Melissa Cooper7 said:When I first sat down with my doctor, I practically collapsed into the chair—you know, one of those fancy office chairs—and she immediately started lecturing me on how to sit properly. Total nerd move. I almost got up and walked out right then and there. Then she starts handing me these "life change" tips that made zero sense to me. We eventually reached some sort of middle ground, and she actually helped pull me through my mess, even though there were plenty of times I wanted to tell her where to shove it.
I had the absolute worst experiences with public mental health services. Out of five scheduled sessions, the provider didn't even show up for three of them. And get this—I was traveling from another city, spending about $30 on gas and round-trip costs, plus wasting 4 or 5 hours on the road. So I drive all that way from out of town, drop the cash for gas, maybe grab a cheap snack because I’m running low on funds, and she just doesn't show. It honestly sent my blood pressure through the roof every single time. I’d end up having a panic attack and getting home totally wiped out from the travel, the stress, and the sheer frustration. After that, you really have to wonder if it's even worth calling back and booking again, just wondering if they'll actually show up this 🙄
My private psychiatrist used some pretty questionable methods. For example, a session would start with him asking what happened last week, I’d say, "Well, I got into a fight with my best friend," and he’d just pivot to, "So, how were classes at college?" Like, seriously? He just jumped from topic to topic without ever actually digging deeper into anything.
After he wrote in my chart that I was "tearful"—which happened because I finally opened up and cried during the session, telling him things I've never told anyone else—I was done. Then he noted that I seemed "neglected." Look, I showed up in decent clothes; sure, they might have been older, but they weren't torn, dirty, or smelling bad. My hair was just a bit oily and I wasn't wearing makeup. I came to the conclusion that if you're seeing Dr. G at a clinic like Sun, you basically have to be dressed head-to-toe in high fashion just to be taken seriously. Man, we were paying top dollar for those sessions, and it left me with barely anything left for clothes or other stuff.
Jason Vaughn482 said:Strange, isn't it? It makes you wonder if the whole battle is just happening inside our own heads. Personally, I'm taking about 3 to 4 grams of Xanax, though I recently switched over to Helex simply because it's more budget-friendly, and frankly, I can't tell a single bit of difference; to me, they are identical. I've never gone above three 0.5mg tablets, but lately, I've been trying to settle into a routine of just two, though some days are more unpredictable than others.
What if you tried cutting the pills in half? That's how I moved to taking four half-milligram doses a day... since I'm used to taking them four times daily, it's easier for me that way. 🙂
redtiger35 said:Hey everyone, I'm new here, though I've been lurking on the forum for a while now.
I’ve been dealing with mixed anxiety and depression, taking 15 mg of Elice and about 0.5 mg of Xanax daily "as needed" for maybe 3 or 4 months. I've already talked things through with my psychiatrist—we check in pretty often since I go to a private practice, which is tough on my budget, but honestly, she's a lifesaver so I just cut back on other stuff to make it work... anyway, she thinks the anxiety has cleared up significantly (!), but the depression hasn't budged. My appetite and sex drive have vanished too (which, honestly, works for me), and I can't even cry anymore. That's also super typical; I noticed it just a week after starting the AD—I feel like I need to cry, but nothing comes out, which was a huge shift from my old life where I'd be sobbing 3 or 4 times a week. BUT, that deep sadness, dissatisfaction, and total lack of interest in life are still right there. So, when we last spoke, my doctor suggested switching up my meds... and yeah, now I'm stressing.
Just to be clear, I'm not planning on following any advice from this forum; I have my own doctor and I trust her... but I've always appreciated hearing about people's experiences, and especially being able to vent like this since I don't really have anyone around me who gets it, let alone someone going through the exact same thing. 👋
How did you guys handle switching medications? How often do you actually end up changing things? And is it possible that Big Pharma is just playing us? Look, I know how wrong and ignorant it is to take depression lightly, but I definitely take my depression lightly. 😢 As soon as I feel even slightly better, I start blaming myself, or if I feel terrible, I blame myself then too... Like, I must be doing something wrong. I can't stop thinking that maybe depression is just made up and I'm just wrecking my body with all these pills for nothing. The truth is, Xanax is what pulled me out of that dark hole. For the Elice, I haven't noticed anything major over these three months, though I can't say it hasn't helped a bit with managing the anxiety. But the anxiety was never nearly as heavy as the depression was.
I'm terrified of new side effects from a different med, and everything else that comes with it... I originally wanted to stop the AD after six months, but now if we introduce something new, I'll probably be stuck on this stuff for a year or even longer... 😢 What has your experience been like, guys?
Look, if the old stuff wasn't doing the job, then the switch was a win. If it had been working perfectly, you wouldn't even be dealing with a change right now. You basically have to cycle through different options until you hit the one that actually clicks for you. Honestly, if you can't tell whether it's helping or not, then it probably isn't. You'll know deep down if you're feeling better or not.
I doubt it's some corporate conspiracy, because from what I gathered in your post, you said the med wasn't working for you—and your doctor didn't just swap it on a whim. Most doctors don't even do that. Once you find a therapy that actually works, they usually just tweak it—you know, adjusting the dosage up or down—but they won't ditch the actual medication if it’s already doing its job.
redtiger35 said:Thanks, that’s a solid way to look at it, and honestly, that’s exactly how my psychiatrist puts it too. 🙂 I tend to get really caught up in these extreme beliefs of mine, so I don't always see how I'm actually hurting myself; I used to be incredibly self-destructive, and even with other people—not physically, obviously, just through my attitude and how I interacted with everyone, I couldn't even hold a normal conversation.
Maybe that’s why I end up causing more harm without the meds than with them, but truthfully, I don't even dwell on whether the pills are damaging me anymore because I crossed that line a long time ago; I remember when my doctor wrote my first prescription and tried to gently explain why staying on them was so vital, I just sat there sobbing—that was basically how my first few sessions went—and told her, "Yeah, whatever, I'll take whatever you give me, just please make this feeling stop."
And then, the second I started feeling better, I started coming up with all these ridiculous excuses for why I was just "feeling a little down back then." 😢
I don't know, maybe I don't take my depression seriously enough because I just haven't had any real support from anyone around me, especially the tiny handful of people I actually opened up to. On one side, you have people who just assume "she probably needs those pills since she can't handle things" and they just look at me with pity, and on the other side, you have people who think I should have just toughed it out. I'm not quite sure which camp my parents fall into, but the reality is that I’m paying for my own psychiatrist with my own paycheck now; back in high school and college, they didn't even want to hear about it because they just didn't get it—and hey, I don't blame them, it's fine.
Look, Helex has kept me steady and still does, but as for Elice... well, I honestly can't tell if it's even helping me or not!
That's why I wanted to switch things up, and my doctor agrees that we should try something else if this isn't working for me.
Because I was also expecting the treatment to kind of "give me that extra push," as you put it, James Foster4. But it pushed me so hard that instead of being hysterically miserable, I've just become quietly miserable. 😕
And I'm pretty terrified of starting a new medication because I have no idea how I'll handle the potential side effects, plus during my "good moments," I just want to kick the habit after six months, stop taking the AD, and finally stand on my own two feet; I just don't want to be some permanent patient living under medical supervision, that's all. :P
Every drug comes with baggage, but the one that's right for you will definitely have fewer side effects than the ones that aren't. Usually, when starting something new, they start you on a tiny dose just to keep those side effects from hitting you like a truck.
An AD usually doesn't even start kicking in properly until about three months in, so I highly doubt you'd totally beat the depression in just another three. From what you've written, it sounds like it hasn't worked. And you said yourself you aren't feeling good, so why would you quit the therapy now?
Nobody here *wants* to be sick or popping pills, but we have to. Some of us take more, some take less. For some, it's a bullseye on the first try; for others, it takes ten attempts (just kidding, but you get it). Regardless, we're all putting in the work to get better.
It feels to me like you're looking at yourself as "weak for not beating depression," rather than seeing yourself as someone who is sick. Depression is a medical condition just like any other, and that's why it gets treated with meds. If you have strep throat and get a prescription for antibiotics, you don't just stop after the third pill; you finish the whole course. It's the same with depression. You don't just stop the second you feel a bit better; you wait a while and, most importantly, you do it in consultation with your doctor.
