Dealing with the teenage years is a nightmare

Look, I’m not some old-school helicopter parent or a total tyrant who controls every move he makes. Far from it. We’ve always been tight, and we can talk about pretty much anything without it being a thing.
But today was a total shocker. I’ve seriously never seen him throw such a massive tantrum before.
If it's even close to 9:00 PM, he's supposed to be home by midnight, and he just got a blunt, firm "no" along with an explanation of why.
Anyway, the kid basically turned into a different person overnight.
He told his dad that all his buddies at school are already hooking up and getting handsy with girls, which—if you ask me—feels way too early.
I don't see any point in him wandering around town until midnight; when I asked where he’d actually be with his friends, he just gave me a "don't know."
As for his clothes, fine, whatever, let him dress how he wants—but I’d rather tell him if something looks off than let him walk out looking like a mess.
My husband is just taking the whole thing in stride, which honestly makes me wonder how he's gonna handle it when our daughter hits those years. 😁

redseal23 said:Look, I’m not some old-school helicopter parent or a total tyrant who controls every move he makes. Far from it. We’ve always been tight, and we can talk about pretty much anything without it being a thing.
But today was a total shocker. I’ve seriously never seen him throw such a massive tantrum before.
If it's even close to 9:00 PM, he's supposed to be home by midnight, and he just got a blunt, firm "no" along with an explanation of why.
Anyway, the kid basically turned into a different person overnight.
He told his dad that all his buddies at school are already hooking up and getting handsy with girls, which—if you ask me—feels way too early.
I don't see any point in him wandering around town until midnight; when I asked where he’d actually be with his friends, he just gave me a "don't know."
As for his clothes, fine, whatever, let him dress how he wants—but I’d rather tell him if something looks off than let him walk out looking like a mess.
My husband is just taking the whole thing in stride, which honestly makes me wonder how he's gonna handle it when our daughter hits those years. 😁

Some probably move slow, others just dive right in. Who knows? 😁
Quincy:

Dad was telling me that his buddies from back in the day were already making out and getting handsy with girls. Honestly? Feels like things are moving way too fast these days, don't you think?

Man, his peers... they’re always making stuff up about who did what, just like usual. Don't you hate that?
Part 2 — honestly, what's wrong with a little bit of making out and getting handsy?
Quincy:

What's even the point of wandering around town until midnight if he can't even tell me where he’s hanging out with his crew? Like, "I don't know"? Seriously?

I don't see why it should be outside either... wandering around downtown until late isn't a big deal, but staying out on the pier until 10 or 11? Should be fine.
Quincy:

If he wants to talk about fixing things, fine by me. But honestly? I'd rather just tell him his look is off than let him walk out the door like that.

You didn't tell him, you totally played him, if I remember right. And honestly, that comment about how he looks? It probably didn't even register. Maybe try being a bit more subtle next time? Just a gentle suggestion, you know? If he takes it and dials it back, great. If not, oh well.
Quincy:

My husband didn't even blink at any of it. It makes me wonder, though—is he really going to be that chill once our little girl is actually here? 😁

😂 Man, I think things are gonna get at least ten times worse than they are right now. A little girl out in the cold, barely dressed... man. We'll all pull through, though. Everyone will. 😉

I'm well over 30, so I honestly felt like screaming when I read that post about rubbing your hair with a towel. 🤣
As for that 9 PM cutoff... I don't know. In my neighborhood here in the States, kids who are 6 or 7 are usually out playing until 10 during the summer.
I think you might be exaggerating a little.

Give the kid a break. Let them grow their hair out and wear whatever they want. If they end up looking ridiculous, they've got friends to tell them. Besides, looking a little goofy is basically a rite of passage in middle school—it’s just what they do, even if we don't quite get it.

Maybe I sounded harsh, but I really wasn't. 😍😁
Look, I don't care if he hangs out outside the apartment for a bit longer—whatever. I used to go for runs around the neighborhood in the summer too, no big deal. But this guy wanted to be out until midnight wandering around town with his buddies? Yeah, absolutely not. That's where I draw the line.

You guys are totally nitpicking about the hair and the towel 🤣
I was just trying to help my kid get all that heavy-duty gel out. It looked like some cheap version of something you'd find in an Alexander soap commercial or something. Plus, he’s got hair down past his chin, so everything was just literally dripping everywhere. 😲

Now the roses are blooming again 😍
He forgave me for not giving him anything ; his words 😁

redseal23 said:Maybe I sounded harsh, but I really wasn't. 😍😁
Look, I don't care if he hangs out outside the apartment for a bit longer—whatever. I used to go for runs around the neighborhood in the summer too, no big deal. But this guy wanted to be out until midnight wandering around town with his buddies? Yeah, absolutely not. That's where I draw the line.

You guys are totally nitpicking about the hair and the towel 🤣
I was just trying to help my kid get all that heavy-duty gel out. It looked like some cheap version of something you'd find in an Alexander soap commercial or something. Plus, he’s got hair down past his chin, so everything was just literally dripping everywhere. 😲

Now the roses are blooming again 😍
He forgave me for not giving him anything ; his words 😁

Look, kids go through a phase where they need to burn through about five tons of hair gel between ages twelve and fourteen. He'll grow out of it eventually, don't sweat it.
😛

redseal23 said:Maybe I sounded harsh, but I really wasn't. 😍😁
Look, I don't care if he hangs out outside the apartment for a bit longer—whatever. I used to go for runs around the neighborhood in the summer too, no big deal. But this guy wanted to be out until midnight wandering around town with his buddies? Yeah, absolutely not. That's where I draw the line.

You guys are totally nitpicking about the hair and the towel 🤣
I was just trying to help my kid get all that heavy-duty gel out. It looked like some cheap version of something you'd find in an Alexander soap commercial or something. Plus, he’s got hair down past his chin, so everything was just literally dripping everywhere. 😲

Now the roses are blooming again 😍
He forgave me for not giving him anything ; his words 😁

So you were just trying to be helpful, and now he’s acting like you’re actually attacking him? 😁

Do you know his group of friends, and is it true they're hanging out until midnight every night?
If you know them, and if that's really what's happening, maybe just let him stay out until, I don't know, 10:30 PM.

And just let him have his hair. It belongs to him. It can be greasy, purple, caked in gel, or covered in glitter for all I care, but it's his. He isn't your property, no matter how hard that realization hits for us moms.

My son is fifteen and a half now. He just wrapped up his freshman year of high school. We live right in the heart of the city, so he’s got access to the late-night bus lines until about midnight. If he wants to hang out a bit longer, that’s fine by me, provided he gives me a ring so I can come pick him up.
Back when he was in eighth grade, his curfew was closer to 10:30 PM.
Last summer, we even let him stay out until 11:00 PM, so... yeah.
I never really sweat the small stuff—whether it’s thirty minutes more or less—as long as the transportation situation is sorted out.
It’s common sense, really. A minor shouldn't be wandering the streets alone at night before 4:00 PM anyway; besides, local ordinances wouldn't allow it.
Then you have different scenarios, like if he were just hanging out on the front porch in our neighborhood or something similar.

Regarding the whole hair, gel, and towel situation—I totally get where you're coming from. In my book, it sounds like the towel was just overkill. Honestly, a few kind words and some genuine encouragement would have gone much further than all that gear.

When it comes to young guys—boys, really—there are stages where they start pulling away from physical contact. They might scale things back to a level that feels awkward to us, but it’s perfectly normal. It's tied to them discovering their own sexuality, and I truly believe it's vital to respect whatever boundaries they decide to set for themselves.

It honestly blows my mind reading about some 12-year-old kid demanding to stay out late... like, give me a break.
I don't even get why people are debating this—it shouldn't even be a conversation. Then we act all shocked when the news starts running headlines about juvenile delinquency and kids getting into trouble out in the streets.
If it's 11:00 PM, that kid should be tucked into bed, not wandering around outside.

Hey everyone,
we’re dealing with the teenage years here. Does anyone know how long it takes for a drug test to come back clean?
I suspect he tried some marijuana this summer—nothing major, but I want to make sure he understands that testing is a real thing. He needs to ditch the experimentation if he actually wants to make it as an athlete... honestly, it's just common sense.

From what I remember reading back in the day, if you're looking at a urine test, things tend to clear out pretty quickly—we're talking just a few days, most likely. But when it comes to hair testing, those traces can hang around for a much longer stretch, maybe a month or even two depending on how you look at it. It’s always a good idea to do a little bit of your own digging online to be certain, though; I know I certainly spent quite a while scouring the web for info on this stuff a long time ago.

Does anyone know where I can find some kind of vaccine against teenage rage?
Mine doesn't bite, per se...🙂🙂But then again, neither do I when he's around...

Alex Walker8 said:Does anyone know where I can find some kind of vaccine against teenage rage?
Mine doesn't bite, per se...🙂🙂But then again, neither do I when he's around...

If you find anything, please let me know
otherwise, I might have to start biting back 🙂 🙂 🙂

So, I’m 18 now, and it finally feels like I’ve stepped out of the fog of puberty—or, well, almost entirely...

To give you some context, things were pretty dark for me from about the middle of eighth grade through, uh, the start of my junior year of high school. I was a total hermit; never went out, couldn't stand the crowd at school, and honestly, my head was a mess. Depression hit hard—just constant, heavy thoughts about suicide and this overwhelming feeling of just... not wanting to be here. It was rough.

Then, right as I was hitting senior year, something just clicked. I had this moment where I looked at myself and thought, "What the hell was I doing? Am I actually insane? How much life have I just wasted sitting in my room?"

It sounds dramatic, but one afternoon, I just woke up as a completely different person. My friends actually started noticing the shift within a few days and kept asking what happened. That phase didn't last long, though—since then, I've been living a pretty great life.😁

Jack Jones10 said:My son is fifteen and a half now. He just wrapped up his freshman year of high school. We live right in the heart of the city, so he’s got access to the late-night bus lines until about midnight. If he wants to hang out a bit longer, that’s fine by me, provided he gives me a ring so I can come pick him up.
Back when he was in eighth grade, his curfew was closer to 10:30 PM.
Last summer, we even let him stay out until 11:00 PM, so... yeah.
I never really sweat the small stuff—whether it’s thirty minutes more or less—as long as the transportation situation is sorted out.
It’s common sense, really. A minor shouldn't be wandering the streets alone at night before 4:00 PM anyway; besides, local ordinances wouldn't allow it.
Then you have different scenarios, like if he were just hanging out on the front porch in our neighborhood or something similar.

So you're basically saying the law forbids it and there's nothing better to do outside at night, yet people stay out until midnight or later even if they aren't 16 yet... right?😕🤷

I’m genuinely curious, at what age did your kids actually hit puberty?
Our son went through it incredibly early, right around sixth and seventh grade. It was manageable enough, I suppose—just a constant, unpredictable cycle of him bursting into tears one minute and laughing the next. It was quite a rollercoaster.
Now, we’re just waiting on our nine-year-old daughter. I’ve noticed she’s started becoming a bit more self-conscious about her appearance lately, though I’m not quite ready to chalk that up to puberty just yet.

Charles Murphy6 said:I’m genuinely curious, at what age did your kids actually hit puberty?
Our son went through it incredibly early, right around sixth and seventh grade. It was manageable enough, I suppose—just a constant, unpredictable cycle of him bursting into tears one minute and laughing the next. It was quite a rollercoaster.
Now, we’re just waiting on our nine-year-old daughter. I’ve noticed she’s started becoming a bit more self-conscious about her appearance lately, though I’m not quite ready to chalk that up to puberty just yet.

As for me, my own puberty hit right during that awkward transition from middle school to high school. By the time I was halfway through freshman year, I was pretty much over the worst of it—could say I was almost entirely "out" of that phase by 10th grade.

My sister is 11 now, and if I remember correctly, she was already showing the first signs a couple of years ago...

Rachel Anderson36 said:As for me, my own puberty hit right during that awkward transition from middle school to high school. By the time I was halfway through freshman year, I was pretty much over the worst of it—could say I was almost entirely "out" of that phase by 10th grade.

My sister is 11 now, and if I remember correctly, she was already showing the first signs a couple of years ago...

Here’s hoping our youth can offer some guidance🙂
What were those initial red flags you noticed?
I have this nagging feeling that navigating puberty with boys is just easier at least based on my experience, because the neighbors upstairs have a teenage daughter and it is an absolute nightmare of constant screaming, doors slamming, and endless crying. We’ve all been there together as decent neighbors, dealing with the fallout😁

Charles Murphy6 said:Here’s hoping our youth can offer some guidance🙂
What were those initial red flags you noticed?
I have this nagging feeling that navigating puberty with boys is just easier at least based on my experience, because the neighbors upstairs have a teenage daughter and it is an absolute nightmare of constant screaming, doors slamming, and endless crying. We’ve all been there together as decent neighbors, dealing with the fallout😁

😂
Don't let it get you down too much, 🙂
It’s arguably "easier" because parents of loud boys get used to the shouting and commotion, while girls are supposedly quieter and more well-behaved
So it's no surprise when those little princesses suddenly turn into tiny witches once they hit those hormonal shifts 😱