What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

George—kudos to her, she’s a true friend. 😉

Back at it again with my endless grievances.🙂 My mother-in-law really pushed my buttons today—she actually had the nerve to lecture my mom about why we eat lunch together every single day, suggesting I should be using that time to learn how to cook instead. 🙄 Look, let’s be real—I’m no Gordon Ramsay—especially since my husband worked out of the house while I was stuck in an office all day; frankly, I never felt the need to cook just for myself. Now that I'm home, after a period of just resting, both my MIL and my mom have been doing the cooking—so now my in-laws are used to us all eating together, and they couldn't care less if it's a table for three or five. I don't owe anyone an explanation for having lunch at my parents' place. Besides, why does it matter where we eat? My husband doesn't mind—is she seriously worried her son might go hungry one day???
If you ask me, women like my mother-in-law are exactly why men today can't even fry an egg or figure out how to start a dishwasher. If I didn't serve everything up on a silver platter, he'd be lost—especially now that I'm pregnant. 🙂 🙂🙂🙂

Jerry Bailey47 said:George—kudos to her, she’s a true friend. 😉

Back at it again with my endless grievances.🙂 My mother-in-law really pushed my buttons today—she actually had the nerve to lecture my mom about why we eat lunch together every single day, suggesting I should be using that time to learn how to cook instead. 🙄 Look, let’s be real—I’m no Gordon Ramsay—especially since my husband worked out of the house while I was stuck in an office all day; frankly, I never felt the need to cook just for myself. Now that I'm home, after a period of just resting, both my MIL and my mom have been doing the cooking—so now my in-laws are used to us all eating together, and they couldn't care less if it's a table for three or five. I don't owe anyone an explanation for having lunch at my parents' place. Besides, why does it matter where we eat? My husband doesn't mind—is she seriously worried her son might go hungry one day???
If you ask me, women like my mother-in-law are exactly why men today can't even fry an egg or figure out how to start a dishwasher. If I didn't serve everything up on a silver platter, he'd be lost—especially now that I'm pregnant. 🙂 🙂🙂🙂

👍
As far as I'm concerned, my patience has officially run dry... I can only imagine how much harder things will be during pregnancy or when there's a little one running around.
And as for all the animal lovers and people acting like moral police... no comment. I just don't understand why some people feel such a massive need to meddle in everyone else's business.

Charles Moore49, you sound just like my own folks, because my entire family has always been absolutely devoted to animals, and I personally grew up in a home where our cats were treated as true members of the family and lived incredibly long, pampered lives... I eventually passed that same affection down to my husband and his relatives, so now they have their own pets too, while we enjoy our two little ones here... and honestly, I’ve had to navigate some toxic dynamics myself lately...
It truly gets under my skin when people try to lecture me about something they clearly haven't experienced, especially those who claim to be animal lovers yet have the audacity to ask, "Why would you want cats in the first place?"
Then there is this other situation that really caught me off guard involving a friend I thought was "so close," yet she hasn't even reached out in weeks to see how I'm doing or how my doctor's appointment went, and she shows zero interest in my pregnancy—she doesn't ask questions or even realize that I've been on strict bed rest for two whole weeks now... at first, I wondered if I was being dramatic, thinking maybe I expect too much from people, hoping they'd care about how the baby is growing, if I have a new ultrasound photo, or if the little one is kicking left or right... but she isn't even dating, let alone thinking about kids, so she just doesn't get it... do you all think this behavior is forgivable, or are pregnant women just naturally too self-absorbed in their own condition?
And the third thing that is driving me absolutely crazy is my mother-in-law constantly trying to kiss and touch my belly, topped off by her repeatedly demanding, "Let me see my grandbaby!"😠

Charles Moore49 said:Charles Moore49, you sound just like my own folks, because my entire family has always been absolutely devoted to animals, and I personally grew up in a home where our cats were treated as true members of the family and lived incredibly long, pampered lives... I eventually passed that same affection down to my husband and his relatives, so now they have their own pets too, while we enjoy our two little ones here... and honestly, I’ve had to navigate some toxic dynamics myself lately...
It truly gets under my skin when people try to lecture me about something they clearly haven't experienced, especially those who claim to be animal lovers yet have the audacity to ask, "Why would you want cats in the first place?"
Then there is this other situation that really caught me off guard involving a friend I thought was "so close," yet she hasn't even reached out in weeks to see how I'm doing or how my doctor's appointment went, and she shows zero interest in my pregnancy—she doesn't ask questions or even realize that I've been on strict bed rest for two whole weeks now... at first, I wondered if I was being dramatic, thinking maybe I expect too much from people, hoping they'd care about how the baby is growing, if I have a new ultrasound photo, or if the little one is kicking left or right... but she isn't even dating, let alone thinking about kids, so she just doesn't get it... do you all think this behavior is forgivable, or are pregnant women just naturally too self-absorbed in their own condition?
And the third thing that is driving me absolutely crazy is my mother-in-law constantly trying to kiss and touch my belly, topped off by her repeatedly demanding, "Let me see my grandbaby!"😠

I think it’s totally forgivable. I don't know how old you are, but I spent years being single and doing my own thing, while many of my friends were getting pregnant and having babies during that time. Honestly, I couldn't relate to what they were going through at all, so I didn't know anything about folic acid, prenatal vitamins, or what size a baby should be at a certain week. I really didn't want to say the wrong thing and look stupid. On the flip side, one of my closest friends was incredibly resentful toward me, and we only reconnected once I told her we were trying for a baby. Now she constantly pushes her advice on me, but I can't stand listening to it. I'm currently going through IVF and have a million different thoughts running through my head, yet she just keeps lecturing me.

My best friend broke up with her guy and moved to another continent for a while. She checks in on Skype to see how I am, but there's nothing more to it than that. I completely understand her—my pregnancy journey is totally foreign territory to her.😬

Charles Moore49 said:Charles Moore49, you sound just like my own folks, because my entire family has always been absolutely devoted to animals, and I personally grew up in a home where our cats were treated as true members of the family and lived incredibly long, pampered lives... I eventually passed that same affection down to my husband and his relatives, so now they have their own pets too, while we enjoy our two little ones here... and honestly, I’ve had to navigate some toxic dynamics myself lately...
It truly gets under my skin when people try to lecture me about something they clearly haven't experienced, especially those who claim to be animal lovers yet have the audacity to ask, "Why would you want cats in the first place?"
Then there is this other situation that really caught me off guard involving a friend I thought was "so close," yet she hasn't even reached out in weeks to see how I'm doing or how my doctor's appointment went, and she shows zero interest in my pregnancy—she doesn't ask questions or even realize that I've been on strict bed rest for two whole weeks now... at first, I wondered if I was being dramatic, thinking maybe I expect too much from people, hoping they'd care about how the baby is growing, if I have a new ultrasound photo, or if the little one is kicking left or right... but she isn't even dating, let alone thinking about kids, so she just doesn't get it... do you all think this behavior is forgivable, or are pregnant women just naturally too self-absorbed in their own condition?
And the third thing that is driving me absolutely crazy is my mother-in-law constantly trying to kiss and touch my belly, topped off by her repeatedly demanding, "Let me see my grandbaby!"😠

First off, I'm right there with Zlatan and you. My situation is much the same; I have a cat who stays indoors mostly but gets to stretch her legs outside occasionally. I’ve also dealt with toxoplasmosis (though my vet mentioned it isn't a total guarantee of safety since the virus can reactivate later on). Regardless, the idea of getting rid of her never crosses my mind because she is a member of this family.😍
Secondly, I’ve touched on this before regarding my "good" friend's reaction—or lack thereof—to my pregnancy news, and how another "dear" friend
from about a year and a half ago🙄 hasn't called, texted, or made any effort to contact me at all since I found out four months ago. I know she’s aware, as are her sister, her mother, and our mutual friends. I can guess the possible reasons behind her silence—perhaps she's struggling with her own difficulty conceiving for over a year—but regardless, this behavior feels selfish and entirely unneighborly. I don't expect people to be fascinated by every milestone of my pregnancy, but I do expect my friends to be happy for my happiness. As far as I'm concerned, that friendship is over.☕.

It’s driving me crazy. I can't fall asleep until 3 AM even though I'm exhausted, and I'm supposed to be up at 6 to go get blood work done (which, let's be real, I'm just going to push back—AGAIN). Plus, feeling this sick at 31 weeks pregnant is just frustrating. And don't even get me started on the heartburn... it's constant.

I’ve been dealing with some pretty brutal insomnia over the last couple of weeks. It usually goes like this: I’ll wake up around 4:00 AM, and once my eyes are open, that’s it—game over, no more sleep for me. Then I just trudge through the day, maybe one or two days of feeling like a zombie, until by the third day, I just completely crash out around 9:00 PM and sleep straight through until morning. Honestly, it’s enough to drive a person a little crazy.

Noah Wells2 said:First off, I'm right there with Zlatan and you. My situation is much the same; I have a cat who stays indoors mostly but gets to stretch her legs outside occasionally. I’ve also dealt with toxoplasmosis (though my vet mentioned it isn't a total guarantee of safety since the virus can reactivate later on). Regardless, the idea of getting rid of her never crosses my mind because she is a member of this family.😍
Secondly, I’ve touched on this before regarding my "good" friend's reaction—or lack thereof—to my pregnancy news, and how another "dear" friend
from about a year and a half ago🙄 hasn't called, texted, or made any effort to contact me at all since I found out four months ago. I know she’s aware, as are her sister, her mother, and our mutual friends. I can guess the possible reasons behind her silence—perhaps she's struggling with her own difficulty conceiving for over a year—but regardless, this behavior feels selfish and entirely unneighborly. I don't expect people to be fascinated by every milestone of my pregnancy, but I do expect my friends to be happy for my happiness. As far as I'm concerned, that friendship is over.☕.

Never say never. Try to see things from her perspective. We dealt with infertility for years, and even though we loved seeing other people's kids, there were certain things I just couldn't handle lately, like kids' birthday parties. They were a total nightmare for me. When everyone else has children, you constantly deal with that awkward "So, when is it your turn?" pressure. I handled it by telling everyone I wouldn't be coming anymore because it was just too hard. I'd always send a gift later, but being in a group of twenty couples where everyone has toddlers and then suddenly prying into my private life was too much.
My husband didn't have the guts to be upfront with his friends, so he just made up excuses for why we couldn't make it. I thought it was pointless, but it was his call and I respect that.
Maybe it's just harder for your friend than it is for you, which is why she can't even pick up the phone or send a text. Give her some grace.

Regarding my girlfriends and how they’ve been handling my pregnancy, I have to say that my closest friends were absolutely thrilled when I shared the news, and they are genuinely happy for me. That said, I don't exactly expect them to grill me constantly about how the baby is doing or if I can feel any movement or other tiny details. When we catch up over coffee or on the phone, they always check in on how I'm feeling, I give them a quick update, and then we move on to everything else—love lives, work, weekend plans, you name it. Just because I’m pregnant doesn't mean I've lost interest in the rest of the world... I really believe that anything taken to an extreme is a bit much. Back when I wasn't even thinking about kids, I wouldn't have wanted to sit through endless conversations centered solely around pregnancy and babies. Now, it’s just as annoying when people hear the news and immediately jump to talking about labor pains, childbirth, breast changes, or hemorrhoids...🙂 Honestly, just let me enjoy this phase and discover the "joys" of pregnancy at my own pace. If there's something I actually want to ask my inner circle or you ladies here on the forum, I definitely will!🙂

The whole family dynamic is honestly driving me up the wall! For instance, my cousins haven't even reached out once to ask how I'm doing... they haven't even sent a quick "congrats" on the pregnancy, let alone anything meaningful... just total radio silence. My aunt and uncle are acting the exact same way... it’s unbelievable. 😲 Okay, look, we weren't exactly best friends or super close before this... but I’d catch up with those cousins a few times a year... we were on good terms, we knew the general gist of what was going on in each other's lives. The only thing is, maybe they expected me to personally break the news about being pregnant (which I didn't... they found out through my parents)... so maybe they're acting all huffy because of that? Who knows. Either way, it's pretty ugly!

As for people touching my belly... the only ones I actually let near it are my husband—obviously 😍—or my mom. As for anyone else... yeah, I'm not having it. 🙂

ironjackal20 said:Never say never. Try to see things from her perspective. We dealt with infertility for years, and even though we loved seeing other people's kids, there were certain things I just couldn't handle lately, like kids' birthday parties. They were a total nightmare for me. When everyone else has children, you constantly deal with that awkward "So, when is it your turn?" pressure. I handled it by telling everyone I wouldn't be coming anymore because it was just too hard. I'd always send a gift later, but being in a group of twenty couples where everyone has toddlers and then suddenly prying into my private life was too much.
My husband didn't have the guts to be upfront with his friends, so he just made up excuses for why we couldn't make it. I thought it was pointless, but it was his call and I respect that.
Maybe it's just harder for your friend than it is for you, which is why she can't even pick up the phone or send a text. Give her some grace.

In our social circle, the oldest kid is only three and a half, so that first pregnancy announcement happened right as my partner and I started living together seriously—and we already knew we were facing some hurdles...
But through all those five babies born in the meantime, I was genuinely the happiest person on earth! I’ve been hovering over them and showering them with love since day one, and we make sure to show up to every single birthday party with a smile on our faces.
I just processed everything differently in my head, and honestly, I truly enjoy being around those kids.

What touched me most was when a friend was at coffee announcing her latest pregnancy—she kept glancing at me like she was waiting for an apology or something, but I just gave her a huge hug, kissed her, and congratulated her from the bottom of my heart.
I suspect it was actually harder on her than it was on me...😬

By the way, my husband's brother and his wife decided to stop fertility treatments after a few attempts and chose not to have kids at all.
But during family dinners at their parents' place, I realized that my pregnancy isn't even mentioned, which feels... 🤮
Whenever someone asks how everything is going, they're all ears, but the moment we arrive... silence.
I told my husband he really needs to talk to his mom about this, because I shouldn't be the one feeling uncomfortable, and they should just act normal.
And then this past Saturday, after dinner, the questions start flying: "How far along are you now?", "When is your next checkup?", blah blah blah... meanwhile, my sister-in-law is sitting right next to us, buried in a magazine, acting like she can't hear a thing.😬
But I haven't let her get to me for a long time—that's just who she is...😉
The only thing I really care about is making sure the rest of the family doesn't start acting weird toward me just because of her.

feralmoose32 said:In our social circle, the oldest kid is only three and a half, so that first pregnancy announcement happened right as my partner and I started living together seriously—and we already knew we were facing some hurdles...
But through all those five babies born in the meantime, I was genuinely the happiest person on earth! I’ve been hovering over them and showering them with love since day one, and we make sure to show up to every single birthday party with a smile on our faces.
I just processed everything differently in my head, and honestly, I truly enjoy being around those kids.

What touched me most was when a friend was at coffee announcing her latest pregnancy—she kept glancing at me like she was waiting for an apology or something, but I just gave her a huge hug, kissed her, and congratulated her from the bottom of my heart.
I suspect it was actually harder on her than it was on me...😬

By the way, my husband's brother and his wife decided to stop fertility treatments after a few attempts and chose not to have kids at all.
But during family dinners at their parents' place, I realized that my pregnancy isn't even mentioned, which feels... 🤮
Whenever someone asks how everything is going, they're all ears, but the moment we arrive... silence.
I told my husband he really needs to talk to his mom about this, because I shouldn't be the one feeling uncomfortable, and they should just act normal.
And then this past Saturday, after dinner, the questions start flying: "How far along are you now?", "When is your next checkup?", blah blah blah... meanwhile, my sister-in-law is sitting right next to us, buried in a magazine, acting like she can't hear a thing.😬
But I haven't let her get to me for a long time—that's just who she is...😉
The only thing I really care about is making sure the rest of the family doesn't start acting weird toward me just because of her.

It's not that I don't love my friends' children with all my heart, but I have found myself in some really awkward situations. My close friends never asked anything, but their other friends would ask these subtle questions that were really bothering me. Usually, I made an effort to visit, just not at the same time as everyone else.

Also, a very dear friend of mine who is single asked her friends with little kids not to invite her to certain gatherings, and they respected that, so she always meets up with the group later.

As for the sister-in-law, look, it isn't easy for her either. Since this is just the internet, I feel silly giving advice, but you've been through everything too, so you know how hard it can be sometimes.

Personally, I don't want anyone asking me about the pregnancy except my husband and my immediate family, and even then, they just ask how I'm doing without getting into details. That works for me, because when everyone starts getting overly euphoric about it, I don't know how I'll manage.🙂

It honestly drives me crazy when people shower me with questions, but then turns out just as irritating when they don't ask anything at all.

I know I’ve been guilty of this too—I used to steer clear of pregnant women whenever I was struggling to conceive without any luck. It wasn't because I was being jealous or anything like that, it was just that I couldn't bear to be around it, knowing that almost every conversation would inevitably end with some nosy person asking, "So, when are you guys having a baby?"

ironjackal20 said:It's not that I don't love my friends' children with all my heart, but I have found myself in some really awkward situations. My close friends never asked anything, but their other friends would ask these subtle questions that were really bothering me. Usually, I made an effort to visit, just not at the same time as everyone else.

Also, a very dear friend of mine who is single asked her friends with little kids not to invite her to certain gatherings, and they respected that, so she always meets up with the group later.

As for the sister-in-law, look, it isn't easy for her either. Since this is just the internet, I feel silly giving advice, but you've been through everything too, so you know how hard it can be sometimes.

Personally, I don't want anyone asking me about the pregnancy except my husband and my immediate family, and even then, they just ask how I'm doing without getting into details. That works for me, because when everyone starts getting overly euphoric about it, I don't know how I'll manage.🙂

If I hadn't gone through everything myself, I wouldn't truly understand what she's feeling, which is why I don't even hold it against her...

But then again, she's got that four-year-old nephew who she absolutely adores...
And honestly, he's such a little handful too... 🤷

I really am curious to see how she'll act once I actually have the baby... 🍿

Frank, I honestly think she’s just going to keep dodging you; that’s just the kind of woman she is.

So, who exactly is this guy Shiša?

feralmoose32 said:If I hadn't gone through everything myself, I wouldn't truly understand what she's feeling, which is why I don't even hold it against her...

But then again, she's got that four-year-old nephew who she absolutely adores...
And honestly, he's such a little handful too... 🤷

I really am curious to see how she'll act once I actually have the baby... 🍿

She’ll adore him too, don't worry, I'm sure of it.
Hopefully things settle down for them so they can have a child of their own... I truly wish that for everyone out there fighting this battle.

hiddenscout362 said:Frank, I honestly think she’s just going to keep dodging you; that’s just the kind of woman she is.

So, who exactly is this guy Shiša?

It’s not like I’m going to be heartbroken or anything... 😬
I just really can't stand having people act all icy and distant around me... 🙂

ironjackal20

ironjackal20 said:She’ll adore him too, don't worry, I'm sure of it.
Hopefully things settle down for them so they can have a child of their own... I truly wish that for everyone out there fighting this battle.

Unfortunately, I think their chapter regarding having kids might be closing... she's over 40 now, and after everything they've been through, they seem to have given up.
🤷

He’s over 40 and still acting like this? Honestly, he's such a child.

hiddenscout362 said:He’s over 40 and still acting like this? Honestly, he's such a child.

Age and education don't guarantee anything. I've learned that the hard way more times than I can count. Everyone is different.