What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

Jeremy Thomas5 said:my dear 🙂
I get hit by those waves of sadness every now and then too... and once I start thinking about the baby, that grief just feels even heavier 🤷
So, I truly understand where you're coming from. But deep down, you know this feeling won't last forever—it'll pass this time, too 😘

I think we might actually be the same age
I know it's passed before, but I guess I'm just terrified that certain things won't change even after I have the baby. It makes me worry that it'll be even harder, because I'm sure the little one will feel everything I'm feeling. It seems like it would be even worse when I hear her crying and realize it isn't just hunger or a dirty diaper, but something deeper

Michael Barrett11 said:I think we might actually be the same age
I know it's passed before, but I guess I'm just terrified that certain things won't change even after I have the baby. It makes me worry that it'll be even harder, because I'm sure the little one will feel everything I'm feeling. It seems like it would be even worse when I hear her crying and realize it isn't just hunger or a dirty diaper, but something deeper

Yeah, it’s really nice to connect with another young expectant mom like myself. 🙂
(My birthday is actually coming up in ten days!)
Look, some things in this world unfortunately stay the same, but I know you are going to be an incredible mother to your little one...
And even though there will be those rough moments, there are going to be amazing ones too. I promise! 😉

I have this tendency where everything just seems to pile up on me at once, but this particular stretch is really getting to me; I’ve been feeling like this for days now.
I try to put on a brave face, but it feels incredibly hollow.
Don't get me wrong, there are good days here and there, I'm not saying there aren't.

Aside from being pregnant and having finished two years of my associate degree, I feel like I haven't actually accomplished much in life.
A close friend of mine—we've known each other since third grade—is currently grinding to get into another university program and is prepping for her SATs.
It makes me feel a bit pathetic, honestly, considering I only completed two years of my community college courses part-time.
It isn't even about being conceited or anything like that; I probably wouldn't hang out with her anyway, mostly because her parents are all highly educated—her dad was in engineering and her mom did pharmacy, and her grandfather was a doctor—so for her, pursuing higher education is just the default setting.

It’s hard to find much pride in an achievement when nobody else seems to think it counts as one.
Unfortunately, I’ve been wired this way since I was a kid—always needing that external validation from others, whether it was my parents back then or even my husband now.
The real struggle hits when I feel that sense of approval just isn't there from them.
I’ve cut ties with my father; we don't speak at all anymore.
As for my mother, I suppose she would have been more proud if I had finished my degree on schedule, landed a steady career, and then moved on to having kids, but she isn't exactly disappointed about my pregnancy. In fact, she’s actually bought me about half of everything I own.

Then there’s my husband. After five years together, I still get this nagging feeling that he doesn't truly understand me. It’s strange, because I often feel like I know exactly what he’s going to say before he even thinks it.

I get hit by those random waves of madness sometimes, where I start obsessing over what-ifs... there was even a period where I seriously considered going back to school for another degree. But then I have to ask myself: what's actually the point?
I've already got a career. If I want to learn something, I just pick up a book or dive into some professional journals. There’s really no need to go chasing another piece of paper if I don't plan on pivoting my entire career path because of it.

Sometimes I catch myself spiraling into these thoughts about how I ended up with "just" a bachelor's degree—and honestly, there are moments where I feel this wave of regret, wondering why I didn't push through for a Master's or even a PhD. But then, right on cue, I stop and ask myself... what would have actually been the point?

I mean, at the end of the day, my main priority is raising my two kids and making sure they grow up with the right values and a solid foundation, isn't it? Beyond that, whenever I feel a spark of curiosity, I just dive in—I'll pick up a book, sign up for a language course, or just tinker around with whatever catches my eye. It all happens organically when the mood strikes. Really, if you have the drive, you never stop learning, and you definitely don't need a fancy piece of paper from a university to prove you're growing. 😉

Look, I realize this isn't exactly a minor life shift, and I know I spent all that time focusing on my specialized degree, but I had a completely different vision for my future. Having a baby at 23 just didn't fit into that picture—and neither did the idea of living out in the middle of nowhere, which was something I was pretty vocal about avoiding.
I suppose I need to figure out how to actually like myself, though that’s proving to be easier said than done.

As for my husband... he was born in '87, so he's basically just a giant child.
And now I'm sitting here wondering if I'm really going to end up raising two kids instead of just one.
I'm just hoping he eventually grows out of this perpetual puberty phase, because honestly, keeping up with him is exhausting.

Honestly, you young pregnant women are driving me up the wall. 😁

Am I really the only older mom-to-be in this group? From what I can see, everyone else here is just a bunch of kids. 😢

I was just joking with Michael Barrett11 yesterday about how we're going to be the oldest parents at the PTA meetings—he actually turned pale when he realized he'll be 40 by the time his kid starts kindergarten. 😲

Hmm... take a look at all these people waving around their degrees. You see them everywhere—specialists, sub-specialists, PhDs, board certifications, tenured professors... the whole works.
But honestly, what good does any of that paper do when they’re nothing more than ill-mannered social outcasts?

Today has been an absolute disaster. Honestly, I just want to curl up and cry. I am counting down the minutes until my husband gets home so I can finally vent and let it all out. 😢

Steven Barrett6 said:My dad used to drive me absolutely insane with his massive expectations—it actually led to some pretty dark, depressive moods back in the day. But, things eventually leveled out. Now that we don't live under the same roof, we actually get along 😂

I haven't lived with mine for years either, so I’m right there with you. It’s those damn expectations and the constant commentary—it really drags me down. It’s as if they think I don't know my own life; they just feel the need to poke and prod from every possible angle. 🙄

... everything just sort of fell into place, and while I'm happy with how things turned out, I can't help but wish I'd stretched things out a little longer...

Ugh, it’s driving me absolutely insane. It’s such a gorgeous day outside, sun is shining, everything’s perfect... but I’m feeling a little too open right now so I really need to just stay put and rest, grrr
But hey, I’ve got my checkup next week, so if things are looking up, I’ll finally be able to get out and hit the road again starting then.

man
My sister got pregnant at 22. She was with this guy for all of five minutes. No college degree, no job, nothing. Just stuck.
Naturally, my folks—and yeah, I’m part of this mess 😛—were totally blindsided and disappointed.
We threw together a quick wedding just to save face. My dad lost it. He kept going on about what the neighbors would think, how she was shaming the whole family, and how we poured everything into her education just for her to throw it back in our faces.😢
She just took it. Sat there and swallowed all that crap. Once the wedding was over, things settled down a bit, but my dad wouldn't stop nagging. Then, the hammer dropped. It turns out the baby had severe genetic issues—Potter syndrome—and she had to undergo an induction at 22 weeks.🙂
It was a nightmare. That was the moment we realized how much we actually cared about this kid before they were even born. My dad broke down completely. He was sobbing like a child when he heard the news and showed up at the hospital to be with her.
Fast forward to now. Thank God, she has two beautiful kids (2 years old and 6 months). She never finished school, and neither does her partner—they don't have jobs. We don't exactly approve of the lifestyle, but we've learned to shut up and just enjoy the grandkids because they're the only thing that matters now.🙏
My dad absolutely adores them. Especially since it looked like I was never going to have my own kids. It finally hit him: a degree and a paycheck don't mean squat if you're all alone.

I’m a firm believer that everything in life eventually falls into place—it just usually does so in the most inconvenient ways possible. Look, I know I’ve basically built this academic disaster zone myself, and I realize I don't really have a leg to stand on when it comes to blaming anyone else. But honestly? I am absolutely livid. And once the anger fades, the sadness hits. It's frustrating because even though I’m the one who dug this hole, I’m still the one stuck at the bottom dealing with it.
Earlier today, I mentioned getting a random Facebook message from someone asking me to give them a play-by-play of my college situation just so *they* could "understand" what's going on. Like, seriously? Why on earth would anyone need that much detail?

At the end of the day, nothing matters more to me right now than this baby. All this stress and anxiety—it’s all circling back to her, and that’s what truly kills me. Dammit. 😠

It really gets under my skin when I want to believe people have good intentions, but their delivery is just completely off. I thought about sending her a message around 3 p.m., but I’d probably just end up regretting it later. I honestly can't stand it when people act like that...
if she’s truly a close friend, you should just be honest and tell her exactly what you told us here. But if she isn't actually a friend and is just being an absolute control freak, then just tell her to mind her own business and leave yours alone. That's definitely what I would do in that situation.

It’s actually kind of annoying how much my liver hurts right now (though I guess I deserve it after spending all afternoon making homemade potato chips and chocolate 🙄)

It’s so stressful when my boss storms into the office before I can even hide this forum window!!!

To be honest, my boss gets under my skin sometimes—even though he’s actually a great guy. It’s just that he won't let me cut corners or play fast and loose with the rules... and I really want to see how far I can push things. Even now, I feel like I’m already testing the limits.

It’s only when we’re venting about stuff from our real lives that things get heated and we might swear, since that's exactly what this thread is for—just letting out all that frustration from everything going on, and sometimes reacting a bit strongly because life just gets overwhelming...
But we’ve never actually turned on each other or been disrespectful. If any of us felt the need to speak up or call someone out, we always did it by following the forum rules and just being decent people...

The bottom line is, the woman was being rude. Even after she was told to tone it down and move those comments to the right thread, she just kept pushing the same nonsense at us... so, naturally, she got under our skin ☕

For instance, I think your approach was much more polite, and your post definitely fits here... though, I have to admit, she really pushed my buttons too...

wanderinghawk said:It irritates me when people register on this forum just to claim they were right under their old handle☕
...

Hmm, yeah... I hadn't even thought about that.🤦
Now it’s bothering me even more.🙄