What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

So... here’s my first big blunder. My mother-in-law—oh boy—she goes, "What if the baby doesn't wake up?!" 😲 Honestly, I just felt this massive lump form in my throat—it was physical—and then my husband jumped in to insist the baby was perfectly fine. Then came the excuses... Look, I'm sure she didn't mean to be malicious, but seriously? Some things you just don't say out loud.

Nancy Stewart38 said:So... here’s my first big blunder. My mother-in-law—oh boy—she goes, "What if the baby doesn't wake up?!" 😲 Honestly, I just felt this massive lump form in my throat—it was physical—and then my husband jumped in to insist the baby was perfectly fine. Then came the excuses... Look, I'm sure she didn't mean to be malicious, but seriously? Some things you just don't say out loud.

I just had to chime in because I totally had my own crazy moment during pregnancy! That exact same comment!
So, I’m sitting at my father-in-law’s place, and his sister-in-law—who’s only 20 and already has a one-year-old, so she thinks she’s an expert on everything—asks me if the baby has "come back to life" yet. Honestly, I was just so confused. Like, what is she even talking about? I mean, obviously my baby has been alive from day one, it’s just too small for me to feel movement yet. I told her I had no clue what she meant and asked her to explain herself. Then I just gave her my side of things and, yeah, I was out of there!

And honestly, they drive me absolutely nuts with how they act. First off, I can't stand how they're acting about us having a boy, especially since they have this precious little girl. They’re all worried our son is going to steal all my father-in-law's attention since he'll be the first grandson! Not to mention how my brother-in-law tried to convince me one day that our ultrasound looked "off" and that there was no way it could be a boy. The scan was crystal clear! Just a jealous idiot, I guess!
Then, seeing how they feed that little one... I almost burst into tears from pure frustration. She's only nine months old, but they were feeding her beef stew with pasta when she was four months old! And sausages, ham, deli meats, Coke, chocolate milk when she was five... mostly because they thought the healthy stuff was too expensive, I guess... And then there was that recent comment about strollers. Ours came out a little after the $1333 3-in-1 model. But they spent a fortune on their $667 2-in-1. So now we’re basically throwing money away buying the extra bassinet attachment, but hey, whatever, we can afford it.

Aaaaaaaaaaa, it drives me insane!
And yeah, hello? I didn't get married at nineteen right when I started college. I’m not even in school anymore, I’ve got my car, and I have my license. I worked for all of it because I’m 28 and I actually had priorities. It wasn't easy balancing work and classes, but I guess it paid off. I finished my degree, paid for my license, bought a new car in cash, and even started a savings account when I was 20 that’s helping us out so much now... and everything else.
But sure, it's easy for them to say we just had everything handed to us without working for a single thing!

Seriously, frozenangler87. Human stupidity truly knows no bounds... 🙄
I don't know—if I don't learn to tune out comments like that, I’m going to lose my mind...
And after dealing with my mother-in-law, my blood pressure is through the roof. I honestly didn't see this coming from her—first, she insists we shouldn't buy anything until the eighth month of pregnancy (look, if someone wants to wait, fine, but what if I end up on bed rest? Plus, it's way easier on the budget to spread costs out over a few months. Besides, my eighth month falls in August in New York City! I have zero desire to be trekking through the city in 95-degree heat), and second, she says the baby needs to be baptized ASAP because "you never know." That was triggered by me saying I wanted to wait until spring so we could actually be outdoors, assuming the baby would be at least 6 months old by then. Okay, sure, you never know what might happen—I get that—but I can't live constantly spiraling into these worst-case scenarios... and I already worry about every little thing, I really don't need this added to my plate!
I need to vent, fast!

I try to just tune out all that noise, I really do, but then there are those days where everything just hits the boiling point. Maybe it's just my hormones acting up, or maybe not... I don't know...
Look, I’ll listen to whatever advice people throw my way, no biggie, but at the end of the day, I’m gonna do what feels right to me. I haven't been out here meddling in anyone else's business, and I've voiced my own opinion a hundred times already—and I'll probably do it again—but if someone wants to go a different route, hey, more power to them. They do them, not me.

That's why you should just take it slow, kind of like how I do... We can just vent and blow off some steam right here! 😉

My mother actually brought up this whole idea of bringing children back to life too. I just attribute all of it to the generational gap and a lack of education.

My mother-in-law is great, but she and my mom didn't see a single OB-GYN until they were actually in labor (honestly, that shocked me). Now, every one of my checkups becomes an experience for her; she’s always asking what the doctor said or how everything went. She isn't being annoying or pushy, but I already know that once I have kids, my own family will be a bigger handful than hers.

Nancy Stewart38 said:So... here’s my first big blunder. My mother-in-law—oh boy—she goes, "What if the baby doesn't wake up?!" 😲 Honestly, I just felt this massive lump form in my throat—it was physical—and then my husband jumped in to insist the baby was perfectly fine. Then came the excuses... Look, I'm sure she didn't mean to be malicious, but seriously? Some things you just don't say out loud.

My mom is exactly the same way, always having something to say. 😁
She told me straight up, "I didn't even bother seeing the OB-GYN until after you got that baby breathing again." 😂
So, according to her logic, I waited about four months before checking in. 😂

Alright, let’s talk about mothers-in-law! My husband and I went to our ultrasound yesterday and finally found out we’re having a girl! 😍 We are absolutely over the moon, though honestly, we would have been just as thrilled if it were a boy. The thing is, my mother-in-law has been dead set on us having sons since the moment we met—as if gender is some sort of family trait passed down through generations or something... So, my husband calls her up yesterday to share the news and tell her we finally know the sex, and she just shoots back, "A boy, right? I knew it was going to be a boy!" When he tells her, no, it's actually a girl, she just goes, "No way, impossible." 🙂 I was losing my mind, but luckily he stepped up and set her straight. She ended up calling us several times afterward, and even called my mom just to say how overjoyed she is that we're getting a little girl. Usually, she's such a sweetheart, but I think she was just so stunned that her "prediction" was wrong that she kind of snapped, which sent me into a bit of a tizzy myself...🙂

Regarding the whole idea of waiting until after the baby arrives to go shopping—well, some of my mom’s friends actually took that advice to heart...

And then one dad mentioned it to my husband—he was basically saying, "Man, just get everything you need beforehand. Trying to run all over town with a stroller in tow is enough to drive anyone insane. Between the wife being stressed out and me losing my mind because we can't find the specific model she wants or even the right color... just don't put yourself through that nightmare."

😂

It’s mostly just superstitions and old wives' tales, really. Older generations seem especially prone to that kind of stuff. Though, to be fair, I had rough first trimesters during all three of my pregnancies, so nobody actually knew I was pregnant for a while (except my mom and my OB-GYN). It wasn't until that critical window passed that I even started gathering gear or getting the nursery ready. But I’d never dream of waiting until the very end.

The one thing that actually gets under my skin is finding out someone’s pregnant... whether it's a beta level of 150 or just finding out they're expecting... all those damn congratulations...
I honestly still don't get it—to this day... what exactly am I supposed to be congratulating anyone for??
What does "being pregnant" even mean? It’s a big nothing... there’s so much that can change, especially in those first 12 weeks... so if anyone wants to take offense, it's the damn celebrators 😠
Congratulate me when, God willing, 🙂 the baby is actually born...
I'll play along and offer congrats on this forum just because it's the default setting here, but in the real world... the moment someone brings it up to me... I'll cut them off mid-sentence... and they won't hear a word about that topic from me ever again...

James Cox6 said:The one thing that actually gets under my skin is finding out someone’s pregnant... whether it's a beta level of 150 or just finding out they're expecting... all those damn congratulations...
I honestly still don't get it—to this day... what exactly am I supposed to be congratulating anyone for??
What does "being pregnant" even mean? It’s a big nothing... there’s so much that can change, especially in those first 12 weeks... so if anyone wants to take offense, it's the damn celebrators 😠
Congratulate me when, God willing, 🙂 the baby is actually born...
I'll play along and offer congrats on this forum just because it's the default setting here, but in the real world... the moment someone brings it up to me... I'll cut them off mid-sentence... and they won't hear a word about that topic from me ever again...

Hehe, that gets on my nerves too. I've never understood the whole congratulating thing either.
Exactly—what is there to celebrate yet? 🤷

Another thing that drives me crazy is when people start treating me like I'm "disabled" instead of just pregnant.
Like, stop it. Don't grab a grocery bag out of my hands just because it's heavy 😕. Don't offer to grab the broom, or the rag, or carry me up the stairs, or chew my food for me—hello?
I know perfectly well when something is exhausting and when it isn't, and I'll take care of my own rest. Sure, I'm not going to go chop wood for an hour, but nobody's going to die because I swept the patio or the porch after a snowstorm.
😳

I’m not easily rattled—I tend to maintain a certain level of optimism and try not to let things get under my skin—but I’m starting to see some striking parallels with how other mothers handle this. Our baby is due in August, yet I’ve already gone ahead and pre-ordered a mountain of gear from friends and acquaintances, and even scouted out the crib and dresser we’ll eventually pick up. It’s purely pragmatic; I need a ballpark figure for the budget and a sense of what kind of support we might receive from family. My mother thinks I'm being reckless, driven by some sort of superstition, insisting we should wait until the final days before delivery to settle everything. But I have no intention of dealing with a shopping frenzy in the middle of a sweltering American summer heatwave, nor do I want the unnecessary stress. I refuse to invite any negativity into the process.☕

James Cox6 said:The one thing that actually gets under my skin is finding out someone’s pregnant... whether it's a beta level of 150 or just finding out they're expecting... all those damn congratulations...
I honestly still don't get it—to this day... what exactly am I supposed to be congratulating anyone for??
What does "being pregnant" even mean? It’s a big nothing... there’s so much that can change, especially in those first 12 weeks... so if anyone wants to take offense, it's the damn celebrators 😠
Congratulate me when, God willing, 🙂 the baby is actually born...
I'll play along and offer congrats on this forum just because it's the default setting here, but in the real world... the moment someone brings it up to me... I'll cut them off mid-sentence... and they won't hear a word about that topic from me ever again...

Can someone please just understand where I'm coming from? I'm actually looking forward to things.🙂
Mostly, honey, we are in total agreement on this topic—more than we've ever agreed on anything else.😍
It was great how he sat everyone down beforehand and asked them to keep things low-key without all the euphoria... and he clearly handled it well, because even though she isn't usually the type to get overly excited, everyone is happy but they respect our feelings and don't pester us with stupid questions. Everyone agreed we'll celebrate in August 🙂 I'll buy everyone unlimited burgers and fries and let the party go wild while I'm at the hospital... then they can celebrate.😂

Jerry Bailey47 said:Charles Moore49—just let her talk and do what she wants. Obviously, you can't just buy everything in a three-day window; it took me three whole months just to pick out a stroller—first browsing online, then hitting the stores, and finally making a call. It’s smart to keep an eye on sales too, since you can snag much better deals that way—something that doesn't happen in a single weekend. And honestly, it's not too early at all; I personally think everything should be ready a month ahead of time because you never truly know when that baby is going to make its appearance. It's all just old wives' tales and superstitions. 😉

Exactly, it's not that I'd ever let her comments sway my plans, but it feels silly because it seems like she doesn't want to talk about it or even listen, even though she claims to be so incredibly excited about her grandchild...🤷
I completely agree that you need to see and test everything out, especially for those major items like strollers, cribs, and changing tables...
For instance, we picked up a crib, bedding, and a mattress as a bundle deal, so we essentially got a four-piece bedding set for free... and why would I wait around... it just doesn't make sense...

As for waiting until seven days before the due date... I simply refuse to put myself through that, as it would cause me far too much pressure and stress, given how long the checklist for baby essentials and hospital bags actually is, regardless of whether the items are small or inexpensive, you really need to prepare... I don't have the luxury of having things handed to me, so I want to purchase everything myself and stay ahead of schedule...
And even if you wait until the very moment you head to the hospital, unfortunately, there's no guarantee you'll be heading home with the baby right away, is there? So, those superstitions are just nonsense to me...
I mean, it didn't occur to me to start buying things the second I found out I was pregnant, but once you approach the 30-week mark, I think it's perfectly reasonable...

Ladies, let’s be clear: this is your pregnancy, your baby, and your choices. There is absolutely no reason for some third party to be dictating your shopping list. Do what makes you happy and enjoy the process. This is actually the perfect time to practice setting boundaries for your own independence; from here on out, there will always be someone trying to tell you how to live your life, even if they think they’re doing it with the best intentions.

Angela Reed5 said:Ladies, let’s be clear: this is your pregnancy, your baby, and your choices. There is absolutely no reason for some third party to be dictating your shopping list. Do what makes you happy and enjoy the process. This is actually the perfect time to practice setting boundaries for your own independence; from here on out, there will always be someone trying to tell you how to live your life, even if they think they’re doing it with the best intentions.

I have a feeling this comment was directed my way, so let me clarify my perspective...
For instance, if someone offers to help—meaning you realize they are planning to pick up a major item like a crib, a dresser, or a stroller—but they feel it's too early to even bring it up because there's still plenty of time left on the clock, I think that's a bit misplaced... any expectant mother would naturally want to know what's being bought and when, and she’d certainly love to provide some guidance on the style or features... assuming, of course, that you can actually have a say in the selection and reach an agreement...
Whatever I decide to buy for myself, I will handle personally, but if my parents offer to buy the stroller, I’m definitely not going to turn them down... however, I want to be kept in the loop in advance, because it's never "too early" to have a conversation or coordinate plans, and I certainly don't want things being purchased or organized while I'm stuck in a hospital bed...
So, that's really all I meant to say...😉

Jerry Bailey47 said:I’m honestly reaching my breaking point with this one friend—she is constantly rubbing our stroller purchase in our faces just because we spent a premium on it. 🙄 No matter what we’re talking about—whether it's iPhones, dinner plans, or vacation spots—somehow the conversation pivots back to our stroller and its price tag. It’s bizarre. And if we even dare to mention that something else is expensive or that we have a bill to pay, her immediate response is always some variation of, "Well, you shouldn't complain, considering how much you dropped on those strollers." 😠 Between the sheer annoyance and my pregnancy hormones, I am hovering dangerously close to telling her to take a hike if she brings up those wheels one more time!!!! 🙂

Well, I have officially reached that stage myself... 😁 I ordered my stroller, and when I mentioned the price, all I got was shock and disbelief. Then, when I remarked the other day that I felt like I was picking out a luxury car instead of baby gear (which is no small feat 😳, since I'm clearly not built for this kind of stress 😬), she just told me that I chose to spend the money, so now I shouldn't complain 🤣

Paul Campbell3 said:Honestly, I have the exact opposite experience. 🙄

Everything we own was handed down from relatives or friends who already had kids—double strollers, cribs, even a bassinet with a bath, plus a mountain of clothes and car seats. And what do I get? People hitting me with comments like, "You can't use that," or "You really need to buy a new stroller," or "How do you know it isn't worn out?" They act like because we don't buy everything brand new, we must be blowing our money on winter tires or weekend trips to a spa resort instead. Just total nonsense. 😬

At the end of the day, how someone spends their money is their business. It seems insane to me to drop thousands upon thousands of dollars on stuff that’s only going to be used for a few months when I have the chance to get it all for free.

I know some people find it beneath them to let their kid wear "used" gear.

Me? I'd much rather open a savings account and put a few hundred bucks away for my kid every month. Because let's face it: the faster they grow, the more expensive they get.

To be perfectly honest, I couldn't care less if someone drops 15 $0.00 on baby gear before the birth or 30 $0.00 on a private hospital, regardless of whether I would personally do the same.

Everyone does what they can and what they think is best. Priorities vary from person to person, just like life philosophies, and that should be respected. 🙂

People just feel this desperate urge to stick their noses where they don't belong and talk absolute garbage 😳 while acting like experts when nobody ever asked for their opinion. Looking at what was said here, it seems like there's no winning—if you buy new, it's wrong, and if you don't, it's also wrong... I honestly have nothing against anyone's personal perspective, but I truly don't understand the need for people to explain things to me when I haven't asked a single question. 🤷

hiddentiger80 said:Well, I have officially reached that stage myself... 😁 I ordered my stroller, and when I mentioned the price, all I got was shock and disbelief. Then, when I remarked the other day that I felt like I was picking out a luxury car instead of baby gear (which is no small feat 😳, since I'm clearly not built for this kind of stress 😬), she just told me that I chose to spend the money, so now I shouldn't complain 🤣

Just try to ignore it or snap back at them (if you can)—since I've recently lost all my restraint and, frankly, don't actually care to find it. Who is supposed to be considerate here anyway; me toward them, or them toward me? Honestly. 🙂