I think I might be a pedophile. Help?!
in Psychology ·
Could this just be a lingering echo from when you were still figuring out your sexuality and trying to deny it to yourself? Even though you've come to peace with being gay now, maybe that old internal struggle—that deep-seated tension—is still hanging around in your subconscious and manifesting this way? It’s a lot like how someone might go through an incredibly stressful period at work or in a relationship, and even after the actual cause is gone, they’re still left dealing with things like anxiety or trouble sleeping.
It really seems like this fear has taken such a hold on you that it's starting to mess with your day-to-day life, doesn't it? As much as it sounds easier said than done, you truly need to find ways to unwind, practice some self-care, and try to shift your focus away from these intrusive thoughts about being a predator; honestly, just try to redirect your brain toward other things and dive into activities that relax you and keep your mind occupied. Most importantly, and definitely the hardest part, is to learn to love yourself and work toward total self-acceptance.
What would actually help you most, though, is something only you can decide! It could be anything from hitting the gym or doing yoga to meditation, getting lost in a good book, focusing on your career, picking up a hobby, traveling, hanging out with friends, or even talking to a counselor (though I personally wouldn't suggest seeing a psychiatrist right now because things could end up going south for you)... just please, be gentle and patient with yourself, give yourself plenty of time, and slowly try to steer your thoughts in a different direction until they eventually fade away. It is possible, otherwise people would never move past their darkest moments!
Based on what I know about self-help, I usually find relief by taking a "so what if it's true?" approach to my own fears. If I just tell myself, "Okay, let's say this thing I'm terrified of actually happened, now what?", I often realize that the monster in my head is way bigger than any reality could ever be, and suddenly, the fear loses its power over me. I don't know if you're ready for that kind of mental heavy lifting because it takes massive courage to face your demons head-on, so if you don't feel strong enough right now to sit there comfortably and say, "Fine, even if I were a pedophile," then please, don't force yourself to do it before you're ready.
It really seems like this fear has taken such a hold on you that it's starting to mess with your day-to-day life, doesn't it? As much as it sounds easier said than done, you truly need to find ways to unwind, practice some self-care, and try to shift your focus away from these intrusive thoughts about being a predator; honestly, just try to redirect your brain toward other things and dive into activities that relax you and keep your mind occupied. Most importantly, and definitely the hardest part, is to learn to love yourself and work toward total self-acceptance.
What would actually help you most, though, is something only you can decide! It could be anything from hitting the gym or doing yoga to meditation, getting lost in a good book, focusing on your career, picking up a hobby, traveling, hanging out with friends, or even talking to a counselor (though I personally wouldn't suggest seeing a psychiatrist right now because things could end up going south for you)... just please, be gentle and patient with yourself, give yourself plenty of time, and slowly try to steer your thoughts in a different direction until they eventually fade away. It is possible, otherwise people would never move past their darkest moments!
Based on what I know about self-help, I usually find relief by taking a "so what if it's true?" approach to my own fears. If I just tell myself, "Okay, let's say this thing I'm terrified of actually happened, now what?", I often realize that the monster in my head is way bigger than any reality could ever be, and suddenly, the fear loses its power over me. I don't know if you're ready for that kind of mental heavy lifting because it takes massive courage to face your demons head-on, so if you don't feel strong enough right now to sit there comfortably and say, "Fine, even if I were a pedophile," then please, don't force yourself to do it before you're ready.