Energy Vampires: How to deal with them?

restlessmarlin6 said:Total disaster.
The truth is, leeches tend to target people who are vulnerable in certain ways—though I’m mostly talking about how they manage their own energy. That doesn't mean those people are weak across the board.

Personally, I think even the toughest people have their blind spots. In situations like this, that weakness is usually just being too sympathetic. 😈

restlessmarlin6 said:Charlie, the issue isn't that I brought up the peak; it's entirely about how you chose to interpret it. Seriously... 😁 😉

You’d be better off sticking to those cliché, pseudo-spiritual platitudes.
It wasn't a matter of me "interpreting" a "peak," but rather addressing the context 😉 😁 .
You picked an interesting word, but I’ve analyzed it even more deeply—looking back at everything we've discussed, I see 😬

Go ahead and tell me I'm being overly philosophical, but I firmly believe that once you hit the "peak," a valley inevitably follows: we receive energy specifically so that we might expend it on something meaningful.

Now, deciding which valley to descend into requires just as much skill and precision as choosing which summit to climb in the first place.

restlessmarlin6 said:Jack Harris3, obviously, at least for a moment. It’s actually being used right now 😁 The only crappy thing is that you have to be totally burnt out before you can finally tell someone to back off. But still, the whole "fuck off" technique doesn't exactly bring your energy or drive back. Sadly...

Look, I said it doesn't bring it back, it preserves it. 😁
You say "fuck off" before the leech bites, not when it's already let go because there's nothing left to suck, and you're just picking it up off the floor with your last bit of strength... 😁

Where on earth did you get this nonsense that you need to be exhausted just to shut someone down? Or that you need arguments?
What kind of argument do you need to not do something (or to not let someone make you do it) that you don't want to do? An argument for your God-given right? Someone taught you wrong... 😁
"I don't care!", "You're exhausting me, sorry!", "Go bother someone else!"—those are plenty of solid arguments if you really feel the need to justify it.
But do you actually have the guts to say them? 😛

I'm guessing not, correct me if I'm wrong...

Just like so many other people who play the victim for some and complain to others.
Leeches never bite where they aren't allowed to.
And since YOU are the one letting them in, and YOU are the one deciding how people treat you, how much they exploit you, etc.—stop sulking and playing the martyr. Either let them do what they want, or stop them if you don't.
As simple as that. 😉 🙂

restlessmarlin6 said:Why do they show up right when you finally feel like you've got enough grit to take on the whole damn world—including yourself? Just when you actually start believing in what you can do?
Why does it always happen when you're feeling fired up?

What is it about people that makes them want to drain you, just to crush you... figuratively and literally?
Why do they leech off your strength just to boost their own?

Sometimes we're all just wolves... unfortunately.

And half the time, we don't even realize how hard we're hitting the person we're exhausting.

Anyone know any ways to recharge after dealing with this kind of "leeching" I've been going through lately? Meditation maybe? I could really use it because I feel myself slipping again. Thanks.

why do they do it?

is it on purpose?

conscious or subconscious, doesn't matter...

energy is just flow, you can't really "strengthen" it, you just gotta refill the tank when it hits empty...

everyone finds their own way...

as for those vampires, just give 'em less of your business...

keep things strictly surface level (if you even have to deal with 'em at all)...

look, you can't dodge everyone, especially if you're stuck working with some of 'em...

just don't vent to people like that, especially when you're feeling low...

when everything's hitting the fan and they ask how you're doing—just tell 'em, yeah, it's like this every single day...🙂 and let 'em wonder...

TsunamiGirl said:Two ways to look at it:

1. Leeches only go after weak targets. They aren't stupid; they can sense strength from a mile away.

2. What you’re talking about might not even be leeches. It sounds more like people being terrified of someone else's success. If you blow up, the gap between you and them gets massive, forcing them to face their own lack of progress. Even if you don't rub it in, they feel it. Some people follow you through certain phases, then you outgrow them while they stay stuck, trying to drag you back down to their level. You gotta leave them behind if you want to move forward. That's just life. Don't sweat it. New people will come along—maybe even people who find *you* to be the burden...

And no, we aren't all "lone wolves." That's just an excuse for people with guilty consciences. Maybe I "took" something from someone once (I prefer saying I learned from them!), but that person got something out of it too. There were times when I was the one benefiting and they weren't, but those were mentors. I'm grateful. I'll pay it forward by mentoring someone else later. They get that.

Overcomplicating things? Please...

Not small at all...

You nailed it.

Jack Harris3 said:Look, I said I'm not giving it back, I'm holding onto it. 😁
You say "fuck off" before the leech bites you... not after it's already done its thing because there's nothing left to suck, and you're just scraping the bottom of the barrel with your last bit of strength... 😁

Where did you get this idea that you need some deep reason or an actual argument just to shut someone down?
What kind of argument do you need to not do—or not let someone make you do—something you don't want to do? An argument for your goddamn rights? Someone taught you wrong... 😁
"I don't care," "You're exhausting me, sorry," or "Go bother someone else" are all perfectly valid arguments if you really need them...
But do you actually have the guts to say them? 😛

Guess not. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Just like a million other people who play the victim for some and whine to others.
Leeches never bite where they aren't allowed to.
And since YOU are the one letting them in, and YOU decide how people treat you, who exploits you, and how much... stop whining and playing the victim. Either let them do what they want or shut it down.
As simple as that. 😉 🙂

The more I read you, the more you're becoming my spiritual icon...

Just caught up on this. My post was already up, but you basically said everything...

Sarah Cruz2 said:1. Leeches always latch onto WEAK PEOPLE. There's no way they'd even try to sink their teeth into someone strong. They have radar for that stuff.

Not quite.
Leeches will try to latch onto anyone and everyone; to them, everybody looks like an easy target. And honestly, they especially love those people who’ve already fed them once before. They’ll just keep coming back for more blood...
The strong ones? They’re the only ones who actually decide how much they're willing to give. But the weak ones... they act like the whole world would fall apart if they just said "no." Or sometimes, they don't even say anything at all, they just stop giving... 😁

Jack Harris3, perhaps I didn't define my point quite clearly enough.

You're absolutely right that leeches will try their luck with anyone. However, when they encounter someone truly strong, they tend to turn tail and run immediately; instead, they choose to parasitically cling to those who are vulnerable. That is why I suggested they target the weak.

I have also observed that the very moment a weak individual finds their strength, the leeches vanish. They just leave!

Sure, sounds good to me. 😁

restlessmarlin6 said:Why is it that they always seem to show up right at the moment you feel this surge of strength—this sense that you could actually take on the entire world, even yourself—just when you’ve finally started believing in your own damn abilities?
Why do they strike precisely when you’re an absolute powerhouse of energy?

What is it about people that makes them want to drain you—to crush you, figuratively and quite literally?
Why do they scavenge off your strength just to bolster their own?

Is it really that difficult to exist on a higher plane, to be on an upward trajectory, without a pack of hungry wolves circling you for a meal?

Isn't our whole existence just a constant ebb and flow of positive and negative energy? Isn't that the very core of being? Is there no other way to find internal empowerment than by consuming what others have struggled so hard to build?

Sometimes we are all wolves... unfortunately.

And we aren't even aware of the blow we're landing on the person we're exhausting.

Are there any techniques to restore positive energy after this kind of "vampirism" I've been dealing with lately? Meditation, perhaps? I could certainly use it, because I feel myself slipping again. Thank you.

Eh... well, that's why this world works—because everything balances out in such a beautiful, predictable order; it’s actually quite fascinating to me.
You ask why these types of people surface just when you’re feeling great, positive, and full of life... well, it’s precisely because of that. They are far too weak to generate that kind of feeling on their own—they lack the energy, they don't want the work, and frankly, they’re afraid of it... so they come to siphon it from you.
Take this, for example... think of a teacher reading out grades. Would you rather be the only one who failed, or would you rather cling to someone else who also failed? Just so you aren't alone in your mess... it’s easier to exploit others and justify your own failures through them.
If you find yourself being used like this... I can tell you a few things about who you are as a person.
I suspect you are a strong individual, someone who generally says what's on their mind—which might make you seem arrogant or "weird" to some... but beneath all that exterior, there’s a vulnerable side that is incredibly easy to hurt...
Because... precisely because you are a good person, you allow it. It bothers you, yet you let it happen, because you simply cannot bear to see someone miserable pleading for your help. Now, it doesn't always have to be literal tears... but they nag, they beg, they drain your spirit... and naturally, you can't say no... because you're stuck in your own head about it, right?
It’s much easier to leech energy from someone else than to actually put in the effort to build it yourself... isn't it? istina, it's easier, though the satisfaction is much greater when you do it yourself... but most people lack both the love and the self-confidence required to do that, so they patch themselves up using others.
I’m telling you, you should be happy you're this kind of person, because there aren't many left... because... in order to exploit someone, that person has to actually possess something of value, especially...
So... what now?
Well, look... I dealt with a similar issue. I had what I thought were friends, but they were really just acquaintances playing on my emotions to get what they wanted.
When I finally stood my ground and shut it down... of course, I became the villain. There was no other way. One day I just said, "Enough. No more playing games." And man, did I get rid of those people quickly... regardless of what they thought of me.
That's why today I don't have a massive circle of friends, but the ones I do have? They are more like brothers than just friends.
Anyway... I hope that helps even a little.

Jack Harris3 said:Look, I already said it—she isn't giving it back, she’s holding onto it. 😁
Just say "fuck off." Simple as that. before It’s like a leech, you know? It bites you when it’s actually got something to take. Once it's drained you dry and there's nothing left to suck, it just lets go. And that's when you're left stumbling, trying to pick yourself up off the floor with whatever strength you have left. 😁

Where on earth are you getting this nonsense from? You think I need to be completely exhausted just to call out bullshit? Or am I supposed to come up with some grand, formal arguments first?
What kind of argument do you actually need to justify not doing something—or more importantly, not letting someone else force you into it? What’s the big, grand justification for your goddamn right to say no? Honestly, I think someone taught you completely wrong. 😁
"I don't care!", "You're exhausting me, sorry!", "Go annoy someone else!"—if that’s really what you consider an actual argument, then honestly, just get lost. If you actually need a real point to stand on, those lines aren't going to cut it.
But do you actually have the guts to tell them? 😛

I'm guessing not, but hey, feel free to set me straight if I've got that wrong.

It’s just like any other person out there who plays both sides—acting like one thing to some people while turning around and whining about it to everyone else.
Leeches. Never. They aren't exactly playing by the rules over there, are they? It’s like they’re constantly trying to suck up to people where they definitely shouldn't be. Honestly, it's just ridiculous.
Look, at the end of the day, YOU are the one who lets them walk all over you. You’re the one deciding exactly how people get to treat you, where they can push your boundaries, and just how much they can exploit you. So, honestly? Stop stressing out and playing the victim. It’s that simple. Either let them do whatever they want, or shut it down if you aren't feeling it. It's on you.
It’s really as simple as that. 😉 🙂

Pesica, everything is standing still. 😉
But let’s be real—there are definitely people who, after reading what you just wrote, are going to become absolute nightmares. 😢
Maybe I’m just too damn incompetent to get rid of them once and for all.
At the end of the day, we’re still talking about a parent here. 😢

Sarah Cruz2 said:Jack, maybe I didn't explain that quite right.

Leeches try their luck with everyone, you're totally right there. But when they run into someone with actual backbone, they turn tail and run immediately; instead, they just stick around to drain the weak ones. That's why I said they latch onto people who are vulnerable.

I've also noticed that the second those weak people find their strength, the leeches vanish. Just like that!

Thank God for that, 😁
but how the hell do you actually become strong?

Leeches only target the weak when they’re full, but even then, their reign is fleeting because they just run out of steam.
It’s as simple as pie; there isn't some grand complexity you're all getting tangled up in.
When someone starts playing games, you throw them off balance by hitting them with a string of unrelated topics... just disrupt their rhythm. While they're sitting there scratching their heads trying to follow you, you either walk away or push until you find your footing and secure the win. Easy as breathing, clear as day. Amen.

The real question you need to grapple with is whether the energy you felt being replenished was actually drawn from someone else in the first place... I want you to really sit with that thought. If we are talking about true energy—the kind born from a field of istina—then it wouldn't even serve as sustenance for those leeches you’re describing. As long as one moves through this world governed by cause and effect, by the laws of causality, there will always be a certain amount taken from you. It is an inherent part of the cycle. The fundamental mistake being made here is the assumption that there is only one singular type of energy, at least from your specific perspective. If we are using your terminology—referring to an energy derived from Cistoca and istina—then such a force cannot be parasitized. It is given freely and naturally, but only to those capable of receiving it. The energy that people are stripping away from you simply isn't of that caliber; that is precisely why it can be taken, because it lacks the necessary Cistoca and the foundational strength from which it originates. You know deep down that what is truly istina can never be taken away from you... ever.

restlessmarlin6 said:Pesica, you hit the nail on the head 😉
But there are some people who, after reading what you wrote, just become even more exhausting 😢
Or maybe I’m just terrible at shutting them down.
Still, we're talking about a parent here. 😢

Maybe it's Mom? They can be so... 🤣

If it helps, mine is one of the biggest energy vampires I've ever met in my life.
Everything I said applies to her, too. 😉
I handle it by being stone-cold. Sometimes she pulls back, sometimes she gets mad and gives me the silent treatment, sometimes it's something else entirely, but that's her issue, not mine.
If she were actually smart, she would have given up a long time ago, but she isn't.
Just like how kids aren't smart when they let their parents walk all over them just because they're family.
My mother holds that same theory, and she gets incredibly resentful because I won't let her bleed me dry anymore. She literally claims out loud that she has the right to do whatever she wants to me simply because she gave birth to me.
Unfortunately, before my mother, there is one person who matters more to me than anyone else—even her—and that's me.
I will do whatever it takes to protect myself. From whoever it comes from. 😉

You can set boundaries with a parent, but it's harder with them. Partly because so many of them live under the delusion that they "have the right" to treat you however they want, and partly because of your own emotions... you don't want to lose them, so you end up tolerating things just to avoid the risk of a fallout.
Well, I took the risk, and I'm still taking it. If my mother prefers to cut contact rather than accept the fact that while I am her daughter, I am also an independent human being—not her property—then fine, let her cut it.
To hell with it, I'll survive.
Anyone who doesn't value me that much, or someone who doesn't give a damn about how they treat me, or someone incapable of understanding why I defend myself and that I have every right to do so... they don't belong in my life. Even if it's my mother.

She doesn't get it, so when she tries something, I'm not afraid to push back hard, though she hasn't cut me off yet. She uses the threat constantly, and the response she gets is always that I don't want this, but if she thinks cutting me off is better, I'll accommodate her wish—but she will never, ever be able to mess with me like this again.
She loses her mind when I tell her that. 😁
And I just tell her I'm absolutely not joking. Even though my tone is usually pretty sarcastic, since she does care about me deep down, she backs off for that moment, and that's that. I don't see an end to it, but hey, you never know. Maybe she'll learn one day. She spent over 30 years doing things her way, so it's not easy for her, I get that. But I'm not budging even a millimeter. Now it's my turn to live my 30s, and we'll see where we go from there. 😁

It all depends on you.
Make up your mind.
And finally, I see that Kegi is saying you're a good person. I don't doubt it, but in this specific situation, I'd describe you as a bit foolish. 😁
Because true kindness is what you do for others willingly and joyfully, something that makes you feel good rather than burdened.
Kindness isn't letting people—no matter who they are—do whatever they want to you when you clearly DON'T want it. To me, that's just being foolish.

No hard feelings, I hope you get what I'm saying.

Signature: former dummy 😁

restlessmarlin6, please understand that this is a process, which implies it takes time—I would venture to say months, if not years. It took me an entire year just to find my footing again, and even now, three years later, I feel like I am only halfway there.

Perhaps you could start by reflecting and keeping a journal; that might be the easiest way to identify where things are going wrong. Maybe try noting down your mistakes each evening, along with a plan for how to handle things differently next time when people start getting on your nerves and such. If you prepare yourself accordingly, 🙂it will eventually improve.

redrider63, you're totally right, I actually took that into account when I was thinking things through up there. And honestly, I’ve been reflecting on it—I’ve even caught myself being a little bit of a subtle parasite after starting these threads.

Jack Harris3, yeah, exactly, i guess 🙂 But look, I know I'm just at the beginning here, both spiritually and intellectually, and on this whole journey of growing up. It's normal to be a bit clueless. Actually, I hope I stay a little bit stupid my whole life, because man, if you end up knowing everything, what's even the point? What's the purpose of living then?
But I definitely agree that some nonsense needs to be cut out ASAP, because those things really do become priorities. Like this one, which is why I'm venting to you guys 🙂 😁

Sarah Cruz2, this has been going on for years, and it’ll probably keep going for just as long. Maybe not, though, if I move my entire setup somewhere else. Like, moving into a new apartment 😁 which might happen pretty soon.

Sometimes you just have to tackle spiritual problems by dealing with them on a physical level.

Tinchi said:It’s like a total tidal wave, honestly—this whole thing has been dragging on for years now, and at this rate, it feels like it'll just keep going forever. Though, I suppose it might finally wrap up if I decide to relocate my entire power source somewhere else, like moving into a different apartment 😁 which could actually happen quite soon.

Sometimes you just have to tackle those deep spiritual struggles by taking some very real, physical action.

that would really just be a temporary fix, 😁

trying to go the opposite way is definitely the harder path to take, but I truly believe it's what guarantees lasting peace and tranquility in the long run.

plus, it won't cost you a single cent 😉

otherwise, you're just going to end up regretting how you handled the source of it all later on.

good luck!
🙂

soto said:The real question here—and really think about this—is whether that energy you felt was actually being drained from someone else in the first place... because if it’s true energy, born from the field of Truth, then those leeches you’re talking about wouldn't even be able to touch it... As long as you're playing by the rules of cause and effect in this world, there’s always going to be a little bit taken from you... the biggest mistake is thinking there's only one kind of energy, just looking at it from your perspective... If you want to call it energy derived from Cistoca and Truth, then it can't be parasitized—it’s just given freely and naturally to whoever is capable of receiving it... This energy someone is taking from you isn't that kind, which is why it’s being stripped away—it lacks the necessary purity and strength that flows from the source... You know yourself that what is True can never be taken away... ever.

🙂
👍

Tinci, I really believe that physical separation is the essential FIRST STEP here; you should probably look into making that happen as soon as possible.