Posts by briskgull27

Well, I am married. And honestly, if it weren't for him, this whole "I could" topic wouldn't even exist—I am one hundred percent sure of that.

As for feeling turned off by guys? Yeah, I get that too. Sometimes it's other men, and sometimes, when we’re in the middle of an argument, it's even him.🙂

You’ll never truly understand what I’m going through.
Don't worry about it.

I’m living with a lifelong chronic illness that forces me to watch my every move, yet I don't have a single blood test, X-ray, or MRI to prove any of it.

😠

And honestly? I just don't have the strength to fight against the stigma in this beautiful world.
But hey, at least I still have the internet.
😠

Andrew Harris7 said:If you don't mind me asking, how did all these issues first start for you?

It all started with some intense neuroticism—setting impossibly high standards for myself—and eventually spiraled into psychosis.

mistybison said:Even if you stopped drinking, if you were perfectly "healthy" again, you’d still be a different person than the one you were as a teenager. 😉

Exactly😍 applies to all of you.
But I know exactly what I mean.

What do you mean?
All that chaos aged me ten years overnight,
and I feel like a completely different person now,
plus, deep down, I don't truly believe I'm healthy anymore.

I definitely don't feel as sharp or productive as others my age.
But honestly, what can I say? At least my legs are working and I can still get around.😂 😂 😂 🙂

Maleficent said:People change. Nobody is the same person they were 12 years ago.

Fine, if you don't want to or feel you don't have to. 🙂

But I've been on medication for 11 years.

I don't need them right now.

But when I really feel the urge, I take something to take the edge off.😍

mistybison said:It’s not just an illusion. Honestly, I could also see myself enjoying the sterile, organized perfection of Star Trek. 🙂 Very few people actually find reality—as messy as it is—to be their ideal choice. We all have different needs, and we’d all prefer slightly different ways of organizing the world. At the end of the day, we all sacrifice a piece of our individuality just to function within the society we know. It's impossible to be "entirely yourself" while still belonging to a community. Life is essentially a series of compromises; otherwise, society tends to push you out. It sounds harsh, but that's just how it works. You can see that playing out in your own experience.

True, but what do you think about this? I wasn't always this sensitive or craving that kind of sterility.
Sure, society pushed me out, I get it, but humans have an incredible capacity to adapt.
It's like when someone thinks they're the toughest person on the block; if I had to force myself to be the "social butterfly" I was twelve years ago, I'd probably lose my hair from the stress.
And why would I even want to be part of a society that discards anyone it deems "inferior"?
What kind of superiority is left once a perceived defect is gone?
No thanks, that's just not for me.

Maybe John Cusack is just bored, so my brain is busy inventing a whole new reality
that would actually be exciting. We’re talking about a one-minute hallucination here.

As for me, I don't really have a filter.
It might sound pretentious, but I’d much prefer a more harmonious world, something like the Vulcans, for example.
But I force myself to do everything else the rest of the world does.
Unfortunately, that's where it ends—I only ever do things
so that I can claim to have accomplished something in the "real" world.
The real struggle is that I just can't bring myself to accept societal norms.

mistybison said:briskgull27, I have a question for you regarding hallucinations. When you experience one—like the one you mentioned about the atomic bomb—I assume that while it's happening, it feels completely real to you, much like how dreams feel real while we're actually in them. But once the hallucination passes, are you able to recognize it for what it was? Can you distinguish reality from the hallucination, the same way we separate dreams from waking life?

It’s definitely not like a movie scene.
I remember standing right there in my kitchen, feeling like the whole room was swaying and everything was swirling around me.
The thought about the atomic bomb wasn't even a visual thing; it was just a heavy thought. I could see the window and everything outside perfectly clearly.
In the moment, I'm aware of it, but otherwise, no.
Well, except for when those bombs are actually being dropped...
If I ever have a hallucination where my husband suddenly turns into John Cusack, I just try to say it out loud. That way, I can kill the hallucination with a little joke.

There's also this other thing: sometimes he wants to talk about serious, real-world stuff, and I just don't.
I honestly prefer being in my own little world.🙄 😲 😍

feraleagle24 said:Would you rather have a close friend or a family member who lives with schizophrenia?

I have a family member living with schizophrenia, which certainly wasn't a choice or a happy circumstance for us. However, every time he enters remission, I feel a sense of joy similar to any major career or romantic milestone. In fact, his remission brings me more happiness than anything else. My little brother fell ill when he was 17, making him quite a bit younger than me, and my parents went through some very heavy bouts of depression at the time. We live with schizophrenia as if it were a member of the family—it’s something that torments, wears us down, and causes pain, but we don't let it break us...
Even though I never wanted this in our family, today it is actually the awareness of this illness that motivates me to work harder on my own humanity and to be more understanding toward people facing all kinds of struggles.
He even peeked at my writing and shared a laugh; since he's in remission right now, schizophrenia has stepped away for a while, but we know it might return... and we are ready!🙂

Oh, we definitely don't have much "relaxing" time since we don't have a mom around, but thank God my brother is doing well. Honestly, I am just grateful that I am the one struggling instead of him.
For me, "remission" basically means any time I'm not stuck in a hospital bed.
I'm also happy that my family has been able to detach themselves from my situation; they are happy, even if I'm not fully healthy myself. I am completely prepared for whatever comes, and I really don't mind taking Haldol.
Best wishes to everyone😘
And as for being compassionate, those grandmas over in Springfield are just the sweetest!!!

500-i replay

Okay, here's a quick one: A madman escapes from the asylum and finds himself facing 100 walls
He jumps and jumps, finally clearing the 99th wall
Then he sighs and says: "Phew, I didn't accomplish anything, let me head back"
So he turns right around and goes back. 🙂

I was making lunch for my grandma earlier, and honestly, she ate it like a little kid who hasn't had a meal in days.🙂 🙂 🙂
She just won't stop teasing me about everything.🙂 🙂 🙂

That's actually against the rules😂 😂 😂

Oh man, it just hit me—I suddenly remembered I was actually sent here from outer space to complete some kind of mission! Honestly, I wasn't exactly thrilled about the assignment, but they basically kicked me out of my orbit and told me I had to get to work. So, here I am.☕ 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Megan Mitchell said:it's really no big deal... things just happen sometimes. everything makes sense now, sorry for any confusion😬 😬 😘

No need to apologize at all! We’re just heading out from Springfield for some fresh air and a nice stroll, so don't worry about it.😘
The only person I actually worry about is my brother.
Honestly, I'd hate to cause him any unnecessary stress.
As for all those selfish people preaching about "love" and "family," I couldn't care less.

Megan Mitchell said:No, I mean actual inpatient care—like a 3 to 6-week stay. When my mom (she's 43) starts getting worse, or if things get really bad, her own mother tells her she needs to go to the hospital because she just can't handle being with her anymore...🙄

I don't see what the big deal is. You just stay cooped up until you finally have that breakthrough.
After about two weeks, you can even head out for a walk.😂 😂 😂 😂
To be clear: if the psychiatric ward is located in a different hospital, it feels exactly the same. It's an asylum.
What part isn't making sense?

Honestly, look, my family doesn't really vibe with how I am, but in my opinion, they aren't exactly "normal" themselves either.

Megan Mitchell said:Are you serious? I'm being completely earnest here because there are definitely people who would vote for that option. At least within my own family...

Aha, I see where you're coming from, but that isn't a hospital—it's that assisted living facility you mentioned, the one designed for seniors over 70.
I mean, how could you possibly be in Bonita? Who knows what the situation is really like there.
One of my grandmothers passed away recently, and I absolutely loved her.
She was even talking about all the places she planned to visit once she recovered.
But in her case, she was actually heading out into the great outdoors.

You’ve completely lost it when it comes to me. Every single time, I end up having to call 911. What are you even talking about?
__________________

It’s pretty obvious that an atheist essentially becomes their own God.

This was honestly the highlight of my day. Thanks huh!🙂 🙂 🙂
Is there anything else we should add to the poll?