308 posts shown.
Brian Moore67 said:Look, I wasn't just blindly 🙂
As soon as I touch down in America, I’m heading straight over... I'll need a massive bed or a huge mattress, some candles, a quiet room. I've got this new method involving hypnotic suggestion—it's absolutely wild. Anyway, you'll see.
Deal... but I gotta warn you... if that "hypnotic suggestion" thing means stuff like: my ego is massive... your eyelids are getting heavy... I'm a total genius... let me tell you right now, that kind of therapy is totally useless to me. 😢 😁
Brian Moore67 said:Those girls are just there to clock in and out. I wouldn't even bring them into the mix. Look, I’m a believer in sex being built on actual romantic love. How the hell is anyone supposed to catch feelings when you spend five minutes explaining "vacuum the rug, wash the windows, iron the laundry"?
Besides, why do we care what he thinks? The guy doesn't know the first thing about an orgasm. He's just doing that typical old-school, low-effort routine... just going through the motions in the dark...
Man, what's wrong with going through the motions? 😍
Brian, I know exactly how we'll settle this. You come over to the States and give me a live demonstration of that... what do you call it... that whole orgasm thing. If it's actually good, I'll agree to a second wife. Fair enough?
TangerineC2 said:Look, if you honestly think it’s okay to build monuments to militi budak and juriti Francetica while they hang out with people like you, then I am seriously glad I’ll never be on your side of the fence... as for what "normal" even means, we could talk about it for 😉 without ever getting anywhere.
Man, you really are the luckiest guy on the planet, aren't you? 😁
Brian Moore67 said:You two just work it out... I don't care how you do it, as long as you're both getting what you need...
Look, here’s the plan. Since she’s a dev just like me—and let’s be real, devs in Silicon Valley make insane money—she and I are gonna hire some cheap help to handle all the cleaning and cooking (we can find people for like $5 an hour, total steal). My job? I'll be the one teaching you guys the secrets of a Kabbalistic orgasm. And sex? Yeah, clearly a threesome. It's way more fun that way. You down for the deal?
So, did you read the story? What'd you think?
Oh come on, Brian... you managed to squeeze seven Filipinkas into this plan, but you can't even land one jalnuški 🙄 😁
Noah Hall82 said:He seems to think Keith James812's grandpa got screwed back in '45, but hey, don't let that ruin your cozy little hangout with him. Even though, surprise surprise, he hasn't changed his old man's views one single inch. It’s just so incredibly "cool," I’m practically swooning... 😉
Look, regular people don't have a problem with other regular people, Orlando... but you? No matter where you're from, you're always gonna be on the wrong side of this. 😁
shadowjackal88 said:Uhh... actually, maybe I should start charging for this advice... specifically, I’m adding a few fine-print clauses involving olives, knives, polygamy, and a trip to Key West 😉...
Anything goes, except polygamy. That's off the table. 😁
Actually, wait... it totally works... as long as we split up the chores. She handles the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry... and I handle the sex, the nights out, and the travel. 😁
Brian Moore67 said:Look, I don't know about you, but I don't have those kinds of inclinations. Besides, I distinctly remember that whole thing with you two shoving tongues down throats and getting handsy... and math has some similar vibes going on... It turned into this massive saga she claims is totally legit. Honestly? I think you two would get along famously just playing tongue-wrestling.
math baby is a total Democratic Party hack... there's no way I'm getting intimate with someone who actually voted for Bill Clinton. 🙂 😁
shadowjackal88 said:Let me give you some free advice... served with a side of olives.
Yeah, sure, whatever... but I think I see where I went wrong here. Did you ever actually get breastfed? No, right?😁
UmpaUmpa said:No mainstream group out there is going to recognize that kind of double-dealing.
Oh, so you're giving me permission now? First, we bring out the knives. A deal's a deal.
Knives? Are you kidding me, Umpa... you know I have a massive phobia of kitchen utensils. 😢
And why can't we just pull another guy into the marriage? Seriously, have you ever seen what happens when an American girl raised in the church finally gets let off the leash? 😁
shadowjackal88 said:Can't even complain... unlike most other forums out there, this place actually works.😁
Must be nice... my life is a complete train wreck right now. Zero discipline, nothing. One guy even bailed on me completely... last I heard, he was spotted somewhere down in Canada, and that’s the end of the trail.😁 😁
Brian Moore67 said:Look, you don't need to love anyone, you hear me? 🙂
Well, I'm not telling you.
Aaaaah... so this kind of bigamy doesn't sit right with you, huh? What about the old man?😁
Some guy from Jersey asked me to marry him, but I told him I couldn't give him an answer until I got the green light from you first... 😎
Susan Jones2 said:I’m a hardliner, my old man was a Communist.
I swear on Jesus Christ, I’m gonna lose it!
What can you even do, my dear Phoenix... like father, like son.😁
shadowjackal88 said:🤣
Can anyone actually see my IP address when I reply to a post 😁?
Hey shadowjackal88... how's it going? How's the job? Are those people you work with actually listening to you for once? 😁>
Susan Jones2 said:.. why don't you just put on a Confederate uniform while you're at it?
Look, I’m a damn rebel and my old man was one too.
It's a family tradition, passed down from father to son. 😁
Vuco said:Well, you’re the expert here, aren't you? 😁
I'm just checking to see if any of you are actually going to tell the truth for once 😁 😁
..seriously 😁 clean out that inbox 😠
Anyway, since I already started this thread... who are you guys actually DMing most often?😁
I remember this one time I was staying at my grandma’s place, trying to cram for some massive exam. It was maybe five in the morning when she stumbled out of her room, saw me still awake and buried in books, and goes:
"Honey, for the love of God, put those textbooks down before you lose your mind..."
So I look up at her and ask:
"Why, Grandma? You think I'm gonna start thinking like Einstein?"
She just looks at me and says:
"Heck no, more like Marie Curie... and your mother used to tell you all the time, 'Get married, girl! Once you hit thirty, your looks fade and nobody's gonna want you.' Well, look at me now—I'm basically a crazy old lady pacing the house and slamming away at this computer all night long!"
velvetgull9 said:What’s the point of having friends then? 🙄 🙄 😁
😍
Seriously? You're actually gonna get me books?? Man, this is better than sex. 😍
James Lewis4 said:WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH HAA HA HA HA! HA HA!! HA HA!! 🙏 🙏 🙏
😠 😠 😠
(storms into the bathroom and grabs some CLR & Rust)
"Standard cleaners don't stand a chance against buildup this thick. CLR & Rust tears through limescale and rust on all these surfaces:
chrome fixtures
stainless steel
tiles and semi-glazed porcelain
glass, plastic, ceramic, and even porcelainware
👍
You really stepped in it this time, Quincy... I'm going to go take a shower, but mark my words: you're getting banned before midnight :2up:
Talking about moderators? Please. There’s nothing new or groundbreaking about those guys under the hood... You’ve probably binged a thousand movies about secret societies, initiations, and virgins hanging out with hooded figures in dark alleys. 🙄
Look, you see one—you've seen them all. It’s always the exact same recycled nonsense.
But hey, if you want my two cents... you know me. As a staunch conservative, there's no way I would have made the cut unless I was a virgin. And let's be real, finding a virgin these days is like finding a needle in a haystack. So, in my case, the Grand Master decided to turn a blind eye to my, uh, intense political views just to get me through the door.
The thing is, I never actually made it to the initiation ceremony because I convinced him that I am, quite frankly, the real deal. I told him I could feel even the slightest... well, let's just say "movement" beneath a hundred yogis and ceremonial feathers. But anyway, I won't ramble too long. Basically, I sold him on the idea that over time, everything down there had probably already calcified. I even warned him—for his own good, of course—that he might end up seriously injured if he tried anything. So, that’s why I’m still here, allowed to keep ranting about the moderators, while the Grand Master remains skeptical about my "calcified" situation and refuses to pull the trigger on a ban. That’s the whole story. I told you straight up: there’s nothing interesting going on with the mods, so stop wasting your breath and fueling your imagination. 🙄