How do I upload images and videos to the forum?
in Forum Help! ·
...
Home ›
Rebecca Roberts35 › Posts
Posts by Rebecca Roberts35
10 posts shown.
Is it just me, or does anyone else hate people?
in Psychology & Therapy ·
So you don't feel anything for kids in Africa, but you donate out of a sense of obligation? Like, you "don't like people," yet you play the queen of giving advice for the sake of others' well-being?
I don't know what your deal is, but I don't buy that this is a total lack of empathy.
If you truly had zero empathy, you wouldn't give a damn about anyone else. You wouldn't feel any sense of duty toward others at all; everything involving other people would be done purely for your own benefit. And beyond that, you’d be perfectly fine with that lack of empathy, which means this whole thread wouldn't even exist.
Besides, I don't really see the point of this discussion.
You donate to the sick and needy, you give great advice to those around you, you get along fine with your coworkers, you don't feel anything for some non-existent child, and you love your friend and husband. Basically, you function more than adequately.
If we're judging based on the fact that you financially help strangers, I'd say you're actually a step above a huge chunk of the population that doesn't donate a cent to anyone they don't personally know.
As for not liking people who aren't part of your inner circle—well, if that's an issue, then I guess I'm problematic too.🤣
Look, I don't exactly harbor deep affection for my colleagues, most random people, or the lady at the grocery store... I don't carry the vast majority of people around me in my heart. Not really. And they don't carry me either.
I don't know what your deal is, but I don't buy that this is a total lack of empathy.
If you truly had zero empathy, you wouldn't give a damn about anyone else. You wouldn't feel any sense of duty toward others at all; everything involving other people would be done purely for your own benefit. And beyond that, you’d be perfectly fine with that lack of empathy, which means this whole thread wouldn't even exist.
Besides, I don't really see the point of this discussion.
You donate to the sick and needy, you give great advice to those around you, you get along fine with your coworkers, you don't feel anything for some non-existent child, and you love your friend and husband. Basically, you function more than adequately.
If we're judging based on the fact that you financially help strangers, I'd say you're actually a step above a huge chunk of the population that doesn't donate a cent to anyone they don't personally know.
As for not liking people who aren't part of your inner circle—well, if that's an issue, then I guess I'm problematic too.🤣
Look, I don't exactly harbor deep affection for my colleagues, most random people, or the lady at the grocery store... I don't carry the vast majority of people around me in my heart. Not really. And they don't carry me either.
People who rely on lowbrow humor and constant swearing
in Psychology ·
I suppose I can be quite blunt when things are casual and low-key.
You know, shit, fuck, damn.😁
At work, though, I stay strictly professional.
I imagine there’s at least a baseline level of social intelligence required to understand when to speak, how to talk, and where the line for good taste actually lies.
As for that crude, vulgar way some women swear, I reject it entirely. It’s distasteful.🤣
I once had a brief run-in with a guy who told me "it isn't lady-like to swear," even though he was constantly dropping F-bombs with every woman he met.
Honestly, men like that are just Neanderthals.
Pardon my french.
You know, shit, fuck, damn.😁
At work, though, I stay strictly professional.
I imagine there’s at least a baseline level of social intelligence required to understand when to speak, how to talk, and where the line for good taste actually lies.
As for that crude, vulgar way some women swear, I reject it entirely. It’s distasteful.🤣
I once had a brief run-in with a guy who told me "it isn't lady-like to swear," even though he was constantly dropping F-bombs with every woman he met.
Honestly, men like that are just Neanderthals.
Pardon my french.
How do I upload images and videos to the forum?
in Forum Help! ·
I honestly have no clue how to figure out the dimensions of the images I'm pulling from the web to include in my posts, especially since I'm posting from an Android Phone.
If anyone actually knows, please let me know before I lose my mind.😁
If anyone actually knows, please let me know before I lose my mind.😁
How to survive postpartum without any family support?
in Psychology & Therapy ·
feralnomad8 said:Just some thoughts on this... if they hadn't changed, then I guess I have. But there’s such a thing as consideration, you know? Just basic decency and etiquette. That's really what I find myself rambling about all the time.
I mean, looking back, I spent so much time being the one reaching out, you know? Just constantly calling them, checking in... it felt like I was doing all the heavy lifting. But it’s only just hitting me now that it was pretty much one-sided. Not once did anyone actually reach out to ask how I was holding up, or even just check in to see how I was managing everything with the baby. It’s a strange realization to have.
Honestly, nothing in my family is ever quite normal. It’s like my mother is this master manipulator who can bend everyone around her to her will with just a single word—it's wild how she keeps them all spinning. But me? I’m out of her reach. I’ve got my own identity, my own way of looking at things, and I don't let her pull my strings. Everyone else in the house seems to have lost all sense of reality lately. They’re completely obsessed with the material stuff—just constant spending and wasting money like it grows on trees. Meanwhile, I’m over here actually trying to save and build something. It’s like we’re living in two different worlds.
So, my sister... I mean, credit where credit is due, she really thought she was playing the game right. She set her sights on marrying into one of those big, old-money families—you know the type, like the Vanderbilts or something. She just wanted that lifestyle, that security. But then she got pregnant, and well, things went south fast. That wealthy guy? He just walked away. Left her high and dry. It’s funny how life works sometimes, isn't it? You chase the gold standard, thinking you've found the jackpot, but then the whole thing just falls apart like a house of cards. One minute you're at a gala in Manhattan, and the next, you're realizing the foundation was built on nothing but sand.
It’s just... there's this underlying frustration, I guess. It feels like when I was starting from zero—when I didn't have anything to my name and nobody really knew who I was—every little win felt like such a huge deal. Back then, milestones were celebrated. But now that things have actually fallen into place? Now that I've actually achieved those goals? Suddenly, it's like it doesn't even count. It’s treated like it’s nothing special. Like, buying a house outright without a massive mortgage isn't even worth mentioning anymore. People act like it's trivial or just... silly. It’s strange how the goalposts move once you actually reach them.
The truth is, my parents are trying so hard with my sisters—like, they’re giving it everything they've got—but it’s just not clicking. It’s like watching someone try to fix a vintage Mustang engine with nothing but a screwdriver and a prayer; the effort is there, but the results? Not really. And then there’s me. I feel like I actually get it, you know? Like it comes naturally, or at least I'm not constantly hitting a wall. But honestly, saying I'm "good" at it feels like a total lie. It's more like... a complete negation of the word.
It’s the exact same story with my husband. It feels like his two brothers have already decided his fate. They’ve basically written him off—like he’s destined to fail, so they figure they should just liquidate everything they own to build up their own houses. They act like my house isn't even a factor in the equation. And honestly, where does it end? To make matters worse, they actually get angry at him when he tries to teach them a lesson or point out the reality of things. It’s just... it's a lot. Like, his own father never even got to meet his grandson because of all this tension. And then there's the favorite son, who lives twenty miles away from them and hasn't had kids in like ten years, yet they still treat him like the golden child. I just don't get how they can't see what's happening right in front of them.
Do you really experience people so superficially in your life that you actually need them to reach out just for the sake of etiquette or some sterile sense of social decorum? I guess it’s possible. Maybe.
If you had written that you wanted them to reach out because you miss them, or because you actually want them back in your life... I might have understood that. But claiming basic etiquette or politeness is your primary motivation? I guess that's just unlikely.
It seems like it’s less about your ego being bruised by their lack of respect or recognition, and more that you actually just miss them. I guess you genuinely miss their presence. Maybe.
Nothing in my family is ever normal. My mother is a master manipulator; she can bend anyone around her to her will with just a word, but I’m out of her reach. I still have my own identity and my own way of looking at the world. They’ve all lost any sense of reality, I guess. It’s nothing but material things, spending, and pure wastefulness for them. Meanwhile, I save. It’s just not their way.
My sister, bless her heart, thought she could just marry into money. She wanted that high-society life, so she got pregnant. Now, that wealthy guy has already walked away from her. I guess that’s how it goes.
Why even bother wanting people close to you if you don't actually value them? I guess it's just a pointless cycle.
You have a pretty ugly way of looking at your mother and sister.
Maybe you haven't considered that they've frozen you out because they actually sense it. They know. You even told your mother straight to her face what you thought about your sister. I guess they just figured it out.
You judge them quite harshly. I guess people don't exactly go out of their way to socialize with folks who basically despise them and view them as mentally unstable.
There is a certain frustration here. When I had nothing and was nobody, achievements like mine were actually held in high regard. But now that I’ve actually pulled it off—just because things fell into place for me—suddenly it’s not worth mentioning. Now, buying a house outright without a mortgage? Apparently, that's just trivial. Unimportant. Stupid.
The truth is, my parents are desperately trying to hold things together for my sisters, but they’re clearly failing. And me? I guess I’m doing alright, though that feels like a complete lie. It's all just a negation, really.
What kind of advice do you actually expect to lead to success? I guess it's mostly just noise.
Sure, it would have been nice if they’d given you credit. But being this frustrated as an adult just because your parents didn't offer some praise? It isn't exactly mature. I guess.
It seems like you're still stuck in this headspace where you aren't actually living for yourself. I guess you're mostly just performing, trying to impress your parents. Maybe that's just how it is.
I guess it’s perfectly fine if parents end up focusing more on the child who's currently causing the most trouble. It happens. Maybe it's just how things work.
Even if you manage to get a second chance, I guess you still won't truly understand.
You’re all set for them, both physically and mentally. I guess, in their minds, you don't even need that much intense support.
My husband tells me it’s the same old story. Two brothers are basically set for life, while this one is just left to rot. They’d sell everything they own just to build him up, acting like my house isn't even part of the equation. I don't see where this ends. And to top it off, they have the nerve to get angry when he actually tries to teach them a lesson. My dad never even met his grandson. Meanwhile, their little favorite lives twenty miles away and hasn't had kids in ten years. I guess it's hard for them to see any further than that.
I don't follow that last sentence.
Besides, you mentioned that you and your husband already had your child, so I'm not sure why you feel the need to mention what his parents should have provided later on.
Look, I get it—it’s not ideal when elderly parents show favoritism from one day to the next. But if that’s actually the case, it might be time for both of you to just let it go, unless you plan on staying perpetually bitter teenagers.
Regardless of what our own parents were like, once we have children of our own, we have a responsibility to move past our childhood grievances and accept the things we simply cannot change.
Let go of that resentment, and try not to fuel your husband's bitterness either.
Even if it feels unfair that your husband isn't receiving the same material inheritance as his brothers, you have to realize that beyond their basic obligations, parents have every right to manage their assets however they see fit without anyone lecturing them.
How to survive postpartum without any family support?
in Psychology & Therapy ·
As I said before, what changed after delivery wasn't your parents or your husband's parents—it was your own expectations.
It’s just not realistic to claim everything was perfect before, and now suddenly it’s all terrible.
Reading through your posts, there seems to be a certain amount of frustration tied to your sense of inadequacy, and maybe some postpartum hormones playing a part.
Regarding your parents, you probably need to work on making sure their behavior doesn't push you toward a psychiatric breakdown.
Now that you're a mother, it’s high time you stop being a child caught up in jealousy over a favored sister; you need to mature and accept things you can't change anyway.
Though, one wonders how much your parents actually favor your sister versus how much this is just a reflection of your own complexes.
Honestly, the examples you gave as proof of favoritism aren't particularly convincing to me.
It is normal for a family to focus most of their conversation on the newest addition.
And the big news right now is your sister's pregnancy.
That happens in every American family; the newest arrival is going to be the center of attention for a while. That’s just standard.
But it isn't exactly normal to think what you wrote in your opening post—that your sister might have gotten pregnant on purpose just to push you into the background.
Similarly, your mother's reaction to you being harsh toward your sister seems completely appropriate.
Just because your mother spoke against her to you (where is the actual favoritism in that?) doesn't give you the right to discipline your sister in a way that only parents are allowed to.
As for you and your husband helping with the baby during the holidays, well, I guess that's just normal.
Your child is primarily your responsibility (I suppose), and if the grandparents want to step in, that's just their good will.
There shouldn't be any resentment there.
Regarding your husband's parents, it makes total sense that they've cooled off temporarily after your husband yelled at them.
I mean, why resort to insults in the first place?
It’s just not realistic to claim everything was perfect before, and now suddenly it’s all terrible.
Reading through your posts, there seems to be a certain amount of frustration tied to your sense of inadequacy, and maybe some postpartum hormones playing a part.
Regarding your parents, you probably need to work on making sure their behavior doesn't push you toward a psychiatric breakdown.
Now that you're a mother, it’s high time you stop being a child caught up in jealousy over a favored sister; you need to mature and accept things you can't change anyway.
Though, one wonders how much your parents actually favor your sister versus how much this is just a reflection of your own complexes.
Honestly, the examples you gave as proof of favoritism aren't particularly convincing to me.
It is normal for a family to focus most of their conversation on the newest addition.
And the big news right now is your sister's pregnancy.
That happens in every American family; the newest arrival is going to be the center of attention for a while. That’s just standard.
But it isn't exactly normal to think what you wrote in your opening post—that your sister might have gotten pregnant on purpose just to push you into the background.
Similarly, your mother's reaction to you being harsh toward your sister seems completely appropriate.
Just because your mother spoke against her to you (where is the actual favoritism in that?) doesn't give you the right to discipline your sister in a way that only parents are allowed to.
As for you and your husband helping with the baby during the holidays, well, I guess that's just normal.
Your child is primarily your responsibility (I suppose), and if the grandparents want to step in, that's just their good will.
There shouldn't be any resentment there.
Regarding your husband's parents, it makes total sense that they've cooled off temporarily after your husband yelled at them.
I mean, why resort to insults in the first place?
Butt acne/breakouts
in Health ·
Chris Gray5;12763351 said:Rebecca Roberts35 said:😲😲😲
I suppose it isn't quite that extreme in my case... but I'll see a dermatologist regardless...
Besides, I really don't have any dental issues (just had a checkup yesterday...), my complexion is great, and I've never dealt with acne or cysts anywhere on my body...
This sounds awful. Honestly, I'm feeling pretty worried now...😢
Oh, please...🙂...what is there to worry about?.....Just get a referral and head to the dermatologist, everything can be fixed... besides, I highly doubt you're dealing with cysts (and even that ex of yours eventually managed to clear up his issue), though frankly, your vivid description is to blame for making me relive old memories....😛.......
Butt acne/breakouts
in Health ·
Chris Gray5;12762357 said:
do you think she should see a dermatologist?
YES.
I once had a boyfriend who dealt with the exact same thing... he still has them on his back... thinking back on it, it looked pretty bad and was even noticeable just by touch... it was a relationship at the time, so we moved past it, but it wasn't exactly pleasant to look at or feel...
I'm not trying to overwhelm you here, I'm just suggesting you take her to a doctor...
in his case (which sounds exactly like what you described), they weren't just pimples, they were boils....
your skin is basically a mirror for your health, and it isn't right for things to be breaking out like that for no reason... anyway, his dermatologist told him that boils are often linked to dental issues, so he had to get all his cavities fixed first before they could work on removing the boils.... boils are like little sacs that constantly fill up with infection, so his doctor said they actually need to be surgically removed, because if those "sacs" aren't taken out, they just keep filling up. A boil might calm down or recede for a bit, but then it just fills right back up again...