Schizophrenia - General Discussion

Angela Stewart6 said:Look, whether it’s a girl or a woman—since I don't know your age—she’ll likely show up if you truly need her and if that's where your heart is headed. That kind of connection just happens naturally, you know? Honestly, I’ve moved past being interested in that area of life myself, though I’ll admit there are those occasional moments where things feel... well, let's just say "interesting." But regardless, I’ve chosen this path, and I’m perfectly content with it. As for those fears you mentioned—for quite a while now, I’ve barely stepped foot outside, except for quick trips to the local CVS or maybe just hanging out in my backyard 🙂. It’s something that gradually tapered off as I learned how to actually manage it. My social life is also fading away more and more, though I’m not entirely sure if it will vanish completely. Still, that’s just one of the realities of dealing with our condition. But if I could offer one bit of advice: fear can actually be a good thing, provided it stays within certain limits.

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I think I see what you were getting at there.

Jose Ward4 said:I'm alright. Just feeling lonely, really. I miss having a girlfriend. Just having someone there by my side... that's what's missing for me. To just feel that love. To kiss someone and all that 🙂. Maybe the weather just hit me weird today. It feels like early spring out there. Perfect weather to go grab a coffee with someone. Regarding what you said about psychosis—yeah, I agree. And when I have to take my meds, I have to. If I don't, I just don't feel right 😢. Do you deal with those fears too? It's like this illness is practically designed for them. Sometimes I get this intense sensation, like someone is actually going to jump out and attack me outside. But then I walk past someone and everything turns out totally fine. Everything looks normal, and I find myself thinking, "Okay, the world is a normal place." But why can't that feeling just stay? That's what bugs me—how it happens all over again. It's like I can't learn that nobody is actually out to get me. Like I'm constantly on edge. Or maybe it's just a side effect from the pills we take. I didn't used to feel this way. Before, I just felt anxious. Even before the first psychotic episodes started, I knew what was happening. Real versus unreal... you can't really connect the dots when you're in it. But that was a long time ago.

Man, I wish I could help you out, but I haven't exactly mastered the art of dating myself 😁

All joking aside, I’m becoming increasingly convinced that the idea of a lasting relationship between someone struggling with mental illness and someone who is neurotypical is mostly just a myth.

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The connection between Toxoplasma gondii and Schizophrenia: https://wwwnc.cdc.gov/eid/article/9/11/03-0143_article

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/schizophrenia/symptoms-causes

If God wills it, I shall be visiting an individual suffering from Schizophrenia tomorrow. Despite being on a heavy regimen of medication, he continues to experience intermittent hallucinations. When my aunt visited him recently—and there was also a rather loquacious neighbor present—he claimed that the news reported they were coming to catch him, or perhaps that they were simply waiting for the moment to apprehend him.

So... God willed it, and I went to visit him. Our conversation was quite pleasant, staying very low-key and easygoing. However, about five or ten minutes before I was set to leave, an older female relative of his walked in—a woman with a truly gentle temperament, a real phlegmatic soul. She immediately asked how he was doing and remarked that he didn't look particularly well. At one point, he mentioned that she keeps throwing things at him, claiming he has an illegitimate child who is four or five years old, even though he insists this simply isn't true; he doesn't have any children at all.

Then, in her soft, mild voice, she told him that he shouldn't believe everything he hears, suggesting that we aren't angry with him because we understand he is ill, but urging him to trust us rather than his own perceptions.

The issue, on top of everything else, is that his mother is an uneducated woman. She told him he needs to learn how to behave in front of guests, despite the fact that he hasn't done anything to harm us. She suggested he should just go to his room if he intends to "act out," stating plainly that she can no longer tolerate him acting this way.

She also claimed that he is connecting everything incorrectly, mentioning how he recently accused her of calling 911 to have him taken to jail, when in reality, paramedics don't take people to jail, they take them to the hospital.

He takes nine different medications in the evening and seven in the morning. Among that massive list of pills, he also takes one specifically for his heart.

Consequently, I am deeply afraid that he might one day actually lapse into a coma or suffer from dangerously low blood pressure due to the combination of those antipsychotics and his heart medication.

It seems to me that he might actually be willing to talk to me about his illness and his medications; but is it possible that he simply cannot do so because of his mother?

My heart breaks for him, truly, because he is only 45 years old, yet he faces another 20 or 30 years—or however many years he has left—of living with this condition.

Nicole Barrett76 said:So... God willed it, and I went to visit him. Our conversation was quite pleasant, staying very low-key and easygoing. However, about five or ten minutes before I was set to leave, an older female relative of his walked in—a woman with a truly gentle temperament, a real phlegmatic soul. She immediately asked how he was doing and remarked that he didn't look particularly well. At one point, he mentioned that she keeps throwing things at him, claiming he has an illegitimate child who is four or five years old, even though he insists this simply isn't true; he doesn't have any children at all.

Then, in her soft, mild voice, she told him that he shouldn't believe everything he hears, suggesting that we aren't angry with him because we understand he is ill, but urging him to trust us rather than his own perceptions.

The issue, on top of everything else, is that his mother is an uneducated woman. She told him he needs to learn how to behave in front of guests, despite the fact that he hasn't done anything to harm us. She suggested he should just go to his room if he intends to "act out," stating plainly that she can no longer tolerate him acting this way.

She also claimed that he is connecting everything incorrectly, mentioning how he recently accused her of calling 911 to have him taken to jail, when in reality, paramedics don't take people to jail, they take them to the hospital.

He takes nine different medications in the evening and seven in the morning. Among that massive list of pills, he also takes one specifically for his heart.

Consequently, I am deeply afraid that he might one day actually lapse into a coma or suffer from dangerously low blood pressure due to the combination of those antipsychotics and his heart medication.

It seems to me that he might actually be willing to talk to me about his illness and his medications; but is it possible that he simply cannot do so because of his mother?

My heart breaks for him, truly, because he is only 45 years old, yet he faces another 20 or 30 years—or however many years he has left—of living with this condition.

It’s a tough subject to tackle. Unfortunately, there are so many people out there who struggle to function or just can't find their footing in society. Often, those individuals end up stuck in environments that only serve to fuel their struggles rather than helping them heal.

I've been feeling pretty low lately, honestly—just a heavy sense of melancholy hanging over me. Nothing really seems to spark any joy, and I find myself just wanting to stay curled up in bed all day. It doesn't help that I don't have much of a social circle to lean on right now; it feels like this cycle where depression and loneliness just feed into one another.

Harold Anderson3 said:Man, I wish I could help you out, but I haven't exactly mastered the art of dating myself 😁

All joking aside, I’m becoming increasingly convinced that the idea of a lasting relationship between someone struggling with mental illness and someone who is neurotypical is mostly just a myth.

I don't know about that. Honestly, it really just comes down to the individual. In my experience, I started dating my girlfriend back in 2008, and she was on medication. To be fair, I wasn't sure how she'd take it when I finally opened up to her, but she handled it beautifully. That gave me so much confidence—really helped me find my footing with women in general. Women can be incredible. She didn't even realize I was on meds for the first month we were together, and once I told her, her reaction was nothing but positive. That said, I definitely couldn't handle being with someone who is completely unstable or totally spiraling because of their pills. That's a nightmare scenario for me. But that's just how it is.

Anyway, how are you doing? What's going on with you? Anything new?

Harold Anderson3 said:It’s a tough subject to tackle. Unfortunately, there are so many people out there who struggle to function or just can't find their footing in society. Often, those individuals end up stuck in environments that only serve to fuel their struggles rather than helping them heal.

I've been feeling pretty low lately, honestly—just a heavy sense of melancholy hanging over me. Nothing really seems to spark any joy, and I find myself just wanting to stay curled up in bed all day. It doesn't help that I don't have much of a social circle to lean on right now; it feels like this cycle where depression and loneliness just feed into one another.

To offer some defense for his mother, I feel compelled to mention that he has endured this illness and these hallucinations several times a day for twenty-five years now, even though he is forty-five. While he undoubtedly bears the heaviest weight of this struggle, can we truly say it isn't equally difficult for her?

Has anyone here ever attempted to mitigate such symptoms by consuming high doses of B-complex vitamins? I am aware that Linus Pauling and institutions in Saskatchewan conducted combined psychiatric and nutritional studies specifically aimed at easing symptoms, lowering antipsychotic dosages, and reducing the harsh side effects associated with those medications.

There is perhaps a small silver lining; despite his delusions regarding people shouting at him or reading his thoughts, his speech remains coherent, albeit perhaps slightly slowed by the sheer volume of medication he requires. However, from what I can observe—and I realize I am only seeing a fraction of the picture—there is a strange discoloration in his skin tone. Is it possible that the medication is placing a significant strain on his liver?

Jose Ward4 said:I don't know about that. Honestly, it really just comes down to the individual. In my experience, I started dating my girlfriend back in 2008, and she was on medication. To be fair, I wasn't sure how she'd take it when I finally opened up to her, but she handled it beautifully. That gave me so much confidence—really helped me find my footing with women in general. Women can be incredible. She didn't even realize I was on meds for the first month we were together, and once I told her, her reaction was nothing but positive. That said, I definitely couldn't handle being with someone who is completely unstable or totally spiraling because of their pills. That's a nightmare scenario for me. But that's just how it is.

Anyway, how are you doing? What's going on with you? Anything new?

So, what actually happened? Why did you guys break up?
It isn't the fact that I'm taking medication that bothers me so much, but rather how difficult it is to function while on them. I honestly feel a bit disgusted with myself sometimes because of how much I sleep... It feels almost like I'm retreating into slumber to escape real-world problems. Then there are those times when I sleep far too little, and I know that's a sign I'm sliding toward a psychotic state.
As for my relationship, I had a girlfriend last year... and I just don't want anyone else to suffer because of me the way she did. Everything started out fine and she was so encouraging, but eventually, she just became exhausted and started falling apart under the pressure.
On top of that, like anyone else, I just want a normal social life instead of living like a total hermit. We aren't bees or ants, but we aren't solitary wild animals either.
I'm not trying to vent here—I know most people tend to steer clear of this topic—but truthfully, I am struggling. I just want this hardship to end, one way or another.

Harold Anderson3 said:So, what actually happened? Why did you guys break up?
It isn't the fact that I'm taking medication that bothers me so much, but rather how difficult it is to function while on them. I honestly feel a bit disgusted with myself sometimes because of how much I sleep... It feels almost like I'm retreating into slumber to escape real-world problems. Then there are those times when I sleep far too little, and I know that's a sign I'm sliding toward a psychotic state.
As for my relationship, I had a girlfriend last year... and I just don't want anyone else to suffer because of me the way she did. Everything started out fine and she was so encouraging, but eventually, she just became exhausted and started falling apart under the pressure.
On top of that, like anyone else, I just want a normal social life instead of living like a total hermit. We aren't bees or ants, but we aren't solitary wild animals either.
I'm not trying to vent here—I know most people tend to steer clear of this topic—but truthfully, I am struggling. I just want this hardship to end, one way or another.

Unfortunately, we still don't have a "silver bullet" medication for Schizophrenia. You basically have to accept that mood swings and occasional psychotic episodes are part of the territory because of the nature of the illness. There isn't a pill out there that can completely wipe out the symptoms without making you feel like a walking zombie. That's why treatment has to be a constant process of fine-tuning based on how you're feeling. It's really just a matter of choosing the lesser of two evils.

I wouldn't say I've hijacked this thread entirely, but it certainly feels like I’ve taken up most of the space here lately.
This condition is just so incredibly unpredictable; I've been dealing with it for nearly eight years now.
It’s a constant, exhausting cycle where I find myself swinging between these manic, psychotic episodes and periods of deep, heavy depression. It’s been eight years of this, though if you count the two years I spent treating bipolar disorder and depression before that, it's been a much longer road.
If you haven't personally experienced psychosis—whether it's stemming from schizophrenia or bipolar disorder—it’s hard to truly grasp how difficult it is to maintain any semblance of a normal life while fighting this.
But honestly, there isn't really any other choice; you just have to keep fighting, keep pushing back, and keep hanging in there for as long as you can.👍

Harold Anderson3 said:I wouldn't say I've hijacked this thread entirely, but it certainly feels like I’ve taken up most of the space here lately.
This condition is just so incredibly unpredictable; I've been dealing with it for nearly eight years now.
It’s a constant, exhausting cycle where I find myself swinging between these manic, psychotic episodes and periods of deep, heavy depression. It’s been eight years of this, though if you count the two years I spent treating bipolar disorder and depression before that, it's been a much longer road.
If you haven't personally experienced psychosis—whether it's stemming from schizophrenia or bipolar disorder—it’s hard to truly grasp how difficult it is to maintain any semblance of a normal life while fighting this.
But honestly, there isn't really any other choice; you just have to keep fighting, keep pushing back, and keep hanging in there for as long as you can.👍

At the end of the day, that's just the reality of it... and yeah, I know it's incredibly hard. 🙂

thanks so much 🙂 😉

Harold Anderson3 said:I wouldn't say I've hijacked this thread entirely, but it certainly feels like I’ve taken up most of the space here lately.
This condition is just so incredibly unpredictable; I've been dealing with it for nearly eight years now.
It’s a constant, exhausting cycle where I find myself swinging between these manic, psychotic episodes and periods of deep, heavy depression. It’s been eight years of this, though if you count the two years I spent treating bipolar disorder and depression before that, it's been a much longer road.
If you haven't personally experienced psychosis—whether it's stemming from schizophrenia or bipolar disorder—it’s hard to truly grasp how difficult it is to maintain any semblance of a normal life while fighting this.
But honestly, there isn't really any other choice; you just have to keep fighting, keep pushing back, and keep hanging in there for as long as you can.👍

What do those phases of mania, depression, and psychosis actually look like for you?

Jeffrey Ramos4 said:What do those phases of mania, depression, and psychosis actually look like for you?

Hmm, let me try to put it into words... when I'm leaning into a psychotic state, I actually tend to be in a pretty good mood and find myself being quite social, though my thoughts start racing so fast that I sometimes lose my grip on reality and end up voicing ideas about myself, the people around me, or just the world at large that simply aren't true. When the depression hits, honestly, it’s pretty bleak; it feels like you have to practically pull words out of me just to hold a basic conversation. I tend to retreat into sleep, often passing out for twelve hours or more at a stretch. The depressive stretches always seem to last much longer than the manic or psychotic ones, and from my perspective, they feel like they go on forever. That's about it, I suppose.🍿

Hello everyone,
So, after my first official evaluation at the Mayo Clinic psychiatry department in San Francisco, the psychiatrist gave me an F20.6 diagnosis (simple Schizophrenia). Previously, I was being treated for depression by a private practitioner.
Anyway, this happened just two days ago, and I am still in shock. I called my former doctor, and she told me it was impossible—that someone with my level of education couldn't have this. For context, I hold a Master’s degree and am currently finishing a second Master’s in Physics.
After receiving the diagnosis, I did some reading online and was left... well, frankly, horrified. I'm scared. I truly believe I don't have this, but how can I know for certain? Can anyone help me make sense of this?
My symptoms are... I hate talking about this, and I don't speak much except with close contacts. I have my family and two other people I stay in touch with. I am not social at all; leaving the house is regularly a struggle and feels like an immense effort. On top of that, I have no appetite; I force myself to eat only when I'm starving, and I don't care what I eat. I lack desire and ambition; I feel empty inside most of the time, occasionally sad, but mostly just exhausted and listless. As for whether I am emotionally numb, I don't know... I cycle between periods of high sensitivity and being extremely suppressed, where I feel nothing but emptiness. I am frightened. I know that what I am going through isn't normal; I can feel that something is wrong with me, I just don't know what or why. It’s just terrible, and I want it to stop.
Everything is becoming harder, even going to university, though I love science. I’d much rather do everything from home. I often think about just giving up and staying in bed. Sometimes, when I have no obligations, I spend days on end just sleeping. About a month ago, I reconnected with a guy I've known for a long time, and we've started talking again. I think it’s helping me; we talk, and I actually feel something for him, which I think are good signs. My biggest struggle is my isolation from the world. I try to integrate more, but people often perceive me as unapproachable, so even at school, I usually end up alone.
I feel like I'm suffocating. It's been going on for a while now; there hasn't been a sustained better period, just slightly better days than the bad ones. Every day, I just hope it will be one of those better days.
I haven't really opened up to this guy yet. If only he knew... I think he knows me well since we were close friends in the past, but again, it’s all just too much for me right now.

Since I’m living with schizophrenia, I have to convince myself that it isn't quite as terrifying as it seems and that a normal life is still possible. But honestly, throwing that diagnosis around at people who don't actually have it is just wrong. 😕
Would you mind sharing what kind of medications you've been prescribed?
It feels completely surreal to me that a psychiatrist would hand out a diagnosis like that to someone who hasn't even been hospitalized twice. Usually, you don't just get labeled with schizophrenia on your first go, no matter how intense a psychotic episode might be. And if there wasn't even a psychotic episode to begin with... 😕
I'm feeling just as confused by this as you are.

Harold Anderson3 said:Since I’m living with schizophrenia, I have to convince myself that it isn't quite as terrifying as it seems and that a normal life is still possible. But honestly, throwing that diagnosis around at people who don't actually have it is just wrong. 😕
Would you mind sharing what kind of medications you've been prescribed?
It feels completely surreal to me that a psychiatrist would hand out a diagnosis like that to someone who hasn't even been hospitalized twice. Usually, you don't just get labeled with schizophrenia on your first go, no matter how intense a psychotic episode might be. And if there wasn't even a psychotic episode to begin with... 😕
I'm feeling just as confused by this as you are.

Okay, here is the situation... I've been battling some pretty nasty depression for years. There were phases where things felt better, and other times when I completely bottomed out. I've tried various antidepressants to no avail; they didn't help at all, and all they did was cause intense side effects like vomiting, nausea, and dizziness.

I've also had these inexplicable episodes—I'm not even sure what to call them—where I probably should have been admitted to a hospital, though I managed to avoid that. My mother is very supportive, and I have Klonopin on hand to knock me out if an episode hits, which usually leads to sleeping for long stretches. After those episodes, I'm so exhausted that I end up sleeping for weeks.

After years of unsuccessful treatment with a private psychiatrist, she decided to prescribe Eglonil syrup. I've been taking it for a while now and I'm doing okay; I don't know if it's actually working, but for the first time, I'm not dealing with side effects.

So, since the private treatment wasn't working, she referred me to JPMorgan Chase, where I received my actual diagnosis. I still have to complete some testing they signed me up for.

I'm scared of everything. Honestly, I'd rather not go at all; I feel like it might all just be for nothing.

Rebecca Rivera3 said:Okay, here is the situation... I've been battling some pretty nasty depression for years. There were phases where things felt better, and other times when I completely bottomed out. I've tried various antidepressants to no avail; they didn't help at all, and all they did was cause intense side effects like vomiting, nausea, and dizziness.

I've also had these inexplicable episodes—I'm not even sure what to call them—where I probably should have been admitted to a hospital, though I managed to avoid that. My mother is very supportive, and I have Klonopin on hand to knock me out if an episode hits, which usually leads to sleeping for long stretches. After those episodes, I'm so exhausted that I end up sleeping for weeks.

After years of unsuccessful treatment with a private psychiatrist, she decided to prescribe Eglonil syrup. I've been taking it for a while now and I'm doing okay; I don't know if it's actually working, but for the first time, I'm not dealing with side effects.

So, since the private treatment wasn't working, she referred me to JPMorgan Chase, where I received my actual diagnosis. I still have to complete some testing they signed me up for.

I'm scared of everything. Honestly, I'd rather not go at all; I feel like it might all just be for nothing.

I honestly don't know what I could possibly recommend to you, since I'm certainly no doctor and this forum isn't really meant for handing out medical diagnoses.
If I were you, though, I'd just ask that physician why they prescribed it in the first place.
I haven't personally run into any bad doctors lately, but at the end of the day, they aren't infallible and they can definitely make mistakes.

Harold Anderson3 said:I honestly don't know what I could possibly recommend to you, since I'm certainly no doctor and this forum isn't really meant for handing out medical diagnoses.
If I were you, though, I'd just ask that physician why they prescribed it in the first place.
I haven't personally run into any bad doctors lately, but at the end of the day, they aren't infallible and they can definitely make mistakes.

I wasn't looking for a diagnosis; I'm just trying to make sense of everything happening to me that I don't understand.
When I questioned him, he said it was his professional opinion and that he stands by it. I believe he might be wrong—anyone can be—but how can I actually know if he made a mistake? I can't. I suspect he's wrong, and while I can choose what to believe, I still know I'm not okay and I don't know why. I just want it all to stop. I'm exhausted; this has gone on far too long. I know I need help, even if I don't want it. I just want this to disappear, like waking up from a bad dream.