizophrenia because they just can't take it anymore.

It means so much to have those four specific people who understand that I absolutely need ten hours of sleep.
I honestly have no idea why it has to be that way.
But I will tell you, there was one time when I skipped my meds for about four months and ended up walking completely naked all the way to a suburb of Atlanta. In broad daylight! I don't think I could ever pull something like that off now. Then again, I did decide to fly out to that fancy party in Venice on June 6th, 2007, didn't I?😈
There are no rules.
Does your family member spend a lot of time on the computer?

😘

briskgull27 said:Well, I’ve been dealing with this since 1996 too!
Here is how it works for me: if I'm feeling depressed, antidepressants help; if I'm in a manic phase, I need sleep aids. It seems like mental anguish actually manifests as physical pain.
The worst part is feeling like my very spirit leaves me when I don't take my medication, because one of the consequences of skipping doses feels like the death of my mind.

Look, whatever label "science" gives me doesn't change the reality that I’ll only truly be at peace when I pass away, nor does it explain why these medications seem to prevent me from ever finding true tranquility.

I used to be the star of the show, too, so I know how fragile that status really is.
Nowadays, I actually have a few friends who practically beg me to stop talking about schizophrenia because they just can't take it anymore.

It means so much to have those four specific people who understand that I absolutely need ten hours of sleep.
I honestly have no idea why it has to be that way.
But I will tell you, there was one time when I skipped my meds for about four months and ended up walking completely naked all the way to a suburb of Atlanta. In broad daylight! I don't think I could ever pull something like that off now. Then again, I did decide to fly out to that fancy party in Venice on June 6th, 2007, didn't I?😈
There are no rules.
Does your family member spend a lot of time on the computer?

😘

How exactly does the brain die? What does that sensation feel like? How do you even function when that happens? It seems to me as though the pills provide that bridge between the soul and the body, though I couldn't say for certain...

Sometimes he laughs to himself; he used to be aggressive, but he isn't anymore—he just lacks concentration and nothing interests him. At the beginning, when this all started, it was terrifying, filled with hallucinations and a fear of everything, but later he calmed down... partially, at least. Now, he is quiet...

He also has moments where he wants to tell everyone that he is ill.
He takes Akineton too. Those are his sleep aids.

He doesn't use a computer; to him, it might as well be zero. I could perhaps suggest it to you,
maybe then he would write something. But I suspect he would either do it live or not at all (that's my guess, anyway). He spends his entire day smoking, drinking coffee, listening to music, and so on. You two could probably talk all day long. He has no one to talk to and he is bored, and surely he could understand you. I will mention it to him regardless. If I recall correctly, you are the same age—born in 1977.

Sometimes I see him suffering like that, but I simply cannot grasp it.

It is as if he is possessed by something, as if there is some spirit inside him that takes control of him from time to time.

🙂

swiftcobra43 said:How exactly does the brain die? What does that sensation feel like? How do you even function when that happens? It seems to me as though the pills provide that bridge between the soul and the body, though I couldn't say for certain...

Sometimes he laughs to himself; he used to be aggressive, but he isn't anymore—he just lacks concentration and nothing interests him. At the beginning, when this all started, it was terrifying, filled with hallucinations and a fear of everything, but later he calmed down... partially, at least. Now, he is quiet...

He also has moments where he wants to tell everyone that he is ill.
He takes Akineton too. Those are his sleep aids.

He doesn't use a computer; to him, it might as well be zero. I could perhaps suggest it to you,
maybe then he would write something. But I suspect he would either do it live or not at all (that's my guess, anyway). He spends his entire day smoking, drinking coffee, listening to music, and so on. You two could probably talk all day long. He has no one to talk to and he is bored, and surely he could understand you. I will mention it to him regardless. If I recall correctly, you are the same age—born in 1977.

Sometimes I see him suffering like that, but I simply cannot grasp it.

It is as if he is possessed by something, as if there is some spirit inside him that takes control of him from time to time.

🙂

When the brain dies, it's like the gray matter just shuts off; you become like stone.
When I'm going through it, I have no idea what happened 85% of the time, even though I act "normal" on the outside.

I agree that the body is a manifestation of everything, but I'm leaning more toward the idea that everything is equally important.

That's interesting—I was gripped by that fear at the beginning, but now I don't fear anything. I have to admit, after I wrecked my car, I fought so hard just to stay conscious.
Yesterday at the movie theater, this lady cut right in front of me after I had already ordered my popcorn and coffee—and I was the first one in line! I snapped at her: "I see you have a lovely child, but we got here first."
My husband is the one who taught me to behave like that.

Wait, what is this, the Twilight Zone? Akineton is what you take when you're on heavy medication so you don't shake or have your eyes wander uncontrollably.

I can't even begin to understand it when the suffering hits me; those physical pains are brutal!!!
Tell him it's no problem, I have a webcam.
I'm up for a full party over video chat, but I don't know about him.
Man, he should just come over to my place!!!!!!!!!!
I was born on April 14, 1978.

My mom has been diagnosed with F20.0. I went with her to her appointment today, which lasted about ten minutes. The doctor asked if she was experiencing any hallucinations, and Mom just brushed it off, saying that even if she was, she shouldn't pay them any mind, and then she tried to pivot the conversation to something else entirely... honestly, my heart just broke for her in that moment. Still, I felt a quiet sense of pride in myself for stepping up, doing my part for her, and having that honest conversation with the psychiatrist.
When things get this heavy, it really makes you wonder: what is the point of it all??😕
We also completely overlooked asking how to deal with the nighttime incontinence. It’s likely a side effect from her medication... does anyone happen to know how to manage that? I would truly appreciate any advice you might have.😘

If a friend has schizophrenia and is 40 years old, they’re still dealing with the same reality.
10 minutes.
The thing is, if you sat there talking to her for 48 hours straight, it wouldn't change a thing.
It’d be better to just take her to see Sai Baba.

What’s the point of living?
Honestly, I keep going because I’m terrified of what comes next, you know?

Looking at it through different lenses: 1) God gave me this illness and expects me to endure it.
2) The Devil gave it to me, and even if I check out, God won't give a damn about me.

Could it be that the Devil should actually be God?
Questions?

Anyway, I believe in that damn karma and I just take it on the chin.
Even if it feels totally pointless, so be it!

briskgull27 said:If a friend has schizophrenia and is 40 years old, they’re still dealing with the same reality.
10 minutes.
The thing is, if you sat there talking to her for 48 hours straight, it wouldn't change a thing.
It’d be better to just take her to see Sai Baba.

What’s the point of living?
Honestly, I keep going because I’m terrified of what comes next, you know?

Looking at it through different lenses: 1) God gave me this illness and expects me to endure it.
2) The Devil gave it to me, and even if I check out, God won't give a damn about me.

Could it be that the Devil should actually be God?
Questions?

Anyway, I believe in that damn karma and I just take it on the chin.
Even if it feels totally pointless, so be it!

So, just diapers then?🙄
By the way, we actually got lucky getting ten minutes out of that; usually, it's about three before they yell "next!"
And it's not like God handed you this illness... you don't honestly believe you had to get sick, do you? It could have gone a different way. It’s a shame it didn't, but things happen.