Offside Chat Archives (2014-2021)

ruggedjackal46 said:By the time I’m standing here in the middle of the fire, overthinking this whole thing, the cat has already leaped through the window, onto a branch, down the tree, and out onto the street, perfectly safe. ☕

That way, you can focus on saving helpless dogs and the innocent...🙂

My cat literally just leaped out of a second-story window a few days ago and she's totally fine—honestly, what kind of dog could even survive that? ☕

Matthew Young35 said:I once had a dog bite my arm, though it wasn't particularly severe.

I once accidentally stepped in the digestive remains of a pet belonging to what I am certain was a highly responsible citizen.

neonfalcon16 said:I once accidentally stepped in the digestive remains of a pet belonging to what I am certain was a highly responsible citizen.

So, you're just going to ruin your sandal?

Larry Fox5 said:I don't know what kind of crowd you run with, but honestly, nobody I've ever met has ever told me they feel awkward eating at a restaurant just because there's a dog around.
So, we aren't talking about some small percentage here—it's literally zero percent.
And look, in all my years on this planet, I’ve never had one single bad experience with it—doesn't matter if it was my dog or someone else's...

That's because over in Germany, they've turned men into women, if they even have anything left down there.

Larry Fox5 said:The dog isn't sitting in a chair or licking plates—it’s under the table, literally out of sight. Honestly, I have no clue how any sane person could be bothered by that, whether they love dogs or not...

And why even bother complaining about "badly behaved" pets when we should probably be talking about certain people instead?

I mean, what’s the real difference between sitting next to a dog that keeps bugging its owner to get into their food, versus some guy at the next table who farts every thirty seconds?

If I actually wanted to eat surrounded by animals—their smells, their noise, their staring—I’d head straight into the woods among wild beasts or go to the zoo. I wouldn't choose a place where you’re supposed to clean up and be presentable before arriving—a task even a pedigreed breed reluctantly performs—and where you're spending money specifically to feel comfortable. When someone parks themselves right next to me with a dog without a second thought, I take it as a provocation and a total lack of respect, even if I’d much sooner be kicked out by some Neanderthals who have zero sense of social etiquette.

Look, I get it. You love your dogs. You've made that clear, you want to be together, but you can't always be. And just because you can go everywhere doesn't mean they should have open access to every door you walk through.

Honestly, if we're going to allow them into restaurants, why not hospitals or libraries? For every single public institution or building, I bet you could find a "valid" reason why it wouldn't be so terrible to welcome dogs too.

brightpilot6 said:Just imagine that—he actually went for the leg. He’s probably wearing some kind of baggy trousers, maybe sweatpants or even a jumpsuit. It’s pretty obvious that dogs can sense a total fashion disaster from a mile away ☕

🤣🤣🤣

It was denim jeans with sexy suspenders, my personal favorite pair. ☕

Peter Thompson4 said:Honestly, nothing ruins my day quite like having a pigeon take a massive dump right in my mouth

Honestly, look at the bright side: I'd much rather have a pigeon poop in my mouth than do it to myself. 😉

☕

Matthew Young35 said:So, you're just going to ruin your sandal?

It was absolutely delicious.

You aren't allowed to light up a cigar in a restaurant because apparently, you're ruining everyone else's health, yet somehow bringing a dog inside is perfectly fine.
My ex used to be allergic to dog hair, and this guy walks right into a restaurant with his dog, so I told the waiter about the allergy and asked if we could just finish our meal before they vacuumed the dog hair up after we left.

The guy with the dog immediately shut me down, saying we had no right to complain. Naturally, I never stepped foot in that place again, and I made sure to tell everyone about the whole unpleasant ordeal. So, just like how Preata avoids restaurants where dogs are banned, I avoid places where they're allowed. In reality, most people don't want dogs in restaurants, and it's definitely not true that most places permit them—only a tiny fraction do. In Germany, for instance, out of several Michelin-starred spots, I know at least three that won't allow them. So, Preata, your arguments don't really hold water...

Man, when some guy walks into a restaurant with an Argentine Dog, it’s just... wow.

ruggedjackal46 said:If the fire is in a restaurant, I'm grabbing the dog. Because honestly, who even knows if the dog was in the restaurant to begin with? ☕

🤣🤣

By the looks of it, all sorts of various traumas involving dogs seem to be the most widespread obsession on the Offside Chat 🤣

Noah Roberts46 said:+1

For some people, dogs actually matter more than human beings. And then they have the nerve to throw those tired clichés at you—claiming everyone should just be as smart and kind as a dog to make the world a better place. Give me a break. 🤣 🤦

🤣🤣

Honestly, my smartphone is more important to me than 95% of the population, so don't give me that "it's just a dog" nonsense.

They're covered in bacteria and walking around dragging filth from their paws everywhere they go. 🤣
Fine, then by your logic, we should probably panic because countless people have died from dog-related issues during your lifetime, right? Let's just spread some hysteria while we're at it.

As far as restaurants go, the reality is simple: the places that allow dogs will naturally attract owners and enthusiasts, while the ones that don't will remain exclusive to everyone else. It’s perfectly fine for both to exist.
Look at churches. They don't allow dogs, yet the doors are wide open to anyone who doesn't care for them. It's not rocket science...

Look, they're being given way too much leeway; at the end of the day, it's an animal.

Larry Fox5 said:I honestly don't know what kind of backwater towns you people live in if this is even a debate...
Where I'm from, it's just common sense—waiters at a restaurant should automatically bring out a water bowl for my dog, and honestly, it’s rare to find anyone who doesn't stop for a second to give him some pets.

Every once in a while, I get a real nice reminder of why you should just steer clear of this entire country.

🤣 🤣

The last part is just pure comedy to me—the idea of a waiter petting a dog and then immediately turning around to serve food to a customer. For once, I'm actually glad I live in this absolute wasteland.

Look, Byron, look at what they've done to us—they've stripped away every single thing we could actually joke about. You can't make a harmless crack about gay people, you can't say you support the Air Force, you can't even mention the FBI without someone getting twitchy. You can't even bring up minorities, even if it's just because some guy from a small town in California you disagree with has a name that sounds suspiciously Italian. You can't tease certain groups about their symbols, trans issues aren't even really a thing here yet (thank God, I'm holding onto hope there), you can't even send your kid to Sunday school because there's a higher chance a professor from a liberal arts college will step in and lecture you, and you can't even enjoy a steak without worrying some Oscar winner is going to call you out for being emotional about baby cows. They’re even pushing those cropped jeans because they're terrified people might actually see their ankles.

What is even left for us?! Dogs in restaurants? But now you can't even complain about those smelly, hairy little beasts sniffing butts on the way to the bistro and peeing on everything in sight. Maybe you can still subtly poke fun at a crest with a white stripe. That's basically it. These people are more invasive than a virus spreading through a cruise ship.

Sure, they act like Real Madrid—not exactly the brightest bulbs in the box, but they always seem to come out on top. The problem is, they're also a bunch of fossils. We don't have a future.

If they decide to take over the economy too, we'll all be walking our dogs to restaurants. Only we'll be stuck using the side entrance meant for delivery drivers. 😁

Let's see what the vibe of this sub is looking like today

I’ve put together a little poll just so I can actually figure out who you people are.

https://forms.gle/7i8udVCd4TMiJUEz9

ironpanther5 said:Let's see what the vibe of this sub is looking like today

I’ve put together a little poll just so I can actually figure out who you people are.

https://forms.gle/7i8udVCd4TMiJUEz9

donkey 🤣

Noah Roberts46 said:Look, they're being given way too much leeway; at the end of the day, it's an animal.

🤣 🤣

The last part is just pure comedy to me—the idea of a waiter petting a dog and then immediately turning around to serve food to a customer. For once, I'm actually glad I live in this absolute wasteland.

I swear I saw this exact fever dream play out in real life today😁

ironpanther5 said:Let's see what the vibe of this sub is looking like today

I’ve put together a little poll just so I can actually figure out who you people are.

https://forms.gle/7i8udVCd4TMiJUEz9

Hell yes, I live for when they spray me.

🤣

wiredrider9 said:donkey 🤣

The fundamentals are clearly winning here 😁

Alright, enough with the back-and-forth nonsense. T2 is back on TV tonight ☕