Energy Vampires: How to deal with them?

Tinchi said:Of course you’re stupid. Honestly, I actually hope I stay this way my whole life... because man, if you actually become smart at everything, what's even the point of living?
But I do agree that some kinds of stupidity need to be cut out ASAP, since they really do take priority. Like this one, which is why I'm even venting here... 🙂 😁

Oh, Tinchi. You've got it all wrong. It doesn't work like that at all.
First, you become smart about everything—and trust me, that isn't a bad thing. In fact, it's a blessing, because once you've figured things out, you can finally afford to be a little foolish with a clear conscience. 😁

You have to learn how to be strong first... only then can you actually allow yourself to be weak. 😉

Tinchi said:Pesica, you hit the nail on the head here. 😉
However, there are certain types of people who, once you've laid everything out just like you did, become incredibly exhausting to deal with. 😢
Or perhaps I am simply lacking the necessary skill to shut them down effectively.
At the end of the day, we are dealing with a parent. 😢

Well....

You might as well just say it straight instead of beating around the bush with all this nonsense.

I dealt with a similar issue years ago, and it was "resolved" entirely on its own—thank god for Thanatos. But let me be clear: it wasn't a real solution, because of the lingering feeling left behind—that frustrating sense that a final explanation or mutual understanding was never actually reached.

There is a strange habit among frantic parents: they operate under the assumption that they are always right, yet they insist on proving it in the most foolish and inappropriate ways imaginable.

In the end, it leaves us looking just as irrational as they are. 😱 😁

It seems to me that by deciding to move, you have already begun tackling the core of your problem. Moving toward total financial independence will likely prove far more beneficial in the long run than attempting any sort of "energy alignment techniques." 👍
Ultimately, you will be the one to judge.

Best of luck.

It’s just sitting there, and honestly, it would be amazing if we could just put this whole thing to bed once and for all.
Most of the time, though, that doesn't happen.
Look, ever since I moved away, my parents have been acting like total leeches... they somehow always find a way to reach me no matter the distance. 622 miles 😁
Basically, it would mean I wouldn't have to constantly push back or deal with their nonsense. 😉

The bottom line is that Tinchi still needs to figure out how to set boundaries with people.
With everyone. Even her own parents.

Of course, when I say she "needs" to, I don't mean it's a requirement. She doesn't *have* to if she doesn't want to... but it would definitely be the smarter move. 🙂

Tinchi said:Why do they show up right when you finally feel powerful enough to take on the world—including yourself? Just as you actually start believing in what you can do?
Why do they pop up precisely when you're running on high octane?

What is it about people that makes them want to drain you—to basically tear you down, figuratively and literally?
Why do they try to feed off your strength just to bolster their own?

Is it really that hard to stay on an upward trajectory without a pack of hungry wolves jumping out at you?

Isn't life just one big cycle of good and bad energy? Isn't that the whole point of existing? Is there any way to empower yourself without having to suck away whatever little they managed to scrape together?

Sometimes we're all wolves... unfortunately.

And half the time, we don't even realize how hard we're hitting the person we're draining.

Are there any actual techniques to boost positive energy after being "leech-attacked" like I have been lately? Maybe meditation? I could seriously use some help because I feel myself slipping again. Thanks.

Solid question. I've been there too. Yeah—when you're on a roll, full of energy and ideas, the leeches appear. Just to throw you off course. To distract you, to mess with your head...😕

In my experience, the best move is to just retreat—find some peace and quiet. Rest, meditate, get your headspace back in order. If you can't do that, just shut down your aura and isolate.

Jack Harris3 said:That’s true—if only it actually solved the issue.
Usually, it doesn't.
I mean, ever since I moved away, my parents—those absolute leeches—can still find me if they really try. 622 miles 😁
Basically, it would only work if I didn't just snap and lose it on them. 😉

The real thing is that Tinchi still needs to learn how to set boundaries with people.
Everyone. Even her own parents.

Of course, when I say she "needs" to, I’m being figurative. She doesn't *have* to—but it’d definitely be the smarter move. 🙂

👍 👍 I'm all in on this!🙏

I have this acquaintance who is a total energy vampire. I’ll go grab coffee with her feeling upbeat and ready to take on the world, but by the time we’re done, I’m completely drained. Just zero willpower left. She sucks the life right out of me every single time.
So, I cut her off.

I read somewhere that you can protect yourself from these types by visualizing a blue circle—like imagining yourself inside a blue bubble where your own energy stays contained. Honestly, I don't know if it actually works, though I find myself doing something similar when I'm stuck on a packed subway train...

What I *do* know works is maintaining a solid mindset and being assertive. Basically, just using "I" statements to set boundaries.

👍

Look, I honestly don't think it's even possible for someone to drain my energy without choking on it themselves... I just have far too much of it to spare. 😉 But you know what? My *environment* can definitely pull it off... for instance, if I spend more than twenty minutes wandering through a massive Home Depot, that... predatory... vibe starts sucking the very thoughts right out of my head through a straw. A thin, long straw. Complete with spikes. That’s usually my cue to make a break for the exit on the left. 😁

But here’s a bit of a philosophical question for the group: do these leeches actually *show up* because we're overflowing with energy, or do we only start *noticing* them once we finally have something worth taking...? In other words—maybe they've always been lurking around us, but when we're already running on empty... how exactly do you pour from an empty cup into another empty one?

hollowviper72 said:Here’s a little philosophical food for thought: do these energy vampires actually *show up* because we’re radiating so much positive energy, or do we just start *noticing* them once we finally have something worth taking...?

They've always been around. 😁

It's funny how everyone thinks they're the exception to the rule, though...
Vampires aren't just "other people." We all have that side of ourselves.
Or maybe someone wants to push back on that idea? 😁

hollowviper72 said:But here’s the philosophical kicker: do these leeches actually *show up* because we’re bursting with energy, or do we just start *noticing* them once we finally have something worth stealing? Like, maybe they've always been lurking in the shadows, but when you're already running on empty... how do you pour from an empty cup?

Interesting point. My guess? They're always there, just waiting for an opening. We only notice them when we realize we're being drained.

What about the giving side of things, though?
Take, say, helping someone out by just listening—being there for them. That drains me. I'm putting my own energy out there. That part is easy to get.

I'm wondering if anyone knows what it looks like—or what the fallout is—when you try to send energy to someone who isn't physically right in front of you. Basically, how do you project energy to someone from a distance?

🙂

Jack Harris3 said:I'll just send it over as an attachment.

It’s a scan, obviously. 😉

I have to respectfully disagree with Pesičin's claim that we’re all just energy vampires. Honestly, I tend to have quite a massive reserve of energy myself... in fact, I haven't met a single soul who hasn't felt at least a little bit more revitalized after spending some time in my company. I can say with absolute certainty that I’ve never noticed anyone leaving a hangout with me feeling drained. On the contrary—when *I* actually run low on steam, or when I'm feeling truly exhausted, I just stay tucked away inside my own four walls and sleep it off. 🙂

It isn't like I feel depleted if someone happens to draw from my energy. It feels more like there’s an inexhaustible volcano inside of me... sure, I’ve dealt with my share of depressions and bouts of sadness, but nothing has ever been able to put that fire out. 🙂

So, how do you actually send someone energy? I don't want to get too bogged down in mysticism here... but what Pesica is saying is actually spot on. And it doesn't have to be via email, either. It could be a phone call, a quick text, or even a handwritten letter if you're feeling old-school. Positive energy is essentially just a positive thought; we can top up someone else's "tank" most easily simply by letting them know that someone is thinking of them and wishing them well. Without getting too philosophical about it, that’s something pretty much all of us can do. Anyway, that’s just my take on it.

hollowviper72 said:I’d have to stage a protest against Pesičin’s claim that we’re all just energy vampires. Honestly, I’ve got plenty of juice to spare... I haven't met a single soul who didn't feel at least a little more recharged after spending some time hanging out with me. I've seriously never noticed anyone feeling drained or low after we've hung out.

Wanna grab coffee? Just so I can see what kind of mood I'll be in afterward? 😁
I’m guessing great, since you'll probably just get up and leave five minutes later anyway... won't even give you enough time to get on my nerves. 😛

I think this whole "vampire" label gets thrown around a bit too much in here...
I mean, come on, they actually have medical uses. 😁
They were especially popular back in the Middle Ages. 😁

Tell me, hollowviper72, have you ever had a rough patch where you opened up to a friend or someone close, just vented a little? You know, when you were feeling down and needed to talk it out?
Well, if you have... what would you call yourself in that moment?

People always label leeches as "thieves," but they completely forget about the people who actually matter to us—we just view their way of taking from us as perfectly normal. Or maybe we're the ones taking from them, and it's just expected that they let us.
Family, friends, partners... that's just what's expected of them. 😉

A leech is a leech. 😁

Oh, hold on just a second! A leech is primarily defined by what she *is*—it’s baked right into her very essence. And the whole essence of being a leech? It’s the act of leeching itself. What you’re describing doesn't necessarily have to be "leeching"—the real point here is that we shouldn't dump our burdens onto everyone else; rather, we need to make it clear to those around us that their role in solving our personal issues is strictly passive. In other words, "a shoulder to cry on" isn't meant to be an "emotional trash bin," but precisely that—a support system. Leeches don't lean on people; they extract from them. And asking for support isn't the same thing as saying, "Hey, carry me/drag me along."

The distinction between a true leech and someone who simply confides in a friend because they need a listening ear is subtle, yet absolutely vital—a leech doesn't give a single damn about the impact they leave behind.

P.S. I don't do coffee; I'm a tea person. Earl Grey if it's available, otherwise I'll settle for some tropical trash. 😛

Once again, you’re just being overly sensitive... 😁
Either that, or you just don't have any real friends. 🤣
Look, if someone comes to a friend because they're struggling or just need to vent, they aren't thinking about what kind of "vibe" they're putting out in that moment. They just need that support. A person who vents is like any other energy vampire—it’s exhausting—but in a real friendship, neither side sees it as a bad thing.
It’s the exact same deal with partners, maybe even worse. This whole idea of "sharing" burdens or thoughts... it’s basically just a mutual agreement to be each other's emotional outlets. One person acts as the battery whenever the other needs a recharge.

Could even be tea. 😁

Honestly, it’s always the same routine—I only head to bed when things have truly gone south. 😛 I make sure to keep my pink safety pins tucked away with me at all times, just in case.

Being a leech is about who you *are* at your core—and you're only a leech if you possess that specific, inherent void, that "leech-like" quality. To have that void means you are perpetually a leech, plain and simple. You can't exactly be a part-time leech, any more than you could be a part-time good or bad person. It’s binary: you either are, or you aren't.

hollowviper72 said:Look, let's get this straight: having a shoulder to cry on isn't the same thing as being an emotional dumping ground. A support system is meant to be a pillar, not a trash can for someone else's baggage. Leeches don't lean on people—they drain them. And leaning on someone doesn't mean you're asking them to carry your entire life on their back.

There’s a razor-thin but massive difference between a leech and someone who just needs an ear. When you open up about your struggles because you need to be heard, you aren't looking to drain anyone. A leech, on the other hand, doesn't give a damn about the wreckage they leave behind once they've had their fill.

🙂 I’m right there with hollowviper72 on this one. And Earl Grey, obviously. 😎

To me, "energy vampires" are those people who force their problems onto you without even being asked. They just want to vent, moan about how hard life is, and act like the whole world is out to get them—all while dragging you down into the gutter with them. It’s always the same old loop: "Oh, poor me, everything is terrible, everyone is awful, and there's nothing I can do." They just spin in circles, having the exact same hollow conversations year after year. And if you actually try to offer some helpful advice? Forget it. They won't take it. For whatever reason, they’d much rather stay stuck in that endless cycle of negativity. I wouldn't go so far as to say these people are malicious; honestly, I think they're just lost. They’re drowning in their own sadness, depression, or hopelessness—whatever you want to call it. Life is genuinely heavy for them. It's not like they're acting like vampires 100% of the time, but they definitely have that tendency, and it becomes a habit. You don't have to judge them or shut them out completely, but you also shouldn't let them suck the life out of you.

I wouldn't exactly go as far as calling it leeching when friends are just mutually leaning on one another for support.

Jack Harris3 said:It’s not just "those other people" who act like leeches. Let’s be real: we’re all capable of being leeches ourselves.
Or is someone looking to start a fight over this claim?

Is it true that admitting you’re wrong is only half the battle? 😁

Let’s be real: everyone hits a point where they need a little extra support or a boost from the people closest to them. And honestly, that’s just how healthy relationships work—it’s an energy exchange. It’s a two-way street. But those "energy vampires" I’ve mentioned before? They don't play by those rules. They just take. They’ll drain you dry because, frankly, they don't have the capacity to give anything back. When you're talking to a close friend who’s going through the exact same thing you are, that exchange fluctuates. You might lean on them for a bit, then they lean on you, and you both walk away feeling relatively balanced. But a true vampire? They dominate the entire conversation, sucking the life out of you from start to finish. 😁

Jack Harris3 said:People always love to label leeches as "thieves," but they completely overlook the ones that actually hold value for us. Because of that, we just sit there and accept their kind of theft as if it’s perfectly normal. Honestly, sometimes we’re the ones doing the stealing from them, and then we act like it's only natural that they let us get away with it.
Whether it’s family, friends, or your significant other—there’s always this unspoken pressure to be everything for everyone.
Sharing your struggles, your deep thoughts, or whatever else you’ve got on your mind is often just a polite way of saying you're engaging in mutual parasitism. You end up acting as nothing more than a personal battery for someone else whenever they need an extra spark.

I totally agree—we draw our strength from our family and friends, and they do the same with us. But in my opinion, there’s a massive distinction between actual energy vampires and people who just engage in mutual emotional exchange. Real vampires are pure parasites, whereas a healthy, agreed-upon flow of energy is just symbiosis. 😉

hollowviper72 said:You can't be a part-time leech, just like you can't be part-time good or bad. It’s binary—you either are, or you aren't.

But life isn't just black and white. Nobody is purely evil, and nobody is a saint. Plus, "good" and "bad" are pretty subjective depending on the situation and how you define them at any given moment, and 🙂
Sure, some people might bail when they're burnt out, while others might head to a bar for a few 😁, some find a middle ground, and others do something else entirely. But it's totally possible for a decent person to act like a leech once in a while, or for a total leech to decide to step back. I'm assuming by *leeches* you mean those chronically dissatisfied people who have no idea how to deal with their own negative headspace, so they constantly hunt for attention and drain everyone else's energy?

Oleander said:Well, it isn't all just black and white. Nobody is entirely bad, nor are they completely good. And besides, it really depends on how you define good and evil in any given moment or specific situation—it’s all very subjective, you know? 😉

No, I don't think it's strictly black and white. However—and this is where I draw my own line—I do make a distinction between good and evil, and between good and bad people. I truly believe that within every single individual, there is a constant internal tug-of-war between various principles of "light" and "darkness." The result of that struggle—which, frankly, goes much deeper than anything we could ever put into words here—is what we perceive as a person's character. To me, a "good person" isn't necessarily some flawless paragon of virtue or a shining knight in armor; rather, they are simply someone who, at the end of that internal battle, ends up on the mostly untarnished side of the spiritual spectrum. In my view, good people are those who manage to overcome their inner darkness, regardless of how successfully or easily they navigate it. That’s why I tend to see people as either good or bad—or perhaps it's more accurate to say "tainted" or "pure." I don't subscribe to the idea of good and evil as absolute cosmic constants. It's more about... well, it's about principle.

And I certainly don't believe someone spends their *entire life* being purely good or purely bad. Let's not get carried away! But in any given moment, we are precisely either good or bad... there isn't a third option.

I assume by *leeches* you mean those chronically dissatisfied people who have no idea how to deal with their own negative psychological makeup, so they constantly hunt for attention and drain everyone else's energy?

Actually, you described leeches almost exactly how I framed them at the start of my post. 🙂 I don't think leeches should be judged simply for existing. However, I've never been one to accept excuses, and therefore, I don't believe we should tolerate them out of mere pity—after all, we all choose who we want to be. Leeches are emotional "black holes" that, by their very nature, suck the positivity right out of others. There are plenty of reasons why someone might become that way, but as long as there is even one person who has walked through hell and still managed to reach the stars without losing their warmth, then those who have fallen... well, they have no one to blame for their condition but themselves.

Oleander said:To me, leeches are those people who just force their problems onto me—and honestly, they do it to everyone else too—without ever even asking if I have the headspace for it.

Personally, I think anyone who drains someone else's energy is a leech. Period. 🙂

If they ask for permission first, then maybe they're just a "dear" little leech... 😁

Mr. Pes said:To me, a leech is anyone—period—who drains someone else's energy. 🙂

But if they’re doing it with your permission? Well, then they're just a "dear little leech." 😁

I’m willing to bet you have some pretty eccentric pets at home... 😉