How do I stop racing thoughts?

Anonymous VeteranOP

3.6K messages
joined May 2005

#1 · Aug 6, 2006

This has been weighing on me for years... thoughts of suicide and all that... BUT lately, it’s just constant. I try to pull myself together because I think about my family, and I know things would be a total mess for them if I left, so I back off for a bit. But then, before I know it, I’m right back in this dark hole again. Is this depression or what the hell is happening? Just now, I was looking at old photos of my dad back when he was still healthy, before everything went to hell during the war, and seeing him now... it just makes me want to end it all. I can't face thinking about any of this. What’s even left of a person after all that? Honestly, sometimes I just want to take all this rage and anger out on whatever random thing is annoying me in the moment. I don't know... if this gets me locked or banned, so be it.

And to those of you who want to say, "Go ahead and do it, see if I care"—tell me exactly how you'd suggest I go about it.

Eric Wood7 Newcomer

6 messages
joined Feb 2006

#2 · Aug 6, 2006

Just embrace the madness until those thoughts start feeling completely normal—otherwise, you’ll never truly realize how wild they actually are... honestly, that’s my best advice for you. 😘
It works like a charm for me!!! 😉 Hang in there!!! 😘 😘

Daniel Wilson5 Active Member

53 messages
joined Feb 2010

#3 · Aug 6, 2006

When an old man loses the woman he’s spent his entire life with, he feels like his own journey has reached its natural conclusion. He knows he's done. So, he passes away. And even if the loss is unimaginably brutal, there’s a sense of peace in it... he dies because he accepted that the end had arrived, embracing that finality as a form of rest.
I’ve spent my whole life waiting for the other shoe to drop, constantly bracing for the worst-case scenario in everything I do. But nothing spectacular ever actually happened. Life just... went on, ordinary as ever.
Until recently. When my first major breakdown hit. It’s finally clicking now—that catastrophic feeling I’ve been carrying around all this time wasn't just some random anxiety. It wasn't a fear of getting sick or becoming disabled. It was the terrifying realization of what it means to live a life defined by constant, paralyzing fear.
How do you quiet the madness in your head? How do you escape the fear? I don't have the answers. All I know is that you have to try absolutely everything. Except suicide!!!!!!!!!!! Why?
Because you’re already dead. Living with those thoughts and feelings is essentially a slow-motion suicide in itself. When you live like that, you're just existing in a void of darkness, pain, and suffering. There's no point in repeating the same tragedy twice; the whole point is to actually start living again.
Think about it.

Bradley Bennett9 Member

12 messages
joined Aug 2006

#4 · Aug 6, 2006

"Real heroes are forged in the fire"
It’s a total cliché, I know, but honestly? It’s true. It’s easy as hell to act like you've got it all together when everything is going your way, and that's great and all.
But once life actually hits the fan and some disaster drops on your head, that's when you see what people are actually made of.
Suicide is just an escape. Everyone has a right—and honestly, a responsibility—to protect their own life. Plus, when you take yourself out, you're basically ripping yourself away from everyone else. Like, how would you even process it if both your parents were gone? Would you just be like, "Oh well, at least they don't have any more problems now"? I highly doubt it. So, please, don't do that to anyone.

Go get some help. See a psychiatrist or something. And I'm being dead serious here.

Anonymous VeteranOP

3.6K messages
joined May 2005

#5 · Aug 6, 2006

Bradley Bennett9 said:"Character is forged in fire."
It's a cliché, but it's true. It’s easy to be happy when everything is going your way—that's the easy part.
But when life hits you hard, that's when you see what someone is actually made of.
Suicide is just running away. Everyone has both the right and the responsibility to protect their own life. Plus, when you take yourself out, you're stealing yourself from everyone else. How would you feel if both of your parents passed away? Would you say, "Good for them, at least they don't have any more problems now"? I highly doubt it. So don't do that to others.

Reach out. See a psychiatrist. And I mean it. No jokes.

People have told me this a million times... but I refuse to go because I just don't see the point. Like, why would anyone there even care? They'll just toss you straight into a psych ward and pump you full of meds...

Man, I'd probably do the same thing.

Bradley Bennett9 Member

12 messages
joined Aug 2006

#6 · Aug 6, 2006

Stana said:they’ve been telling me this a million times... but I just refuse to go because I don't see the point... who even cares about anyone there... they'll just toss you straight into a psych ward and pump you full of meds...

honestly, I might as well just end it all myself

I mean, it really all comes down to who you're dealing with. A doctor. If you get lucky, maybe you'll stumble upon someone who actually gives a damn and tries to help you instead of just doing the bare minimum.

Look, we could sit here all day listing off different types of people.
But the bottom line is this: do you actually want to climb out of this hole? Do you even want anyone to help you?

P.S. Based on your handle, I'm guessing you're a girl. Am I right?

Anonymous VeteranOP

3.6K messages
joined May 2005

#7 · Aug 6, 2006

Bradley Bennett9 said:It really all boils down to who you end up with. Your doctor. If you're lucky, you'll stumble upon someone who actually gives a damn and puts in more effort than just doing the bare minimum.

Look, we could go on listing names all day.
But here's the bottom line: do you actually want to pull yourself out of this hole? Do you even want anyone to help you?

P.S. Based on your username, I'm assuming you're a woman. Am I right?

Nah, that's just a nickname based on my last name.

Anyway, I'm going to try to make some progress for a little while. I doubt I'll be seeing a psychiatrist or anything like that, so we'll just have to see how it goes...

Bradley Bennett9 Member

12 messages
joined Aug 2006

#8 · Aug 6, 2006

Stana said:nah, it's just a nickname based on my last name

so I guess I'm gonna try a few things for a little bit, though I doubt I'll actually go see a psychiatrist or anything like that, so we'll just have to see how it goes...

Now that we actually know what you're looking for, what have you been doing up until now to try and help yourself, or have you even had anyone else trying to step in and help you out?

Anonymous VeteranOP

3.6K messages
joined May 2005

#9 · Aug 7, 2006

I wasn't even trying to do anything... and honestly, I have zero interest in seeing a psychiatrist because here in America, they’d just toss me straight into a mental asylum or something similar. I don't want any kind of medication.

Scott Wright28 Newcomer

1 message
joined Aug 2006

#10 · Aug 7, 2006

Look, if you aren't interested in meds and you refuse to face the fact that something is actually wrong, then nobody—and I mean nobody—can help you unless you decide to step up and help yourself.
The only real way out is talking to a doctor, likely a psychiatrist, who’ll probably put you on a treatment plan that’ll definitely make things better.
But here's the kicker: you don't even want to hear that.
Don't blame anyone else; if you won't seek help, then just keep struggling.
Just own the fact that there's an issue and try to fix it.
That's why people don't just throw you into a psych ward—they give you therapy instead.
You aren't some special case with these thoughts; the difference is that most people actually admit they have a problem and do something about it, while you just won't.
Fine by me, though—keep suffering.

Anonymous VeteranOP

3.6K messages
joined May 2005

#11 · Aug 7, 2006

Scott Wright28 said:Look, if you aren't interested in medication and you refuse to accept that there's an actual issue here, then nobody can step in and fix this for you unless you decide to take matters into your own hands.
The only real path forward is seeing a professional—likely a psychiatrist who can prescribe a regimen that will actually make you feel better.
But the catch is, you don't even want to hear that part.
It’s on you; if you won't seek help, you're just choosing to keep struggling.
Just own the fact that there's a problem and try to deal with it.
That's why people don't just lock folks away in institutions anymore; they provide treatment instead.
You aren't the only one dealing with these kinds of thoughts—the difference is that some people admit they have a problem and take action, while you won't.
Fine, have it your way, and keep suffering if that's what you want.

Trust me, if I didn't think I had a problem, I wouldn't have even started this thread.

Carl Wright2 Newcomer

2 messages
joined Aug 2006

#12 · Aug 7, 2006

Stana said:It’s been going on for years... thoughts of suicide and all that... BUT lately, it’s just constant. I keep thinking about it... BUT then I totally fall apart when I think about my family, because things might get pretty rough for them if I did it... so I back off for a bit, but then after a little while, here I am again, stuck in the same loop... is this depression or what? I was looking at some old photos of my dad earlier—back when he was still healthy, before that hellish war happened—and looking at him now... man, I just want to end it all because I can't deal with thinking about any of this... what is even left of a person?!?... or maybe I'll just take all that anger and rage out on some random cow that happens to be defecating near me, I don't know... if this gets me locked or banned, then fine whatever..

and to those of you who want to say "go ahead and kill yourself, see if I care"—do me a favor and write down exactly how you'd suggest doing it.

Look, so many people are suffering and feeling like there’s no point anymore... But the fact that you decided to share this with others, at least here, tells me you’re actually a fighter and you're searching for a way out. The thing about depression is that you aren't fighting an outside enemy; you're fighting yourself. You become your own worst adversary—it's your own mindset, the way you process everything and view the world around you. I'm fairly certain your life isn't actually as bleak as it feels, but since that's how you perceive it, it becomes your reality. So please, try to be a little more critical of your own thoughts—there is definitely a way out, but you probably can't break out of these mental loops entirely on your own. That's why other people exist. I imagine you might be scared to see a psychiatrist because you feel like it's "shameful," but honestly, being brave enough to seek help is much more important than dealing with the temporary stigma of seeing a doctor. It will help you, and eventually, this will just be a phase—a crisis in your life that passes. If you stay on this path, though, it's just endless misery and pain. A psychiatrist isn't going to throw you in a mental asylum; you go there for advice and support, and YOU are the one who decides whether you want therapy or medication... they can't force anything on you. Just go, maybe just out of curiosity to see what they have to say. But it does matter who you see, so do a little research first. My suggestion? For starters, try a free, anonymous crisis hotline (like the Tessa line), or just dive right in: the Mayo Clinic has great services, and there are plenty of private practices if you have the means. If you're religious, starting at a spiritual help center in New York, maybe near the waterfront...
I really wish you strength and courage. I truly believe you want to finally wake up with a smile on your face and that you'll fight for yourself!

Anonymous VeteranOP

3.6K messages
joined May 2005

#13 · Aug 7, 2006

Sometimes I feel absolutely amazing, but those moments are so fleeting—they barely last minutes or a few hours before they're gone.

Here’s what I mean:

I’m almost six months out from finishing, and there's still a massive chunk of time left before the next school year kicks off, along with all the typical stress that comes with it... yet here I am, already spiraling into total darkness as if classes were starting tomorrow. I just can't seem to unwind or actually enjoy my downtime.

feralcobra92 Active Member

74 messages
joined Aug 2006

#14 · Aug 7, 2006

Maybe it would be a lot easier for you if you just viewed everything through the lens of wonky brain chemistry, because honestly, that’s exactly what’s going on here! It isn't something to be ashamed of, it isn't a curse, and it definitely isn't some dark, heavy secret you have to hide from the world; it is quite simply just some MALIGNANT CHEMISTRY. If you look at it that way, it becomes so much easier to just head over to a doctor, get a dose of the right medicine, and start turning the tide in your favor. Even sitting down for a chat with a psychiatrist is a necessary step to get everything sorted out properly. Why wouldn't you give it a shot? You only get one life, so why on earth would you choose to spend it being miserable instead of happy? Everything really does come down to you. You have absolutely nothing to lose except for those "crazy" thoughts of yours. At the end of the day, you can always just crawl back to where you are right now if you prefer being unhappy—though I certainly wouldn't recommend that! Be a man and fight for yourself (even if you act like a total pushover 🙂). Good luck, and please let me know what you decide to do!

Anonymous VeteranOP

3.6K messages
joined May 2005

#15 · Aug 7, 2006

My nickname is Stana, but

I still need to wrap my head around everything... if deciding to go see a doctor were actually easy, I would have been there already...

Olivia Carter25 Member

37 messages
joined Oct 2005

#16 · Aug 7, 2006

Stana said:they've told me this a million times... but I refuse to go because I don't see the point... who even cares over there... they'll just toss you straight into a psych ward and pump you full of meds...

I'd probably kill myself too

Greeting, Stana. Have you considered seeing someone in private practice? There are actually some really solid psychotherapists out there who won't immediately push pills or lock you up, honestly... The only catch is they aren't exactly cheap, but if you can swing it, it's worth every penny.

Anonymous VeteranOP

3.6K messages
joined May 2005

#17 · Aug 7, 2006

I don't even know, honestly... it's all happening way too fast. Just yesterday, I wouldn't have even considered seeing a doctor, and now I'm expected to decide whether to go private or stick with my insurance provider? Give me a second... I need to get my head straight first.

James Brown8 Member

12 messages
joined Jul 2006

#18 · Aug 7, 2006

Hey Tessa,
I’m not saying people are giving you bad advice just because everyone keeps telling you to go see a psychiatrist like you’ve got some massive mental breakdown on your hands, but honestly? I think you just bit into the wrong side of the apple—the one where the bad stuff is way more obvious than the good. But even so, that puts you a step ahead of the crowd, you know? Most people are still stuck in this childishly naive loop, chasing after "happiness" and instant gratification like it actually exists. Suffering is just a state of being, and states change. Nobody gets through life without hitting both highs and lows, so you might as well just accept where you’re at right now. That’s step one. After that, I gotta ask—what are your plans for the holidays? Probably nothing. Just like most people struggling to find their footing. You really have to, and I mean *really* have to, find something you actually give a damn about if you want to see any real progress and build some actual grit. But look, there are no shortcuts. Whatever path you pick is going to be your version of success, even if it turns out to be a bumpy, miserable road. Just hang in there... and don't forget that most of the time, happiness is nothing more than a total illusion...

Anonymous VeteranOP

3.6K messages
joined May 2005

#19 · Aug 7, 2006

athma said:Hey Stan,
I’m not saying people are giving you bad advice just because they keep pointing you toward a psychiatrist like you're dealing with some massive disorder, but I honestly think you've just tasted the fruit from the tree of knowledge and realized that the dark side of things is way more obvious than the light. Even so, that alone puts you a step ahead of everyone else who's still stuck in a childishly naive hope for happiness or chasing cheap thrills. Suffering is just a state of being, and states are temporary. Nobody gets through life without experiencing both sides of the coin, so it's probably best to just accept where you are right now. That’s the first move. Once you do that, I have to ask—what are your plans for the holidays? Probably nothing at all. It's the same story for so many people struggling. You really have to, and I mean *really* have to, find something you actually care about if you want to see any progress and build some character. But look, there are no shortcuts; whatever path you pick is going to be your own version of fulfillment, even if it turns out to be a rough, uphill climb. Just hang in there... and don't forget that "happiness" is usually just an illusion anyway...

Exactly... every day feels like a loop. Just TV and my computer. Honestly, being online helps, but MOST people keep telling me I need to get out more... it's just boring.

Carl Wright2 Newcomer

2 messages
joined Aug 2006

#20 · Aug 7, 2006

There’s a huge difference between just feeling deep pain and actually dwelling on suicide—and honestly, you shouldn't gamble with those kinds of thoughts or try to white-knuckle it on your own. I mean, when things get that dark, your own strength can feel pretty questionable, right? I think the whole point of therapy is to help you rebuild that inner strength by creating a safe space where you can actually trust someone enough to share what you're going through. Stana, people reach out for advice even over the smallest things, so maybe don't wait too long to make a decision about getting some help. Best wishes,

How do I stop racing thoughts?

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