What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

I honestly thought I had finally reached that Zen state where nothing gets under my skin anymore. Then, yesterday, I walk into the local bakery—where I only see the owner once every few months—and she looks at me and goes, "Wait, you haven't had the baby yet???"

Otfak.

I haven't been able to help myself, I've mostly just been lurking lately 😬 but what really gets under my skin is how people act toward pregnant women—and specifically how some other pregnant women act toward me 😳
I mean, honestly, ever since I became pregnant, it’s like my perceived value has suddenly skyrocketed in some people's eyes (it's such a total catastrophe). Like, why? If I hadn't had kids or wasn't pregnant, I would have just been treated like some nobody 😕 Everyone keeps pushing these complications on me, like, WTF? I'm not sick, I don't need someone to make my bed for me, and then they start questioning my belly because I'm only in my sixth month and still look thin 😠
I want to exercise, and everything is scheduled for pregnant women at noon, so I do that, but now that I'm back in a regular group, I've sorted that out 🙂. Forgive me, ladies, but I truly don't see any reason why anyone should have to step out of my way in a line or move aside for me? 😳 Oh my god, please, who cares... there was this scene in the grocery store checkout: I stand there waiting my turn, and then my partner arrives a bit later with the shopping cart, and he gives me this absolutely stunned look (you really should have seen his face) pointing out that I need to go behind the woman behind me because she's pregnant and arrived after me 😕 I turn around and this woman absolutely murders me with her eyes because I "killed her mom" or whatever 😲 So I said to him, hey, I was perfectly in line, by the way, and why did you forget that I'm also pregnant? As if it isn't obvious enough to kill me? I think we understand each other, and frankly, I'm dealing with my own crisis and my ligaments are killing me 😁 (that's what I call it when my uterus feels like it's splitting apart from time to time) but so what? This is a different situation 🤷 Fala Bog thank goodness I don't have any actual medical emergencies right now that would require people to clear a path for me... but the rest of this just goes into describing my current state...

hiddentiger80 said:I haven't been able to help myself, I've mostly just been lurking lately 😬 but what really gets under my skin is how people act toward pregnant women—and specifically how some other pregnant women act toward me 😳
I mean, honestly, ever since I became pregnant, it’s like my perceived value has suddenly skyrocketed in some people's eyes (it's such a total catastrophe). Like, why? If I hadn't had kids or wasn't pregnant, I would have just been treated like some nobody 😕 Everyone keeps pushing these complications on me, like, WTF? I'm not sick, I don't need someone to make my bed for me, and then they start questioning my belly because I'm only in my sixth month and still look thin 😠
I want to exercise, and everything is scheduled for pregnant women at noon, so I do that, but now that I'm back in a regular group, I've sorted that out 🙂. Forgive me, ladies, but I truly don't see any reason why anyone should have to step out of my way in a line or move aside for me? 😳 Oh my god, please, who cares... there was this scene in the grocery store checkout: I stand there waiting my turn, and then my partner arrives a bit later with the shopping cart, and he gives me this absolutely stunned look (you really should have seen his face) pointing out that I need to go behind the woman behind me because she's pregnant and arrived after me 😕 I turn around and this woman absolutely murders me with her eyes because I "killed her mom" or whatever 😲 So I said to him, hey, I was perfectly in line, by the way, and why did you forget that I'm also pregnant? As if it isn't obvious enough to kill me? I think we understand each other, and frankly, I'm dealing with my own crisis and my ligaments are killing me 😁 (that's what I call it when my uterus feels like it's splitting apart from time to time) but so what? This is a different situation 🤷 Fala Bog thank goodness I don't have any actual medical emergencies right now that would require people to clear a path for me... but the rest of this just goes into describing my current state...

It really gets under my skin when I hear people saying stuff like, "Oh, I'm pregnant, so I can't lift more than ten pounds," or "I can't go to the grocery store alone because I can't carry the bags..." or "I can't clean the house because I'm not supposed to." My god... 🙄🙄
...Look, if someone is dealing with actual medical complications and needs to stay on bed rest to save the pregnancy, fine—that’s serious and you have to respect that. But sometimes it feels like certain women are just waiting for a positive test so they can act helpless, miserable, and basically eat their way into a coma!

And then there's the constant judgment I get for still working out... (okay, sure, I've dialed back the intensity, but I haven't quit!) or for actually eating healthy and not having these bizarre, uncontrollable cravings. Sure, my ligaments and my back ache sometimes... but on those days, I just lie down, take it easy, move slow... and by the next day, I'm back to my normal self!!

Pregnant women—or whatever they were—keep trying to get under my skin. They act like everyone else handles intimacy by the book and assumes we’re all just being dramatic or making excuses. ☕

I don't go around carrying grocery bags for people,
And it certainly hasn't crossed my mind to do so..

My dear, just because you happen to be feeling particularly energetic back in May—almost like a hummingbird in peak season—is hardly the monumental event you seem to think it is. Wait until August rolls around and your hips start aching, those cramps begin to hit, and suddenly that uncomfortable plastic chair at the local FBI field office in a town like Springfield starts looking like a divine throne, bathed in some sort of heavenly glow while a choir of angels sings the Ave Maria in the background.
And then, while you’re sitting there holding ticket number 239 while the display lazily flickers at 167—waiting for some random clerk of indeterminate age and gender to call you—tell me, will you really refuse to head straight for the counter marked "Priority for Pregnant Women and Individuals with Disabilities"?

It isn't as if I feel I've incurred a massive debt to my partner, the government, or the entire planet simply because an egg was fertilized on my way to the doctor's office. That said, I also have no desire to play the part of the militant, pseudo-emancipated woman who insists on waiting an hour in line, building a concrete patio at her vacation home, and going bungee jumping. This isn't the time to be aggressively promoting one's personal political convictions. ☕

Furthermore, one should consider that there are many women here who struggled immensely to conceive, often facing multiple miscarriages or exhausting IVF cycles. What seems like a perfectly standard pregnancy to everyone else is, for them, a period of overwhelming joy mixed with intense anxiety. They live in constant fear of every minor ache, every dizzy spell, or even a slight change in how they feel physically. And honestly? That is perfectly okay.

In fact, wouldn't it be better if society showed a bit more empathy toward them? 😘

David Johnson🙏

Unfortunately, the way "natural" and health-conscious pregnant women think—including those of us dealing with IVF or various complications—is worlds apart from their mindset. We are looking at two completely different planets here, so trying to compare us is just... well, it's a bit pointless, really...
They can't wrap their heads around our reality, and honestly, we can't quite grasp theirs either 😉

It’s only fair to generalize a little, much like the comments made above—because that woman who skipped the line? Well, she might have had a very good reason to do so
And for you, judging her... God forbid, but you might find yourself having a similar reason to break the rules down the road. You never truly know what pregnancy has in store for you—one day you feel like a superhero, and the next, you're someone who isn't even allowed out of bed except to use the restroom

It’s funny how quickly people jump to name-calling... personally, I wouldn't give a second thought to someone's opinion if I felt like I was just acting according to my own "mental state"... basically, if I believe my behavior is justified 🙂

EDIT: seriously, just relax... if you actually took the time to read through the last page or two of posts, you'd realize this whole thing got unnecessarily complicated... mostly because someone misread what was actually said! Or they totally misinterpreted it... or whatever. There was zero malice intended here... and heaven forbid anyone was actually attacking pregnant women with complications. OMG! relax!

Jerry Bailey47 said:And here comes the skydiver—if you can even call me that.🙂 Could you tell me where you go for prenatal Pilates? Somewhere in New York City? I was hunting for recommendations on the pregnancy subforum yesterday—specifically in the "Volume" section—but I came up empty-handed.😢
Honestly, it drives me crazy when people start acting like they're suddenly incapacitated just because they're pregnant—as if being expecting makes you completely helpless.

Listen, I’m writing to you from San Francisco—and honestly, options around here are pretty slim too. As far as I know, there's only one fitness center in the whole city that actually carries it. Sorry I can't be more helpful.🤷

As for utilizing maternity benefits—thank God I’m doing alright now—though I was forced into bed rest for the first three months—having accidentally discovered my pregnancy only because my first two periods felt like they didn't even happen—but yes, I am making sure to use every bit of that leave. 🙂 I don't typically ride the bus—not my style—but whenever I do, I make sure to wait my turn like everyone else. Besides, I was more than happy to step aside for the other pregnant women in line. 😳 And if anyone dares to push my buttons—well, let’s just say I don't exactly play nice.

This isn't really about "schoolgirl pregnancies" or those women who have fought so hard to conceive or have to be extremely careful with their pregnancies,
from what I can gather, it’s more about standard pregnancies where some women act incredibly fragile and play the victim—not just avoiding carrying grocery bags, but acting like they can't even wipe themselves without help... honestly, it gets on my nerves too.
Of course, we are literally in a state of carrying another life, so you have to take extra care of yourself and the baby,😍 and obviously, there are much harder situations and tougher pregnancies out there; nobody is disputing that or ignoring it.
I look out for both of us,😍 but I don't expect someone to spend the whole day pampering me or walking on eggshells around me just because I'm pregnant.🙄

petrunjela1981 said:Here's a total novice looking for help,🙂 please tell me where you go for prenatal Pilates? In New York City? I was looking for recommendations on the pregnancy forum yesterday, but didn't get any replies.😢
By the way, it annoys me too when people act like they're totally incapacitated just because they're pregnant.

All I can tell you is that I doNOT recommend Sixth Sense.👎
They're pricey, the equipment is pretty lackluster, and they have these stationary bikes where you have to spend the first 15 minutes warming up (out of a 45-minute class for pregnant women), but you can't adjust them to suit your needs—I actually fell off one once, even though I mentioned at the start of class that the height wasn't right and I couldn't pedal comfortably without using my arms. Plus, if you miss a session—even if you already paid for it—you can't make it up because their groups are so small, so they won't let pregnant women do makeup classes, which is complete nonsense; when you're pregnant, who knows when you'll have a "rough" day or just feel too unwell to exercise? You basically just throw your money away.👎

shadowfalcon43 said:It’s funny how quickly people jump to name-calling... personally, I wouldn't give a second thought to someone's opinion if I felt like I was just acting according to my own "mental state"... basically, if I believe my behavior is justified 🙂

EDIT: seriously, just relax... if you actually took the time to read through the last page or two of posts, you'd realize this whole thing got unnecessarily complicated... mostly because someone misread what was actually said! Or they totally misinterpreted it... or whatever. There was zero malice intended here... and heaven forbid anyone was actually attacking pregnant women with complications. OMG! relax!

I completely agree 🙂 that everyone acts according to their own capabilities and how they feel, and that part isn't even up for debate. What *is* questionable (as it is in all aspects of life) are our expectations, and when someone fails to meet them, we end up tearing them to pieces 😁. Looking at the bigger picture, I believe every household has its own crises (and I mean no offense to anyone by saying this, nor am I trivializing anyone's struggles) and nobody asks us what kind of pain or fears we are living with or waking up to (to be honest, most of us don't even think about others that way anyway), so I don't know why there is an expectation of understanding and empathy from anyone in our surroundings (meaning strangers) only to then feel frustrated when it isn't there 🤷. But that is just my opinion 🙂

shadowfalcon43 said:It’s funny how quickly people jump to name-calling... personally, I wouldn't give a second thought to someone's opinion if I felt like I was just acting according to my own "mental state"... basically, if I believe my behavior is justified 🙂

EDIT: seriously, just relax... if you actually took the time to read through the last page or two of posts, you'd realize this whole thing got unnecessarily complicated... mostly because someone misread what was actually said! Or they totally misinterpreted it... or whatever. There was zero malice intended here... and heaven forbid anyone was actually attacking pregnant women with complications. OMG! relax!

Or maybe you should just watch what you say?
We can't know what's actually going on in your head at the moment; we only see what gets typed out 🙄. We don't see your actual reactions.
I'm sure you didn't mean anything by it, but it's probably best to be careful 😁
. Most of us are dealing with hormones anyway, right? 😁

Peter Adams58 said:Or maybe you should just watch what you say?
We can't know what's actually going on in your head at the moment; we only see what gets typed out 🙄. We don't see your actual reactions.
I'm sure you didn't mean anything by it, but it's probably best to be careful 😁
. Most of us are dealing with hormones anyway, right? 😁

Honestly, I think you've got it wrong... because in my very FIRST post about this topic, I clearly wrote..."okay, if someone is dealing with actual complications and has to stay on bed rest to save the pregnancy, that's a different story and needs to be taken seriously..."...but I guess people just skimmed right over that. People tend to read exactly what they want to see...

And frankly, I'm not planning on apologizing... because I stand by everything I said. Yeah, my hormones are all over the place too—I'm pregnant... and I'm not some wide-eyed kid in her second month... I'm at the end of my seventh month and I'm definitely not exactly a "cheerful little hummingbird" anymore...

Anyway, thanks for reminding me why I stopped posting on this forum in the first place...🙂

Don't push my buttons, shadowfalcon43😁😁😁😁

Look, we’re all pregnant here—some more than others—so there’s really no point in all this bickering. I had to fight tooth and nail with my doctors just to get my first period, and honestly, I was being way too careful back then (looking back, probably overkill), but I played it safe regardless. Same thing happened with the second one. Now I’m at 37 weeks and basically doing everything on my own since I have a kid to look after. There were no medical reasons for me to be on bed rest or anything, so that's that—I just listen to my body and figure out how much I can handle. Some days are harder than others. We all start off differently, let alone how we actually experience and carry the pregnancy.😘To
everyone.

shadowfalcon43 said:It really gets under my skin when I hear people saying stuff like, "Oh, I'm pregnant, so I can't lift more than ten pounds," or "I can't go to the grocery store alone because I can't carry the bags..." or "I can't clean the house because I'm not supposed to." My god... 🙄🙄
...Look, if someone is dealing with actual medical complications and needs to stay on bed rest to save the pregnancy, fine—that’s serious and you have to respect that. But sometimes it feels like certain women are just waiting for a positive test so they can act helpless, miserable, and basically eat their way into a coma!

And then there's the constant judgment I get for still working out... (okay, sure, I've dialed back the intensity, but I haven't quit!) or for actually eating healthy and not having these bizarre, uncontrollable cravings. Sure, my ligaments and my back ache sometimes... but on those days, I just lie down, take it easy, move slow... and by the next day, I'm back to my normal self!!

I still carry my own bags, though if I know I have a big haul, I just use a shopping cart to load everything up. Honestly, I did that even before I was pregnant whenever I went to the farmer's market. I mean, why would I struggle and strain myself? Just because I'm young and can handle it now doesn't mean I want to; once I get older, I'll probably just complain about my aching joints anyway.
I don't have any medical complications; I'm a healthy pregnant woman, thank God, and the baby is doing great. However, I have stopped doing certain things. For instance, I don't do much cleaning or bending anymore because I noticed that every time I clean the bathroom, my pelvic bone hurts so much I can barely walk. So, naturally, I'm going to lie down, and my husband can do the cleaning. I can't remember the last time I lifted anything heavier than a vacuum cleaner. Why would I bother, especially now that I'm in my third trimester?
Actually, I do expect to be let ahead in line sometimes because standing in one spot is genuinely difficult for me. Today was actually the first time during this pregnancy that I got to cut in line, and that was at H&M. I'm grateful for that. Still, I think it's easier for girls who aren't pregnant to stand in line than it is for me.
Up until about two or three weeks ago, I was still cleaning, vacuuming, and handling all the housework (except vacuuming and mopping—that's my husband's job), but now I feel like it's time to slow down.
And really, nothing about my pregnancy is bothering me. I'm enjoying every bit of it. Please don't kill me for saying that! Peace!🙂

During my first pregnancy, I was constantly stressed about the scale and the looming threat of gestational diabetes. It felt like every pound mattered. 🙄
With my second one, it’s been a total shock—I don't have to obsess over the weight because it seems to just melt off on its own, and the diabetes issue isn't even a factor this time. 😁
The whole experience is so much smoother during a second pregnancy, but honestly, once the baby actually arrives, 😍

and I don't know... just to get under everyone else's skin, I guess... 😂

I figured we wouldn't get much peace—between us women and those pregnancy hormones constantly messing with our heads...😁

OT
It really gets under my skin, my darling husband, who, bless his little heart, just can't seem to enjoy a night out if he’s already mapped out his entire schedule, which usually involves sleeping in until noon on the weekends.
Daddy 🙂
And what about me? I’m not getting any sleep at night because there’s a baby screaming right in my ear, and I’m not getting any sleep during the day either because someone actually has to look after this tiny human.
Because apparently, a fifteen-month-old isn't going to just sit in a high chair knitting scarves while sipping tea and chatting about the weather in total tranquility.
Coffee? Going out? A beer? What even is that?
🤷

The ungrateful brat 🙂

I am seriously losing my mind. People won't stop making comments about my little baby bump during this pregnancy 🙂

It’s honestly driving me crazy having to wear headbands and hats all the time for the last two months. I have such bad gray regrowth, and since I really want to look put-together during my pregnancy, I’m constantly stuck using these little hair fixes.
I just don't have the guts to dye it until I'm through this first trimester.....

Since I haven't told anyone outside of my family about the pregnancy yet, I know that down the road, all those well-meaning 🙂 pieces of advice are going to really get on my nerves.