#1 ·
There was a thread on this sub about someone being unwilling to commit because they haven't "lived enough" yet.
I’ve always found that whole idea—and the notion that maturity comes from "living it up"—to be... well, kind of stupid, I guess.
People love to pitch it as some sort of "natural phase" of growing up.
To me, it feels more like a "normal phase" only within a pretty unhealthy framework—one where life is defined by outward appearances rather than actual living, which I suppose is just a person expressing themselves through their connections with others.
In that superficial context, what people call maturing isn't really maturity at all; it's more like just getting exhausted from chasing thrills in the outside world and retreating into a different, equally superficial dimension that feels safer or more predictable.
That’s not true maturity—true maturity would be articulating one's own creative drive through those external relationships, allowing a person to become a "virtuoso of life." They live intensely and meaningfully because they don't see the value in how things look, but in how they express their own internal principles through those bonds—which, I guess, feels like a sense of harmonic purpose.
Personally, I never went through a "wild phase," and the whole concept always seemed pretty pointless to me.
Maybe it's because I grew up in an incredibly healthy family—though maybe that’s just genetics—where every action and relationship was guided by an internal sense of purpose, not through force, but just naturally.
Even with romance, it was never about how many people I could sleep with or how much "fun" I could have just to feel alive; instead, my life—that conscious internal sense of being—always tried to express itself through the depth of my relationships.
So, I never hit that wall of exhaustion or settled into a safe routine—if anything, the creativity and meaning I find in my connections just keeps growing.
I’d say this idea of "live fast, then settle down" is basically just looking for life in all the wrong places, only to end up numb once you realize it was all for nothing.
Still, even if those people eventually find some way to express themselves, I think they miss out on a much deeper level of maturity. They tend to stabilize into this stagnant, compromised state without much actual life left in them—mostly because they don't realize that things like marriage or kids aren't "restrictions on freedom," but are actually the canvas where you express your life's purpose.
I’ve always found that whole idea—and the notion that maturity comes from "living it up"—to be... well, kind of stupid, I guess.
People love to pitch it as some sort of "natural phase" of growing up.
To me, it feels more like a "normal phase" only within a pretty unhealthy framework—one where life is defined by outward appearances rather than actual living, which I suppose is just a person expressing themselves through their connections with others.
In that superficial context, what people call maturing isn't really maturity at all; it's more like just getting exhausted from chasing thrills in the outside world and retreating into a different, equally superficial dimension that feels safer or more predictable.
That’s not true maturity—true maturity would be articulating one's own creative drive through those external relationships, allowing a person to become a "virtuoso of life." They live intensely and meaningfully because they don't see the value in how things look, but in how they express their own internal principles through those bonds—which, I guess, feels like a sense of harmonic purpose.
Personally, I never went through a "wild phase," and the whole concept always seemed pretty pointless to me.
Maybe it's because I grew up in an incredibly healthy family—though maybe that’s just genetics—where every action and relationship was guided by an internal sense of purpose, not through force, but just naturally.
Even with romance, it was never about how many people I could sleep with or how much "fun" I could have just to feel alive; instead, my life—that conscious internal sense of being—always tried to express itself through the depth of my relationships.
So, I never hit that wall of exhaustion or settled into a safe routine—if anything, the creativity and meaning I find in my connections just keeps growing.
I’d say this idea of "live fast, then settle down" is basically just looking for life in all the wrong places, only to end up numb once you realize it was all for nothing.
Still, even if those people eventually find some way to express themselves, I think they miss out on a much deeper level of maturity. They tend to stabilize into this stagnant, compromised state without much actual life left in them—mostly because they don't realize that things like marriage or kids aren't "restrictions on freedom," but are actually the canvas where you express your life's purpose.