Schizophrenia - General Discussion

Joseph Bailey41 said:If you actually had one, you wouldn't be wasting your time on this forum. 😛

Oh, please. I've got an even better question for you. Where would you be soaking up the sun right now? Because where I am, it’s definitely not happening.

Jose Ward4 said:Oh, please. I've got an even better question for you. Where would you be soaking up the sun right now? Because where I am, it’s definitely not happening.

Probably Madagascar. I've heard they have penguins there. 🎉

Joseph Bailey41 said:Probably Madagascar. I've heard they have penguins there. 🎉

Are you a fan of penguins?

Mhm. They're pretty funny. 😁

Joseph Bailey41 said:Cute. Do you actually speak Russian? 😬

I actually studied Russian back in elementary and high school, then switched things up and focused on English once I got to college. 😁

bluejackal2 said:I actually studied Russian back in elementary and high school, then switched things up and focused on English once I got to college. 😁

That’s awesome. Did you ever try to charm people using that accent? It used to be such a huge thing. Usually, I’d just lean into the bit and pretend I was some nuclear physicist or the daughter of an alien hunter—something totally ridiculous. 🕺

Joseph Bailey41 said:That’s awesome. Did you ever try to charm people using that accent? It used to be such a huge thing. Usually, I’d just lean into the bit and pretend I was some nuclear physicist or the daughter of an alien hunter—something totally ridiculous. 🕺

You're really into those adventurous types, aren't you? Am I reading you right?

Jose Ward4 said:You're really into those adventurous types, aren't you? Am I reading you right?

Yeah, I guess that's what happens when you grow up watching Indiana Jones. 🕺

But I really should stop acting so silly—I'm getting too old for this. 😬

Joseph Bailey41 said:That’s awesome. Did you ever try to charm people using that accent? It used to be such a huge thing. Usually, I’d just lean into the bit and pretend I was some nuclear physicist or the daughter of an alien hunter—something totally ridiculous. 🕺

I haven't, honestly. If I were a bit younger, I think I'd actually have a blast doing that, but at my age, people would probably just assume I'm losing my mind. 😬

bluejackal2 said:I haven't, honestly. If I were a bit younger, I think I'd actually have a blast doing that, but at my age, people would probably just assume I'm losing my mind. 😬

I guess that’s why they say you have to be careful about losing your mind too early in life.🙂

Joseph Bailey41 said:Yeah, I guess that's what happens when you grow up watching Indiana Jones. 🕺

But I really should stop acting so silly—I'm getting too old for this. 😬

Oh, stop it. You aren't old. You're actually in your prime.

Back then, I thought Jay-Z was some kind of alien. I have no idea where that came from—I just went full-on religious for a minute there. I even convinced myself I was actually from the future. It didn’t stick, though; those weren't long-term convictions, just weird, passing flashes. What *did* stick was this idea that I was a child of God—purely metaphorically, mind you, since we’re all technically that—but honestly, believing that, along with the whole "time traveler" thing, nearly cost me my life.

Man, the morphine really had me spinning through all sorts of delusions back then.

It’s honestly such a mind-f*** dealing with this illness because my intelligence stays completely intact regardless of what’s happening physically. It's like, if you take that away from me too, then everyone can finally see that something is actually wrong, instead of people just assuming I'm perfectly fine because they see I'm sharper than most of them.

bluejackal2 said:It’s honestly such a mind-f*** dealing with this illness because my intelligence stays completely intact regardless of what’s happening physically. It's like, if you take that away from me too, then everyone can finally see that something is actually wrong, instead of people just assuming I'm perfectly fine because they see I'm sharper than most of them.

Believe me when I say that life is infinitely, vastly more beautiful when one possesses intelligence than when they do not. Unfortunately for me, mine sits somewhere around the 90 or 95 mark—just slightly below the national average. I attempt to mask this deficiency through extensive reading and a decent level of education.

But isn't it true that to truly survive in this brutal, predatory world, one requires an IQ of at least 110?

Nicole Barrett76 said:Believe me when I say that life is infinitely, vastly more beautiful when one possesses intelligence than when they do not. Unfortunately for me, mine sits somewhere around the 90 or 95 mark—just slightly below the national average. I attempt to mask this deficiency through extensive reading and a decent level of education.

But isn't it true that to truly survive in this brutal, predatory world, one requires an IQ of at least 110?

Man, we were out grabbing a few drinks yesterday and I ended up getting totally grilled by some guy I went to elementary school with. He starts attacking me about how it's such a waste that I'm not working, especially since I finished that brutal engineering degree, and that I could be tapping into European Union grants and all sorts of other nonsense. I’m trying to explain to him how antipsychotics basically turned me into this emotionally numb shell of a person along with my illness, and why I wouldn't even want a job anyway since I'm retired and dealing with my veteran disability benefits and zero remaining work capacity, etc., etc., but he just doesn't get it. See, his business was struggling, so his neighbor—who's a vet himself—convinced him to just retire based on PTSD claims, so he listened, played the "crazy" card, got his pension, but since he didn't qualify for the specific veteran disability status, he's now trying to hunt it down because of this new law. The guy is healthy as a horse, doesn't take any meds, and now he thinks I'm just faking my mental health issues to get a check, like we're all cut from the same cloth. It's easier for him to shove that logic up my ass than to actually wrap his head around it, and it's not even the first time he's been riding me about working just because "it's a waste of a degree." No wonder people get pissed at us veterans when there are folks like him around. Look, I've got an IQ north of 110, but frankly, I don't give a damn about that. I just want peace, quiet, and for nobody to mess with me using their weird fixed ideas about what I should be doing. People should just live their own lives and stop trying to manage mine; I'm not asking anyone for advice or help.

bluejackal2 said:Man, we were out grabbing a few drinks yesterday and I ended up getting totally grilled by some guy I went to elementary school with. He starts attacking me about how it's such a waste that I'm not working, especially since I finished that brutal engineering degree, and that I could be tapping into European Union grants and all sorts of other nonsense. I’m trying to explain to him how antipsychotics basically turned me into this emotionally numb shell of a person along with my illness, and why I wouldn't even want a job anyway since I'm retired and dealing with my veteran disability benefits and zero remaining work capacity, etc., etc., but he just doesn't get it. See, his business was struggling, so his neighbor—who's a vet himself—convinced him to just retire based on PTSD claims, so he listened, played the "crazy" card, got his pension, but since he didn't qualify for the specific veteran disability status, he's now trying to hunt it down because of this new law. The guy is healthy as a horse, doesn't take any meds, and now he thinks I'm just faking my mental health issues to get a check, like we're all cut from the same cloth. It's easier for him to shove that logic up my ass than to actually wrap his head around it, and it's not even the first time he's been riding me about working just because "it's a waste of a degree." No wonder people get pissed at us veterans when there are folks like him around. Look, I've got an IQ north of 110, but frankly, I don't give a damn about that. I just want peace, quiet, and for nobody to mess with me using their weird fixed ideas about what I should be doing. People should just live their own lives and stop trying to manage mine; I'm not asking anyone for advice or help.

Did you finish college before or after your diagnosis? I fell ill during my freshman year, and I was also studying electrical engineering. I didn't end up finishing.

Harold Anderson3 said:Did you finish college before or after your diagnosis? I fell ill during my freshman year, and I was also studying electrical engineering. I didn't end up finishing.

I finished my degree back in 1988, then started seeing someone at the VA hospital in 1996 following the war, and finally received the schizophrenia diagnosis in 2000.

Aha.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I think your friend is just looking for an easy way out; pretending to have PTSD just to secure a pension feels... well, a bit cowardly, if you ask me.
I've been dealing with schizophrenia since 2009, and I fought tooth and nail to finish my degree, though I didn't quite make it, and now I'm working a demanding physical job for $1767. I could have easily applied for disability benefits, but I chose not to. Partly because the money isn't enough to live a decent life—maybe not enough to live at all, really—but mostly because I refuse to let my illness define me; I'm still young, and I don't want my whole existence to be swallowed up by a disability check.
But then again, it seems like this country allows just about anything to slide.

Honestly, life sucks. I feel it too. I’m not exactly built for manual labor anyway—got some physical issues going on—but if you ask me, it’s mostly just health problems... though I couldn't tell you exactly what they are, and maybe some mental stuff too, all while making zero dollars. That’s basically what crushed me this decade and then some. Intelligence is a different story, though. On this general scale, I’d say I’m sitting at maybe a 100. Though, in my opinion, those tests really just measure how educated someone is. Higher education equals higher intelligence. At least, that's how I see it.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not lazy by nature, but my health issues are a real drag. Most of the time I’m just sleeping—like, a lot—and even then, I’m perpetually exhausted and drowsy. I spend most of my time lost in my own head, just daydreaming. Either I'm drifting off or I'm gaming. So yeah, that’s why work isn't happening, or rather, why "not working" is happening. But because I spend so much time daydreaming, I end up with a ton of ideas—some decent, some totally wild—but I have absolutely no way to actually make them happen, which isn't even crazy when you think about it.

For instance, I've got this idea for how to harvest electricity from lightning strikes without blowing out the entire power grid.

Joseph Bailey41 said:Yeah, I guess that's what happens when you grow up watching Indiana Jones. 🕺

But I really should stop acting so silly—I'm getting too old for this. 😬

I used to ramble on about all that Star Trek nonsense too, and let me tell you, it didn't exactly win me any prizes. 😢