Best self-help books?

Has anyone here actually delved into the titles found in those local bookstores under the "self-help" section? I find myself wondering if any of you have derived genuine value from them, or if it is all merely an exercise in selling smoke and mirrors. If you have encountered anything truly substantive, I would certainly welcome your recommendations.

Look, I know this isn't a textbook,
but you're going to get some killer lectures right here:
http://isites.harvard.edu/icb/icb.do...=icb.page69189

No book is ever truly a waste of time; it certainly won't do you any harm. You'll have to be the judge of which ones hold weight and which don't, but that's an assessment you can only make once you've actually finished the pages.

I definitely agree, J.P. Morgan: The power of the subconscious mind is absolutely incredible
Andrew Carnegie: Psychology of Success, Part II—it’s a bit more of a breezy self-help read

I’ve picked up plenty of other books along similar lines, but honestly, these two were total game-changers for me

There are just so many books like this hitting the shelves lately that it’s hard to even choose one. They seem to be selling incredibly well, too. With how stressful things have been and how much our social lives have shrunk, these kinds of reads are becoming a go-to escape. Everyone seems to be writing them now. I won't deny they can give you a little boost when you need it, but I think the effect is mostly short-lived...

I am asking because, in my experience, the impact of what I read only lingers for maybe three or four weeks. During that brief window, the brain still retains a sort of automatic recall of the material. But once those few weeks pass, the demands of real life begin to take precedence; the mind reverts to its "natural state," and whatever I have read is relegated to the background. Now, when I say "natural state," I don't necessarily mean a healthy or even a correct way of functioning—rather, I mean the way the mind is biologically predisposed to operate. It suggests that the reading hasn't truly altered my internal architecture; instead, it functioned much like a temporary pill designed to address a symptom before fading away entirely.

shadowcrane192 said:Has anyone here actually delved into the titles found in those local bookstores under the "self-help" section? I find myself wondering if any of you have derived genuine value from them, or if it is all merely an exercise in selling smoke and mirrors. If you have encountered anything truly substantive, I would certainly welcome your recommendations.

Back in 2000, the 38th edition of Dr. Herbert Benson's "relaxation reaction" was released, originally published way back in 1975. By then, it had moved nearly 4,000,000 copies and been translated into 13 languages.
It’s a self-help book centered on stress management. It sat at the top of the bestseller lists for months.
Dr. Benson is a regular professor at the Institute for Mind and Body at Harvard Medical School. He’s co-authored over 160 scientific papers and seven books.
Hardly any scientific paper has reached that many readers, which suggests they haven't exactly provided immediate health benefits to the general public.
I assume they contributed indirectly to medical progress, but they didn't impact people's lives nearly as significantly as this specific self-help book did.
Plenty of people likely urged him not to publish something so accessible and easy to digest, but he had enough backbone to go through with it anyway.
Look, I'm not saying every single book in the self-help aisle is gold. But honestly, many have helped people more than those massive volumes of PhD dissertations and academic papers gathering dust in some dark corner of a library.
Most authors don't bother making their work accessible to the average reader, and much of it is written in such dense jargon that it fails to grab anyone's attention in the first place.

"Self-help"... that is quite a broad subject, and there is an endless amount of material out there to digest. Personally, I have explored several of these works, and my view is that they can be genuinely beneficial if approached correctly, though they certainly aren't without their pitfalls. It really depends on what specific area you are looking to address.

I first started coming across this kind of material when I was about 15 or 16...

The vast majority of these books rely on a specific archetype—the Cinderella complex, the outsider, the classic American Dream. Essentially, they place the reader in the position of a victim or an underdog, from whom the author intends to create a prince, a princess, or at the very least, a famous and wealthy individual surrounded by a massive circle of friends and perfect love, all through the "magic wand" of the book itself. 😁

One book I remember reading back then offered a structured plan divided into specific intervals—say, seven days to fix your health, seven days for your social life, seven for romance, and seven for your career. 🤣 The idea was that you would eventually manifest this flawless existence. 😁

My primary grievance with these types of books is how they market an idealized image. Rather than soothing the narcissistic urge for perfection, they usually exacerbate it. Instead of paying a price for an unattainable ideal, the reader feels that this perfect life is suddenly within reach just by finishing the final chapter.

Now, I don't want to be entirely cynical. Occasionally, these books can actually touch on something useful. For instance, I think the first book of this genre I ever picked up was titled something like "No is the Right Answer," or something along those lines. That particular book was actually quite decent because it targeted a very specific issue—the guilt one feels when trying to protect their own integrity. It wasn't exactly revolutionary or profound wisdom, but at that age, it provided a helpful sense of imaginary support.
I also recall one regarding fear; I can't remember the title now, but it was similarly mediocre.

Ultimately, my conclusion would be this: if you are facing a very specific problem and happen upon a book that addresses that exact issue, there is no harm in reading it, especially if it offers a bit of positive inspiration.
However, if you are seeking out these books simply because you feel a vague desire to change yourself—without having any clear idea of what needs changing or why, but being seduced by the word "power" in a title—then these authors are essentially hooking into your wounded narcissism. In reality, they are just delaying your progress by pushing you even deeper into the role of Cinderella.

dustynomad182 said:"Self-help"... that is quite a broad subject, and there is an endless amount of material out there to digest. Personally, I have explored several of these works, and my view is that they can be genuinely beneficial if approached correctly, though they certainly aren't without their pitfalls. It really depends on what specific area you are looking to address.

Stress management. Self-confidence.

Brandon Jackson49 said:I definitely agree, J.P. Morgan: The power of the subconscious mind is absolutely incredible
Andrew Carnegie: Psychology of Success, Part II—it’s a bit more of a breezy self-help read

I’ve picked up plenty of other books along similar lines, but honestly, these two were total game-changers for me

Regarding *The Power of Your Subconscious Mind*—could someone provide a brief overview of what it covers? I haven't been able to find anything substantial about it on Google...

shadowcrane192 said:Stress management. Self-confidence.

Do you have any hobbies or activities that you genuinely enjoy and feel competent at? Or perhaps just something simple that brings you joy?
Engaging in those kinds of pursuits will boost your confidence far more effectively than any self-help book ever could.
You might feel like stepping away from them is neglecting your personal growth, but there is a certain irony in the fact that we often become better versions of ourselves precisely when we let go of the obsession with perfect self-improvement.

shadowcrane192 said:I am asking because, in my experience, the impact of what I read only lingers for maybe three or four weeks. During that brief window, the brain still retains a sort of automatic recall of the material. But once those few weeks pass, the demands of real life begin to take precedence; the mind reverts to its "natural state," and whatever I have read is relegated to the background. Now, when I say "natural state," I don't necessarily mean a healthy or even a correct way of functioning—rather, I mean the way the mind is biologically predisposed to operate. It suggests that the reading hasn't truly altered my internal architecture; instead, it functioned much like a temporary pill designed to address a symptom before fading away entirely.

Then you just read the book again.
It’ll work again.
That’s how I quit smoking.
I read "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking" several times until my brain finally gave in to that "rinsing" effect. Now, I haven't touched a cigarette in eight years.🙂

This month, I've been digging through the Law of Attraction, Michael Losier, and Harmonic Wealth by James Arthur Ray.
😳

~~~
Basically, I attract whatever I dump my attention, energy, and focus into—doesn't matter if it's positive or negative.
Law of Attraction, Michael Losier

I have to admit, I’ve always had a bit of an aversion to that kind of literature. To me, it all feels incredibly superficial—just another clever marketing ploy designed to prey on the naive.

Samuel Miller21 said:Do you have any hobbies or activities that you genuinely enjoy and feel competent at? Or perhaps just something simple that brings you joy?
Engaging in those kinds of pursuits will boost your confidence far more effectively than any self-help book ever could.
You might feel like stepping away from them is neglecting your personal growth, but there is a certain irony in the fact that we often become better versions of ourselves precisely when we let go of the obsession with perfect self-improvement.

I have a few activities I dabble in from time to time, but they don't quite feel like enough. I'm not sure how to put it into words. It feels good while I'm actually doing them, but once it's over, the effect just... evaporates.

I’ve waded through a mountain of books on this subject, but honestly, none of them really hit the mark for me. Some were just an exhausting chore to get through, while others were actually quite relaxing and enjoyable. The most recent one I picked up was "Sex, Love and Dharma" by Arthur Yoen. It falls under the self-help umbrella, even though it flirts a bit with New Age concepts. Personally, I found it to be alright.
There was another decent one featuring a frog on the cover, but the title escapes me right now. 😬(Perhaps I should look into something regarding memory retention. 😳)

You just take what you need from every book, and that’s what sticks—even if you don't realize it at the time. Usually, I'll head over to the psychology section in the library (not the self-help aisle) and grab whatever feels right intuitively... and it almost always turns out to be exactly what I needed in that moment. I bought Eckhart Tolle's *The Power of Now*, but it just sat on my shelf for three months—I guess it wasn't time to get the full value out of it yet. For confidence, though, my go-to is *Jonathan Livingston Seagull* by Richard Bach. It isn't strictly "self-help," but it’s magical... I also have a soft spot for anything by Louise Hay.

I don't think we should expect anything external to change us like some kind of magic wand—books included. It comes down to your foundation, your will, and your goals. The tools are always there; you just have to actually use them.

shadowcrane192 said:Regarding *The Power of Your Subconscious Mind*—could someone provide a brief overview of what it covers? I haven't been able to find anything substantial about it on Google...

Essentially, it lays out how you can achieve your goals by tapping into something we all possess but rarely truly grasp: the power of our own subconscious. It demonstrates that our state of mind, our physical health, and even the opportunities we encounter are direct reflections of how we think, feel, and believe. It strikes this perfect balance between high-level theory and practical mental techniques to ground those concepts.
I really appreciated the writing style; it isn't bogged down by overly complex jargon or convoluted sentences. The point is clear as day and very easy to digest.

Like any book in this genre, it shouldn't just be read—it needs to be internalized and applied. That is its defining characteristic. Without practice, all the theory in the world is just useless noise...

There's truth to that. This book found its way into my hands exactly when I needed it most, and it delivered results. Honestly, I regret neglecting it for a while; I let other things get in the way and stopped practicing what I learned, which felt like circling back to square one. But as of this morning, I've picked it up again and am getting back to work.

Brandon Jackson49 said:I definitely agree, J.P. Morgan: The power of the subconscious mind is absolutely incredible
Andrew Carnegie: Psychology of Success, Part II—it’s a bit more of a breezy self-help read

I’ve picked up plenty of other books along similar lines, but honestly, these two were total game-changers for me

I’ve gone through those last two myself, and they aren't half bad. I picked up "power of the universe" by Joseph Murphy, and honestly, that one resonated much more deeply with me—though, in my experience, none of these books do much good unless you actually start putting the advice into practice. It wasn't until I began applying the principles that things finally started clicking for me regarding certain aspects of my life.

I've been meaning to get my hands on "The Power of the Subconscious Mind," but every single time I stop by the local library to check it out, it’s somehow already checked out! :-)