Everything you need for a Midwest wedding

I know this family business run by James out in Ivanhoe. They rent out horses and carriages—they even had a booth at that big wedding expo in Indianapolis.

Thanks so much for the help! I was wondering if they happen to have a website or somewhere online where I could actually check out some photos to see what these carriages look like...

I'm not really sure. I might be able to dig up their number, though. Their son just got married a few months back, and since we handled his wedding invitations, I might be able to track down his contact info somewhere.

Hey, does anyone have the scoop on what the catering menus actually cost over in Stanley's neck of the woods? Like, what are we looking at for a place like Durant's restaurant? And what’s the deal with the spread at the White Palace? I haven't heard much about them, honestly...
I really need to get out there and start dropping down some deposits for the venue soon, so I figured I'd better ask around first... 🙄

Patrick Morris said:Hey, does anyone have the scoop on what the catering menus actually cost over in Stanley's neck of the woods? Like, what are we looking at for a place like Durant's restaurant? And what’s the deal with the spread at the White Palace? I haven't heard much about them, honestly...
I really need to get out there and start dropping down some deposits for the venue soon, so I figured I'd better ask around first... 🙄

Yo, I just DM'ed you everything I know.
What date are we talking?

fadedfalcon8 said:Yo, I just DM'ed you everything I know.
What date are we talking?

The date depends entirely on whether the hall is free, which sucks... I was thinking August or September 2008. And honestly, I’m aiming for a Saturday since I’ve got a ton of guests coming in from out of town. Is it too late to even make a reservation at this point???

Joshua Brown2 said:I'm not really sure. I might be able to dig up their number, though. Their son just got married a few months back, and since we handled his wedding invitations, I might be able to track down his contact info somewhere.

That would be amazing, if you could just shoot me that number in a private message whenever you track it down. Thanks so much!🙂

crimsonorca11 said:Hey guys, I'm on the hunt for a cool cafe or a little restaurant in Indianapolis where I can rent out the space for an informal post-wedding bash for some friends. My main thing? I really want somewhere with a patio, a backyard, or maybe even a little lawn area. I’d love to keep the whole vibe outdoors, but obviously, if it starts pouring, I need a solid indoor backup plan. If anyone has any leads, pleeeeease🙂 let me know. Seriously, throw any ideas my way. No huge rush since the wedding isn't until June 2008.

Hey, I actually wanted to host a reception back then too, but I'm only just starting my preparations now...

Anyway, I was thinking I might suggest "Maple" down in the lower part of town. They have this large covered terrace, and if you want someone to play music and need enough room for about 100 people to dance, they can handle it without any issues. There's parking available, it's right by the river (near the old tannery), and I guess the food is pretty excellent...

Help me out here, if you don't mind... I really don't want a traditional wedding, but I'm honestly terrified of how my family and friends might react... I'd love to completely skip that whole thing where they come to pick up the bride; I'd much rather guests just arrive at the church where the parents are already waiting, and then I finally make my entrance. I also have zero interest in tossing a bouquet or a garter, and I definitely don't want some wedding band blasting folk music all night. Instead, I’d probably put together a playlist of romantic ballads for a DJ, or maybe if I can find a jazz ensemble, I'll just let them do their thing. As for those local folk musicians, I'd probably have them play during the second dinner service or something... and I think I could find a graceful way to wrap everything up around 2 AM, maybe with everyone outdoors. To be honest, I've never actually been to a wedding like this back in the Midwest... around here, it seems like the goal is just to cram as many people as possible into a hall until it smells like sweat, everyone's getting hammered, and loud, tacky music is blaring. It feels tragic because it looks like everyone is having a blast, which makes me worry that my wedding will feel like a funeral by comparison...
Please... let me know what you think... or better yet, if anyone has actually done something like this before...

Gary Harris12 said:Help me out here, if you don't mind... I really don't want a traditional wedding, but I'm honestly terrified of how my family and friends might react... I'd love to completely skip that whole thing where they come to pick up the bride; I'd much rather guests just arrive at the church where the parents are already waiting, and then I finally make my entrance. I also have zero interest in tossing a bouquet or a garter, and I definitely don't want some wedding band blasting folk music all night. Instead, I’d probably put together a playlist of romantic ballads for a DJ, or maybe if I can find a jazz ensemble, I'll just let them do their thing. As for those local folk musicians, I'd probably have them play during the second dinner service or something... and I think I could find a graceful way to wrap everything up around 2 AM, maybe with everyone outdoors. To be honest, I've never actually been to a wedding like this back in the Midwest... around here, it seems like the goal is just to cram as many people as possible into a hall until it smells like sweat, everyone's getting hammered, and loud, tacky music is blaring. It feels tragic because it looks like everyone is having a blast, which makes me worry that my wedding will feel like a funeral by comparison...
Please... let me know what you think... or better yet, if anyone has actually done something like this before...

Well, I actually had a wedding just like that, and I'm originally from Belleville. The only difference was we didn't do it outdoors, we held it at the Indianapolis Marriott, but people still came to the house to pick me up since that part didn't bother us. Everything else was exactly the way you described it!

If you have any other questions, just ask! 😘

Arthur Ramirez4, please, tell me about the music you guys had playing... what was on the setlist? I’m curious how the older crowd reacted to anything non-traditional versus how the younger guests handled it. Honestly, at the start, I didn't even want a wedding dress, which was the one thing his parents and mine actually agreed on—they basically formed a coalition against me. They’re insisting I wear my hair up in some sort of bun or whatever, but I think I might just spite them all; I’ll let my hair down right before the ceremony and then maybe just shave it all off. Nobody seems to care for my idea of using dried flowers, either. And don't even get me started on the processional... I haven't figured out how to break the news to everyone without causing a total meltdown. Just imagine, my mother-in-law is dead set on us marrying on Easter Monday because that's how the last three or four generations did it. I told her quite bluntly that it wasn't my fault the previous women in the family happened to get pregnant and waited until after Lent to wed, and I almost took a slap for my honesty. I want something fresh, but they act like they're going to force me into some hideous vintage gown from a thrift store.

Look, my husband and I also wanted a small wedding, and honestly, we were lucky enough that nobody tried to step in and dictate our plans. Neither his family nor mine pushed us around, though my side ended up footing more than half the bill.

We had about 45 people there in total, including us. I went with a courthouse ceremony because that’s what I wanted, and honestly, if you don't feel like doing the big church thing, who are all those other people to tell you how or when you should get married?

I just want to say this right off the bat: you and your partner need to sit down and agree on everything yourselves first, then present a united front to everyone else. Because if you haven't reached an agreement and you aren't on the same page, you're just inviting drama—problems might happen regardless, but at least if you're aligned, you have each other. Take it from me, I learned that the hard way.

We just did dinner, and for music, we put together a custom playlist on a CD with a mix of light pop hits and some classic American country tracks to keep his side happy! We didn't play any loud, tacky country songs. I didn't even bother with the bouquet toss; instead, I just handed my bouquet directly to my maid of honor in front of everyone. I wore a garter, too, but my husband waited until we were behind closed doors to take it off, rather than doing it in front of the crowd. I had a few other little surprises planned throughout the night, along with a guest book, and everyone was genuinely surprised—in a good way, of course. Both the older folks and the younger crowd loved it. And yeah, the whole thing lasted until about 2:00 AM. Once the guests headed home, we stayed back at the suite for a bit with our wedding party to soak it all in before finally heading to 😍 and getting some sleep! 👍 👍 👍

My partner and I feel pretty certain about what we want... honestly, most of this is my vision, but he’s totally on board. Our only real worry is that our guests might find the whole thing a bit dull. You know how it is—they'll probably just want to go wild and keep the drinks flowing... though, since our parents are footing the entire bill, I suppose I’m a little worried they might try to pull rank or set some conditions...

And another thing... you had such a traditional wedding than what I’m aiming for, with only about 45 people. We’re looking at a crowd of around 300, and even hiring a bluegrass band was a compromise on our part... I probably wouldn't have even gone that route if it weren't for the pressure...

Veronica, thanks for the tip. I actually grabbed lunch at Maple yesterday and the vibe there is honestly killer once they open up the patio!!

I totally get the struggle, because I’ve been losing my mind trying to figure out how to keep everyone happy.

I’m 100% with Arthur Ramirez4 on this—the absolute first thing you two need to do is get on the same page. Looks like you guys already have that handled. So then comes the real headache: dealing with family demands. You two have to fight this together if you have a specific vision for the big day. My parents are great (they aren't pushing anything), but my mother-in-law is already throwing out a million half-baked ideas, and the extended family? They're the ones really breathing down our necks. We finally agreed to do the wedding ceremony and the party on Saturday with just our inner circle—maybe 50 people or so. Then, the next day, he's hosting a big lunch for his side of the family. Am I thrilled about it? Not exactly. But at least this way, we actually get what we want on Saturday.

Hey, Veronica.
We had a wedding out in the Midwest about four weeks ago. Nothing was traditional about it, and honestly, I don't know why you're stressing over that. Our wedding was pure, unadulterated chaos, and we walked away with nothing but love from everyone there.

crimsonorca11 said:Veronica, thanks for the tip. I actually grabbed lunch at Maple yesterday and the vibe there is honestly killer once they open up the patio!!

I totally get the struggle, because I’ve been losing my mind trying to figure out how to keep everyone happy.

I’m 100% with Arthur Ramirez4 on this—the absolute first thing you two need to do is get on the same page. Looks like you guys already have that handled. So then comes the real headache: dealing with family demands. You two have to fight this together if you have a specific vision for the big day. My parents are great (they aren't pushing anything), but my mother-in-law is already throwing out a million half-baked ideas, and the extended family? They're the ones really breathing down our necks. We finally agreed to do the wedding ceremony and the party on Saturday with just our inner circle—maybe 50 people or so. Then, the next day, he's hosting a big lunch for his side of the family. Am I thrilled about it? Not exactly. But at least this way, we actually get what we want on Saturday.

I swung by a spot out in Bavaria a few days ago, near the Treasury estate (you pass Bilje and Kopachev before heading toward Tikves and Golden Hill). It’s lovely—really quiet and tucked away, with both a covered patio and indoor seating. It is about 15 miles outside the city, though I did see a guy biking in from town that same day. If you don't mind the drive, I think it's a solid choice.

Ladies, you never know! You might just get hit with a total curveball when some unconventional wedding party shows up at your door.

Gary Harris12 said:Help me out here, if you don't mind... I really don't want a traditional wedding, but I'm honestly terrified of how my family and friends might react... I'd love to completely skip that whole thing where they come to pick up the bride; I'd much rather guests just arrive at the church where the parents are already waiting, and then I finally make my entrance. I also have zero interest in tossing a bouquet or a garter, and I definitely don't want some wedding band blasting folk music all night. Instead, I’d probably put together a playlist of romantic ballads for a DJ, or maybe if I can find a jazz ensemble, I'll just let them do their thing. As for those local folk musicians, I'd probably have them play during the second dinner service or something... and I think I could find a graceful way to wrap everything up around 2 AM, maybe with everyone outdoors. To be honest, I've never actually been to a wedding like this back in the Midwest... around here, it seems like the goal is just to cram as many people as possible into a hall until it smells like sweat, everyone's getting hammered, and loud, tacky music is blaring. It feels tragic because it looks like everyone is having a blast, which makes me worry that my wedding will feel like a funeral by comparison...
Please... let me know what you think... or better yet, if anyone has actually done something like this before...

Look, I'm having the exact kind of wedding you're describing... though I did make a few compromises, yeah...
We ended up with 80 guests. Even though that sounds like a lot to some, I'm telling you—and I know typical Midwestern weddings have at least 300 people, but I couldn't see myself doing that—these were all people I truly care about. No distant cousins I haven't seen in twenty years. It was a small circle. We aren't following the old traditions. I live with my partner, so it would be fake as hell to have him come "pick me up." For practical reasons, though, I'm getting ready at my mom's since her place is bigger, and he'll take our apartment. He’ll just pick me up in the car with my parents—no big parade. I'm going to hang out with my bridesmaids beforehand to relax and grab a drink, then we head to the venue. Everyone will be waiting at the church, we'll marry, and then straight to the restaurant. We have a DJ and gave them a specific list; we'll have some live music too, but we're leaning towards rock and 80s pop. Stuff bands don't usually play, but I know people will dance to it (we made sure not to pick songs that only *we* liked, haha). I'm not planning to end at 2 AM just because; we'll stay as long as we can because I love dancing and want to soak it all up. I am tossing the bouquet, though. That's just fun—getting rid of it while there are eager candidates ready to catch it. That's the one tradition I'm keeping. I wanted a smaller guest list because I actually want to spend quality time with everyone. Like my best man said: You should have the wedding *you* want, period. He's 100% right. Though, honestly... you really have to know what you're doing. In the Midwest, it's considered pretty weird to have a small wedding, and you'll definitely hear some gossip. People just don't get that you have a tight-knit circle and don't want to invite every single person on your parents' contact list...
I love big weddings too, and I totally respect people who want them. If a couple has 500 close friends and family and they're loving every second of it, that's beautiful. But I've seen weddings planned by parents where the bride and groom look like miserable little wet birds, sitting there not even knowing half the people in the room 👎. I hate forced vibes from any side...

Casey Robinson87 said:I swung by a spot out in Bavaria a few days ago, near the Treasury estate (you pass Bilje and Kopachev before heading toward Tikves and Golden Hill). It’s lovely—really quiet and tucked away, with both a covered patio and indoor seating. It is about 15 miles outside the city, though I did see a guy biking in from town that same day. If you don't mind the drive, I think it's a solid choice.

We actually hit up Maple after a 25 miles long bike ride through Bavaria. I got some footage of that Treasury restaurant. Seriously, the nature there is stunning. Such a shame they haven't renovated the manor or the hunting lodge yet. It's pretty cool that there's even a little chapel nearby. My only issue? The mosquitoes were absolute killers. I'll probably just hand out 😬 bug spray as party favors to the guests!! Anyway, thanks for the tip. Any and all ideas are welcome since we're still totally spinning our wheels trying to figure out what works best for us.