Resources and support for families dealing with cancer and serious illness

Hey everyone, it’s been a little while since I last checked in... I really hope you're all doing okay and keeping those positive vibes going. I actually have a quick question for the group—has anyone here tried Immunomax? If so, what was your experience like? You can actually buy the mushrooms used in the formula on their own, but I’ve always felt that sticking to the tablets is the way to go. It just seems much more reliable knowing you're getting the exact, optimal dosage every single time. Thanks!

Anonymous said:She’s got this tumor or maybe just a cyst that's pressing against her esophagus, so she hasn't even been able to eat normally; the doctor mentioned it might be benign, though he admitted the odds aren't exactly in our favor 😢 She's been stuck in the hospital for three days now, and honestly, I don't even know if she'll ever make it back home. I'm just terrified of what comes next; I really want everything to turn out okay so she can at least come home by Christmas and we can all ring in the New Year together like we usually do, but I'm not holding my breath...👎

It feels like everyone around me is just dying this year, and frankly, life just feels like a total mess right now.🙂

That initial period where you're just sitting there, trying to wrap your head around the fact that someone close to you is seriously ill, is incredibly brutal. You have to push through that shock before you can actually start fighting. No surrender!
One girl on here uses that exact handle. 👍
No surrender. 🙂

Anonymous said:She’s got a tumor or a cyst pressing against her esophagus, making it impossible for her to eat normally. The doctor mentioned it might be benign, but honestly, the odds aren't great. 😢 She’s been stuck in the hospital for three days now, and I have no idea if she’ll ever actually make it back home. I’m terrified of what’s coming next. I just want everything to turn out okay so we can at least be home together for Christmas and ring in the New Year the traditional way, but I know better than to count my blessings right now...👎

It feels like everyone around me is just dying this year. Life is a total nightmare, period.🙂

Just take a breath. Look, hearing something like that is absolutely gut-wrenching, but you have to maintain some level of positivity. Nothing is set in stone yet. Wait for the actual biopsy results—even if it turns out to be malignant, that doesn't mean it's an automatic loss. You can still fight it.

As for all this talk about death—people die constantly. It happens every single day. From the moment we're born, we're all on the same clock. We all have a limited amount of time on this earth. What actually matters is how we live that time and what we leave behind; that’s what separates people and makes some of us stronger than others. Don't let your own fear turn you selfish, spiraling because your Christmas or your New Year won't look the way you planned. Think about your mom for a second. She wants to come home, and having you spiral like this might actually do more harm than good for her spirit. Be her strength. Give her that positive energy so she has a fighting chance to get back to you. I believe you're a fighter, simply because you reached out here, and the people who show up here are the ones who are fighting.
Hang in there and keep talking to us. You'll have all the support we can give you right here.🙂

Thanks so much! Regarding Christmas and New Year's, it might sound a little weird, but in my 22 years, I’ve never actually celebrated them out on the town. The very first people I personally wish a happy holiday to are always my parents. It’s a tradition my mom instilled in me, and it’s one I plan on keeping alive, no matter what anyone else thinks about it...

Anonymous said:Thanks a million! Regarding Christmas and New Year's, it might sound a little strange, but in my 22 years, I've never celebrated them out on the town. The very first people I personally wish a happy holiday to are always my parents. It's a tradition my mom instilled in me, and it's one I plan to keep alive, no matter what anyone else thinks about it...

And you'll want to do it again, passing that legacy down to your own kids one day...👍
Look, you already know how much happiness those years spent with your parents brought you. Every family goes through their fair share of highs and lows, but the bottom line is staying together. You’ve been incredibly blessed to have that constant togetherness. So many people never get that luxury. Just stay mindful of that and be grateful for it, regardless of whatever life throws at you down the road.

Anonymous said:Thanks so much! Regarding Christmas and New Year's, it might sound a bit odd, but in my 22 years, I’ve never actually celebrated them out on the town; the first people I personally wish a happy holiday to are always my parents, which is a tradition my mom instilled in me and one I fully intend to keep, regardless of what anyone else thinks...

It doesn't sound odd at all. It's just a very specific time of year.🙂

When I found out my mom had cancer, I made two immediate decisions: no big plans—nothing beyond the absolute essentials—and absolutely no pestering her about a prognosis. Essentially, I was handed this incredibly difficult opportunity to actually experience and learn things that, until then, I had only ever read about in books.
Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming about doing this or that, and then I honestly scare myself, letting the emotions just wash over me. But there really isn't any time or energy to waste on shbbkbb. The situation is heavy. Despite everything, and perhaps precisely because of it, I have learned so, so much about myself and the people around me. Among other things, I've realized that if you let uncertainty and instability run wild, they will absolutely consume you. Through her illness, my mother has become one of my greatest teachers in life.
Not to mention she's still the one person who knows exactly how to get on my last nerve. 😁

First, my deepest condolences to everyone who has lost a loved one over these past few days (as much as I hate 😠 )
I see there are many new faces here—which I dislike even more.
Everything is just going wrong lately. 👎
My father didn't make it through the full course of therapy; he had to stop on day 30. It’s been 12 days since then, and things are only getting worse. Even though he's started eating again, he still lacks the strength to even turn over in bed, let alone sit up or get out. Then came the yellow stools and dark urine—a sign the liver isn't functioning properly. He developed a fever too (he wouldn't let us take his temperature, but we assume it's there because he's constantly hot and flushed in the face). Things have calmed down slightly, but the symptoms persist. To make matters worse, he's had diarrhea both last night and today. Mom says his last bowel movement today was a normal color—so perhaps there is still a tiny glimmer of hope...?🙏
As for the mental state issues, I am almost afraid to write about them—because everything being discussed by Angela Wright, Melissa Kim45, brightgardener8, and everyone else feels as if they were merely echoing our own experiences 👎
He is hurling such terrible insults and profanity from his mouth—things I have never heard in my entire life. He repeats the same sentence ten times over. He won't let anyone touch his legs or arms. He refuses to hear anything about doctors, tests, or results... He won't even listen to the idea of a home health aide or anything similar. He won't let anyone near him except for Mom, and she is already completely exhausted. He doesn't have the strength to shave, yet he won't allow anyone else to do it for him. He won't even let us wipe him with a damp cloth, to say nothing of washing or bathing.
Worst of all, he refuses fluids; when he does drink, he literally takes only half a sip at a time. He barely manages to get half a liter a day.

Unfortunately, we are all painfully aware that this was—or still is—his only chance at recovery, leaving us with nothing left but prayer.
But we are still hoping; we are still believing.
These days are just incredibly difficult for me...

Angela Wright said:My honest advice is just to get it done as soon as possible, because that total loss of independence tends to hit you out of nowhere, and more often than not, it's terminal—and once that happens, your nerves aren't even an issue anymore. I can’t help but think about how my parents spent years grumbling about fixing up the bathroom, always saying things like, "We're getting old," implying they wouldn't be able to hop in and out of a tub comfortably in a few years... and well, they missed the boat, honey. Every time we go to bathe Mom now, Dad just cries over his own procrastination. And now we're short on cash, too, and it's just impossible to deal with the mess, the workers, the chaos, and the dust for two weeks straight while she's this sick, on top of everything else...
See if there's any way you can pull it off right now.

I know you're absolutely right. You know how it is—you realize it, but it doesn't change a thing.😁
It's the same with my parents. I suppose we're all cut from the same cloth. I remember reading this incredible article ages ago—it wasn't even specifically about illness—about how one should prepare for old age (which includes the sickness and the helplessness that inevitably follows) and while we still have the strength, just handle certain things. Like, for instance, modifying the bathroom during the time when we aren't yet at the point where we can't simply step into a tub. None of us really give it a second thought until the moment we actually need it, and by then, the opportunity has passed.

Melissa Kim45 said:It doesn't sound weird at all. It’s just that specific time of year.🙂

When I first found out my mom had cancer, I made two immediate decisions: zero plans—aside from the absolute essentials—and absolutely no asking about prognosis. Honestly, it gave me this brutal, real-world opportunity to actually live through and understand things I’d previously only read about in books.
Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming about "what ifs" and "could haves," and then I scare myself straight, letting the emotions just swamp me. But there’s simply no time or energy left to waste on nonsense. This situation is heavy. Despite everything, and precisely because of it, I have learned so incredibly much about myself and the people around me. Most importantly, I learned that if you let uncertainty and instability run wild, they will absolutely devour you. Through her illness, my mother has become one of my greatest life teachers.
Not to mention, she’s still the one person who knows exactly how to push my buttons. 😁

Jesus Christ, you gave me chills... you’re basically articulating my own realizations and thoughts. If we’ve all arrived at the exact same conclusion, then it has to be the truth, and it has to be right.

northernfox9 said:Unfortunately, we all know this was likely his one shot at getting through this, or maybe it still is, so there isn't much left to do besides pray.
But we’re still holding on to hope, still believing.
Things have been feeling pretty heavy lately...

🙂
I suspect the impact of the diet won't really show itself until he's further along in the recovery process. It's obvious he's desperate, and honestly, seeing him go through this along with all of you is just heartbreaking. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you all find a way to get through this together.

northernfox9 said:I am having such a hard time lately...

Oh honey, you are in my thoughts and prayers. My God, life is just so strange and illogical sometimes... despite all my own suffering, I can see there are people out there going through things much worse than me😢.
Honestly, I don't even know what to tell you, other than trying to catch him during one of those five minutes where he actually acts normal. Use that window to ask him what he wants and how he wants to move forward—realistically. Ask if he wants to go somewhere else if he can't stand being around you or if you're getting on his nerves... you have to reach some kind of agreement while he still has a shred of sanity left. Think about your mother, too; you don't want her to end up sick from the stress. But please, try to push through and support your child just a little longer. It’s the illness talking, 100%

This too shall pass, you'll see🙂. Remember that phase I went through with my old man about six months ago? There was a moment where I just wanted it all to end. It was unbearable. It turned out in the end that he had a thyroid issue that was absolutely wrecking his mental state. He was completely erratic and aggressive. Once he got on the right medication, he went back to being the calm, steady guy he always was

northernfox9 said:First off, my heart goes out to everyone who has lost someone close to them over these last few days. I absolutely hate seeing this happen. 😠 )
I see there are a lot of new people around here (which honestly just makes me hate this place even more).
Things around here are just all over the place—nothing ever seems to go right. 👎
My dad couldn't finish his full course of treatment; he had to stop on day 30. It’s been 12 days since then, and things are honestly looking worse. Even though he’s finally started eating again, he still doesn't have the strength to even roll over in bed, let alone sit up or stand. Then things took a turn for the worse with yellow stools and dark urine—which is a huge red flag that his liver might be struggling. He also developed a fever; he wouldn't let us take his temperature, but we can tell because he’s constantly feeling hot and his face is flushed. Things seemed to settle down for a moment, but the symptoms haven't gone away. To make matters worse, he’s been dealing with diarrhea through last night and today. My mom mentioned that his last bowel movement today actually looked like a normal color, so maybe there's still a tiny glimmer of hope...🙏
I’m actually a little afraid to even write about mental health right now. Everything Angela Wright, Melissa Kim45, brightgardener8, and everyone else has been posting lately feels like they just took a page out of our book. 👎
He’s lashing out with the most horrific insults and profanity I’ve ever heard in my life. He just sits there, repeating the exact same sentence over and over again like a broken record. If you even try to touch his arm or his leg, he snaps. He completely shuts down whenever anyone mentions seeing a doctor, running tests, or looking at medical results. He won't hear a word about having a home health nurse or any kind of visiting caregiver come by. The only person he’ll allow near him is his mom, but she’s already absolutely exhausted and reaching her breaking point. He doesn't have the strength to even shave himself, yet he refuses to let anyone else step in to help. He won't even let us wipe him down with a wet cloth—don't even get me started on trying to help him wash or bathe.
It’s the worst part—they're refusing to drink anything, and even when they try, they can barely manage a tiny sip. They’re struggling to get even half a liter down in an entire day.

Unfortunately, we all know this was—or maybe still is—his one shot at making it through, so all we can really do now is pray.
But we’re still holding on to hope, and we still believe.
I’ve been having a really rough time lately...

I really feel for you and I truly get what you're going through. It’s not just this situation with your mom, either—I went through my own share of hell last year with my dad. He took a nasty fall and injured a bone in his back; it wasn't a broken spine or anything, but he was completely bedridden for two solid months. My mom had to do everything—feeding him, bathing him, getting him dressed... the list goes on. It breaks my heart remembering everything she endured, especially since instead of being grateful, he would just yell at her and curse at her. I know he was acting out because of the pain, but still, it just wasn't fair to her. And now, at a time when I most need someone to lean on and be my rock, I feel like I have nobody. My dad has always been a total sensitive soul and prone to unnecessary panic attacks, and lately, he’s acting like Mom is already a lost cause, which hurts me deeply. I spent the entire night in prayer, holding onto hope that things will improve for her. I talked to her a little while ago, and she said she slept well, didn't cough too much, and is feeling just a tiny bit better. As long as there is life, there is hope; you just have to keep the faith. If I can offer some advice, try to find a way to bridge the gap with your dad. If you have to, meet him where he is. For instance, if he starts venting about the doctors, even if you disagree with him, just nod and go along with it. It might be the only way to actually reach his heart. Try talking to him about your childhood or those old shared memories. Don't be afraid to gently remind him of times he was tough on you or how much you looked up to him back then. It might show him that you still need him, and honestly, it might surprise you with a reaction that's totally different from how he usually acts.

Hey everyone!
After three attempts and 17 days of delays, Mom finally got the green light today to jump back into chemo. We’ve been struggling with her blood counts; nothing seemed to be moving the needle. We decided to give Beta glucan a shot, and honestly, it looks like it's actually working. So, we start the third cycle tomorrow... I know the nausea and vomiting are going to hit hard, but that's just for five days.
Regarding the adult diapers—for those of you who've dealt with this, how long does it actually take to get everything approved once you submit the request to the primary care doctor? Are we talking days, weeks, or months...? We aren't quite at that stage yet, but I refuse to just leave things to chance. A friend of mine whose grandmother has Alzheimer's mentioned they were waiting for months (?!).

Wickedangel, Christian Wood63, Apple22, Bednkacin... how are you guys doing?

brightgardener8 said:Hey everyone!
After three failed attempts and being pushed back for 17 days, Mom finally got the green light today to resume chemo. We were struggling with her blood counts; nothing seemed to move the needle. We decided to try Beta glucan, and honestly, it looks like it’s actually working. So, we start the third cycle tomorrow... I know the nausea and vomiting are going to hit hard, but that's only for five days.
Regarding the incontinence supplies—for those of you who have been through this, how long does it actually take to get everything approved once you submit the request from the primary care doctor? Are we talking days, weeks, months...? We aren't at that stage yet, but I refuse to just leave things to chance. A friend whose grandmother has Alzheimer's mentioned they waited months (?!).

Wickedangel, Christian Wood63, Apple22, Bednkacin... how are you all holding up?

About ten days, total.

Because his condition has taken such a sudden, aggressive turn, the doctors have recommended a specific course of radiation therapy. The tumor has completely obstructed his left bronchus, which means air isn't reaching that lung at all anymore, and we’re seeing signs that it might start affecting the right side too—we're genuinely worried about him suffocating. His tumor markers have spiked quite drastically. I feel so helpless, just wishing there was something we could do to slightly clear that blockage just so he can catch his breath. He’s currently taking medication to control the bleeding since he’s coughing up blood-tinged mucus, and we've even had to resort to Xanax to help manage everything. We are just waiting anxiously to get a scheduled date for the radiation sessions...

Carol Ramirez said:Because the disease progressed so suddenly, they suggested radiation therapy. A tumor has completely blocked off his left bronchus, so air can't get into that lung at all, and there are signs it's spreading toward the right side, which means he's at risk of suffocating. His markers have gone through the roof. I honestly have no clue how to "unclog" him just enough so he can catch a breath. He’s taking pills to stop the bleeding because he’s coughing up bloody mucus, and we’ve already had to resort to Xanax. We’re just praying we get a date for the radiation soon...

😢 😠
Hopefully, the tumor shrinks enough that they can finally perform surgery. It's absolutely terrifying how fast this took a turn😲

He ended up catching that foolish bout of pneumonia because he just wasn't being careful enough. Now everything has flared up again, and my main concern is preventing any metastases from spreading elsewhere. He’s showing a little bit of renewed spirit lately—placing his hopes in this upcoming radiation treatment—but at the same time, he’s constantly drowsy from the Benzedin, and occasionally he’ll say something that is completely nonsensical. He isn't drinking much fluid; I was actually just mentioning this to Linda Campbell earlier. Right now, I'm trying to nudge him toward some tomato juice to help replenish his potassium, especially since he takes Lasix every other day to manage dehydration (he only has one kidney). I have to be extremely cautious about giving him potassium chloride supplements; given that he already takes a handful of medications three times a day, I’d much rather try to manage it naturally through his diet. As for the bleeding, it has stopped thanks to the Dicynona tablets, which I’ve actually paused for now, though I'll restart them if the bleeding returns. My biggest headache right now is the Lopion (Molicor) tablets, which have been discontinued. They carry them under the name Corvatol in North Mexico, but none of the 500 pharmacies around here seem willing to import them.
An auntie at the pharmacy where I usually pick up all his medications and various sundries pointed out that they carry Sitaki Lecithin capsules, which are supposedly excellent for boosting the immune system. Does anyone have any experience with those?

Hey everyone!
First off, I just wanted to say a huge thank you to all of you. The advice you’ve shared has truly made life so much easier for both me and my husband. Sadly, he passed away on October 17th. I can't thank you all enough once again, and I'm praying that God gives you all plenty of strength, and that your loved ones facing illness find as little pain as possible.

mistyranger4 said:My dear friends!
First off, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone here. Your advice has truly made life so much easier for both me and my husband. Sadly, he passed away on October 17th. Once again, a huge thank you to all of you; I pray that God gives you all strength, and may your loved ones find relief from their pain!

I am so incredibly sorry; my heart truly goes out to you.😢
Your husband passed away happy because he had such a strong, selfless, devoted, and loving woman by his side. You should be so proud of the person you are and the marriage you shared. That kind of bond is a rarity these days.
I know how devastating this is, but please realize that your journey hasn't ended—it’s just shifting directions. You will always feel his hand on your shoulder. For now, let your soul and body rest. Let the tears flow; let them wash away the pain so you can eventually find peace. You are going to be okay.🙂

mistyranger4 said:Hi everyone!
First off, I just wanted to say thank you to all of you for the advice you've shared; it really made things a little easier for both me and my husband. Sadly, he passed away on October 17th. I want to thank you all once again from the bottom of my heart, and I pray that God gives you plenty of strength, and hopefully, less pain for your loved ones who are suffering.

Please accept my deepest condolences. 🙂