Kate Ramos93
Newcomer
8 messages
joined Jun 2014
Hello everyone! 🙂 I’ve been reading this thread for a long time now, so I finally decided to register and share my own journey with you all. I'm checking in from Boston and sending my best to everyone here who is dealing with similar struggles 🙂
I am 24, turning 25 soon 😁. My first mental health issues started at age 20 when I began taking Apple due to severe depression triggered by a long-term breakup and some rough experiences at college... My diagnosis back then was F31.0—classic depression—and I was put on 50mg of Zoloft and 1mg of Xanax SR in the evening... I'm not sure why, but the Apple really hit the mark for me on the first try; with the Zoloft, I felt like I truly "woke up" and became functional again within my community, friend group, and family...
After that period of stability, my depression worsened. After about eight months on Zoloft, I stopped my medication after discussing it with my psychiatrist... I went several months without any psychotropic drugs, not even sedatives, but I started feeling increasingly strange. I wouldn't recognize myself in the mirror in the morning, and I became incredibly suspicious of everyone, including my own family. It was all an introduction to what would later crystallize into a formal diagnosis...
Time passed, and things just kept getting worse... Following the paranoia came auditory hallucinations and two suicide attempts, after which I was transferred to a psychiatric hospital and started on 2mg of Haldol (three times a day) along with Akineton...
I reacted very poorly to the first-generation antipsychotics I tried (Haldol, Moditen, Prazina, and Nozinan), so they were discontinued in short intervals...
The summer before last, I was prescribed Risset at 2 mg (1/2, 1/2, 1), totaling 4mg daily, alongside 50mg of Zoloft. Once again, I went into remission (I felt amazing, so after three months, I stopped the meds again) and ended up back in the hospital. There, they prescribed Zyprexa (olanzapine)—which, personally, has been a miracle for me. I felt a slight improvement after the first two weeks, and after four weeks, the voices vanished completely. And so... this past January, I stopped my treatment again and ended up hospitalized once more. That was when I promised myself, my family, and my doctor that I would stick to my medication strictly...
My current regimen is as follows:
Aripiprazol tabs 10mg (1,0,0)
Zyprexa tabs 10mg (0,0,1 and 1/2)
Calixta tabs 15mg (0,0,1)
Depakine chrono tabs 300mg (1,0,1)
Xanax tabs 0.5mg (0,1,0)
Nexium tabs 20mg (0,0,1) (because my stomach has been a mess from all the heavy pills)
I'm interested in hearing from anyone else on a similar antipsychotic regimen. I'd love to exchange experiences and just support one another in staying compliant with our treatments...🙂 Sometimes it's hard for me when I look in the mirror and see the weight gain from the Zyprexa, but on the other hand, I thank God that such a medicine exists because I don't know what I'd do without it. It manages my psychosis incredibly well, the Calixta helps me sleep soundly at night, and during the day, it clears away the tension and nervousness I used to feel...
My final diagnosis was established last year... it was initially diagnosed as F23.0 (acute psychotic disorder) two years ago, but after two relapses, it was finalized as F20.0 (paranoid schizophrenia).
To those of you who are "lucky" enough to only deal with neurosis and depression: please consider antipsychotics a last resort. They carry a heavy side-effect profile, and they should only be an option if you truly cannot function without them. Playing around with different antipsychotics can be quite uncomfortable and dangerous...😢
Unfortunately, I have to take them, and every single day feels like a new struggle... 😢