What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

driftingcrane83 said:Roger Rodriguez, there’s a wide spectrum here. Roughly speaking, I feel like we older moms—I'm 34 myself—especially those of us having our first, are in a slightly different life stage than you guys at 25. Isn't it perfectly understandable that the stress levels hit you much harder?

I can’t even imagine being pregnant at 25. 😁 So, hats off to you all. Keep pushing forward.

I'm currently pregnant and I'm 25 (turning 26 soon), and honestly, it isn't a stressor for me at all. I've always loved kids and wanted to have a little baby as soon as possible; we actually just got married and were lucky enough to conceive right away.

I read this forum occasionally and see a lot of pregnant women who seem constantly stressed out or on edge, and I don't really get why... I'm happier than ever because my biggest wish came true, so I don't understand how other women aren't just relaxed and happy. There are some who are, but from what I read, they seem pretty rare...

It really comes down to priorities. Age doesn't matter if you planned for this and actually want to be a parent. That’s the bottom line.
If this had happened to me earlier, I would have been completely livid. It wasn't about money; it was because I just didn't feel the need for a child. Motherhood was never my thing.

My point was simply this: women who don't view parenthood as a top priority—or even a tenth of their life—usually mature into motherhood later on, if they ever do at all.

Plus, according to various studies, children of older parents tend to be more intelligent on average. It’s often because people are more educated by the time they reach that stage of life.
Don't take me too literally or try to overcomplicate things. There's obviously a massive range of experiences here. There are downsides to being an older parent, sure. But if there are perks, there are clearly enough to talk about.

driftingcrane83 said:It really comes down to priorities. Age doesn't matter if you planned for this and actually want to be a parent. That’s the bottom line.
If this had happened to me earlier, I would have been completely livid. It wasn't about money; it was because I just didn't feel the need for a child. Motherhood was never my thing.

My point was simply this: women who don't view parenthood as a top priority—or even a tenth of their life—usually mature into motherhood later on, if they ever do at all.

Plus, according to various studies, children of older parents tend to be more intelligent on average. It’s often because people are more educated by the time they reach that stage of life.
Don't take me too literally or try to overcomplicate things. There's obviously a massive range of experiences here. There are downsides to being an older parent, sure. But if there are perks, there are clearly enough to talk about.

So basically, my kid will be stupid too? 🙂 🙂 🙂
😬
I actually agree with what you're saying. Age isn't the deciding factor; if you aren't ready to be a parent at a certain age, then the number doesn't matter, though it can definitely impact your mood and behavior during and after Pregnancy.
I didn't plan on having a child either—I never even gave it much thought (I actually wanted to adopt since my family isn't exactly my cup of tea)—but now that it's happening, I realize I don't have the luxury of waiting for "motherly instincts" to magically appear; I have to force myself into it within a few months.
To be honest, I’m more stressed about everything that happens *after* the birth than the actual pregnancy itself. I can handle the nausea, the heartburn, the near-disability from sciatica, the blood pressure issues, the tears, the contractions, and the fears—that all passes eventually. But after the delivery, I won't get six months or a year of blissfully bonding with a baby and worrying about bottles and strollers; I'll have maybe two weeks to recover before I'm back at college studying. And then there's the constant worry about whether the nanny is actually reliable.
I'm not happy because I know that after the struggle of labor, I won't be heading home to enjoy time with my baby, but rather straight into more stress and constant separation.
And for the record, I'm still not buying into the myth that everything just snaps back to normal afterward. 🙂

wiredranger10 said:I'm currently pregnant and I'm 25 (turning 26 soon), and honestly, it isn't a stressor for me at all. I've always loved kids and wanted to have a little baby as soon as possible; we actually just got married and were lucky enough to conceive right away.

I read this forum occasionally and see a lot of pregnant women who seem constantly stressed out or on edge, and I don't really get why... I'm happier than ever because my biggest wish came true, so I don't understand how other women aren't just relaxed and happy. There are some who are, but from what I read, they seem pretty rare...

I am 27 years old and I do not feel at all too young to have a child (though some would argue I am already reaching the limit 🤣)
My partner and I have been together for nearly seven years, and we had fully intended to marry and start a family within a year; the fact that this occurred a year or two ahead of schedule does not pose a significant issue for me.
I did somewhat struggle with my university studies, changing majors and stretching my degree to its absolute limits.
However, I ought to manage to resolve those academic matters before the baby arrives so as not to create complications.
Regarding housing, we had not yet secured a permanent residence, but we are making gradual progress with the assistance of both our sets of parents.
Neither of us currently holds steady employment, but we are coordinating various ways to generate income (for instance, since I ceased smoking and social outings following the onset of my Pregnancy, I have managed to save some funds).

In short, while this is undoubtedly a high-pressure period—being 23 weeks along while attempting to finish my degree and prepare for the infant—it is precisely because of the baby that I attempt to remain composed and avoid unnecessary anxiety. Naturally, I am not always successful, but I do not consider myself one of those perpetually irritable or moody expectant mothers.😁

Edit: My primary, perhaps even solitary, source of stress is my weight; I have gained 10 kg.
Every time I step on the scale, I undergo a period of intense distress, primarily because I have historically struggled with weight gain.
The last time I allowed myself to "relax," I gained roughly 20 kg, and it took me two full years to lose it.
I have no desire to endure that process again, particularly as the weight seems to accumulate effortlessly now, despite no noticeable increase in my food intake.

Roger Rodriguez said:So basically, my kid will be stupid too? 🙂 🙂 🙂
😬
I actually agree with what you're saying. Age isn't the deciding factor; if you aren't ready to be a parent at a certain age, then the number doesn't matter, though it can definitely impact your mood and behavior during and after Pregnancy.
I didn't plan on having a child either—I never even gave it much thought (I actually wanted to adopt since my family isn't exactly my cup of tea)—but now that it's happening, I realize I don't have the luxury of waiting for "motherly instincts" to magically appear; I have to force myself into it within a few months.
To be honest, I’m more stressed about everything that happens *after* the birth than the actual pregnancy itself. I can handle the nausea, the heartburn, the near-disability from sciatica, the blood pressure issues, the tears, the contractions, and the fears—that all passes eventually. But after the delivery, I won't get six months or a year of blissfully bonding with a baby and worrying about bottles and strollers; I'll have maybe two weeks to recover before I'm back at college studying. And then there's the constant worry about whether the nanny is actually reliable.
I'm not happy because I know that after the struggle of labor, I won't be heading home to enjoy time with my baby, but rather straight into more stress and constant separation.
And for the record, I'm still not buying into the myth that everything just snaps back to normal afterward. 🙂

I'm sorry, but— 😲😲😲
we are living in the 21st century... with every single advanced form of birth control available to us, I honestly can't wrap my head around how you let something happen that you didn't even want, and then you're telling me you have to *force* yourself to love your own child...
I really wish I could unread that...

Keith Allen4 said:I'm sorry, but— 😲😲😲
we are living in the 21st century... with every single advanced form of birth control available to us, I honestly can't wrap my head around how you let something happen that you didn't even want, and then you're telling me you have to *force* yourself to love your own child...
I really wish I could unread that...

Why aren't you reading for comprehension? Could you please bold the part of my post where I actually said I have to force myself to love my own child? Otherwise, I’m going to assume this is just a really poor attempt at trolling.
I don't want to go too far off-topic, but for me, motherhood isn't just about giving love to a child; it's also about taking on new responsibilities, shifting priorities, and creating an environment where a child can be raised safely and normally. There are people who probably don't give this much thought, but I do because I want to provide my child with a good, stable life. I'm not in a position where everything is set; I literally have a few months to overhaul everything I need to change, whereas some women are lucky enough to have their lives mostly planned out, so they don't have to stress over these things because everything fell into place right when it was supposed to. So, where on earth did you read that I don't truly love my child? I was simply trying to say that I have to build everything from the ground up very quickly, while someone else (who perhaps planned better) already had it all sorted before getting pregnant and doesn't have to deal with this level of stress.

Roger Rodriguez, stop telling me my kid’s gonna turn out slow.😉My 12-year-old is actually freaking brilliant—definitely smarter than I ever was, to be honest.😉I had him when I was just 22. In my book, you’re never truly "ready" to be a parent, but whether I was 22 or 34, that excitement for the baby stays the same. It’s a grind, don't get me wrong, but it’s beautiful.🙂
And honestly? Post-baby sex? For us, things actually felt better down there afterward.🙂
Look, balancing college and a newborn is going to be a massive headache. Seriously, grab anyone and everyone around you to help out so you can actually breathe and enjoy the moment while you can.

Roger Rodriguez said:So basically, my kid will be stupid too? 🙂 🙂 🙂
😬
I actually agree with what you're saying. Age isn't the deciding factor; if you aren't ready to be a parent at a certain age, then the number doesn't matter, though it can definitely impact your mood and behavior during and after Pregnancy.
I didn't plan on having a child either—I never even gave it much thought (I actually wanted to adopt since my family isn't exactly my cup of tea)—but now that it's happening, I realize I don't have the luxury of waiting for "motherly instincts" to magically appear; I have to force myself into it within a few months.
To be honest, I’m more stressed about everything that happens *after* the birth than the actual pregnancy itself. I can handle the nausea, the heartburn, the near-disability from sciatica, the blood pressure issues, the tears, the contractions, and the fears—that all passes eventually. But after the delivery, I won't get six months or a year of blissfully bonding with a baby and worrying about bottles and strollers; I'll have maybe two weeks to recover before I'm back at college studying. And then there's the constant worry about whether the nanny is actually reliable.
I'm not happy because I know that after the struggle of labor, I won't be heading home to enjoy time with my baby, but rather straight into more stress and constant separation.
And for the record, I'm still not buying into the myth that everything just snaps back to normal afterward. 🙂

🤣
🙂

Those feelings just hit you naturally the moment you see them. At least, that’s what my friends told me after having similar experiences.

To be honest, I’ve never been much of a baby person, and dealing with the chaos of kids was never really my thing.☕
But when I think about my own child? Everything changes.

Roger Rodriguez said:Why aren't you reading for comprehension? Could you please bold the part of my post where I actually said I have to force myself to love my own child? Otherwise, I’m going to assume this is just a really poor attempt at trolling.
I don't want to go too far off-topic, but for me, motherhood isn't just about giving love to a child; it's also about taking on new responsibilities, shifting priorities, and creating an environment where a child can be raised safely and normally. There are people who probably don't give this much thought, but I do because I want to provide my child with a good, stable life. I'm not in a position where everything is set; I literally have a few months to overhaul everything I need to change, whereas some women are lucky enough to have their lives mostly planned out, so they don't have to stress over these things because everything fell into place right when it was supposed to. So, where on earth did you read that I don't truly love my child? I was simply trying to say that I have to build everything from the ground up very quickly, while someone else (who perhaps planned better) already had it all sorted before getting pregnant and doesn't have to deal with this level of stress.

You actually admitted that you have to force yourself to feel those maternal instincts...
It’s sad that people like that exist—though, honestly, "sad" isn't even the right word—it's more that I find it completely incomprehensible... the idea that someone would ever have to manufacture an emotional connection regarding their own child 😲

Keith Allen4 said:You actually admitted that you have to force yourself to feel those maternal instincts...
It’s sad that people like that exist—though, honestly, "sad" isn't even the right word—it's more that I find it completely incomprehensible... the idea that someone would ever have to manufacture an emotional connection regarding their own child 😲

Don't be so quick to judge her. We aren't all wired the same way. Just because she hasn't fully processed everything yet doesn't mean she won't feel it later.

What would you say to women who choose abortion? 😲

Nobody is judging me here—not even her—for what I said or how I handled things... It’s just completely incomprehensible to me, and honestly, I have every right to speak my mind. I say what I think to everyone, plain and simple. 😉

Keith Allen4 said:You actually admitted that you have to force yourself to feel those maternal instincts...
It’s sad that people like that exist—though, honestly, "sad" isn't even the right word—it's more that I find it completely incomprehensible... the idea that someone would ever have to manufacture an emotional connection regarding their own child 😲

Look, I don't really have the energy for an argument. If it makes things easier for you, I'll just say it: I don't love my child, and I'm prepared to burn in hell for it.
Honestly, people like this just drive me up the wall. Don't they realize how frustrating they can be?

driftingcrane83 said:Don't be so quick to judge her. We aren't all wired the same way. Just because she hasn't fully processed everything yet doesn't mean she won't feel it later.

What would you say to women who choose abortion? 😲

What would you say to my boyfriend? He thinks he’s going to be traumatized if he sees the baby covered in that newborn vernix when they're born, claiming the kid will look like they crawled straight out of hell. 😢

Keith Allen4 said:I'm sorry, but— 😲😲😲
we are living in the 21st century... with every single advanced form of birth control available to us, I honestly can't wrap my head around how you let something happen that you didn't even want, and then you're telling me you have to *force* yourself to love your own child...
I really wish I could unread that...

I think you completely misunderstood Scott Rodriguez2's post.
In my view, there is such a thing as building love over time. For example, you might not feel an instant spark with your husband the moment you meet him; instead, that affection grows steadily.
It’s the same with a baby. That's why we carry them for nine months—to prepare ourselves and build that connection. But the deepest bond often happens during birth and in the days immediately following.

Roger Rodriguez said:Look, I don't really have the energy for an argument. If it makes things easier for you, I'll just say it: I don't love my child, and I'm prepared to burn in hell for it.
Honestly, people like this just drive me up the wall. Don't they realize how frustrating they can be?

What would you say to my boyfriend? He thinks he’s going to be traumatized if he sees the baby covered in that newborn vernix when they're born, claiming the kid will look like they crawled straight out of hell. 😢

😂😂

Honestly, I've had the exact same thought myself. It's not like he's going to be gold-plated or anything, but still...😁

Look, I love my little guy, but let's be real: it isn't exactly a beautiful sight. 🤷

Roger Rodriguez said:Look, I don't really have the energy for an argument. If it makes things easier for you, I'll just say it: I don't love my child, and I'm prepared to burn in hell for it.
Honestly, people like this just drive me up the wall. Don't they realize how frustrating they can be?

What would you say to my boyfriend? He thinks he’s going to be traumatized if he sees the baby covered in that newborn vernix when they're born, claiming the kid will look like they crawled straight out of hell. 😢

😂

There'll be enough stomach-churning material to go around. 😛

Roger Rodriguez said:Why aren't you reading for comprehension? Could you please bold the part of my post where I actually said I have to force myself to love my own child? Otherwise, I’m going to assume this is just a really poor attempt at trolling.
I don't want to go too far off-topic, but for me, motherhood isn't just about giving love to a child; it's also about taking on new responsibilities, shifting priorities, and creating an environment where a child can be raised safely and normally. There are people who probably don't give this much thought, but I do because I want to provide my child with a good, stable life. I'm not in a position where everything is set; I literally have a few months to overhaul everything I need to change, whereas some women are lucky enough to have their lives mostly planned out, so they don't have to stress over these things because everything fell into place right when it was supposed to. So, where on earth did you read that I don't truly love my child? I was simply trying to say that I have to build everything from the ground up very quickly, while someone else (who perhaps planned better) already had it all sorted before getting pregnant and doesn't have to deal with this level of stress.

Supergirl, keep going, I completely hear where you're coming from... Just because a pregnancy wasn't planned doesn't mean you can't get those things you mentioned sorted before the baby arrives. Maybe instead of putting it off, this is actually the perfect moment to finally get moving, right?
Well, I'm 31, and if I had been able to have a child sooner, I certainly would have... This is just happening now that certain foundations are being laid (marriage, a home, a career), though that doesn't mean the work hasn't been hard... It isn't a matter of being smarter or less intelligent—it's just that if you haven't handled these things by now, you handle them now, because once the baby is actually here, it's much easier if you aren't simultaneously scrambling to figure those things out. On the other hand, courage is a virtue, and I truly believe you're going to provide the absolute best for your baby... along with plenty of love...

Roger Rodriguez said:Look, I don't really have the energy for an argument. If it makes things easier for you, I'll just say it: I don't love my child, and I'm prepared to burn in hell for it.
Honestly, people like this just drive me up the wall. Don't they realize how frustrating they can be?

What would you say to my boyfriend? He thinks he’s going to be traumatized if he sees the baby covered in that newborn vernix when they're born, claiming the kid will look like they crawled straight out of hell. 😢

Dammit, you aren't even a factor in my life.

People like Keith Allen4 always jump in just to stir the pot because they can't stand things being peaceful for five minutes.😛
Ugh, honestly, S.C., you know how it goes—it's always those women, right? The "perfect" moms who are all smiles from the first trimester until the day they deliver, breastfeeding without a single hitch, living in pristine houses, never raising their voices at the kids, and basically posing for a cover shoot for Vogue at any given second.😉Just block them and move on.☕
Trust me, you’ll have those moments where you’re questioning everything—like, why did I even do this? Like, wouldn't it be easier to just toss the husband and the kid out the window and run away? But even then, nothing is ever going to change how much you love that baby. It’s all going to work out. For me, Tin was an absolute dream from the moment he arrived.😍

Susan Edwards8 said:People like Keith Allen4 always jump in just to stir the pot because they can't stand things being peaceful for five minutes.😛
Ugh, honestly, S.C., you know how it goes—it's always those women, right? The "perfect" moms who are all smiles from the first trimester until the day they deliver, breastfeeding without a single hitch, living in pristine houses, never raising their voices at the kids, and basically posing for a cover shoot for Vogue at any given second.😉Just block them and move on.☕
Trust me, you’ll have those moments where you’re questioning everything—like, why did I even do this? Like, wouldn't it be easier to just toss the husband and the kid out the window and run away? But even then, nothing is ever going to change how much you love that baby. It’s all going to work out. For me, Tin was an absolute dream from the moment he arrived.😍

Well, I guess you aren't exactly a regular fixture around here either, are you?🤷

Susan Edwards8 said:People like Keith Allen4 always jump in just to stir the pot because they can't stand things being peaceful for five minutes.😛
Ugh, honestly, S.C., you know how it goes—it's always those women, right? The "perfect" moms who are all smiles from the first trimester until the day they deliver, breastfeeding without a single hitch, living in pristine houses, never raising their voices at the kids, and basically posing for a cover shoot for Vogue at any given second.😉Just block them and move on.☕
Trust me, you’ll have those moments where you’re questioning everything—like, why did I even do this? Like, wouldn't it be easier to just toss the husband and the kid out the window and run away? But even then, nothing is ever going to change how much you love that baby. It’s all going to work out. For me, Tin was an absolute dream from the moment he arrived.😍

😂😂😂 I'm with you on this! I've had the exact same thoughts several times already because of everything waiting for me... but I also think once the baby actually arrives and the emotions kick in, it'll just happen naturally.

Sorry for the tangent: I wouldn't call her smiling; I'd say she's more of a grouch.😁