Brandon Lopez6 said:So, what kind of reactions are we even supposed to be feeling?? 😕
(Honestly, I'm lost here... since this part is bolded... it feels the same to me.. I just assumed it was supposed to feel like this 🤷)
I have absolutely no clue—people claim they feel better, stronger, more upbeat, mentally tougher, more satisfied... that they transition from a state of depression into a constant state of good mood (that’s a totally layman's description, obviously). In the last 16 years since I've been treating my depression, I've tried probably every antidepressant out there, except for lithium... And nothing. Zip. Zero. It's like some young kid obsessively counting every single day to make sure I take my pills at the exact same time, stressing myself out for weeks, for months... and NOTHING!
The only real reaction I ever got from antidepressants was after taking Citalon for a month and a half, when I ended up in the emergency psych ward at Mount Sinai. I was clutching a chair for dear life, begging them to just let me end it all because I couldn't take it anymore. It took an hour of arguing just to convince them I wasn't going to cut myself or jump off a 16th-story balcony before they finally agreed to outpatient treatment and handed me seven different kinds of pills big enough to kill a herd of elephants.
Mind you, I actually know what triggers my deep depressive episodes... they show up every 6, 12, or 18 months... they last for a while... they slowly fade... maybe simply no antidepressant can patch up something that is so deeply and violently torn apart.
But every time I read some crappy version of Cosmopolitan claiming "Prozac is a global miracle," I just want to scream.