What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

Roger Grant84 said:My mother-in-law lives states away, so I’m dodging those specific headaches, but this topic still totally struck a chord with me.
It drives me nuts when I answer a question about what we're naming the baby (and let's face it, I'll be sick of that question soon enough 😁), only to get a reaction like, "Oh my god, nooo, that was the name of some girl in my middle school who always had a runny nose!" Seriously, who cares about their random childhood memories when it comes to picking a name?!
Big thanks to everyone for all the "constructive" advice you're so generously showering on a poor soul like me who clearly hasn't a clue. 🙄

😂

Roger Grant84 said:My mother-in-law lives states away, so I’m dodging those specific headaches, but this topic still totally struck a chord with me.
It drives me nuts when I answer a question about what we're naming the baby (and let's face it, I'll be sick of that question soon enough 😁), only to get a reaction like, "Oh my god, nooo, that was the name of some girl in my middle school who always had a runny nose!" Seriously, who cares about their random childhood memories when it comes to picking a name?!
Big thanks to everyone for all the "constructive" advice you're so generously showering on a poor soul like me who clearly hasn't a clue. 🙄

I already left a comment on my mother-in-law's post: she's not going to like the name anyway because it's the same name as that neighbor she's constantly feuding with.

Roger Grant84 said:My mother-in-law lives states away, so I’m dodging those specific headaches, but this topic still totally struck a chord with me.
It drives me nuts when I answer a question about what we're naming the baby (and let's face it, I'll be sick of that question soon enough 😁), only to get a reaction like, "Oh my god, nooo, that was the name of some girl in my middle school who always had a runny nose!" Seriously, who cares about their random childhood memories when it comes to picking a name?!
Big thanks to everyone for all the "constructive" advice you're so generously showering on a poor soul like me who clearly hasn't a clue. 🙄

Ever since the day we told my mother-in-law that we were leaning toward naming him Alexander, she hasn't stopped nagging us about how it sounds too traditional or old-fashioned, constantly checking in to see if we've changed our minds and throwing out a dozen different ideas. We just try to tune her out, but sometimes I feel like I'm really close to losing my cool and giving her a piece of my mind. 🤣 It feels like she's been nitpicking everything from the very beginning, and she only seems happy when things end up going exactly her way.

Linda Wright5 said:I already left a comment on my mother-in-law's post: she's not going to like the name anyway because it's the same name as that neighbor she's constantly feuding with.

Changing names ASAP🧐

🤣

Douglas Thomas8 said:Ever since the day we told my mother-in-law that we were leaning toward naming him Alexander, she hasn't stopped nagging us about how it sounds too traditional or old-fashioned, constantly checking in to see if we've changed our minds and throwing out a dozen different ideas. We just try to tune her out, but sometimes I feel like I'm really close to losing my cool and giving her a piece of my mind. 🤣 It feels like she's been nitpicking everything from the very beginning, and she only seems happy when things end up going exactly her way.

My own mother-in-law actually sat down and drafted a massive list of about a hundred different boy and girl names the second we told her I was pregnant.☕

And then, once I finally told her we were having a girl and gave her the specific name we had chosen, she went ahead and made *another* list—this one with fifty "most beautiful" female names. I have to reiterate: we had already clearly communicated what the name was going to be!🥳

Nathan Kelly said:Look, you shouldn't be quite so hard on her. At the end of the day, she’s just an old lady, much like your own mother 😉

I listen to this debate constantly because I have an unofficial mother-in-law who went absolutely ballistic, and I finally cut her off after trying to handle things nicely several times. Now, I know I'm being subjective, but can someone please explain to me why I shouldn't have done it? My own mother hasn't tried to dictate what I should do or how I should live my life; she hasn't meddled in a single decision regarding my pregnancy so far, nor does she call me to interrogate me about every little detail. Instead, she calls just to ask how I am and how I'm feeling (not asking how big my belly is, if I'm burping too much, or if I've put on weight, etc.). She doesn't call people around town acting like she's the one pregnant—making things up or taking half-truths from others and then acting like a spokesperson for misinformation. She even tried to "slightly" badmouth me, 🙄 (read: I snapped because I couldn't swallow certain things, and that was apparently her way of venting)... she would align herself with my father-in-law to assert her 😲, claiming that once I give birth, she'll be the one in charge of everything and doing this and that (a twenty-minute monologue, mind you, where she isn't actually offering help, but rather insisting on watching the baby so that I lose sight of what my actual role is in this whole situation... I realize I'm 😬 unimportant to her). She avoids telling the truth to my face and acts incredibly sweet, but behind the scenes, it's a complete disaster😁. I don't need someone like that near me during such a sensitive period of my life because she isn't well-intentioned, let alone polite. And above all, she isn't thinking about her grandchildren or their well-being; she is just terribly selfish and trying to heal her own complexes. 🤷 On the other hand, I have my mother, who told us, "You two have your own lives, and we are here if you need us—call and I'll come over, or if you don't, I'll just drop by to clean or whatever else is needed." And believe me, she isn't any less excited about the arrival of a little girl... I just worry that she might start badgering my unmarried partner and try to direct his life, and honestly, after a few hours of that, someone might end up getting thrown out of the house..... We are already middle-aged, established adults, so that aggressive interference shocked me even more...

hiddentiger80 said:I listen to this debate constantly because I have an unofficial mother-in-law who went absolutely ballistic, and I finally cut her off after trying to handle things nicely several times. Now, I know I'm being subjective, but can someone please explain to me why I shouldn't have done it? My own mother hasn't tried to dictate what I should do or how I should live my life; she hasn't meddled in a single decision regarding my pregnancy so far, nor does she call me to interrogate me about every little detail. Instead, she calls just to ask how I am and how I'm feeling (not asking how big my belly is, if I'm burping too much, or if I've put on weight, etc.). She doesn't call people around town acting like she's the one pregnant—making things up or taking half-truths from others and then acting like a spokesperson for misinformation. She even tried to "slightly" badmouth me, 🙄 (read: I snapped because I couldn't swallow certain things, and that was apparently her way of venting)... she would align herself with my father-in-law to assert her 😲, claiming that once I give birth, she'll be the one in charge of everything and doing this and that (a twenty-minute monologue, mind you, where she isn't actually offering help, but rather insisting on watching the baby so that I lose sight of what my actual role is in this whole situation... I realize I'm 😬 unimportant to her). She avoids telling the truth to my face and acts incredibly sweet, but behind the scenes, it's a complete disaster😁. I don't need someone like that near me during such a sensitive period of my life because she isn't well-intentioned, let alone polite. And above all, she isn't thinking about her grandchildren or their well-being; she is just terribly selfish and trying to heal her own complexes. 🤷 On the other hand, I have my mother, who told us, "You two have your own lives, and we are here if you need us—call and I'll come over, or if you don't, I'll just drop by to clean or whatever else is needed." And believe me, she isn't any less excited about the arrival of a little girl... I just worry that she might start badgering my unmarried partner and try to direct his life, and honestly, after a few hours of that, someone might end up getting thrown out of the house..... We are already middle-aged, established adults, so that aggressive interference shocked me even more...

You can limit how much time she spends with the baby, but at the end of the day, that woman raised your husband, and she is going to be the grandmother to your child—like it or not.

I honestly don't understand how your husbands turned out so wonderful despite growing up with such toxic people? 🤷

feralmoose32 said:You can limit how much time she spends with the baby, but at the end of the day, that woman raised your husband, and she is going to be the grandmother to your child—like it or not.

I honestly don't understand how your husbands turned out so wonderful despite growing up with such toxic people? 🤷

I knew someone would say something like that, and I get the sentiment, but there is one specific detail that changes everything. Despite having plenty of money, a decent house, a solid marriage, and a full-time job, this woman still sent her son away from their prosperous suburb to live with his grandparents out in the sticks. Even though she gave birth to him, she'd just drive out to visit him on the weekends while he was actually being raised by his grandfather and grandmother. I truly believe that's where the real issue lies; she's just trying to clear her own conscience and wash her hands of the past... There is so much more to it, but I won't go into all the details here...

The way she manipulates her other child (the one who was raised by a different set of grandparents) absolutely makes my blood boil...

Sure, visitation is one thing, but manipulation is quite another....

Well, 😬

In your case, I think it's more of an outlier... and honestly, Grandma might just need to step back and let Mom take the lead for a bit

I mean, you really just have to be firm with her—you know? Just set those clear boundaries about who’s running the show... distinguishing between what a mother does and what a grandmother does... if you can establish those lines, everything could still work out just fine within reasonable limits

feralmoose32 said:You can limit how much time she spends with the baby, but at the end of the day, that woman raised your husband, and she is going to be the grandmother to your child—like it or not.

I honestly don't understand how your husbands turned out so wonderful despite growing up with such toxic people? 🤷

I find myself wondering the same thing all the time. I am incredibly grateful to my own mother for the man she raised.
Even though we are worlds apart in almost every way, she loves me and I love her, regardless of our massive differences in culture, religion, politics, and everything else.
She gets so excited about the baby that I truly can't find it in me to hold anything against her.

@feralmoose32
I really wish I could say the same, but unfortunately, my experience with the song has been the exact opposite. No matter how much we begged them not to do it, they did precisely what we asked them not to... which resulted in my child almost getting run over by a car (not exactly a coincidence, considering they just left him tied up right there on the shoulder of the highway without a single thought...). And don't even get me started on the fact that even today, they still claim it's their song 😢—I wouldn't leave it with them for a single second longer. To this day, they act like what they did was perfectly fine and that the fault lies with the song itself; they've never once offered an apology, shown any remorse, or admitted they completely screwed up. How on earth am I supposed to trust them with my child 🙄

Why on earth would I leave my kid with her? I’ve never left my little one alone with my mother-in-law because I just don't trust her. She's totally clumsy and she's already hurt my baby a few times just by being careless. There is zero chance she's ever babysitting,

With all due respect, we eventually run into that classic scenario where someone would leave their kid with their own family instead of some stranger... they'll throw a massive tantrum about it, even if everything was perfectly fine before, especially if health issues or other complications hit... It hurts to see, but I know his conscience is going to eat him alive regarding his son, and he isn't made of stone either... and I just get it, at the end of the day, she's his mother...

hiddentiger80 said:With all due respect, we eventually run into that classic scenario where someone would leave their kid with their own family instead of some stranger... they'll throw a massive tantrum about it, even if everything was perfectly fine before, especially if health issues or other complications hit... It hurts to see, but I know his conscience is going to eat him alive regarding his son, and he isn't made of stone either... and I just get it, at the end of the day, she's his mother...

Mine will do the same. But hopefully, the welfare of their fragile children will eventually outweigh their mother's mental health—which, frankly, is already a disaster if they're resorting to these methods... ☕

To be blunt: I wouldn't be surprised if my own child tried to force-feed me a bottle. As unbelievable as that sounds. 😢.

Anyone who hasn't dealt with someone like this truly has no idea. 😢.

And regarding that logic—just because she gave birth to him doesn't mean he's a good man. Even murderers have children, and those children aren't necessarily killers.🤷

Angela Davis74 said:Mine will do the same. But hopefully, the welfare of their fragile children will eventually outweigh their mother's mental health—which, frankly, is already a disaster if they're resorting to these methods... ☕

To be blunt: I wouldn't be surprised if my own child tried to force-feed me a bottle. As unbelievable as that sounds. 😢.

Anyone who hasn't dealt with someone like this truly has no idea. 😢.

And regarding that logic—just because she gave birth to him doesn't mean he's a good man. Even murderers have children, and those children aren't necessarily killers.🤷

I’m looking at this from an outside perspective, knowing he’s her son, so I’m sure he doesn't think she actually intends to harm the child—I don't think that either. But he really needs to see past his own selfishness, his stubbornness, and that hint of malice... and realizing that is incredibly difficult. For instance, you tell someone, "Don't feed the dog scraps from the table," and they look you straight in the eye and feed him anyway (they know better, they have their own pet, so I won't get into manners or upbringing 🙄), and then they just start doing it behind your back. And then you realize they clearly have this issue where they always have to be right and know best. So you ask again, explaining, "Look, I'm disciplining him for this, so please don't encourage behavior that's going to get him punished here" (you just think to yourself, damn, I guess they just don't care about the dog)... but there's no discussion. In the end—and this is the truth—you find out the dog gets an allergy or diarrhea from all that junk from the table, and guess what? They keep doing it, just more sneakily, while the dog's body doesn't lie when it ends up sick 😁. The worst part of this whole ordeal is that I didn't truly realize who I was dealing with until the dog moved in (I won't even get started on the mistreatment regarding the dog or the lessons learned...) and now, with the pregnancy, things are escalating, and I am genuinely terrified of what happens once I give birth 🙂... I'm scared they'll be dead 😬... and honestly, the most infuriating thing is the total irrationality of these people; from the outside, it looks ridiculous and insane, especially considering our age and education level (and I mean that regarding the dog, but also other health issues for the kids...) so I have made my decision 🙂... even if I end up losing my head, they will stop 😬

Man, reading all this just makes me feel kind of bummed out. My mother-in-law is actually incredibly sweet to me. Look, obviously we all have our own partners and lives, but we always manage to talk things through—it's never a huge drama—and she’s always there when we need an extra hand or some advice. It's the same deal with my mom, too. She basically told me she isn't trying to play God or micromanage our lives; she gets that times change, and the old-school ways they used to do things just don't fly anymore. She said she'll follow our lead on how we want to handle things.
I've actually realized that whenever they try to poke their noses into our business—even in the smallest way—we just shut it down calmly and give them a solid reason why. Since we actually respect each other, there's never any real blowback or fighting.

Arthur Newman77 said:Man, reading all this just makes me feel kind of bummed out. My mother-in-law is actually incredibly sweet to me. Look, obviously we all have our own partners and lives, but we always manage to talk things through—it's never a huge drama—and she’s always there when we need an extra hand or some advice. It's the same deal with my mom, too. She basically told me she isn't trying to play God or micromanage our lives; she gets that times change, and the old-school ways they used to do things just don't fly anymore. She said she'll follow our lead on how we want to handle things.
I've actually realized that whenever they try to poke their noses into our business—even in the smallest way—we just shut it down calmly and give them a solid reason why. Since we actually respect each other, there's never any real blowback or fighting.

This is the most important part. If you don't have that foundation, none of the advice in the world will help.
It's good to see someone else feels this way. Even though I won't agree with my mom or my mother-in-law on everything, I still give them a chance to speak, and then I just calmly explain my side of things.

ironjackal20 said:This is the most important part. If you don't have that foundation, none of the advice in the world will help.
It's good to see someone else feels this way. Even though I won't agree with my mom or my mother-in-law on everything, I still give them a chance to speak, and then I just calmly explain my side of things.

Preach.

1. It honestly caught me off guard how rude and condescending some older folks can be, especially certain old guys... one dude on the bus actually had the nerve to tell me I was basically asking for it since I'm pregnant 😁

2. And then there's how some shops just completely ignore their "priority seating" or pregnancy policies, even when it's clearly posted right there...

3. On the flip side, I've been so impressed by how polite the younger crowd has been lately—on the street, in the grocery store, even on the subway...

4. It’s also funny how much more considerate some men are being compared to certain ladies out there...

Christian Newman85 said:1. It honestly caught me off guard how rude and condescending some older folks can be, especially certain old guys... one dude on the bus actually had the nerve to tell me I was basically asking for it since I'm pregnant 😁

2. And then there's how some shops just completely ignore their "priority seating" or pregnancy policies, even when it's clearly posted right there...

3. On the flip side, I've been so impressed by how polite the younger crowd has been lately—on the street, in the grocery store, even on the subway...

4. It’s also funny how much more considerate some men are being compared to certain ladies out there...

Exactly 😁 I actually had one instance where I was skipped right over in line, and this man actually pulled me ahead and even scolded her, asking what she was waiting for with such a huge bump 🤣 Not to mention that one rude woman at Target with her cart overflowing to the brim, who just completely ignored me while I was standing there with only three items in my hands. Then yesterday, someone actually had the nerve to ask if she could go before me 😁 As if... she only had one single thing to buy...